Healing Your Heart: Step #2--Acknowledging fear

Healing the Wounded Heart #2--acknowledge your fear

I've been in the NW for the last week, seeing friends, doing business and recharging. Back home now, and back at work. A reader sent me the following note:

Hello Steven,

I’ve been receiving your diamondhour emails for some years now.

I read them and meditate on them, but never took any action, hence I never felt the desire to take action all these years until today, (fear, laziness, lack of motivation are my excuses) I would always dream about taking action, but never made a move.

I purchased (F.E.A.R) and I must say at first I wasn’t sure if I had learned anything, until a year ago I had to make a decision to stand up for myself at work, or continue to be harassed.

I was able to use what I learned from (F.E.A.R) and get through a very trying time, and at the end I had the courage to stand up and speak out make wrong right and at the end I had the courage to also leave a job that did not bring me any satisfaction.

...

I started a new job back in March of this year, a job that I thought I would like and maybe grow to love. I now realize I was playing it safe, by taking this job, not ready to put in the work to become a writer, what I have always desired to be since my pre-teens. I’m turning 33 in 7 days and my gift to myself is to start taking my baby steps.

I have a question for you:

Why do you send these wonderful motivating emails out, why do you give these life lessons to the public (complete strangers) Is it your way of giving back?

I appreciate all that you do, because somehow your words in your weekly emails and online information are seeds that have been planted inside of me, and I feel the growth taking place now.

I pray that you continue to be a Divine vessel and many blessings to you and your family.

With Love, Light, and Peace

(Name Withheld)

Thank you so much, J. I share because I must. It is simply a part of the deal--the universe gives to me, I have to pass it on. I see so much pain in the world connected to fear and lack of clarity. It would be like seeing a burning building, with people trapped within, thrashing about unable to find the exits. It would be almost impossible not to say: "here's the door."

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One of the things I've noticed over the last years is that until people are prepared to actually deal with their issues, they will complain about them, but never actually look at the underpinnings, tell the truth about what is happening to them, or admit fear. The standard tactic is to blame others (or genetics, or environment), seek to distract questioners with borderline illogic, create arguments to distract questioners with guilt ("how can you say that! That's offensive") instead of looking at WHY a string of words triggered an anger response. And so forth. And the sad thing is that, hours, days, or years later, these people admit that they were using those techniques to distract, protect, deflect, or slow down the process of change.

In dealing with wounded people, it is very common for them to use the following tactics:

1) saying they don't want a relationship.

2)only being attracted to people who are unavailable (due to other commitments, geography, emotional problems)

3) setting impossible preconditions to relationships

4) drain off all their "relationship" energy into caretaking and "fixing" others, rather than dealing with their own "stuff."

The most honest approach would be to say "I'm not ready to have a relationship yet. I have work to do." But this is as rare as someone saying "I'm not ready to lose the weight yet" or "I'm not ready to heal my finances yet." The far more common reaction is to try to convince allies, friends and families that they are fine, doing all they can, are in control.

Eventually, the consequent string of failures will either cause enough pain to wake them up, or drive them into bitterness and denial: happiness, health, or success are impossible. Or: they believe they are simply broken.

Both are terribly sad, and a waste of life.

What stops them from clarity is usually fear. Fear of admitting they are the problem. Or that they don't know what they really want. Or that if they admitted what they really want, they would have to deal with the disappointment of never having it. Or fear that their allies would desert them if they didn't "think" that every effort was being made. This is very common among people who are "trying" to lose weight, while actually needing to keep it on. They will EITHER exercise, or "diet"...but never control input AND output at the same time, because that would actually cause weight loss and dissolve the armor.

Fear. If the first step is to acknowledge that the heart needs healing, the second step is to be honest about the fear that causes distortion and deflection. You don't need to have the ANSWER, but you must clearly state the situation, and also the question. Leading to the formulation:

1) I am dealing with massive fear in this arena.

2) I don't know how to deal with that fear.

Just the clarity, and the commitment to tell the truth and not take side-trips through delusion, are necessary steps to actually defining the problem clearly and determining the appropriate resources necessary to accomplish the goal. Remember that your ego thinks it is you--it will not help you in this process.

Remember the "Cradle to the Grave" time-line: connect with your childhood goals. Connect with your deathbed values. Conduct yourself on a daily basis so that both your "child" and "elder" personalities are happy with what you are doing on a daily basis.

Accept no substitutes.

Steve

Ten Steps To Healing Your Heart: Step #1

We had a fabulous "Diamond Hour" show on Saturday. Lots of great energy and synergy. According to comments, the highlight was my listing of "Ten Steps to healing your heart."

Now, understand--I'm not just talking about "heartbreak" in the romantic sense, although everything I said certainly applies. I'm talking about any arena where too much fear, or too little love, has crippled your ability to express yourself fully. Where have you let either stop you? Your career? Social connections? Fitness and health? Creative output?

Doesn't matter. These ten steps, culled from a lifetime of study and organized along the steps of the Hero's Journey (of course) will work either with a specific issue, or a generative need. In other words, if you follow the steps, you will receive benefits far beyond the issues you may be consciously aware of. This...is good stuff.

1) STEP ONE: Acknowledge that you NEED healing. No human being makes it through life unscathed. We all carry war-wounds, scars, disappointments, pain, fear, grief, resentment, and anger. Life kicks the living #$%% out of you, if you can't keep your balance and protect your open heart. Tell the truth.

If Musashi's first step is "Do Not Think Dishonestly," that means the ability to admit that there IS an issue is the single most important, critical step. Without it, you will not take action. Let yourself feel the pain of betrayal, disappointment, failure, breaking your word to yourself, losing love...all of these things can be used to motivate. How? Gain clarity on what your perfect life would be, had you not carried these wounds. What would your perfect career be? Financial picture? Relationship? Body? Self-image? If you weren't carrying those wounds, what would be true about you that is not true today?

The greater your clarity, the easier it will be to do the following: put your fear behind you, your love in front of you, and run like hell.

But the first step is to acknowledge there is work to do.

Get busy!

Tower Heist (2011)

What if disgruntled Bernie Madoff victims decided to rip him off? That's the basic set-up of this low-rent "Ocean's Eleven" caper film starring Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy. The employees at an ultra-swank NY condo building invest their retirement and life savings with a sleazy stock manipulator (Alan Alda) and when he is revealed as a thief, are totally devastated. When the general manager (Stiller) learns that Alda may have salted away twenty million in cash in his apartment, the idea of ripping him off is pretty automatic.

He recruits a rag-tag group of former employees and residents (including Matthew Broderick and Gabourey Sidibe), but needs the help of an old friend (Eddie Murphy as a career criminal. Very good, but underused) to pull it all together. The climax, taking place during the Macy's Thanksgiving parade, involves various (very) hi-jinks and is pretty tense and funny, if not classic.

And here's the problem. It could have been. They actually had a set-up that could have gone all the way to classic, but despite six featured writers, is undercooked. The relationship between Stiller and Murphy wasn't really explored or arced, the relationship of race and class in America could have been a deeper subtext (as, for instance, it was in "Trading Places") and Murphy's arc is curiously flat, to the point that we aren't even certain what happened to him at the end.

That said, it is clever, and fun, a perfectly good way to spend a couple of hours. The performers are strong across the board, and the revenge scenario is lip-smacking good. With nods to classic capers like "The Thomas Crown Affair" and "Goldfinger," "Tower Heist" is good enough...but should have been much, much better. A "B-"

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CONFRONTED WITH CHALLENGE: Building manager Ben Stiller must deal with the reality that his hero is a crook.

REJECT CHALLENGE: If it is true, he has flushed his friends' savings down the toilet. Massive guilt.

ACCEPT CHALLENGE: Let's rob the thief.

ROAD OF TRIALS: Every action taken to plan and execute the robbery (can't be more specific without ruining the movie!)

ALLIES AND POWERS: Employees, resident, and old friends who have various needed skills and motivations. Courage, intelligence, knowledge of the building and residents all come to bear.

CONFRONT EVIL-DEFEATED: A major reversal toward the end of the film makes all seem lost.

DARK NIGHT: Betrayal, confusion, and failing plans seem to doom them.

LEAP OF FAITH: The ability to switch plans at a moment's notice leads to a hair-raising climax

CONFRONT EVIL-VICTORIOUS: A final conversation with Alda is delicious.

STUDENT BECOMES THE TEACHER: No real lessons...but a perfectly reasonable measure of audience satisfaction.

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New blog post: review of "Oliver" (1968)
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"Oliver" (1968)

One of the finest musicals ever created, "Oliver" is a slightly lighter version of Dickens' classic "Oliver Twist" with some of the more abusive and horrific aspects toned down, the anti-Semitism considerably curtailed, and a sprinkling of drop-dead brilliant performances (Ron Moody and Fagin, Shani Wallace as Nancy, Jack Wild as Artful Dodger) and one heart-breaking and soleful (and unfortunately once-in-a-lifetime) performance from Mark Lester as the titular orphan, Oliver.

The original novel was subtitled "The Orphan's Progress" and that title is accurate. It is the tale of Oliver, born to an unmarried mother in a poor house in London in the 1800's. He is shuttled from one terrible situation to another until running away to "make his fortune" in London. There, he meets the marvelously amoral young pickpocket Artful Dodger, who introduces him to Fagin, the elderly mentor to a bunch of thieving street urchins, also meeting the monstrous Bill Sykes (Oliver Reed) and his wounded, pathologically optimistic, doomed girlfriend Nancy.

We all know the story that follows, but by making Fagin more empathetic (he has genuine avuncular affection for Artful Dodger, and is no longer the "loathesome Jew" of the novel. Brrrr. Interestingly, several musical cues are reminiscent of "Fiddler on the Roof" such that his ethnicity is clear, but Moody imbues Fagin with a humanity wholly missing from the novel, and his story arc is just marvelous). The art design is magnificent, evoking London from the high to the low, letting us smell the stinking streets while still somehow able to agree with Nancy that it's "A Fine, Fine Life." A small miracle.

Hero's Journey time:

HERO CONFRONTED WITH CHALLENGE: Orphan Oliver must find some way to a decent, moral life.

REJECTS CHALLENGE: There seems no hope for such a happy outcome. There is no clear route to anything but degradation, crime, and eventually prison and decay.

ACCEPTS CHALLENGE: His basic decency and optimism shines forth no matter what the circumstances. His is a pure soul in a warped world.

ROAD OF TRIALS: from Workhouse to London alleys (literally walking a long and painful "road" along the way), learning to be a thief, being caught, tried, adopted into a good home, being kidnapped, forced to steal...oh, I could just go on and on.

ALLIES AND POWERS: Artful Dodger (regardless of introducing Oliver to crime, it is arguable that Oliver might have died or worse had they not met), Nancy, and then various Magistrates, beadles, relatives and charitable souls who lift him slowly from the gutter)

CONFRONTATION WITH EVIL--FAIL: Bill Sykes (and to a lesser degree, the wiley Fagin) are unwilling for Oliver to be rescued from his situation, and when it seems he has "escaped,"drag him even further down. Sykes is a beast with no redeeming qualities other than having all his teeth. Sykes kidnaps Oliver with the help of Nancy.

DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL--It seems that Oliver will never escape the "trap" of poverty and crime.

LEAP OF FAITH--Again, his pure spirit shines forth from the very beginning, and inspires Nancy to take steps to save him, even though they ultimately cost her own life.

CONFRONT EVIL--SUCCEED Sykes is undone as the entire community rises up to prevent his escape. Oliver is rescued and restored to his rightful station in life.

STUDENT BECOMES THE TEACHER. Well...Oliver has touched the hearts of all around him. Arguably, Artful Dodger and Fagin are still the same rascals they were at the beginning (an utterly charming scene) so we can just take this step to represent Oliver's rise in station, and confidence that he will become a fine man and pillar of his community.

It is instructive to read "Oliver Twist" and then to watch the musical, to see the choices made, and theorize about why they were or were not appropriate. Get to work!

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Subject: healing the heart

New Blog Post: Double your confidence (just close your eyes!)
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Double Your Confidence...(just close your eyes!)

"The confidence of amateurs is the envy of professionals" G.J. Nathan.

My seven year old son thinks he is a professional soccer player. My non-writer friends think that I should just be able to write whenever and whatever and from wherever I want, and that they can call me in the middle of my work-day and it won't matter.

People mocked Jack LaLane for growing old. People who have never had a healthy relationship offer unsolicited advice on how to find love or "score."

And people who have never run a business are filled with opinions about how Apple or Microsoft should operated. People on both sides of the abortion debate "know" when life begins, while scientists can't even agree on the line between "living" and "non-living" objects.

From the outside of any discipline, it is easy to have opinions about what is true, how it works, what we should do. Without a means to TEST those opinions, it is just hot air. The reason I love the Scientific Method so much is that if you can actually observe a phenomenon, formulate a hypothesis, create an experiment to test your hypothesis and then publish your results...the feedback you get from people who attempt to duplicate your experiment is awesomely valuable to help you make your way through life's amazingly subjective minefield.

The deeper you go into any field, the more your former certainty dissolves away. I used to love listening to armchair boxing fans criticize Ali's performance: "dammit, man doesn't even know how to keep his hands up!" I notice that these people never place themselves in an arena where their ideas can be disproven.

This is why I say that you need to have goals in multiple, measurable arenas of your life: relationship, physical health and fitness, mental clarity (career skill), and finances. Set up standards that allow you to actually succeed or fail. Objective measures, not "feelings". How many pages did you write? How much did you sell? How many times did you meditate this week? How much time did you spend with your children? Do you have a healthy romantic/sexual relationship? Did you eat consciously?

By actually measuring, actually stepping into the arena in which your theories about life can be proven or disproven, you stop being an "amateur" human being and start being a "professional"--your job is to be the best, healthiest, happiest, most honest, loving, and successful version of "you" you can be. It will be a process of testing your assumptions one at a time, examining your beliefs, clearing away the fog. It can be frightening to realize that there is a cliff RIGHT OVER THERE! But knowing it is there, and dealing with the fear, is hellaciously better than blindly going right over the edge with eyes closed and a confident, cocky smile on your face.

Especially if your kids are in the back seat.

Screaming.

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New Blog Post: The Power of Sleep
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The Power of Sleep

The Power of Sleep

One of the most powerful resources for improving all areas of your life is as simple as a good night's sleep. Yes, you have much to do, and miles to go before you...well, you get the joke.

But in order to raise your level of accomplishment in any arena, you must increase your energy. And there are four things necessary to raise energy: stress, nutrition, focus, and rest. Too much or too little of any of these factors, and you will fall apart.

If you are in the midst of a critical problem, your every urge might be to work 24/7, surviving on 3-5 hours of sleep a night, but this is a terrible mistake, and will lead to an inevitable erosion of your mental and emotional capacities.

The cycle of creative breakthrough is well understood: define the problem, saturate yourself in the available information about the topic, push as hard as you can...and then back off. Do something else altogether. Take a nap, or get a good night's sleep, asking your unconscious to have the answer in the morning. Chances are you'll wake up not only refreshed, but with a conceptual breakthrough that will "nibble away" at, or totally break through your problem.

This idea applies to problems in every arena: personal, physical, financial...whatever you can think of. To be specific, that cycle again:

1) Define the problem.

2) Overload with every possible bit of information you can absorb

3) Do all the work you are capable of before "brain fry" sets in.

4) Take a COMPLETE break. For some this means activities such as going to the zoo. Going dancing. Seeing a movie. The choices are infinite, but at minimum you MUST must engage with some other activity deeply enough to totally forget about the problem.

For many people, a good shower is their "breakthrough" time. Or a jog. In "Think And Grow Rich" Napoleon Hill suggests making love with your spouse (there are a variety of reasons for this, some serious, some almost metaphysical, and some just...well, it's fun!).

But sleep probably tops them all. In sleep, the conscious mind is forced to shut down. Dreams boil up nightly, whether you remember them or not. While theories vary as to their meaning, whether you believe they are messages form another plane, communication between the conscious and unconscious mind, or the memory "organizing" scraps of information and impression, it is clear that deep Delta dream sleep is necessary for health and mental efficiency. It is also during this REM sleep that the body produces HGH, a necessary healing and growth factor.

It is tragic that so many people deny themselves the 7-9 hours of sleep a night that their minds and bodies need to function at peak efficiency. Health, energy, healing, problem solving, muscular growth, integration of physical skills, creativity, emotional balance, and life itself all depend upon this critical nightly resource.

If you suffer from aches and pains, lack of energy or sex drive, difficulty losing weight, mental confusion, slowed reflexes (traffic accidents SOAR among the sleep deprived) and are getting less than seven hours of sleep a night, resolve this issue before looking for more subtle and complex solutions.

It might be as simple as a good night's sleep.

Mastery: a 1% weekly increase in quality and/or quantity of output, concurrent with a 1% decrease in perceived effort.
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New blog post: Winning the Blame Game
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Winning the blame game

I recently came across a thread in which a lady of much intelligence and perception observed that many women are "simply trying to deal with the pain that has been directly inflicted upon them time and time again."

This is very true, but must NOT be mistaken for the statement "and therefore, men are worse than women." That is a separate statement, which would have to be defended quite separately from the simple, painful statement that many women are in pain.

My position is very simple: people are people, and men and women rip the hell out of each other. It is easy to find groups that will point the finger at "the other" whether you are talking about male/female, black/white, Christian/Muslim or whatever. The default position for human beings is to say that other people are responsible for your pain, rather than looking at the person in the mirror.

Or to put it another way: lots of people blame others for their issues. If you think you can have a healthy relationship with someone who does that, go right ahead and try: but if you want to have a relationship with someone who takes responsibility for their choices, actions and emotions that is exactly what YOU have to do.

I remember very clearly a woman who was actually a therapist (!) who told me that she knew men were shit, and had the experience to prove it--she had been married many times. I laughed in her face, and said that there was only one thing in common between all her relationships--she was there. I bore down and it turned out she was attracted to "bad boys" and asked her what happened when she met a "nice guy." After a lot of deflection and hawing, she confessed that she wasn't attracted to them. Her choices. Her results.

Imagine two rooms. In one are men who blame women for their failed relationships, and women who blame men for the same. In the other are men and women who take responsibility for their choices. PERIOD. You get to decide which room you enter. I suspect that everyone reading this would like to go to the second party. The cover charge is awakened adulthood, and refusal to blame others for your decisions. There is no cheating.

In life, we don't get what we want. We get what we are.

This painful truth emerges in the realm of the physical body, our finances, and in our relationships.

Of course, you may take the opposite position, that we DON'T have responsibility. That "the other" is worse, more immoral uncaring and evolved than Wonderful Us.

Let me know how that works for you, would ya?

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Puss In Boots (2011)

If the "Shrek" films had done no more than introduced the swashbuckling feline, that would have justified their existence. "Puss In Boots" is a wonderful family animation, and by that I do NOT mean "children's film." Yes, your kids will love it. But they make it very, very clear from the very first minutes that this is also for adults, with multi-level humor that will soar right over the kiddies' heads, while adults are guffawing at what the filmmakers got away with.

Antonio Banderas is perfectly voice cast as the titular kitty, who wanders a fantasy Spain seeing to redeem himself from a childhood disgrace. Puss, it seems, grew up in an orphanage with Humpty Dumpty (Zach Galifianakis. One of the great conceits of the film is the way humans and fairy-tale characters coexist without the slightest snicker) who betrayed their friendship. Years later, Humpty uses the delectable Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayack) to lure Puss into an incredible plan to steal the golden goose from Jack and Jill (Billy Bob Thornton and Amy Sidaris). As one might expect, hilarity ensues...but more important (and impressively) so does romance, genuine adventure, heroism, and a meditation on the importance of both friendship and family. Surprisingly sexy but innocent, riotous and kind-hearted, loony-tune and classically structured, "Puss", unlike its progenator "Shrek" is more than a goof on fairy tales. It is more interested in the inner workings of heroic/romantic myth. Executive produced by Guillarmo Del Toro, it rests on a Latin sensibility that gives it a rhythm all its own. I couldn't believe it, I don't know where or how it happened, but dammit, I left the theater with a lump in my throat, and it wasn't the popcorn.

"Puss In Boots" is pretty close to classic. Banderas brings a full measure of "Zorro" panache to the role, and a sly reading to his lines (especially the way he says his name) that kept a silly grin on my face even between the dazzling set-pieces. Oh...and I forgot I was wearing 3-D glasses, probably the highest complement I can offer the technology. It was just...another world, where cats and eggs grow up together.

Oh...and some of the verbal humor is just pricelessly dual-level. When Humpty explains what his incarceration was like, he says: "You don't know what happens to an egg in prison. I can tell you...it ain't over easy."

I just about choked. For what it is? An easy "A."

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The thread of "Puss" is, of course, the Hero's Journey. All concerned clearly pulled from their own memories of adventure films, fairy tales, Latin music and Spanish visual design for this terrific movie. You need to dig deep into your own heart, memories, and cultural images in your own work, and theLifewriting Year Longwill help you do exactly that! Do you have your copy?

You must remember this...

One of the most beloved films of all time is "Casablanca"--admired, analyzed, emulated. A war story, a love story, a musical, and most importantly, the story of a resurrected spirit. "Rick" (Humphrey Bogart) was a freedom fighter who fell in love and was betrayed. He falls into a deep depression, in which nothing matters, and his normal human emotions are scrambled. But when his lady love Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman) returns to his life, his false image (happy, successful, romantic) is shattered to reveal the wounded, angry soul within. Only when he discovers that not only does she love him, but was more worthy of his love than he could have imagined (her courage and commitment matches his own!) does anger and hate leave him, love fills his heart, and he becomes a greater hero than he has ever been, capable of inspiring others (Claude Rains, as the corrupt Inspector Renault) to courage as well.

A wonderful film, one of the best "popular entertainments" ever, and it has touched generations because it speaks truth: our actions, beliefs,goals and values must all be in alignment, or we limp through life as broken souls. We must seek to know ourselves deeply, more deeply, every day. To make choices based on our adult values, not the screaming of our "needy wounded abandoned child." To chose love that lifts us up and inspires us to be the very best we can be, and not simple fleshly pleasures or co-dependency. "Casablanca" is a story of resurrection, of awakening, of two mature souls seeing, in each other that their ego needs "don't amount to a hill of beans in this world."

Wow. THAT is the way to write an "entertainment."

That is the way to construct a life.

Do You Believe In Magic?

Over on the Wealth Beyond Riches board (the project I'm developing with marketing whiz Andy Duncan. With all the unemployment, "Think And Grow Rich" suggests that you stop "looking for a job" and instead create a career. Frankly, I don't know how to teach someone to build their own business in terms of nuts and bolts. Andy has coached hundreds of people to do exactly this, so he's my choice. http://tiny.cc/da5b9) a student bravely stood up and declared that she intends to set herself free from a painful childhood and an unfulfilled life. Guess what happened?

"Six days ago I went on an all out quest to breakthrough all of this. I’m on a mission! I mean serious intention. Since then my computer has crashed; my backup computer went ballistic, all hell broke lose in some people encounters, etc. "

My answer:

Brilliant! Thank you for the opportunity to bring up a CRITICAL thing to remember.

Your experience is absolutely, 100% common. Your ego thinks it is you. Try to change in any meaningful way, and watch it throw EVERYTHING at you to stop you. Now this is where it gets interesting. Some have belief systems that include the possibility of "miracles." Others do not. In this case, it doesn't matter at all which is true.

If you notice that statistically improbable bad things happen when you try to change, does this mean that you are CAUSING the external problems? Or just noticing them? Doesn't matter a whit. Why?

Because if you CAN affect external circumstances through belief systems, that gives you power in the arena of prayer. Great! If you can "create" negatives, you can also "create" positives. Either both are true, or neither.

But if it's just a matter of NOTICING more negative externals (and thereby screwing up your plans) don't you get the joke? You can just as easily filter to notice the GOOD things in the world, and thereby EMPOWER yourself. This is massive, massive power that you can claim. Either you affect your external world directly (prayer, or "The Secret") or you affect your internal ability to notice only those things that are in alignment with your unconscious drives. The implication is life-changing.

How do we do this? If negative circumstances come from taking actions out of alignment with our deep negative self-image, then try proceeding from the possibility that POSITIVE circumstances come from taking actions aligned with our most positive self.

Practical magic, anyone? ("Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic--Arthur C. Clarke)

1) Re-write your top 3-10 goals daily without looking at yesterday's list.

2) break your goals into "bite size" chunks that can be accomplished one day at a time.

3) Find a role model to emulate who has accomplished similar goals.

4) Raise your energy level.

5) Journal, dream-journal, and meditate to gain clarity. Connect with the deepest, most loving part of your essence. Dive deep within, to the youngest "you" you can find who is undamaged by life, and give that "child self" all the love you have, without reservation.

6) Work to bring your dreams, values, and daily actions into alignment.

What a wonderful post.

Healthy children will not fear life if their elders have integrity enough not to fear death. ~Erik H. Erikson

Random loving acts are like planting trees--setting a forest fire is faster and gaudier, but ultimately, the trees win.
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_________while you sleep!

_____ While You Sleep!

You've seen ads like that, suggesting you can get rich, build muscle, change your personality, or lose weight without effort. The problem is that there is a grain of truth to it. Just a grain, and you have to sort through a lot of b.s. to "get it."

In order to change your life in ANY way, you have to increase your energy.

There are four things necessary to raise energy: stress, nutrition, focus, and rest. Too much or too little of any of these factors, and you will fall apart.

Physically, it is easy to understand this. Stress is exercise, the "trigger" to motivate your body to adapt. Nutrition is healthy food, of course. Focus is a conscious plan of action: "general" fitness seems to be something of a myth. The SAID principle, Specific Adaptation to Imposed Demand. In other words, determine the qualities you wish, design a program which will provide those benefits, and get very, very good at that. Rest is both sleep, "off" days, and programmed recovery.

Mentally, this can be harder to understand. Three weeks ago, I learned that my book DEVIL'S WAKE was too long. Stress! I made an immediate decision: to see if it could be divided into two books (the alternative was to cut it down in size.)

So I broke the task into bite-sized chunks. Could it work? How? At what point in the book? I decided there was a natural breaking point, after my characters survive a major ambush, and before they enter into the bizarre world of a George Lucas/L. Ron Hubbard hybrid. Don't ask.

But how to "round" both halve? Wellll...

Nutrition. With mental work, nutrition is input. Research. For a novelist, this is the fun part. Reading post-apocalyptic novels, and watching such films and television. Thinking my way through each character and doing additional research into them, their lives and environments.

Focus. As I said, just taking on one task per day. Not trying to do everything at once.

Rest. Rotating tasks to work on different projects, which is like rotating upper/lower body days at the gym. Getting PLENTY of sleep (most people with energy problems have a huge bleeding wound right here. They need look no further for their answer.) And, hey...doing more "research" going to see movies, read books and luxuriate in the world of my imagination...my very favorite world.

As a result, we turned in book #1, DEVIL'S WAKE last week. And this week, the second book DOMINO FALLS. With thousands of words of new text, changed information, tweaked characters, and modified action arcs. We are VERY happy with the books, and I'm even happier with the process.

Where do YOU need growth? Where do YOU need energy? Follow this model, and thrive!

Steve

Wealth Beyond Riches

The entire scope of my teaching, from the original "Lifewriting" to the current "101 Program" has been the question of what happens, what results if I concentrate my attention on BALANCE as opposed to any single aspect of balance.

Originally, I began with "Body, Mind and Spirit," the traditional triangle. Then in study, it became clear that while "body" was very easy to measure, "spirit" was almost impossible. It didn't seem quantifiable at all. But what was true about all major world religions is that they had some version of the "Golden Rule"--"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." In other words, the core spiritual teaching of the entire world seemed to be about the integrity of relationships. Relationships are measurable. So I went there. Bingo.

"Mind" for a lot of people is their performance on tests. I say life itself is the only test that counts. And that intelligence is problem solving, and the primary problem to solve, according to Maslow's Hierarchy of human needs, is providing food and shelter. In other words, career.

Applying the triad of fitness/health, relationship and career to my own life was exhilarating, revealing, uplifting, and sometimes embarrassing. But over the years, I noted that there was still something...missing. I noted that in the SF field for instance, there were people who were at the very top of their fields, considered masters, who were still broke. Died broke. Literally couldn't provide for their families. In my own life, I began to notice that I'd made tons of money in novels and television writing, but

1) Had no ability to generate money rapidly--the time lag between cause and effect was so long that the learning curve couldn't accelerate properly.

2) The ability to create "security" in the arts seemed roughly equal to the ability to get struck by lightning at the moment you win the Boston Marathon.

3) Even if I made the money, the uneven distribution of the windfalls made it very difficult to save, budget, or plan. It is similar to the eating habits of people who never know when they're getting more food--your metabolism goes wonky, and you stuff yourself.

##

Marrying Tananarive, who also made plenty of money on an irregular schedule, heightened my appreciation of the problem. I began to seek an answer, a way to have a bit more control of the process. And that search ultimately led to the questions of management, investment, and production of money as a SEPARATE skill from "career", which in most minds is the attaining of excellence in performance. If I didn't separate them out, it was totally possible to become one of the best in the world...and still die broke.

Happens all the time.

So...body, career, relationships...and money. Four aspects. Spirit? Hey, if you are healthy, happy, productive and supportive in your community, have loving relationships and in control of your immature impulses, I believe Spirit takes care of itself. Spirit is the "wind." The way we are in the world with our energy, our loved ones, our community and our "temple" is the bending of the grass. Is the grass bending? Then the wind is blowing, even if you can't see it.

So, following the pattern of the Hero's Journey, I needed to find allies who understood the aspects of money I did not understand. Went back to "Think And Grow Rich" and re-read, seeking to remember what I'd forgotten, or identify my greatest weaknesses. There were a bunch of 'em. But one was marketing. The ability to promote and sell the goods and services I'd created. And the creation of the Internet opened an entire world market for those who understand sales, marketing, and advertising. What I had to do was find someone an order of magnitude (at least!) better than me at this stuff, who was also willing to teach.

And accidentally (as it often happens), I found my mentor.

I do a lot of radio and teleseminar interviews, and one was for a filmmaking brain-storming group run by a Canadian chap named Andy Duncan: marketing guru, swordmaster, loving father and all-around interesting guy. We hit it off, and he asked me if I'd work with him as a coach as he developed a few new projects. He'd made his money primarily in internet marketing, and I was impressed with the depth and breadth of his knowledge of how to start from NOTHING and make money. And I mean nothing. He specialized in helping people with zero resources build businesses from scratch, and was able to show me a hundred ways I was "bleeding money" in my online business. Wow! I was blown away, and realized that the most profitable relationship I could have with Andy was a straight exchange--I coach him in writing, he coaches me in internet business building. Our relationship grew, and I began to help him with his physical health, and relationships. And over time, we began to see each other as the "yin" to each other's "yang." That together, we could create something better and bigger than either of us could alone.

After three years of talking and planning, the first fruit of these conversations is ready, a project called "Wealth Beyond Riches."

If the idea of having health and balance and love AND building your own business appeals to you, you'll want to pick up the totally FREE "Wealth Beyond Riches" report we created.

This is new territory for me. I'm hyped, and curious about how it will all sort out. If you'd like to discover that for yourself...join me, won't you?

Steve

(PSST!! Writers: Interested in Self-Publishing? A huge percentage of internet money is made through the selling of ebooks, PDFs, MP3s, and other forms of...information. The exact same mindsets can work for you!)

http://tiny.cc/da5b9

I was talking to Bill Cosby yesterday...

Yesterday I watched an absolute master. Bill Cosby performed at Georgia Tech university, and I was in the front row, not eight feet away from him, as he held an audience of thousands spellbound, just sitting in a chair telling stories. He had us howling, crying, nodding, laughing, cheering, and applauding...

Just sitting in a chair.

How did he do it?

He told the truth. Oh, yes, like all storytellers, he exaggerates. But "Truth" and "factual" are different things. By diving deep into his own life, he found the truth about...childhood. Love. Marriage. Aging. Puberty. Men and women...and so much more.

He dives DEEP into the truth of his own reality, and the deeper you go into the specific memories of your own life, the more you emerge in the universal. Young and old, black and white, rich and poor (well, there probably weren't a whole lot of poor people in that room. Those tickets were pricey!) we all felt it. He unearthed emotions many of us hadn't experienced in decades, and the DING! of recognition triggered cascades of empathetic emotional release. Magnificent.

Learn from the master. If you are a writer, go DEEP into your characters. Find the specifc responses, memories, observations and motivations from your own life, or that you have noted in the course of a conscious life. Your readers will love you.

If you are in sales...and EVERYONE is in sales, remember that your clients, all of your clients, have but one question: what's in it for me? Understand yourself, and human nature in general, and you understand the hopes, dreams, and fears of all humanity. Touch THAT nerve, and you develop trust and rapport. Offer goods and services that satisfy those needs, and you create a dynamic career.

Do yourself a favor. Buy a CD or DVD of The Master performing. You may not have the wonder of having him talk directly to you, as I did. But in another way...he's talking to all of us, all the time.

www.diamondhour.com

Cutting a zombie in half

I recently finished my "zombie" (more "28 Days Later" than Romero-style) novel, "DEVIL'S WAKE" and turned it in, and our editor, Malaika Adero, was thrilled.

Then...we got the call. There was a problem. The problem was that it was too long. Ouch. We had a couple of choices: we could cut it down, or...

The second option: we divided it into two parts. Luckily there was more than enough action, romance, horror, and fun to make that work, but we had to go back in and:

1) be certain that both halves have their own story arc.

2) be certain that the character arcs complete in each book (or at least "round" in a satisfying fashion.

3) find a good title for the second half, and be certain that the titles "work." (The title "Devil's Wake" relates to the name of a Catalina Island-like sanctuary my characters dream of. The name derives from a luminescent phytoplankton display off the coast, resembling a demonic face. Also, of course, it is a pun: "Devils" (zombies) are awakening in the world). Originally, they make it all the way to D.W. by the end of the book, but now the first book ends half-way through their journey. Adjustments must be made.

##

There are other things that have to be adjusted, but it is fun to note that we already have multiple inquiries from movie studios, and foreign publishers. Yummy. All of this re-writing is based on the ability to step "back" and see/feel the rhythm of the entire work, or focus up on individual scenes, character interactions, descriptions and so forth and be certain that they all work to create a cohesive whole.

That is difficult. The same skill is necessary in life. To see every day as a unit in itself, but also a step toward a unified vision of living with integrity and passion. Often, if you can't see a way out of a problem, all you can do is take another step, with integrity, courage, and all the energy and joy you can muster.

FREE daily tips for your writing career: http://tiny.cc/adlv8

I had a long, and painful conversation with a student Saturday. This man has damaged his life through actions that were sexually unethical, selfish, self-destructive, and a betrayal of values he holds precious. One step at a time, he is clawing his way out of the pit.

I just got this email from him:

###

Steve:

One of the things you were saying Saturday was about the whole life-death thing. Something about going through life embracing or reaching out for life and death at the same time and what that meant or really was about. It was something I wanted to think about later and like everything that contains some message I want to avoid gets quickly forgotten. I can't even recall the proper terms you used about this but I'm sure you know to what I'm referring. So, what was it? And if you have any references to any sources, even if it's the philosophy of a culture, a school or thought or philosophy. I have never heard anything similar.

Thanks,

D.

###

Dear D:

I can never recreate precisely anything that I say, 'cause I'm not regurgitating a credo, but rather describing something I see and feel at the time, in response to the current situation...which can never repeat. Sigh.

However, it works like this. Freudian terms: Eros and Thanatos. The life and death drive. Too much or too little of each and you'll either stagnate (fear of losing life) or engage in self-destructive behavior (seeking death). The right amount of each and you both revel in life, and continually re-create yourself (embracing ego death) in the midst of the storm.

From another view, what I call "Cradle to the Grave", you create a "thread" between the dreams you had as a child, and the values you will embrace on your deathbed.
If you think you have no contact with either, meditation, journaling and research can help. There is a remarkable consistency to what people find of value at the end of their lives. Contribution, love, growth, self-expression, simple joy, connection to family and friends. The trick is to find ADULT expressions of your childhood ambitions that also align with the deathbed values.

I've put this as simply as possible, but there is a lifetime of work in defining these things for yourself, and implementing.

Get to work!
Steve
##

In all honesty, I cannot improve upon what Napoleon Hill did in connection with the "fourth principle," money! But as for the rest...The 101 PROGRAM is the "Think and Grow Rich" concept applied to body, mind, and spirit .

100% FREE copy of the world's best, and all-time best-selling self-improvement book, THINK AND GROW RICH.
www.diamondhour.com

What's the secret?

On Day 55 of the 101 program, I mention one of the most important things you can do, to DOUBLE your chance of reaching your goals.

What is it?

Well, it isn't re-writing your goals every day (although you should). It isn't rewarding yourself every time you reach a goal (although you should). It isn't dividing your goals into bite-sized "chunks" you can get done on a daily basic (although you definitely should!)

What is this secret? And you know by now that I LOVE secrets...have searched the world for them, spent forty-five years and countless thousands of dollars seeking them...

The secret is

Find at least one person to share your dreams with.

There it is. If you have a single friend, or mate, or relative you can talk to about your hopes and dreams, brainstorm with...one person who "has your back" and will encourage you and remind you of your commitments, you DOUBLE your chances of reaching your goal.

What if you don't have such a person? We've got you covered. This is why we set up the 101 Board for students, where they can share their ambitions, fears, and concerns, and get supported 100%.

No excuses. Create goals in all four arenas of your life. Re-write them daily. Work to raise your energy level. And find at least one precious person with whom to share your hopes and trials.

Live your dreams!

Steve

###

The 101 Program has its own support group. Order your copy today, and share the wealth!

Dead Broke? No Problem?

The sixth step in building an online "store" that has the capacity to reach a worldwide audience is to find affiliate products. Now, it is important to listen closely: this means that you don't need to have a product of your own. You don't even need a website. What you need is a deep sense of what YOU are excited about, find a group of people who are also excited, and find a product or service that you yourself use and love. Then you can HONESTLY recommend it to others.

Once you find such a good or service, you can approach them directly and ask if they have an affiliate program. Or you can go to a site like "Clickbank" and search to find products with affiliate programs. Sign up, and they will give you a personalized link.

Here's a scenario for you: you are dead broke. You love, say, chocolate. You Google affiliate programs and find your favorite chocolate confections, sold on Clickbank. Sign up, get a link. Now. Start a blog about chocolate, "Steve's Chocolate Blog." You're dead broke, unemployed, so you have lots of time, right? All you have to leverage is your time and energy. So every day you post articles on your blog talking about wonderful things about chocolate, and on that blog, you put your affiliate link. NOTE: NONE OF THIS HAS COST YOU A DIME.

Now. You spend a full eight-hour day (or as little as one hour...or as much as twelve. How much time do you have? How desperate are you to build a business?) googling "candy blog" or "chocolate blog" or other things, and you find a "starving hive" of chocoholics and blogs and discussion groups. And you read them, and post intelligent, useful comments. Funny comments. NEVER "spam" by just dropping a link. Give them value. Give them your heart. Share your love of delicious chocolate with no more than about fifty words. Shouldn't take you more than five-ten minutes per blog post.

With every post, add a link back to YOUR blog. Traffic will follow. On your blog, sing the honest praises of the affiliate product, and talk glowingly (AND HONESTLY) about your experiences with it. People will buy, if they believe you. NEVER LIE.

If you are self-published, then this is more complicated: you have to have a way to deliver your product to the customer, either digital download or mail. And how to set up and take electronic payments. You will have to research how to do these things...Google is your friend.

You will make sales. Checks will begin to arrive in your mailbox, or Paypal account. And you have invested NOTHING but time. You didn't need a product, or a web site. You have just learned the secret of making money online, using nothing but your passion, your time, and your energy. If you don't have internet you can manage your blog from a library or friend's house.

This works. You can bootstrap yourself from homelessness to a multi-million dollar business, just by starting here, and committing to learn one new thing about sales, marketing, and the Internet marketing revolution every day.

Every word I've posted here is true. I've invested thousands of dollars of time and money learning this over the last twenty years, and I've decided to give it away because people are hurting, and I want to give ANYONE with the will to earn a living the chance to take a shot at this.

Almost two billion people are on the internet. Only a few thousand people know how to actually make money on it. I've laid out the simplest way I know, requiring no investment, no computer skill, and nothing but honesty and passion.

Good luck!

##

Your ability to use this pattern, or any pattern of success, will be based on many factors, including your ability to set clear focused goals, maintain high energy through emotional depression, and shut out the negative voices (external and internal) that are GUARANTEED to devil you. The 101 PROGRAM contains everything you need to focus, harness, guide, and nurture yourself to any goal your heart can hold. The internet makes it possible to find a market for anything you want to sell, related to any interest you genuinely possess. I am totally committed to your success. Are you?

Steve

The world does not pay for what a person knows. But it pays for what a person does with what he knows.

~Laurence Lee
www.diamondhour.com

World Peace...for fun and profit!

Philosopher Steven Pinker recently

asserted that violence has been

DECREASING worldwide for hundreds

and thousands of years. Yippee! We're

winning! No matter how it seems,

we're just bonking each other over the

head less than we used to, and that is

wonderful.

How can you be a part of this worldwide

movement..?

Well, I say that it's communication.

Knowing yourself, speaking your truth,

being the example of possibility in

the world. And with the explosion

of the internet, another possibility

arises...world-wide commerce.

Selling goods and services around

the world. Think about it: a

cell in your body exchanges

gasses and nutrients with the

surrounding cells and tissues.

So long as it does this, it is a

peaceful, healthy, productive

part of your body, as opposed

to an invader or cancerous

threat.

Let's be "healthy cells" in the body

human!

So we've talked about how to

take your dream and transform

it into a stream of income.

The first steps:

1) Start with passion

2) Find a "starving hive"

3) Create a squeeze page with an

"Irresistable offer"

4) link an autoresponder

O.K? The next step is to

5) Create a sales page. You can

do this on a separate page linked

to your blog. It can be very very

simple, or contain some bells

and whistles, but as on the 101

PROGRAM "sales page," it lists

the benefits of your product, offers

testimonials of its value, and gives

the shopper a chance to purchase.

I would suggest an information

product in the specific narrow

niche in which you are an expert

--these are downloadable, and can

be delivered worldwide in seconds!

More tomorrow!

###

The single greatest factor for your

success will be you own focus,

energy, clarity, drive, and ability

to handle fear. Yep, that old

devil fear will cripple your dreams

faster than everything else combined.

The 101 PROGRAM will put

you on the road to total

self-mastery in just three months!

"(with the 101 Program) I lost twelve pounds over the

last three months..!" Peter Schult

The next evolution in personal power!

Steve