Let's apply what's been called the "Ultimate Success Formula"
1) identify the goal. Set specific time limits and standards.
2) identify the behaviors and beliefs that would have to change in order to accomplish the goal.
3) Identify people who have accomplished the interem goal. Model their beliefs and behaviors
4) Raise your energy level
5) Proceed toward your goal, using behavioral flexibility to try several different approaches.
6) Fail successfully--that is, note what you learn from the inevitable missteps (remember the Dark Night of the soul?)
7) Start the process over again until you achieve your goal.
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In Sam's case, it would be the healing of old wounds. A good short evidence of healing would be the loss of weight. Another would be the establishing of a healthy sexual relationship with a smart, foxy guy. Cool. so let's say that the first step might be losing 10 pounds. Losing that much wil push some buttons--remember, her body is trying to protect her from further pain! So she's inching up on the real damage, without tromping all over her last nerve. Believe me, the first ten is a perfectly good starting point.
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Assume that her body obeys the laws of physics, on a PHYSICAL level, the amount of fat-burning exercise needs to increase, as well as something to jack up her metabolism (weight training). Simultaneously, caloric intake, especially carbs, need to drop sufficiently to trigger fat burning. Water intake needs to increase to detoxify.
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but that's just the external stuff. Far more important is dealing with the emotional sewer that will open when you start to process this. I would suggest going all the way:
1) A therapeutic relationship with a licensed professional.
2) Meditation (minimum 15 minutes a day)
3) Dream Diary
4) A circle of friends and supporters on whose shoulders you can cry. Someone you can call if you get night terrors. Establish this support network NOW.
5) Without guilt, blame, or shame, take responsibility for the results you've gotten to this point. Yes, horrific damage took place. But your only way out of the box is absolute love of self, and absolute commitment to take responsibility for future growth and change.
6) find a new way every day to tell yourself that you are loved, and lovable.
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Begin to meld the body-mind connection so that the pain and fear that has been locked in your body can begin to surface. this is where the FIVE MINUTE MIRACLE's "Be Breathed" technique will be superb. Buy it, Learn it, and SLOW IT DOWN to the point where you are doing only ONE REP PER MINUTE for TEN MINUTES. that's sixty seconds per rep, absolutely no faster, understand? for ten reps. When you can do this, you have reached the first level of understanding about how to move your body so that the movement "breathes you." It is the first step of discipline, and the door to opening the subconscious mind.
If I have more "first step" thoughts, I'll add them later.
And just to make things interesting, I'm going to lose ten pounds. My weight today? 193.4. Let's see how I do. I'll talk about how I apply all of these things, until I'm down to 183.0
Fair enough?
Steve
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Quantum change program--6-14-05
Posted by Steven Barnes at 9:49 AM
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