The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Friday, November 26, 2010

Guys who listen to what women SAY they want in men...or women who listen to what guys SAY they want from women...are headed for trouble.


Anonymous said...

Steve...please elaborate. Give some specific examples. Thanks.

Mike said...

I'm just revisiting Dar Kush after a couple of months and have to reread/think about Steve's post(1-2 wks previous) about Tournament and Pair Bonding behavior. I think this is what his comment here is about.

Anonymous said...

I am a woman who is not attracted to jerks. When I was an adolescent girl, I did not date jerks - I was bullied by jerks!

I want (and know I'm not entitled to, and thankful that I have enough job skills and safety nets to survive without) a man who is (in addition to a few other attractive things) genuinely *nice*, not merely nice to women who want jerks and jerks to women like me who want nice men (for example: when a man says that *all* women only want jerks, instead of saying that the women *to whom he is attracted* only want jerks, then he's being a jerk to the rest of us by denying that we even exist).

I'd rather date a man who is nice to me than be single *and* I'd rather be single than date (or worse yet, depend on!) a man who is a jerk to me.

Do you think a guy is headed for trouble if he is attracted to me and listens to what I just said, instead of being attracted to me, ignoring what I just said, and being a jerk to me?