The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Monday, February 15, 2010

Can We Learn From Our Past Relationships?

Relationships are not mistakes. They are data: reflections of our self-image and current energetic state.

1) Start with self-love. Fill your heart with love and it will spill over to affect others.

2) Take responsibility for your emotions and actions. Not guilt, blame, or shame--responsibility. Literally the "ability to respond." From THIS position, you are prepared to seek a non-dependent, healthy relationship with another adult human being.

3) Look at your relationship history as a series of mirrors. What do they tell you about yourself? What would you need to change to attract a healthier partner? What barriers do you need to establish, what illusions do you need to eliminate?

4) Remember that you don't NEED a partner, you wish one, desire one. You have a natural hunger for a human being with whom to share passion and dreams. You MUST have confidence that you yourself are attractive, so that you have something to offer, and can demand respect and honesty in return.

5) Self-love does not mean thinking you are better than others. It means acknowledging that you are made of the same divine stuff as the stars. So are we all. From that position, one develops true compassion for people wallowing in delusion, and the capacity to support another human being in being the very best they can be--because you are not afraid of being the best you can be.

Then, and only then, are you ready to find your Soulmate.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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