Good Hair (2010)

I was watching Chris Rock's "Good Hair" yesterday, and made a posting about it on Face Book. It is an hysterical journey through the sub-culture of hair straightening, presented largely through interviews, with Chris mugging and cracking jokes along the way. What came up on Facebook was a huge amount of anger about the semi-documentary, mostly from black women who wished that he'd talked more about the social pressures that force black women to do these things. White culture, black men, etc.--these are the "causes" that force black women to slather their hair with caustic chemicals, or buy multi-thousand dollar "weaves" to pretend that their hair is naturally straight, or "good."

First, it isn't Chris Rock's job to do that. He's a comedian, not a philosopher. Secondly, it isn't his job to adhere to someone else's political agenda. Women say that men make them do it. Men complain that their women make them pay for it. None of this sounds very adult to me. First, you're dealing with protective coloration, and fitting into the herd. After WW2, during the Allied occupation of Japan, Japanese women had breast enlargement surgery and rounded their eyes to fit in, and attract the dominant males. They chose to do this, to make advantage for themselves. The men who pay for their women's straight hair CHOSE those women...and probably in part for the very hair they complain about. When men, or women, chose to make themselves more attractive in order to elicit responses from the opposite sex, or people of whatever group choose to modify behaviors, dress, or body composition in order to "fit into" the herd, these are things animals have done since herd behavior first began.

It is fascinating to watch supposed adults complaining about this stuff, rather than taking the more mature position of "I choose to play this game" or "I choose not to." Instead, you get victimology: "they" made you earn more money, buy that car, wear high heels, lose weight, wear makeup, act aggressive, straighten hair, lighten skin, get a tan, etc. etc. etc.

And here's the joke: when you do that, you make yourself fit for a relationship ONLY with someone else who plays the same games. And trust me, they won't play it in exactly the arena where you play it. Which means that if you remain unconscious to your own immature reaction, you will chafe at those of your partner, never grasping that he or she is merely a mirror.

It is not fair or unfair, it just is. It is not fair that rabbits have to watch out for hawks, but they can either spend their time moping about it, or get on with their lives and watch out for fast-moving shadows. It pains me to watch people giving their power away. Probably because it is so painful when I catch myself doing it. Where do you give your power away, blaming the world instead of taking responsibility for your reactions?