The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Monday, April 01, 2013

Owning Your Emotions

You have to admit that you want change in your life. Admit that you want that passionate relationship. Admit that you want a dynamic, lithe body. Admit that you want success in a career that empowers and expresses you, and contributes to the world. Admit that you want financial stability. What stops people is fear of disappointment. Success will always belong to those who step up and take the risk. The others will have some story about how they can't, or shouldn't, or mustn't. They'll blame their genetics, their environment, society, their parents, their spouse. Anything, everything, but taking responsibility for their own lives. Adulthood is the point of conation--the point at which you stop blaming and start taking responsibility for your emotions, your actions, your beliefs. Children can fault others for their emotions, say "they made me feel X." But if you would own your life, you must draw the line, and take responsibility.

Response-Ability. The ability to respond. Not guilt, blame, or shame, but response-ability. I know I'm dealing with a child when I hear "they made me feel..."

And an adult when I hear "They did X, and I felt Y about it." That subtle shift denotes awareness. And awareness is where it begins.



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