The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter


Saturday, February 26, 2005

Sexual energy

We've been talking about sex,  and this is a subject that people are pretty shy about.  But sexuality is second-chakra stuff, second only to core survival in the ability to raise your energy.  A kink in this chakra can cause ghastly damage.  Rape, abuse, premature sexual experience, sexual guilt, etc.--all can cripple your energy.  If we are going to be fully alive and aware, the proper use of this energy is critical.
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I thought I would ask you guys what exactly sexuality is to you?  To begin to define the arena. There is so much here, including questions of when sex is and is not appropriate.  Was sex appropriate between a President and an intern?  Between strangers?  Between children?  I think that we all have our rules, and it's important to have those rules operating at conscious levels.
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For me, sex is appropriate between adults (those who support themselves) when there is genuine honesty about what the reciprocal obligations and communications.  Both people must understand what sex means to the other.  For instance, there are many people for whom sex means love.  No matter what they say, no matter what the context, if you have sex with them, they think it means "I love you."  And you had bettter understand that, or you are going to run into real problems.
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For me, sex is communication, entertainment, stress relief, spiritual connection, comfort, intellectual adventure, and physical art form.  I (almost) never had sex with anyone I wouldn't have been willing to take a call from at 3 in the morning if they were in trouble.  I always tried to treat my partners as I would want someone to treat my sister, my mother, or my daughter.  And I've made mistakes. There were times I wound up in bed with someone who was more damaged than I anticipated, and the results were pretty gruesome.  But with perhaps one exception, I am still on friendly terms with every lady with whom I've shared intimacy, and treasure about 98% of my memories.

Definitions for you guys?

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