Creativity and Parenting

Lifewriting Talk: Seven Secrets of Enhancing Creativity
Wed., June 30, 2010, 7:00 PM Pacific Daylight time
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In response to the assertion that male circumcision diminishes pleasure, I proposed a way to test this that seemed fair: look at stats of time to erection based on physical stimulation. And then, time to ejaculation. It is fairly well known that men who have suffered nerve damage affecting the genitals will have derangement of these factors. They will be slower to erection, and slower to orgasm--if they can achieve it at all. I suggest that if these two factors are roughly similar for the two groups (circumcised and uncircumcised) that this is simply a matter of subjective feeling, the emotional response to this procedure, and has nothing to do with the physical procedure as a physical reality. I have to admit that when people suggest that something is beyond test or quantification, I tend to think they are speaking of a purely non-physical reality: emotion or spirit, not flesh or matter. Not that this arena is not valid, but it would seem to exclude the kind of “X does Y!” statements we’ve heard.
I respect passion, but I think such statements need to be clearly labeled as feelings, subjective evaluations, resentments, fears, anger. There would seem to be no more evidence that circumcision reduces pleasure than that it enhances it. In lieu of such evidence, this discussion cannot go anywhere at all. As with many choices regarding children, this one would seem to be parents’ choice. And as with many, many choices that parents make, sometimes kids will resent us. That doesn’t remove our obligation to make choices, however, and never has.
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But that does beg the question: what are the obligations of parents to children? How do we make those decisions? When do we go too far? It seems to me that the most basic obligation is: any survival skills we have learned. How to survive, and be healthy. Then: basic rules for interacting successfully with our society. Then: how to find mates and create successful reproductive pairs. Then: joy, satisfaction, and self-fulfillment. How to avoid pain and gain pleasure. How to learn and create an accurate map of the world. And almost lastly: how to be free. How to find your way to a spiritual balance and focus.
Others will choose somewhat different factors, and others might organize them in a different sequence. Of course, they overlap. I may have forgotten something, but it seems that given these basic things, most other things can be extrapolated. Readin’ writin’ and ‘rithmatic would seem to be part of interacting with society, and creating accurate maps. Fitness and health? Basic. Courtesy and respect? Basic. Have I forgotten anything?
And considering that our kids will protest doing much of anything that isn’t immediately entertaining to them, what right/responsibility do we have to push? How far? Being a parent means making decisions our kids will live with forever. It means using pain as well as pleasure to teach, motivate, and manipulate them. It means making them cry sometimes at the doctor or dentist, or spanking them so they won’t stick a fork into the light socket.
This stuff is tough. What are your thoughts?