First, a recap of the first four steps:
1) Acknowledging that there is healing to be done.
2) Dealing with the fear and pain of that acknowledgement
3) Accepting responsibility for change
4) Creating a daily ritual of action
One important thing to do in accomplishing any goal is to grasp that, if you aren’t doing something, you may not currently have the resources to do it. We resist this, believing that we can accomplish anything if we just try harder. Or conversely, we fear that if we admit that we aren’t currently accomplishing something, it means that it is beyond our ability completely. There is a middle path—which is simply to take the position that we have the innate capacity to do something, but must gather new skills or allies to fulfill our potential.
Take a hard look at the skills and resources you currently possess. Then, by modeling the behaviors and lives of people who have accomplished what you are trying to do, determine what is necessary to reach your dreams. Subtract what you currently have from what you require, and what remains are the skills, attitudes, resources and allies you must gain in order to hit the mark.
In terms of healing your emotions, this might include (but is not limited to:
1) Support groups
2) Meditation techniques
3) Journaling or dream-journaling
4) Therapy
5) Joyful activities
6) New attitudes
7) New beliefs and means of implanting them (hypnosis, NLP, etc.)
8) Spiritual community.
9) New friends and associates
10) New mentors and teachers
It can be especially painful to admit that current associates and relationships can be negative or damaging. We sometimes feel that if we walk away from what we have, or demand respect and support from our intimates, that we will be alone. But if we are not willing to stand up for ourselves…no one else will.
Remember Step #3? Accepting responsibility for our healing? Well, I’m deadly serious about that. You have to DEMAND support and respect, or have the self-love necessary to go and find the resources you need.
If you don’t have resources outside yourself, then you have to find them within. Journaling and Heartbeat Meditation require no outside help, and can, over time, accomplish miracles. Start with deep, unquestioning love for self…and if you can’t manage that, start with the COMMITMENT to develop a deep and unquestioning love for yourself. It is critical to your survival as a spirit, and as a human being.
Settle for nothing less.
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If you have no healthy community, and lack resources, PLEASE feel free to join the free 101 DISCUSSION BOARD:
http://route101.proboards.com/index.cgi
Steven Barnes
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