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Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Spiritual Relationships

The following copyrighted essay was sent to me by a friend and student. It may help you understand the concept of "mirroring" in relationships...


Spiritual Relationships
Partnering through Change
Guest article by Jodie Foster

In relationships, we have the opportunities to develop a deeper sense of ourselves through the mirror of our partner. If you have a generous, loving partnership, then you are possibly learning lessons related to creating a generous and loving relationship with your inner self as well. If you are in an abusive relationship, are you seeing the mirror of your relationship with your self?

Many people wonder why they keep attracting relationship partners that don't work out, or that repeat the same patterns as past partners. Often, relationships can bring out the worst in ourselves and in the other person. Understanding why these things happen and what we can do about it them is one of the keys to successful relationships.
Relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners can be a valuable "laboratory" for trying out new behaviors that can change our life.

However, when we go through changes or life transitions, it may put additional stress on the partnership by having little time for each other, being agitated and upset, etc. One person in the relationship isn't experiencing change, they both are. If one person in the mirror changes, then the other will reflect that change. These may be positive changes or can be a stirring up of old issues that haven't yet been healed or released.

In a partnership, we partner through change as well as through stability. Life is constantly changing around us and our ability to remain flexible and grow together make for a stronger spiritual relationship.

Choosing to look in the mirror of our partner, you see aspects of yourself that may be ready for transformation or release. Is there something that irritates you about your spouse? Is there a common argument that you have? Do you share similar views on many things, but have a particular stuck point on one subject?

Instead of leaping first to blame or lash out at your partner, look into the mirror and see what is there for you to see. Is there something attempting to get your attention? Are you faced with this same theme over and over again? Is there a deeper issue regarding change that you're avoiding or overlooking?

Change itself can be a scary experience for some. In partnerships, change can feel threatening to the solid foundation or nest that you have built together. When one partner is undergoing deep internal changes, the other may feel left out, neglected, no longer connected and unappreciated. If that partner refuses to reflect upon the mirror that he/she is presented with, and chooses not to undergo changes as well, the mirror becomes out of balance. There is no longer a reflection of each other. One person has changed more than the other is willing to change. This is when struggle appears in the relationship.

In a spiritual relationship, partners consciously work through these changes, each partner facing their inner feelings, looking in the mirror to see that which is ready for transformation. A spiritual relationship as such requires tremendous courage for both partners, trusting that the other will continue to transform and flow with the changes along with you. Any relationship requires courage and trust. Communication is a necessary aspect of partnership and courage is most valuable. Stepping up to the plate and facing yourself in the mirror everyday can be exciting, thrilling and challenging. Allowing it to be something you face together every day is powerful and is the cornerstone of a spiritual partnership. This intimacy can grow and deepen over years, decades and a lifetime together. And as it grows, new worlds of closeness open, love can reach its highest expression, and the highest in the human spirit manifests itself in your life.

© 2005 Jodie Foster

About this Contributor: Jodie Foster is an Intuitive Counselor who assists clients to create extraordinary transformations in their daily lives. Her work is uplifting, empowering and success-oriented. You can visit Jodie's website, Illuminations Network, for further information and to schedule a private intuitive session.


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