The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Friday, February 26, 2010

Drop Dead, Fred

I was speaking to one of my coaching clients yesterday. He'd been studying non-violent conflict resolution, with an eye toward improving communication with his family. Jesse (we'll call him) has two male children who fought constantly and intensely. So Jesse sat them down and explained that they were all a family, that they had to get along, and that these behaviors were going to interrupt the flow of everything they want to accomplish. Jesse suggested that their arguing had a life of its own...and that they name it. The kids named their arguing "Fred." The result was that when they found themselves about to argue, one or the other would say "Fred's here," or "go away, Fred" and they could both laugh...and started getting along better. Immediately.

Now, at this point we don't know how long this will last, but I have to admit that I love it. This feels like an aspect of the "Parts Party" approach, where you personify different aspects of your personality and imagine you are having a meeting wherein these aspects can interact. Really powerful stuff. I'll be fascinated to see where this goes.


Do any of you have favorite means of improving communication, or resolving conflict?

1 comment:

blemish concealer said...

Hrmm that was bizarre, my remark acquired eaten. Anyway I wanted to say that it’s nice to know that someone else also talked about this as I had hassle discovering the same data elsewhere. This was the primary place that informed me the answer. Thanks.