The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Healing Emotions #3: Taking Responsibility for your own happiness

Healing Emotions #3: Taking Responsibility for your own happiness

One of the easiest ways for someone to control you is to hold you responsible for their happiness. Conversely, believing that other people, or for that matter any things outside your own mind, are "causing" your happiness is missing the relationship between mind and emotion.

Grasping that you have responsibility in any past negative relationships can be a healing, empowering thing--so long as you aren't paralyzed by guilt. And grasping that you, more than any other person, are responsible for making yourself happy, is liberating.

Yes, there are people who will attempt to tell you you are selfish if you seek to reference your actions to your own values and pleasure. It might be useful to ask yourself how often they neglect their own. In general, people who insist you put their wishes first have gotten in line before you to worship at their own image. It is a con game: "I take care of me, and you take care

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