The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Monday, March 01, 2010

Are You Trying To Change The World Through Anger?

Anger is just a mask over fear. Dissolve the underlying fear--in yourself or in a threatening stranger--and the anger vanishes. While it is necessary to have boundaries to protect ourselves and families, the ultimate answer is love. Love and fear compete for the same place in our hearts, and the more love we share and experience, the less anger we will feel--or others will feel toward us. Yes, this is a tad simplistic, but my students have found it incredibly valuable over the years: when someone offers violence or anger, ask: "what is this person afraid of?" As a martial artist, I am perfectly aware that there are situations where you must keep your guard and be aware that it is too late for conversation. But I've used this with both muggers and friends, strangers and family, and it works beautifully. Protect yourself...but be aware that the other person is frightened as well. Remove the fear, and you disarm the anger.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost


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Anonymous said...

Does it count as angry or afraid if I want an ISBN for Bronze Nile NOW NOW NOW so I (and the people I recommend the series to!) can properly get our pre-publication orders in and I confess I'm a bit ticked that there isn't one yet? ;)

Fan impatience isn't *your* problem of course (good writing and publishing takes time!). :)

Pagan Topologist said...

People like Ann Coulter and Glenn Beck make me extremely angry. What I am afraid of is that so many people agree with them that they will transform our nation into one in which there is nothing but misery and despair for all of us, while they gloat over our suffering.

Marty S said...

Pagan: I think your fears are groundless. Most right of center Republicans I know like myself can't stand either Coulter or Beck. The real problem in my book is that people on the left of center and right of center are being overwhelmed by the extremists on both sides and can no longer come together on reasonable compromises.

Nancy Lebovitz said...

Pagan Topologist, I've been working on trying to scale my reactions to the threat level, so that I don't see an indicator of a bad trend and react as though the trend has gone to completion