The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Quantum Life Change

The note to a "Nice Girl" still rumbles around in my head, partially because it raises the question again of why change can be so difficult.  In some cases, of course, it's easy, but in others...years of thearapy, coaches, promises, courses...anything you can mention, and the desired changes simply don't appear.  Is it even possible to change our basic nature?
If you've been reading these words over the last months, you'll know that my answer is: No.  On the toher hand, that's not bad news, because our real basic nature is divine energy--everything else is just the way we present ourselves, the way we manifest.  And on that level, no matter what kind of change you're talking about, there are examples of it.
The lady who sent me that note (Let's call her Samantha) was sexually abused, terribly, in childhood.  The subconscious has a mandate to protect us, and in her case, it chose weight--to build a fortress around her, to minimalize her secondary sexual characteristics, to, in other words insure that unwanted sexual attention would never be directed at her again.  The problem, of course, is that she minimalizes the degree to which she broadcasts healthy sexual energy.  She is attracte to healthy, lean-bodied, intelligent, handsome guys (of course), and, (of course) has terrible trouble getting past the "friend" stage.  And the only healthy way to look at this is that she is simply broadcasting her damage.  That on a subconscious level, people know who we are, and what we've been through.  And, until or unless she can heal herself, she will only be able to attract a man as damaged as she is...or one healthy, but of lesser attributes (not as smart or successful or handsome).  And of course, that doesn't float HER boat--and why should it? So we're stuck with this human delimma: that most of us, or too many of us, don't like what we see in the mirror, and want the mirror to cut us some slack.
Moving from one level of human efficiency--whether it is weight control, changing a career, or improving our relationships, is just as difficult for many of us as it is for Sam.  It requires that the desired change match our self-image (you can't become what you don't believe you already are), and it requires honest self-expression (I think Sam is holding back MASSIVE anger at her father, who should have protected her), and it requires dumping baggage, and a huge boost of energy.
Objects at rest tend to remain at rest.  Objects in motion tend to remain in motion.  that's simple physics.  I think in the realm of deep human change we're working on the Quantum level, however.  Incremental doesn't always help.  I remember in "Think and Grow Rich" Napoleon Hill says that "Riches, when they come, if they come, often come in such an unexpected flood that we wonder where all the money has been all this time" or some such comment. In other words, you push and push and push and push...and get no apparent result, and then all of a sudden BANG!  Huge change.  How in the hell do you sustain your will, your drive, your belief, over such a long period?  How do you build up your energy to take you over that hump?
One thing is that you have to commit to raising your energy massively, and then to being as efficient and coordinated with that energy as possible.  This will involve exercise, meditation, rest, focus, visualization, proper use of emotions, nutrition, and a host of other factors.  Without energy, we fail.  "Fatigue makes cowards of us all."  Sam is no coward--I can vouch for that.  But she is rolling a giant rock up a steep hill.  I honestly believe that she has the resrouces to find the love and satisfaction she wants--without "settling" for less than a man who mirrors her healed self.  I believe that the resources are within her, and that given the right context, she can find that healing she seeks. 
But no one outside Sam is smart enough to help her do it.  Only Sam is (and  she is a brilliant lady).  I believe that the answer will be found in the I.D.E.A. concept from the Five Minute Miracle--Instinctive Designation of Energy and Attention.  So for the next little while, I'm going to do a core dump on energy and instinct, and a theoretical model that my intuition tells me can help people who have sustained deep, deep emotional bone-breaking damage.  It might get a little esoteric, but I don't care.  By this time you either think I'm crazy, or you're along for the ride.  And I love Sam, and all the Sams, dearly.   I'm going to relate all of this to the Five Minute Miracle, so if you don't have a copy of it, please get one now. 
Again, in short, we're goign to talk about how to
1) Raise energy
2) Enhance creativity (you must find your own answers)
3) Know the inner territory
4) Deal with deep fear issues
5) Clarify the goals (end point)
6) Sustain effort over long periods.

and more.  In other words, if I were writing a story about a lady with Sam's specific issues, what resources would I want her to find? Most importantly, it would be to connect her deepest, youngest self--long before the abuse took place--with her highest, most mature and strongest and most spiritual self.  These two aspects MUST connect.  They are two ends of the same Source, and together can make an "end run" around the damage.

More tomorrow.


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