VSAA and Lifewriting

I am deeply touched by the notes from the VSAA students, and watned to bring all of this back around to the major point of this blog.  Yes, I talk about what I see in the world, but it's all in the service of helping to explore the thought patterns of one obsessed with balance (that's me).  Male/female, black/white, right/left, etc.  And, most importantly inside/outside.  It is the task of the artist to find a way to connect the inner and outer worlds.  The inner world of the soul, the emotions, the heart, and the outer world of skill and commerce and communication.  There is simply no substitute for the daily deepening of this connection, and the daily commitment to both truth and the path ahead.  I'm going to be starting a seven-part series about this connection in just a couple of days, but thought it important to explain why this is the most important thing you can do.
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There are no guarantees in life, or art.  Tomorrow is not owed us.  Therefore, we must live every single day as if it is the last day we will ever have.  Our friends, allies, and loved ones each stand at the center of their own worlds, seeing everything in existence from their own perspective.  In order to honor them, we MUST grasp that their hopes, dreams, and pains are not so different from our own.  Only such an understanding allows each and every one of them to be unique and beautiful in her own way.  Only this can motivate us to dig beyond the easy answers, and find the difficult truths. Can keep us working late at night and get us up early in the morning, eager for another day of rigor. Only a deep and abiding love for our own potential, and the ability to see ourselves in the audience, the consumer of our work, can we address commerse without prostituting ourselves.  The world is us. Art is the spiritual blood of the world.  We must create, or die.  We must tell the truth of our own existence, or our lives are in vain. We must lift up our fellows, or be lost in the abyss, alone forever.
We must create.  We must tell the truth. 
We must, or lose ourselves, forever.

Vancouver School of Arts and Academics

Last week I had the honor of lecturing at the School of Arts and Academics in Vancouver, Washington.  I have to tell you that it is a slightly disorienting experience, walking in through the front doors and watching kids line up to play classical music on a hall piano.  Susan, my contact, has been there for over ten years, and can remember only one fight.  Kids smile and hold hands as they walk through the halls, and this grade 7-12 school is, in many ways, the very best I have ever seen.  Classes in dance, music, performance, video and art braid with traditional math, history, and science.  It's like an episode of "Fame" come to life.  I understand that this is special, a "magnet" school that kids compete to get into, but the aura is so darned positive, the kids so eager to learn, that it makes me wonder what would be necessary to give more kids this opportunity, to lift more institutions of learning to this level. 
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I have to think that a major reason that VSAA is so successful is that the kids want to be there.  They can visualize a future in the arts, and understand that this school is helping them move along their road of Trials.  That the teachers are their Allies, offering opportunities to refine their Powers and abilities.  That perspective is missing in most educational experiences.  In most cases, the kids are there because their parents told them to go.  the students have on ly the vaguest sense of how their studies will translate to real-world happiness and success.  "Just do it," we tell them.  And the parents who tell them to go are not in jobs that make them happy. Their teachers often aren't happy, feelign underpaid and overworked.  What exactly do students have to be happy about?
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If you are the parent of a high school kid, the best thing you can possibly do is find contentment in your own life, to be workign toward your own dream.  Then, and only then, will your children feel that if they follow in your footsteps, if they listen to your words, they have an excellent chance of fulfilling their deepest dreams.  It is when we feel we are "becoming" that we are happiest and healthiest.  It is then that we can teach, and parent, when we can legitimately say "follow me" and mean, with every fiber of our being, that it is possible to be the Hero in the adventure of our own lifetimes.  This is Lifewriting...this is everything that I've been teaching for the last decade.  Those kids at VSAA can see their future in front of them, and know that it is bright, and that every step they take is bringing them closer.  That is why they sing in the halls.  That is why they smile, and why they are so easy to teach.  Their teachers love to teach. Their parents support their dreams.  The way ahead is clear.
Don't all our children deserve as much?  Don't we all?

Are Cops Bad?

Not from my point of view.  They do tend to be high-Alpha types who see the world in slightly black-and-white terms.  And like anyone who deals in a world of victims and predators, they tend toward a bleak view of the world.  but I believe that most of them started out wanting to protect "their" community.  And here is where things can go wrong, racially.  Stress these guys out, and their real feelings--not the socially constructed politeness--comes to the surface.  These beatings we've seen are, I have to think, examples of the way high-testosterone types would love to treat each other, if that pesky law didn't get in the way.  Yes, it's brutal, and sometimes deadly, and reprehensible.  But there's a reason why there are referees and judges in every sport, and penalties for fouls.  These aggressive types will break rules.  They play by instinct.  In a low-light environment, where they have a fraction of a second to act, they will act according to their deepest psychological leanings...much like people deciding what movie they'll see or won't see.  So, just as one measure of social equality and real healing will be when black men can have sex in movies, and it doesn't hurt the box office, another, more dreadful sign will be when one is equally likely to see black cops beating white perps as white cops whooping on black perps. 
This is, quite purely, a matter of cultural privilege, to be able to see and feel oneself the center of the universe.  OF COURSE this is an unenlightened point of view, but virtually by definition, few people are enlightened--if there were more of 'em, the world would be a better place.
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Maslow's Heirarchy of needs--and the Chakras--suggest that until lower needs are satisfied, you can't (or are less likely to)evolve on to the higher levels.  Little white boys and girls can believe they are safe, and protected, and special, and the center of the universe at a far higher rate than non-whites.  This gives them a foundation upon which to develop healthy emotions, and security, and move to a higher level, where compassion, love, creativity, intellectual freedom, and spirituality can be found.  Without this foundation of egotistical self-love, it is difficult. The ego of babies, that balance of helplessness and "I am God!" is legendary.  Yes, this is primarily the responsibility of the parents. Yet and still, every culture on this planet  plays "secondary parent" providing vast amounts of feedback saying "yes!  you are special!" and the children see that reflected back to them from every direction.  At its best, this provides a foundation for maturity.  At its worse, it produces egotistical monsters.  Cops live in a twilight world, and are both some of the most aggressive among us, and walk in an environment most likely to trigger that latent aggression. Just as a culture can be measured by the way it treats the most helpless, it can also be measured by the transgressions of the most powerful.  While I don't measure all cops by the actions of a few, I have never known A SINGLE BLACK COP who didn't talk privately about the culture of racism in his department.  What?  Not a single one?  could they ALL be wrong? But then isn't that saying that all white cops are racist?  Or all whites?  No, back up for a moment.  What is really being said is that racism lurks in the human heart, and among the most aggressive--the very ones we need the most, at certain times and situations--this tendency is not only common, but damned near necessary.
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Several of the readers talked about the anger they feel around cops.  Don't you get it?  What you are actually experiencing is fear, and your mind converts it to anger so that you won't be paralyzed.  Anger is better than fear, peace better than anger, love better than peace.  It is a step in the right direction.  But you'd better grasp that those cops are in terror of those black people.  Terror. And the anger and violence they project is their defense from their own weakness.  And they are afraid, and have been afraid for 400 years, knowing what would happen if the social roles were ever reversed.  Black culture has been astonishingly forgiving (the non-violent Civil right movement in America.  The "Truth and Reconciliation" trials in South Africa) but that is, in part, because more violent action simply wouldn't have succeeded as well.   I maintain that what we face in these cops is what we are--both angels and killer apes.  If we own both, we will never be surprised by our behaviors, the children can be safe, and we can keep our eyes on the way ahead.  But if we believe we are angels, we will be continuously surprised by the horrendous actions of a few still mired in the muck.  And if we think human beings are merely killer apes, we nurture the capacity for brutality in the Nth degree whenever the cameras are off.  It is in accepting both ends of the Chakras that we understand ourselves, can heal our wounds, can forgive ourselves and others. 
But remember--forgiving does not, and has never implied forgetting.

On Copyrights...

SF giant John Varley sent me this link.  The idea of someone telling me that I can't protect my own work, which feeds my family, makes me far beyond angry.  Perhaps you guys can offer a perspective on this matter.  To me, the fact that technology makes it easy to steal doesn't justify the theft.
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http://www.commondreams.org/views05/1008-24.htm

Beaten New Orleans Man...

http://www.voanews.com/english/2005-10-10-voa30.cfm

The above link will take you to one of the articles, dealing with an allegedly drunken 64-year old black man beaten by several cops, apparently without resisting. The cops went on to abuse a news crew producer.  All are under suspension.  I think that boths apologists and activists can ave a field day, talking about exhausted police pushed past ordinary human limits, etc.  And activists talking about a pervasive climate of racial oppression.  I sympathize with both points of view, but...
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Is it just me, or is it odd that I've NEVER seen comparable video footage of, say, several black cops beating the hell out of a white perp?  How in the hell, statistically, could that be avoided? I can't believe that news crews wouldn't want to tape it.  Are they just smart enough not to beat a white person with the camera rolling?  Are we to believe that white people simply don't act in amanner that would make a reasonable cop beat his head in?  Or that only white cops are racially corrupt, or what?
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The Lifewriting position on all of this is that, from the beginning of our country, white police officers have not only had permission to do this, but have been subtly encouraged by a lack of criminal penalties.  During slavery and the following Jim Crow days, it was simply business as usual--a way of keeping the serving class in its place.  Following slavery, there was a need to keep the social order as tightly controlled as possible--both to protect the economic and social order, and to prevent any thought of retaliation for 300 years of oppression. The mythology that blacks were less intelligent and moral was necessary to justify the economic institution, and outlived slavery itself...it remains woven tightly into the popular culture (I remember an Encyclopedia Britannica article from about 1945 stating this explicitly.  Man, what a bummer THAT was to read!).  Look at popular culture--remember that sexuality in film conversation we've been having?  That only white men get to engage in reproductive activity, and that if you cross that line you risk your box office?  That's a direct relation to the same phenomenon.  Used to be that you could be certain that the black guy would die--an extraordinarily honest expression of this same urge.
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What do I think goes on here?  I think that whites are subtly and not-so-subtly taught, from the cradle, that they are the lords of the universe, and that all other groups are less than them.  Now, there's nothing particularly startling or evil about this.  EVERYBODY tells their children this...in a natural situation.  But black Americans have been programmed for 400 years to think they are less-than, and to be very, very careful about their interactions with white people.  No black cop would think he could beat the hell out of a white man without risk of prosecution.  Not ever in American history could a black cop have been naive enough to believe this.  But white cops have been told this, and shown this, forever.  Black Americans have screamed that cops bust their heads ever since emancipation, and America didn't want to believe it--or didn't care.  When video began to show it as a reality, there was a real disconnect.  I remember after Rodney King, there was a persistent rumor that there was additional video footage, repressed by the Liberal Media, showing King behaving like Conan the Barbarian, such that the cops wre acting out of mortal terror of this insane, gigantic, invulnerable black man.  Boy oh boy, do I remember certain white folks of my acquaintence clinging to THAT image, desperately trying to believe that the "Thin Blue Line" would never abuse its power, despite evidence from all over the world, probably going back to the first Roman Centurian who busted a Pict's head and received a pat on the back.  This is human nature, a natural expression of power in an unequal situation, and bless those news crews for forcing the world to watch.
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And so those cops, who would have been winked at a generation ago, are going on trial, and probably wondering what they did wrong, why everyone doesn't understand that that old man had no value, that that's the way you HAVE to treat "his kind" or you can't keep  "those people" in line. There is no place for attitudes like that, but I hope you can all understand exactly why this happens, and what it means for our own individual responsiblity to be vigilent.  Where in your life do you abuse your power?  Where do you allow yourself to put large numbers of people into groups and simply label them?   Where do you allow yourself to justify the immoral simply because you don't believe you'll be caught and punished? 
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And to relate all of this to writing, who can't see the material for a good book or story in this?  As cultural mores change, the high-testostrone Alpha-males who patrol our streets and fight for us tend to make snap decisions under high stress and with little sleep.  In essence, they become what we really are, not what we want to believe ourselves to be.  They treat those Iraquis like the sand niggers so many people whisper of under their breaths.  They beat the heads out of old porch monkeys, and brag on the radios about "big time use of force tonight."  They are us.  Don't turn away.  Unless you heal the holes in your own hearts, unless you take responsibility for your own guilt and pain, you too will be part of the mindless, marching, hateful hordes who have perpetuated racism and war throughout human history...all the while wondering why you get a trial instead of a parade.  We are  the guards at Abu Gharib.  We are the cops in New Orleans. 
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I hope they get the book thrown at them.  I hope just as hard that we can see ourselves in their faces.  If not, we'll simply spawn a newer, subtler generation of hate-mongers.  They are us.  Hope to God they're not our children, as well. 

The Constant Gardener

A phenomenal, how-did-they-get-that-made type film starring Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz as a British diplomat and his activist wife thrown into the economic/political maelstrom of contemporary Africa.  My wife's first reaction was that she didn't want to see it, that it, like "The Interpreter," would end up being another film about Africa with no Africans in it, something we both find rather offensive.  But that isn't true.  Africa herself is an important character, and her people, in all their various nobility, brilliance, ignorance, and poverty, are central. Based on a novel by John Le Carre, "Gardener" seems to be almost a documentary, dealing with pharmaceutical companies making vast profits off shoddy drugs in Africa, and willing to kill to protect secrets.  And those secrets...wow.  And the director, damned near one-upping his fabulous work on "City of God," stole scenes in one of the poorest and most intimidating ghettos I've ever seen, creating a sense of reality that takes hold and won't let go.  This is an important film, part of a collage of early 21st-century wealth and power as the 3rd World scrambles for its share of the pie, and Industrialized nations strive to develop a conscience.  Heartbreaking and ultimately deeply troubling, offering no easy answers and a slightly pat ending, Constant Gardener is ultimately a love story...between a man and a woman, a woman and a continent, and  an audience and a bleak vision of post-Colonialism.  Wow.  Give it an "A"

Rewriting

"...at what point do you think a new writer should begin to focus on rewriting?"
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Here is the process:
1) Write a first draft in Week #1.
2) Write a second story in Week #2.
3) Write a third story in Week #3.  Polish Story #1 as well.
4) Write a fourth story in Week #4.  Polish Story #2...
and so on. 
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This process is designed to burn the basic story elements into your subconscious at a very deep level indeed.  the week-long gap between 1st draft and rewrite enables you to "cleanse your palate" and  approach the story with fresh eyes.
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But specifically, you can concentrate on re-writing at any time.  Just don't neglect that original writing as well.  You are all autonomous, free, thinking human beings and can take actions contrary to my suggestions any time.  If you felt it was critical, you could take a week and practise re-writing.  But I would seriously suggest writing 1st draft three days a week, and re-writing 2-3 days a week, alternate days.  Let one part of your brain rest while you work other aspects.  This can work spectacularly well, allowing me to produce large amounts of finished work with a minimum of stress.  And excellence comes only from volume work, performed with an eye to constant improvement.  So it is important not to get "stuck" at any level of the process.  For you fiction writers, remember:
1) Write a story a week, or a story every other week.
2) Put them in the mail
3) Keep them in the mail until they sell.
4) Don't re-write (again) except to editorial request.
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A time will come when you feel you have a story that needs deeper re-writing.  If you have confidence that taking the additional time isn't a distraction from your production scedual, then go right ahead.  But be careful--endless re-writing is just procrastination, masquerading as quality control.

The Rewrite Process

I'm in the final rewrite for Great Sky Woman, and what I see is tht I have many of the pieces, the overall flow is only intermittantly free and deep.  The trick now is to look at what is missing: deep character, increased sensory awareness, thematic elements woven smoothly, poetics of imagery and language...there is just so much to do.  So here's are three things to think about in the middle of rewriting:
1)  What is the end of your story?  Remember that the meaning of a piece can be found in its ending.  That being true, what does every other scene add to the impact of this ultimate moment?
2) What is your thesis?  What are you trying to say in this piece?  Remember that you don't start by trying to make a point.  Just tell the story honestly.  A theme will emerge in retrospect.  Once you have it, strengthen it.  Never state it directly, but play with it as motivation and counter-motivation for your characters and the actions within your universe.
3) Look at your characters.  Do  they form a balance in your mind?  Can you see them all as aspects of some cohesive whole, pieces of a puzzle or stars in a constellation?  If you can sense some kind of unity between the characters, it is easier to see where they fit in your world, and fine-tune their attitudes and dialogue.
4) Listen to your language.  The words themselves, and the successive sensory impressions.  What kind of emotional cascade do they create?  You want to guide the reader's mind with a poetic flow designed to evoke emotional response.  It is one of your most important tools.  

Tananarive returns today

She's coming in at LAX at about 4.  She'll take the limo in, so I'll see her at about 5:30.  Can't begin to say how glad I'll be to see her!  Bet Jason will grin until his head falls in half.
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It is very, very difficult to express how much it means to me to have a partner like T.  She is simply perfect for me at this phase of my life, and I pray that that doesn't change.  I doubt it will--we have a kid to raise, and our values on that issue are pretty darned similar.
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More importantly, I feel so relaxed and confident that I've found the woman who expresses the best part of myself.  Sure, we both have flaws, but our strengths are complementary in the very best way, and that is what makes this so incredible.  It is so painful to listen to people thrashing around in the outer darkness of dating hell, or marriage purgatory, unable to see themselves clearly, and therefore find their way to the light.  They blame their partner--or the opposite sex in general, because they are afraid to look more deeply at the fact that it is their choices that created their lives, and their lovers--or lack thereof--are direct mirrors of their own being.  If you want different people to be attracted to you, you have to mirror the essence of your ideal man or woman.  You have to heal yourself--a relationship should be a union between two autonomous human beings, not a co-dependant two-step between wounded beasts fanging and clawing each other in the tar-pits of love.
It's awful to watch, especially when one or both lack the honesty requisite to prevent finger-pointing.
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Life is so damned short, and love is so damned precious.  Can't wait to see her!

The Core of the Matter

Daughter Nicki had a fender-bender Saturday night, and her left shoulder was sore, come workout time.  I've been having her work on Coach Sonnon's Eclipse series (more on this later), and she wasn't able to stress her left side, although she WAS able to continue the exercise for the full twenty minutes. This is a good thing.  The next exercises I'd set up for her were a series of double kettlebell exercises.  This is all from an article that Steve Maxwell wrote for Pavel, and its designed to produce "Power Endurance" for mixed martial arts types.  I also figure it will jack up her metabolism something fierce:

1) Double Snatch
2) Double clean and push-press
3) Front Squat/Push Press
4) Clean and Squat
5) Deadlift Squat Thrusts (sort lof like burpees with a KB in each hand.  Wicked!)

Anyway, you're supposed to perform an exercise for 30 seconds, and then rest for thirty seconds, then go on to the next one.  When you've completed all five, rest for 60 seconds and begin again.  this is a killer series.  At any rate, her shoulder bothered her too much, even when we went to a smaller bell on the left side. 
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So I switched gears completely, and had her work on abdominals. The KB is excellent for a lot of very odd and painful abdominal exercises.  And this is great, because if there was just one part of your body you had time to work, it should be the abs.  Why?

1) When your abs look great, the rest of your body tends to look good as well.
2)  Aids digestion
3) Aids posture, thereby increasing energy
4) Great for sports--all power is transferred from the lower to the upper body by various abdominal muscles.
5) Protects your back.  Most people with bad backs have weak abdominals.
6) Increases strength.  Lifting strength is produced by intra-abdominal pressure.  The more powerfully you can contract these muscles, the stronger and safer you can lift.
7)The abdominal muscles can be worked laying down, standing, sitting, driving, walking.  They are perfect for the "Five Minute Miracle" approach.
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anyway, I expect that Nicki's abs will be sore as hell this morning.  Can't wait to wake her up and hustle her to yoga!

A terrific review of Serenity by Orson Scott Card

http://www.hatrack.com/osc/reviews/everything/2005-09-30-extra.shtml

I think he liked it.

The Genius Zone

A note from a student--
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I also finally caught up on your blogs, adding my two-cents worth on a few of your topics.  But there are two things I wanted to personally write to you about.  First, I wanted to thank you for your suggestions on how to strengthen the poetics side of my "writer's triangle."  Every day, I've been reading a poem aloud, writing a poem and writing 1000 words of fiction a day.  The reading part started off on a humorous note. The first day I put this ritual into practice, I took my Riverside Shakespeare (which contains all of his works), spun it around and randomly pointed at a section of the book.  I opened this tome, looked down and discovered that I had chosen the last scene from the last act of the most emotionally draining play he had ever wrote: King Freaking Lear!!!!  "Howl!!  Howl!!!  The Bard is going to kill me!!!!"  Ha, Ha.  Still, I attacked that scene as I do with my writing and with each passing day, the creative flow is slowing returning.  I'm even going to apply some of my poetry to a couple of my stories.  We shall soon see.  Again, thank you for helping me back "on the road again."  :))
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You're very welcome, Peter.  You'll remember that my theory is that one hour out of every day belongs to you.  In this hour, you can get your basic exercise (20 minutes three times a week can cover the very basics, if you're smart enough), meditation, reading, even writing (30 minutes a day can produce 3000 words a week if you separate flow from editing).  But one of the most important things is your reading.  This is the source of poetics--the way words, images, and themes interrelate to guide the mind in a fluid, dreamlike fashion.  This usually isn't  the domain of conscious thought, except in re-write.  The key is to read material which is bettter than you intend to write--in Peter's cas (and mine) that would be Shakespeare.  The Bard is on almost everyone's list of best English-language writers, and based on several reasonable criteria, has a shot at being Best writer of all time (number of languages work translated into , number of cultures who have adopted his work into their own theater and film, centuries of popularity, translation into different forms and genres, etc.)  I treasure my daily Bard, even when reading something like Pericles, Prince Of Tyre, which frankly sucks.  Yuckka. 
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My own Golden Hour is a Godsend.  Right now I'm listening to a Teaching Company CD on political theory, working with Coach Sonnon's Eclipse and Prasara (I'm also beginning to teach Eclipse to students.  I'm not sure, but it is possible that Scott has created something not only powerful, but VERY available to the average person--something that he hasn't quite done before now.  Interesting!), kettlebells (Steve Maxwell's Ab program, and a "power endurance" routine he created for Pavel) and silat.  Having a good time, and enjoying the game of seeing if I can plan a "perfect"work and workout week.  I'm never satisfied, but really entertain myself with the effort.

Well, have to take Jason to day care.  Tananarive's been gone for a week, promoting JOPLIN'S GHOST across the country.  Woman is a power-house, and can't wait to see her tomorrow night!

Serenity (2005)

Saw Joss Whedon's "Serenity" last night, and the news is mostly good.  Based on the cult fan favorite "Firefly" (which I never saw) this big-screen version does contain some tasty elements: nice interaction between the characters, some niftily choreographed hand-to-hand fight scenes, a couple of spectacular space battles, and a damned fine idea for a conspiracy.  On the negative side, it does bear a bit of that "blown up from TV level" look and feel, like a 16mm film blown up to project on a 70mm screen.  A little grainy, if you catch my drift.  The basic plot deals with the crew of the Serenity, a rag-tag bunch of thieves and smugglers living on the edge of a galactic Alliance and making their living any way they can.  Their Captain, "Mal" Reynolds (a fine Nathan Fillion) has accidentally taken on board a telepath with a deadly secret, River Tam (Summer Glau) who is herself a walking weapon.  She and Reynold's nemesis Chiwetel Ejiofor damned near stole the show, but I'm sure that for fans of the original series, a chance to see their favorite characters back in saddle overshadowed all else.  Look.  I'm not a fan, and there were definitely moments I was shifting in my seat, looking at my watch.  But it start well, ends well, and has a lot of fun in-between.  Probably the best "Space Opera" I've seen in a decade, really, with its own quirky sense of humor, and an off-centered style that kept me guessing.  That, some decent action sequences, a plot dealing with the need to keep "The Alliance" away from lethal little River, and some truly mischievous dialogue made me, ultimately, like this a lot.  Give it an A- for Space Opera fans, a B for moviegoers in general.  And I'd guess for "Firefly" fans--you hit the jackpot.

Five Minute Miracle

I'm going to be changign the format a bit very soon.  You'll notice that I rarely talk about the 5MM--that is rather deliberate.  I didn't want to be having political and philosophical discussions constantly intersperced with ads.  It would be very very easy for someone to say to themselves "he's just trying to make a dollar."  And that could lead someone to suspecting that I'm being other than honest on these pages. 
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Add to this the fact that I'm about to roll out the Lifewriting Year-long course.  You'll hear about it, and there will be a link to it from this page, but what you need to know is that I'll be working to create a separate stream of readers for that.  Yeah, I want to make money, but it's more important to me to continue these conversations.  So I'll be doing my level best to  put out everything I've been giving, plus more, and try not to specifically mention the products I sell--these communications are important to me.
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But, let's put this in a nutshell.  What is the Five Minute Miracle, and why is it important?  In general, we want certain results in life...like "feeling good" in some arena or another.  When positive emotions are attached to actions, then if we take those actions, we get the results.  Internally, we might not "understand our motivations" or have internal conflict, or whatever, but if you can take the actions, you will get the results.  In yogic psychology, it is said that you can awaken the kundalini from the heart out, or the body up, but never from the mind down.  The conscious mind just isn't very reliable.
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But if you can change the way you breathe under stress, you will change your body's entire stress response.  If stress does not become strain, you will function at a higher level at everything you do.  The FIVE MINUTE MIRACLE was skimmed off the body of Soviet research expressed in fabulous detail and depth in Coach Sonnon's various teachings.  It is a very specific breathing technique teaching you a different way of relating to breath.  This is critical, because breathing, as the only process which is both conscious and autonomic, is the door to the unconscious mind.  Then, by practising the technique for sixty seconds multiple times a day (hence the title) you are literally re-programming the way your body/mind connection operates.  The effect is startling.  There is simply no other investment of five minutes a day that could even vaguely come close.  You can aid your digestion, flatten your stomach, reduce stress, and improve posture...all with this simple exercise.  It works remarkably well, and the concept has become foundational to my teaching.  If you haven't picked up your copy, do it, and today.  There's a 100% money-back guarantee, so there is no risk at ALL.  Go ahead--check it out now!

Elephants and Kick-Ass opportunity

My "elephant" metaphor was taken a bit too literally.  Or, perhaps not literally enough.  Saying that elephants at the zoo only have a rope around them is EXACTLY my point.  That the elephant doesn't know it is freer than it is, doesn't understand its own strength.  When you look at the degree to which blacks have, for instance, accepted white beauty standards, you'd grasp my meaning.  If you talk to your grandparents about how they had to avoid direct confrontation with whites, even if the law was supposedly on their side, you'd grasp what I was saying. The "bad software" comment has to do with the fact that, after studying success for forty years, I honestly believe that there are thought patterns that create opportunity, and those that minimize it.  When I find white OR black people with those positive patterns, they are far more likely to be doing well.  When I find white OR black people with the negative patterns, they are far more likely to be doing sucky.  I find that wisdom about success in any culture that has had an opportunity to really develop--and anthropologically, it takes hundreds or thousands of years of isolation to create a "culture."  Black American culture bears little resemblance to African culture--ask any African.  Or travel to Africa yourself, and you will feel the difference, believe me.  To make a slave, you have to convince them that they can't get away, that they have no control over their bodies, that their masters are untouchable.  To do this, a gigantic effort, generations long and employing vast amounts of political, military, economic and legal obstacles to keep those people under control.  This was followed by another hundred years of Jim Crow.  Sorry, but you can't beat someone over the head for generations and not leave damage. ANY people would be hurt by all of that--we'd have to be superpeople not to, and last time I noticed, kryptonite has no effect on black folks.  So  yes, I believe we are incredibly strong.  Yes, I also believe there was real damage done that is taking generations to undo.
##
Advantages to being the descendants of slaves?  Black Americans are the wealthiest, most powerful black people in the world.  Africans clamor to get here, and there is no other country in the world with the same degree of immigration pressure.  While Africans rather pitied my lack of knowing my name, my ancestors, the language of my fathers, or indeed my mixed blood, they were in awe of my wealth and opportunity. 
##
If you accept the basic tenant of "Guns, Germs, and Steel"--and I do, then there were very real, non-genetic reasons why Europe was able to "take" Africa and not the other way around.  And those reasons prevented certain types of social organization from spreading widely, as well as certain accompanying technological development south of the Sahara.  The differential in social development made it possible, when Europe came in contact with Africa, for the rape to begin in earnest--and more importantly, for Europeans to harvest the children of Africa damned near like a crop.  If the two levels of development had been closer (if sub-Saharan Africans had, for instance, developed and produced large quantities of rifles) there would have been a much more equal situation, and you would have had something closer to a real war, rather than a rape.  When those closer to equal meet, there is a chance for honest commerse.  Otherwise, the stronger simply takes the weaker, and usually has, through most of human history.
##
So, given the differential in levels of technological development, I see few opportunities for Africans to interact with Europeans in a "fair" fashion.  They could trade natural resources, perhaps, but that's asking Europeans to be "nice" and not take what they're strong enough to take.  People aren't like that.  Ultimately, I can't see the fate being much different than it was with the Native Americans.  "Nice land--we'll take it!"  Because I accept Jared Diamond's hypothesis, I have to ask questions about the likelihood that I would have been born into the class of those who immigrate.  If not, might I have been born into a relatively pastoral life?  Given my myopia and early prediliction for illness, I'd have been useless to my community, or dead by now.  What is the chance I would have traveled as much as I have?  Or know the people I know?  Or have done the things I've done?  In all likelihood, I would have lived the same life as my fathers and grandfathers...a satisfying life, and I can squint and see what that might have been and felt like.
And it feels good.
##
But I'm not that person.  I see the fact that people all over the world are dying (figuratively and literally) to get here, to replicate our success and lifestyle.  While in some ways this isn't a positive thing, in others it is understandable.  I'd say that it IS possible to compare the success of different civilizations, especially if you don't imply that the differences are intrinsic to the inhabitants. While many standards of wealth and power and many cultural goals vary, one thing pretty constant around the world is that we all love our children and want as many of them to survive as possible.  Hell, even infanticide is an attempt to control population so that it doesn't outpace resources, resulting in starvation for all.  And that means that Infant Mortality Rate is a great basic, fast-and-dirty measurement of a culture's success.  Western medicine has been GREAT at this, and I like it just fine.  Africans can't wait to go to western schools to learn it, and I don't wonder why.  And once they've learned it, they make innovations and contributions just like Europeans and Asians. 
##
My point of view?  Africa, the cradle of mankind, got screwed.  It wasn't set up geographically to develop certain resources (damn those zebras!  If they'd been domesticable, the history of Africa would have been completely different!). Sub-Saharan Africa was damned near as isolated as Australia, Melanesia, Polynesia or the Americas when it came to hooking into the Road of Silk, a primary vehicle for trade and information.  And the gap in development made its children vulnerable. Given that vulnerability, I see little that they could have done to stop that rape.  I look at Africa now, and for that matter the rest of the world, and consider myself incredibly lucky to be an American for a variety of reasons.  And if my ancestors suffered to bridge that thousand-year cultural gap, so be it.  So would anyone else.  I am standing on their corpses, and I try never to forget it.  I would dishonor them, and their suffering, if I didn't both acknowledge their involuntary sacrifice, and for God's sake TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT.  If they are watching me, I hope they know that they didn't die in vain, that I, and my children, and their children will reap the benifits, never take a backward step, and make this country offer up the incredible bounty of wealth  and power and freedom...while simultaneously reminding America from time to time that it ain't all that...that the "we're the best" attitude is one every culture has, that this is our time in the sun but that, indeed, the very concept of nations is, I think, on its last legs (I'll give it another couple hundred years max).  Yeah, I love being an American, and think this country has more kick-ass opportunity to create the life of your dreams than any other country that has ever existed.  And I think that if my ancestors hadn't been enslaved, I'd be less likely to be here.  I also know I would kill anyone--twice--who tried to do to my children was was done to my ancestors.  It was hideous, and reprehensible...and very, very human.  If we don't understand that aspect of human history, we are indeed doomed to repeat it.

The Shining

This is just brilliant...

     http://waxy.org/random/view.php?
type=video&filename=shining_redux.mov

Aborting Babies...a Modest Proposal

Just for the fun of it, I thought I'd propose a rebuttal to Mr. Bennett, and toss it out for you guys to criticize.
###
REALLY want to drop the crime rate? Abort all male babies.  Really, though, what I'm suggesting is that in large part blacks commit more crimes (proportionately) than whites for some of the same reasons males commit more than females.  Now, that reason (males-females) is generally considered to be a combination of physical (hormonal) and cultural factors.  Let's assume that the physical factors between whites and blacks are relatively constant.  Do the cultural factors change?  Let's look at the ones I can think of off hand...

1) poverty.  Certainly a stresser.  Men have much of their self-identity tied in with being "breadwinner".  Deny them an honest way to make money, and they seem more likely than women to resort to violence.  Increase poverty, and you increase crime--all other things being equal.
2)  Perception of unequal justice.  Someone who BELIEVES the justice system is unequal (whether or not it is) will be less likely to obey it.  Throughout most of our history, men get more time in jail, are arrested more often, and prosecuted more often for the same crimes women commit.  the same is true of poor versus rich, and black versus white.
3) Perception of unequal opportunity.  Get a white guy who believes "they" are in control and "they" kept him and his daddy down, and you certainly create an outlaw.  Since for 3/4 of black history in America this was a demonstrable, inarguable fact, even if one believed the opportunities are equal now (!), it is clear to see that cultural mythologies, which take generations to mold or break down, would lag behind reality.
4)Gee, I'm having fun.  How about cultural images?  If males are shown dying in film and books to "bring home the bacon" or "protect the homefront", and this affects behavior, then what are we to make of images of blacks?  They are clearly presented in most film and television prior to 1990 as second-class, subservient, violent and/or stupid.  From my own personal experience, I can tell you that this was beyond disheartening--it was an horrific betrayal of trust.  I was taught to love America, and it was clear America didn't love me. What do you make of that?  What happens when a young boy loves his father, and there is neglect, abuse, or conflicted emotion?  Violent and criminal behavior is often considered to be associated with such.  I suggest a social parallel to this psychological, family dynamic.  Not all abused children become abusers, but most abusers were abused.  Or so the theory goes.
###
Anyway, just doodling, and thought I'd throw that out.  At the very least, statistically, the proposal to abort all male fetuses is sounder than the proposal to abort black babies.  And if some left-wing feminist had proposed such a thing, even jokingly, it would be considered hateful, sexist, and anti-male. 

Thoughts?

Bennett and Cosby, sitting in a tree..?

"The Cosby comments reveal (to non-blacks at any rate) that a significant segment of the black middle and upper classes actively detest black working class men and women."
##
the above was offered by one of our honorable readers.  I would say it was more accurate to say that the reaction to Cosby comments revealed that some feel that a significant segment...etc.

I don't feel that Cosby's comment "reveals" that he detests anyone, although he may well detest certain behaviors, and there is a big difference.  I say this because I agree with his comments, and detest no one.  But I am deeply disappointed by certain behaviors.  I take the position that massive damage was done to black America by slavery (by the way--slavery also gave the descendants of those slaves some kick-ass opportunities, so I'm not looking for guilt here).  If that damage was done, you will find the evidence of it in either "software" or "hardware".  I'm betting "software."  How do you get an elephant to remain tied to a rail he can pluck up with a shake of his head?  You start when he is a baby elephant, and the conditioning will last.  How do you create a slave?  You impose helplessness upon them, make them dependant, in essence change a wolf into a dog, begging for scraps at the master's table.  Guess what, folks?  That conditioning is a bitch to undo, especially combined with the very real presence of institutionalized racism.  When I was growing up, it was evidenced in the black community (and still is to a degree) by phenomena such as:

1) Light skin or caucasian features being preferred.  "If you're white, you're right.  If you're brown stick  around, if you're black, get back."
2) Straight hair was, and still is, called "good" hair.  Yuck.
3)  After integration, upper-class blacks moved to whatever the best neighborhoods were, leaving much of the black working and lower-class stuck without role models.  Those left behind really were criticised as "trying to be white" if they studied, whereas previous generations fought and died for the right to earn their educations.  I was there.  I saw it happening.
4)  Poor and middle-class people everywhee tend to spend their money on perishable, depreciable items that lose their value instantly.  Those perishable, flashy items are often the only means of projecting status within a context of poverty.  These are the kinds of items Cosby was lamenting.
###
There is more.  Over and over again, I emphasize that I am looking at the behaviors of black (or other poor people) who work their way out, because that gives an individual the ability to change his life.  Not that society shouldn't help, but that experience shows that there is a real limit to what any society is willing to do.  And I'm not saying that the poor person is at fault for being poor.  I AM saying that they are RESPONSIBLE for being poor--just as every one of us is responsible for our own lives, a core teaching of Lifewriting that I can't change just because it hurts someone's feelings.  Years ago I used to work with a fine woman named Dawn Callan, who taught women's self-defence workshops.  She said that the hardest thing she had to do was convince a raped woman that she was responsible for her own safety, because the woman would instantly slide into guilt, blame, and shame about what has happened to her.  But ONLY if she accepts responsibility for her own safety can she have a prayer of preventing rape from happening to her again.  I KNOW how hard it might be to tell someone that they have responsibility for their poverty.  But responsibility means "the ability to respond" not "guilt for what happened.
##
I hold myself to these standards, but I have the same voices in my head that everyone else has.  And some of them say venomous things about my ability to reach my dreams.  Hell, no other black man has ever achieved what I want, who the hell do I think I am?  I simply have no power...
##
I CAN'T  let myself off the hook.  And if I believe that this is the way out, then the fact that racists also say something SIMILAR can't stop me.  I really, really, REALLY believe, based on a lifetime of study and experience, that
1) we must help each other to the limit of our strength.
2) We must help ourselves first, and act as if no one will come to save us.
##
This is, and has been, the core of my teaching and philosophy.  Damn near everyone who works their way out of poverty agrees.  Almost everyone still in poverty says it's someone else's fault--the most natural and human response possible.  I 100% beleive that whites, in the same situation, would behave the same way.  It has nothing to do with genetics at all.  But in all honesty I do believe the software is corrupted, and that a cultural re-boot would do a world of good for a lot of people.  America, as much as I love it, is insufficiently enlightened to undo the damage they did.  But then...who ever does?

steve

Racism

"What're your thoughs on what causes someone to deny they're a racist, but make statements like what Bennett says?"
--------
I think that most people define terms so that they, personally, look good.  Most people accept that racism is bad.  Most people also have some racist attitudes (I think).  So what happens is that their private definition of racism is something that excludes the attitudes of themselves and their friends.  Racism would be, by such definitions, hating black people.  "I don't hate black people, I just understand that they...aren't quite ready for the duties of democracy and civilization."  "I'm not sexist...I just believe that men and women have roles and they should stick to them."  "I'm not homophobic.  I'm not afraid of gay people.  I just believe they're sick."  You know the drill.
##
I think that this kind of thinking is so completely natural for human beings.  Every group thinks that they have the corner on what is good and right and moral.  Whether it's male-female, black-white, gay-straight, or whatever--the comments are always there, the superiority complex always raises its head.
##
I have a specific definition I use for "Race" as opposed, say, to "ethnicity" or "culture."  For the sake of simplicity (and understanding that it is over-simplistic), I'd say that you have three main racial groups--Caucasian, Asian, Negroid.  These are the primary colors of humanity, and you can make anything else out of blending and baking these.  YES THIS IS OVERLY SIMPLISTIC. YEP, YEP, YEP.  However, it makes sense of a lot of social phenomena.  Sure, members of two different ethnic groups can kill each other--but that's not the same thing.  Catholics and Protestants in Belfast could kill each other--that's ethnic and cultural, not racial.  Hispanics aren't a race.  They vary from Asian to African, with mixtures of everything else included.  Referencing back to my observations of sexuality in the movies, it is clear that, from an emotional perspective, whites consider Arabs   and light-skinned Hispanics to be "white" in the sense that white women being romantic with Antonio Banderas or Omar Shariff or Danny Thomas or Desi Arnaz causes no real problem.  Step a little further over to Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes or Denzel Washington, and suddenly you have a problem.  So light-=skinned Hispanics and Arabs are kind of "exotic white people" but still within the group, in terms of emotional perception.
##
I think that Bill Bennett said what a lot of people think.  Fine. Then have the courage to come out and say it, so that we know not to vote for you, so that we understand what you will do with the money in the public trust.  You have the right to your opinions, and we have the right to know who and what you really are, Bennetts of the world.  Come out of the closet.  Have the courage to defend your real positions, rather than hiding behind weasel words.  Deep, down inside, you don't think we're as good as you.  Fine.  Then show us your quality by starting with honesty.  Then at least we know who the enemy is.  An honorable enemy can be the next best thing to a friend.

Bill Bennett bears his soul

Well.  I suppose I'll have to deal with this one.  Bill Bennett, former Reagan Secretary of Education, said on his radio show this morning:

" I do know that it's true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could -- if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down. That would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down. "

Context might help a bit, but not much.  There it is.  Might I ask our more conservative readers how they might want me to interpret this?  My initial thoughts:

1) The crime rate would go a lot further down if you aborted all the white babies.  But I don't think he was speaking of absolute numbers, now was he?

2)  I believe no one would say such a thing, or indeed excuse such a statement, unless in his heart he believed the problem was intrinsic to race, biologically.  In other words, deep in his heart, he believes black people are intrinsically not the moral equivilent of whites. 
A person who felt that blacks are, statistically, more apt to commit and be arrested for crimes, but that that tendency is due to social conditions simply wouldn't have said something like this--even if they believed it to be true.  Such people tend to phrase things a little differently.

So, my conclusion is that deep in his heart of hearts, he thinks blacks are barely educable heathens.  The fact that he was Secretary of Education is terrifying--because he had the ability to determine how tax dollars would be spent.  A person who deep down thinks that blacks are less is also going to believe it is pointless to support programs to effect social and educational change because, after all, like THE BELL CURVE says, nothing can help. 

Am I reading this wrong?  Is there anyone out there who can defend these statements as anything other than a racist attitude (Racist: my definition.  A person who ascribes significant intellectual or moral differences to different racial groups.)

I would like not to be utterly enraged by the barely submerged venom in a comment like this.  Any thoughts besides the obvious.  God, I'm trying to be polite here, and I'm not feeling polite at all.

Steve

What will happen as you grow--WARNING!

the following is a letter from a student ("Mick") who has been dealing with deep, deep self-worth issues for years, and finally starting to actually process this stuff by pushing at all three levels.  Watch what happens:
THIS IS WHAT YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS WILL DO TO YOU AS YOU PROCESS THE POISON FROM YORU PAST
#########

I hate to keep bothering you with this stuff.  I know that you are busy
and have a million things going on, but I don't know who else to talk
to.  
You've explained that my subconscious is going to throw up the most vile
shit that it can while I am doing this.  I understand that, but I am not
prepared for what is happening now.  I am so damned confused that it
doesn't make any sense.

I've always tried to listen to my instincts and do what they tell me.  I
understand and have observed that they are almost never wrong about what
steps I should take.  Whats going on now is throwing me off.

My problem is with my wife.  When I look in her eyes I don't feel anything
any more.  I have been distancing myself from her without being aware of
what I was doing.  When we talk now we stay on safe subjects.  I don't
stray into the minefield like I used to.  I don't feel any pressing need
to work on the relationship.  I still do for her like I used to. 
I feel about as perfectly empty as a
person can.

I have contemplated divorce.  I find myself working out how I would get
back and forth to work, how I would need to have extra money coming in
to cover child support.  When I think about her sleeping with some other
man the usual panic feeling that I get isn't there.  As a matter of fact
there is no feeling at all.  We are up to a solid month between times
when we have sex.  I used to get upset because I wanted it more than she
does.  Now she gets upset because I don't approach her at all.  I don't
really miss it, either that or I've suppressed my desires to the point
where I no longer feel them.

She has pushed me so hard for her independence.  She wants to be able to
come and go when she pleases.  She doesn't want me to drive her anywhere
because she feels that this is just a way for me to control what she
does.  (Its based on fear for her, but she doesn't seem to see that). 

I understand that most of this is just idle thought, but its strong. 
And when I query my instincts I get no response.  Every time I sit down
and think about it, it occurs to me that in all of my daydreams,
fantasies, plans that I made when I was little, I was never in a
relationship with anyone.  In all of my internal fantasy I am alone and
doing things that matter to me.  No wife, no kids.  Just me on a
sailboat, or writing, or walking along the beach.

I feel so lost.  I am afraid to talk to her about this.  Her normal
response to any internal problem that I might have is usually anger
based.  She makes no attempt to understand, she just reacts.  As far as
she is concerned I should be okay as I am and happy with that.  She's
not happy the way she is, but she ignores it.  Thats why I won't work
out with her.  It's why I don't try to meditate with her.  She questions
every single move I make.  And then she gets upset when I won't make a
decision.  When I've asked her about it in the past she says that she
questions everything because she wants to be sure that I am sure about
my decision.  What she fails to understand is that I don't make a
decision until I have thought things through.  I am wired that way.  I
don't do ANYTHING without some contemplation.  That way I am comfortable
with my decision.  The result of her questioning me is confusion.  I end
up waffling and then she gets upset.

Like I said, some of this is idle speculation, but some of it is deadly
serious.  I always thought that she and I would be it for the rest of my
life and now I am considering my life just based on me and my kids.

I don't know what to do.  I sense that talking to her about this would
be a big mistake.  One of her favorite phrases is "I can do bad on my
own", basically implying that she wouldn't care if I did leave, she'd be
just fine.  Of course, all this does for me is reinforce one of my basic
molecular level beliefs that no woman has ever loved, needed, or wanted
a man in her life.  I'm not sure where this belief comes from, but its
one of the basic structures that my psyche is built on.  Way down deep,
in a place that I hate to admit exists, I believe that women only use
men to get security.  Other than that all men could die and women would
not miss them, so long as they can shop.

The problem with this thought is that it tends to skew my notion of
love.  I guess that I don't really believe that love exists.  I haven't
seen it.  I haven't truly felt it.  What I always thought of as love was
simply sexual attraction.  When the attraction faded, so did the
feeling.  This has been my experience as far back as I can remember.  I
watched my parents go through this.  I watched every married or single
friend that I have go through this.   Every failed relationship hammered a new nail into the belief.

I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to unload like that.  I wish there was someone
I could talk to.
###########
Mick--

all love for others begins with self lvoe, the awareness that we are precious, and worth whatever pain it takes to bring our true capacities to the fore.  The fact that there are biological necessities driving human relationships doesn't change the reality of love, any more than the fact we need food changes the fact that we love it.  Man and women SHOULD be independant, sutonomous beings who see, in each other, the possibility of greater completeness.  For years, your self-doubt has poisoned you, and your relationship.  Now you are actually beginning to process this stuff (Mick is meditating, working out, setting goals.)  As you break down the walls, you are going to crap pieces of brick, man.  It's as simple as that.  Keep your eyes on the goal.  Get clearer about what you want, in all three arenas. And in the spiritual arena, your most important goal is to LOVE YOURSELF.  Only then will you be able to really feel love for that magnificent woman of yours.  I've met her.  She is a gem.  She is waiting for you to step up to the plate and claim your humanity.  You're on the way, Mick--what you are doing takes both time and courage.  You have both.

Steve

Corpse Bride (2005)

I'd love to give this one an "A", but can't, quite.  Not as consistently wonderful as "The Nightmare Before Christmas" but still a visual delight as well as a touching, rather twisted love story, Tim Burton's latest stop-motion musical treat is the story of a young man (Johnny Depp) who accidentally proposes marriage to...well, you can guess.  Well, if the visuals, the voice work, and the story are all aces, why not an "A"?
Simple.  The music is second class.  Danny Elfman just missed it here.  I don't find myself humming a single tune from the film, and that is death for a musical.  And I might want to  write about the death of the musical some time...it seems that no one remembers how to make them.  Sigh.
##
At any rate, "Corpse Bride" is simply packed with eerie delights that look as if they might have been designed by Edward Gorey.  It also has a sweetness at the core that can't be resisted...ultimately, I enjoyed it just fine, but I would give just anything to have the creative musical team behind "Beauty and the Beast" or "Aladdan" back again.  Sigh.
Give it a "B."

Forrest Gump (1995)

As I prepare the new Lifewriting course (almost ready now!) I'm creating essays on 50 films.  This will enable the student to simply watch movies and absorb the core of the system while they enjoy themselves. 
##
Here's the first draft on one:
##
Forrest Gump is a tale of innocence, tested during thirty-five of the most turbulent years of American history.  Gump, a man of low normal intelligence (85) varies widely in his abilities depending on the needs of the writers, but this is a fable, not a documentary, a fact clearly established with the metaphor of a drifting feather, floating on the wind, finding the exact right place--the hands of a Forrest Gump, who will treasure it without question, and with a spirit of childlike wonder.  Make no mistake--the man is an idiot, and so described constantly in the script itself.  But he is also one of the best and purest spirits ever to grace a major motion picture screen.

HERO CONFRONTED WITH CHALLENGE:  What is Forrest's challenge?  In some ways he never changes, not a bit, even as the world changes around him fantastically.  He may not have intelligence, but he has phenomenal luck.  I would say his challenge is to survive a turbulent life with few gifts, and maintain his innocence.
REJECTS CHALLENGE:  No.  Forrest embraces every task placed before him.
ACCEPTS CHALLENGE: Armed with his mother's love and a perfect body-mind link (note the fantasy running abilities, as well as the perfect ping-pong coordination) he sallies forth unto life.
ROAD OF TRIALS:  Endless.  School, college, Vietnam, the Civil Rights era, the world of business.  On and on it goes.
ALLIES AND POWERS:  Lt. Dan, Bubba, Jenny (the love of his life, and perhaps even the metaphorical feather), his mother.  He has intuition, vast physicality, absolute courage, loyalty, a heart as wide as the horizon. 
CONFRONT EVIL-DEFEATED:  Forrest's only flaw is that he cannot win the love of Jenny, his childhood sweetheart.  Sexually abused by her father, she seeks out men who hurt her, and is incapable of seeing her worth.  Over and over again, Forrest tries to rescue her, but she won't take the lifeline.  The saddest moment, darkest moment is probably the morning after they finally make love, and she leaves him yet again.  The expression on his face is heartbreaking.
DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL:  Forrest is is most contemplative at this moment, and probably comes the closest he ever does in his life to giving up.
LEAP OF FAITH:  Forrest is what he is: a force of nature.  He cannot give up.  He is pure heart, and must be who he is, as he has been, without changing. 
CONFRONT EVIL--VICTORIOUS:  He finally marries Jenny.  Although it is too late for them to have a life together, there is a major victory for him...perhaps the most important of all.
STUDENT BECOMES THE TEACHER:  He and Jenny created a child together on that one night.  And the boy is smart.  Still, Forrest teaches him what he knows.  He may not be intelligent, but he knows exactly how to be a good human being.  And more importantly, he knows himself.

My Life and Goals part II

I first became interested in writing...God, I can't say.  I've always enjoyed telling stories (unimaginative adults called them "lies.") and tales of the fantastic always held my attention for some reason.  Possibly because ordinary life held pain for me.  Of course, pain in life is inevitable, so why this?  I can't really say.  Perhaps it was because I felt so excluded from the mythologies that my friends and culture embraced.  I do remember that my first story was called "The Yeti" and dealt with an abominable snowman in a Canadian lumber camp.  The hero's name was Bill Conway, a character I continued to write about through High School.  That first story was written in 3rd grade, I think. 
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I started by writing short stories and scripts and comic books--all kinds of stuff, whatever held my interest.  But all of it was adventure, or SF, or fantasy.  I read tons of adventure and SF/fantasy novels--all of the usual Tarzan and Conan stuff, plus lots of James Bond, The Saint, Mike Hammer, and so forth.  When I was in college I tried to stop writing for a couple of years, but then entered a writing contest where we read our stories to an audience.  I remember the expressions on people's faces when I read, and it touched something very deep inside me, and I decided to drop out of school and concentrate all my attention there.  NOTE: THIS WAS A STUPID DECISION.  I SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN COLLEGE.  Ah, well, live and learn.
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For years following this I wrote stories and sent them to be published.  At some point, probably when I was about 26, I decided that I was getting a bit discouraged, so I set myself a goal: 100 stories all finished and circulating to the various magazines, and I had no right to evaluate the success or failure of my efforts until I reached number 100.  That gave me a concrete end-point to aim at.
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About a year or so later, I decided to find a role model, a mentor.  I knew I was good, but I wasn't good enough to sell.  Something was missing.  So a friend's advice sent me looking for Larry Niven, who attended the Los Angeles Science Fantasy Society meetings in Burbank every Thursday night.  Larry graciously agreed to look at a story I'd written, and I subsequently convinced him to give me a shot as a collaborator.  NOTE THAT I'D ALREADY DONE MY HOMEWORK.  If I hadn't been able to show him polished work, I would have been blown out the door in my first encounter.
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Everything else came after that.  I listened to what he said, and did as he told me.  I did most of the lifting and carrying in those collaborations, because that was the way for me to learn most rapidly.
My first work with Larry, "The Locusts", was nominated for Best Novella in 1980.  Our next project was "Dream Park," my first novel.  By the time Dream Park came out, I had a dozen other stories in print.
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Niven and his great friend and collaborator, Jerry Pournelle, came to me with an idea for an SF horror piece suggested by an odd ecology lectured upon by genius biologist Jack Cohen.  They wanted me to work with them on a novelette based on this.
They'd just had a NY  Times #1 bestseller, FOOTFALL, and I knew I'd be an utter ass to do this as anything less than a novel.  I pushed for that, and to this day, Jerry thinks it was his idea.  Of course, maybe MINE is the misty memory...but that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Steve

My own life and goals--part 1

Some questions to spend a couple of days on. 
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For those of us interested in writing, it would be interesting to hear some specifics from your own life and background.

How did you first get interested in writing and science fiction? What steps did you take to become a published writer? Did you write a short story per week or did you immediately start writing novels? Did you have your first novel published or did you write a few "trunk" novels before you hit gold? How did the collaboration with Niven and Pournelle come about?

As a teacher, it would be interesting to hear about your own experience, successes, and frustrations along the way.
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How do you go about choosing goals? My first thought was that if you choose a goal which is impossible or destructive and give it that much motivation, you could get yourself into real trouble.
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STEVE'S ANSWER: 
I'll start with the last one first.  I look for the balance of body, mind, and spirit.  If I can't find a goal in one area, I'll "bootstrap" myself with the goal of finding a goal!  All goals must be in alignment with my values and beliefs (I constantly work at clarifying those) so it really isn't possible to have a destructive goal.  For instance, a goal of working out three hours a day would cut into my family time--not to mention destroy my body!  A goal of spending 80 hours a week working would be similar.  Each goal has to support the other two areas, see? 
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An impossible goal?  All of my goals have been accomplished by other people--although possibly not in the combination I choose them.  I wouldn't have a goal to "flap my wings and fly" although I might have one to "learn to hang-glide."  The second is possible.  If you mean "impossible" in terms of "I can't do it," well, Jeeze, I've had lots of those.  Failing to reach a goal doesn't kill you!  It teaches you about the territory you are traversing.  I deliberately choose goals bigger than I am when I make them.  That's part of the fun!

More later...

Steve

A History of violence (2005)

This latest film by horror master David Cronenberg is arguably his best film.  Certainly his most carefully measured film since "The Dead Zone," this tale of a small-town coffee shop owner (Viggo Mortensen) and his wife (Maria Bello) and investigates the way their lives are changed forever by an act of violence.  I'll say no more--the less you know, the better this movie is.  I'll say that the performances are top-notch (William Hurt is especially enjoyable, but Ed Harris is pure seething danger), the violence is savage, the sex is just great.  Yum.  And it all works as it should.  I could go way into my thoughts on this one, but I'd spoil it for people who haven't had the pleasure.  See it.  We'll talk later.

Steve

Triangle Control-Pause Goal Setting

Here is the "atom bomb" of goal setting techniques.  It is advanced, but some of you are ready for it, so here 'tis--
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Write well defined, written goals, with plans for their accomplishment.
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Visualize your "triangle goal" while meditating morning and night.  On the EXHALATION, while your lungs are empty, visualize that triangle, rotating between your physical, your mental (career) and your emotional/spiritual (meditating) goals.  As your body starts to protest the lack of air, lock in that financial goal HARD.  Think: "to earn my next breath, I MUST see this clearly." 
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Next, when exercising (and you should do some kind of exercise on a daily basis.  You eat every day, right?), visualize a triangle--this one the triumverate of breath, muscle movement, and skeletal alignment (structure).  As you move, note the way muscle and bone create breath.  Concentrate only on the exhale, allowing the inhale to occur passively.

NEXT, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY:  Five times a day, breathe for 60 seconds, and visualize that triangle as you do.
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Your unconscious mind will start to link your goal with the need for oxygen.  Motivation will be a thing of the past--you will have a STARVING HUNGER to reach your goal.  You had better the hell have a dream diary/meditation practise set up, because your subconscious will start to throw up oodles of crap at a rate you won't believe.  Every day work for greater clarity, and greater emotional intensity.  Keep breaking the goals down into smaller and smaller chunks, until you find a "chunk size" that you can actually accomplish in a day.  Then slowly, your tolerances will change.

Good luck, guys.  This is very, very serious stuff, and only for people who really want to change FAST!

The Quantum Jump

Just received this note from a student--
(Identifying characteristics have been changed, of course)
Call her "Bonnie"
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Hey Steve,

I need your advice on something.

I have reached a pretty major emotional or maybe mental barrier.  Almost
one year ago I started a business that I can run from home.  I think
that we talked about this before, or at least part of it.  

I have everything that I need to run a business.  Everything except the one crucial ingredient. 
The proper mindset.

It's frustrating.  I more or less know what I have to do to bring
customers in.  I have studied this stuff to death.  I know my niche
areas.  I understand the dynamics of being a business owner.  I've read
every book, pamphlet, leaflet or newsletter that I come across, but
every time I start to get my promotional packet together, or pick up the
phone I lock up.

My drive, desire and motivation evaporate.  None of the stuff that I
want (truly want) seems to be enough to get me started again.  Its
become a pretty vicious cycle.  I get motivated, plan for my next step
and then fall flat on my face when I start to move forward.  This has
lead to some pretty pathetic self loathing episodes.  Worse, I am
keeping whats happening to me from my husband.  There has been a lot of tension
between the two of us lately and I am not prepared to share my latest
failures with him.  I think that  he doubts me enough already.

I am still meditating, my mind is calm as it can get.  When it comes
time to do what I have to do I simply go blank.  Nothing seems to
matter.  I know that its not true.  What I am trying to do is paramount
to my ability to take care of my family, so it matters a great deal.  I
haven't been working out like I should, but I am (exercising aerobically)  every day.  My weight is down, I am watching what I am eating.  For the most part I feel pretty good inside, so I am
at a loss as to why this is happening.  It's just like running into a
wall that I cannot see, but I sure can feel it.  Worse still I am
concerned about what this is doing to my long term growth.  There are
times when I truly hate myself and the weakness within me.  There are
others who make their way in the world with a lot less fuss and muss.  I
refuse to give up trying, but like I said, its very frustrating.

Any ideas that I can use to tear down this damned wall?

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Dear Bonnie:

it's not "like a wall", it IS a wall.  That wall is the edge of your current self-concept.  It is made up of all the beliefs, values, experiences, monkey-voices, and images in your mind.  Your task will be to remember that THIS IS COMPLETELY NATURAL.  The voices in your head will try to weaken you by suggesting that this temporary problem is eternal and says something deep and meaningful about yoru capacities.  Nothing could be further from the truth. 

I am going to use your situation as an example for the next few days, because ALL of us hit this space. You are doing everything right.  Remember the 1% rule?  Well, you've gone as far as a straight-line 1% will take you, and have to back down a bit, rest, and get ready for the next step.
1)   Now that you are meditating, create a triangle in your mind.  Visualize it.  Put your desired body at one corner, an image of your desired career at the second, and yourself meditating at the third.  Clarify the images as much as possible.  For those who think they cannot visualize: what color is your car?  How do you know that?  You got a misty picture, didn't you?  That's the level of your visualization, not some razor-sharp photo perfect nonsense. 
2)  Write down your One year goals in body, mind, and spirit.  Be certain to read them every morning and every night.  NOW LISTEN:  Your task is to become familiar with the specific crap your mind throws at you.  Every time it gives you grief, WRITE IT DOWN.  No judgements.  Remember--it is just trying to protect you from the pain of failure.  Your assignment, should you decide to accept it, is to catalog the defenses.  Make a goal to call a client.  Set a time.  See how you stop yourself.
3)  Your task is to get as clear as possible on where you want to go (the goals) and the inner and outer resources it will take you to get there.  Yours are mostly emotional, Bonnie.  They start with self-love and self-acceptance.  You must never speak to yourself in a voice you wouldn't use to discipline, correct, and communicate with your own child.  You HAVE to love yourself--understand that you are dealing with very very real emotional stuff here, and without self-love and acceptance, you won't have the energy to transform.
4)  More diary work:  what are the values, beliefs, and emotional charges necessary to get to your goal?  How do these vary with what is currently floating in your head?  During meditation, see your goal, the last step of your goal--maybe depositing a big check, or sitting with your accountant as he shows you you have a net worth of 1/2 million dollars.  Can you see that?  If not, back off to a more modest goal, until you can see it.  Now back off to a point half way between then and now.  What is THAT step.  Can you see that?  Back off again, another half-way, in incremental steps, until you can see what is happening in three months, one month, one week, and tomorrow.  THIS IS SERIOUS, DIFFICULT WORK--and can change your life.  More on this later.
5) Every morning read your goals.  Every night read your goals.  Every morning visualize yoru goals, and GET PUMPED UP.  Charge them with emotion.  Visualize the as you exercise.  Write downt he emotional garbage that comes up for you.  Bonnie--if you'd use the discussion board to speak about what is happening to you, the other Lifewriting folks can help you, and you'd be helping them by opening the door to honest communication.  You are too isolated, and need to speak of these things.  I invite you to use this resource.
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Write it down
visualize it daily
Charge it with emotion.
Ask God to take the ultimate results out of your hands
Notice the crap you give yourself, and remember--YOUR CHILDREN WILL GO THROUGH EXACTLY THE SAME TORTURE.  WHAT WILL YOU TELL THEM?
Love yourself.
Try to change no more than 1% per week.
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And Bonnie?  You're doing great.

Resources

So, then...what are my favorite resources for mental and emotional development?  Let's go backwards from the end point.  What are my goals?  Success in all three arenas, in balance.  What is the primary tool for reaching those goals?  Written goals themselves, and the success patterns leading to them.  So lets take a look at a couple of the patterns.  Note:  there are so many patterns because none of them hit it "on the nose" any more than a description of an apple tastes like an apple, understand?  If you see enough of them, you'll sttart to grasp the truth, however...
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1) Written goals in all three arenas, and timed plans for their accomplishment.
2) A mind closed tightly against negative influences.
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1)Note the behavior pattern you wish to change.
2) Note what you want to change it to.
3) Raise your energy level
4) Practice the new pattern
5) Fail successfully.
6) Start over
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1)  Select goals.
2) Find role models who have already accomplished them.
3) Do what they did, utilizing flexibile behaviors.
4) Maintain sensory accuity to your results.
5)Adjust behaviors and begin cycle again.
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Can you see the overall pattern, and how it can be applied to anything?  If we add the lessons of the Hero's Journey, the overall resources can be seen pretty clearly.  
1)  Clear goals.  THINK AND GROW RICH  is a beautiful, primary source.  Note: NOT "Think and Grow Rich--a Black Choice", because Dennis Kimbro, who wrote it, left out a couple of crucial techniques--probably because they seemed out of phase with his Christian belief patterns. The original book simply studied the lives of 300 successful men in the 1920's, and boiled down what they did.  It is the best book ever written on the subject of success--and possibly always will be, because it was the first, and everything else was influenced by it.  HOW TO GET CONTROL OF YOUR TIME AND YOUR LIFE is also terrific.
2) Dealing with your fears and taking action.  UNLIMITED POWER by Tony Robbins was the first popularization of NLP, and contains a really fine cross-section of powerful techniques for programming and aligning your subconscious mind.  UNLIMITED POWER--A BLACK CHOICE is pretty damned good, and I know the guy who wrote it with Robbins--a very smart and savvy brother named Joseph Mcclendon III.  PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS, THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING, THE GOLDEN KEY, AS A MAN THINKETH, etc. also have power here--but they generally state the same thing: we become what we think about.  NLP offers specific tools for fine-tuning thought.  CORE TRANSFORMATION by Connirae Andreas of NLP Comprehensive in Colorado is the only NLP book with a spiritual base, and I think the world of it.
3) The Road of trials.  This is the concept of moving forward at the rate of about 1% per week.  Try to do more than that, and you'll burn out.  Slowly, slowly. Or, as the guides say on Kilimanjaro, "Pole, Pole."  A BOOK OF FIVE RINGS is wonderful for understanding the life path that leads to mastery. And speaking of that, MASTERY by George Leonard is also fantastic.
4) Allies and Powers.  You will need to learn to identify positive role models, and to extract the essence of their behaviors and beliefs.  NLP is excellent here, as well.  The "Deep Trance Identification" technique may be the best of them all, and there are CDs on the internet that will guide you through the process.
You will also need to create Mastermind groups.  If you have no exterior allies, then you need to go deeply enough into yourself to make contact with the God-force within you, which can sustain you through long, long, periods of lonliness.  ENERGY ANATOMY by Caroline Myss is terrific for this.
5) Dark Night of the Soul.  You have to learn to raise your energy.  Ideally, you should eat, move, and rest with the intention of increasing health and energy continuously.  Plan to put a huge amount of surplus in the bank, so that you can withdraw it during times of emotional depression or stress.  Basic knowledge of exercise: seek out the Kettlebell work on Dragondoor.com.  When you're ready for a deeper understanding, check out Coach Sonnon's work on Rmax.tv--it is more esoteric, less easy to apply, but as deep as the ocean, folks.  Diet?  The healthiest, longest-lived people on the planet tend to be vegetarians who eat a bit of fish, milk, and egg.  Do your research.  If you are living a high-energy, aggressive lifestyle, you'll need to add some chicken and beef.  Research.  If you are ready for a disciplined, highly focused approach to diet, look at THE WARRIOR DIET.  Not for the faint of heart.  LIGHT ON YOGA by BKS Iyengar is a seminal work.  Damned near a holy book for the body.
6) Leap of faith.  Find an ancient, holy text to read and study.  You needn't believe in the literal mythology, or the common interpretation.  Seek to read between the lines.  These books have survived because they offered countless generations solice and strength.  Yes, they have been distorted and abused, but there is also core truth. Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism...all have texts that can uplift you and help you through the darkest days.  There are others.  Find one that speaks to your heart, and plunge in for a lifetime. 
Oh--and let's add Behavioral flexibility.  This is creativity.  It manifests on both physical, emotional, and intellectual levels.  Yoga will teach all three.  Books like DRAWING ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BRAIN, and MIND MAPPING can set  you free.
8) Student becomes the teacher.  Having a perspective on your actions that removes them from the simple context of ego and self-enrichment.  You need a cause larger than you are.  You need to believe in something that will live after you die.  Again, the great spiritual texts are utterly priceless in this regard.
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There are more.  These are the ones that I pray my children read, that they might understand who their father was, and go far beyond me.  These are the books I recommend without reservation.

The Mastermind--and Friendship

A very important question arose about friends, and when to "cut them off" from hurting you.  The answer is--INSTANTLY.  You don't have the life to waste.  That doesn't mean hurting them, shaming them, or whatever--although, if you change your habits, they will often ACCUSE you of these things.
there are two separate issues here, which are really part of the same question: How shall we make a better world?  And How can be be the best people we can be?
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to over-simplify grossly, we are both light and shadow.  The two aspects interact to create depth, so there really isn't a possibility of being all one or the other--not and stay on THIS level of reality!  Call it a Life drive and a Death drive.  The life drive tries to protect us, the death drive seeks to destroy us.  A problem here--too much life drive, and  we can become afraid of everything, unable to risk.  Too much death drive, and we can take chances that destroy our families and careers and health.  curiously, alcoholism can be, not an embracing of death, but of life: a desperate avoidance of the realities that would cause ego-death, and an attempt to find some joy in an apparently joyless world.  It is very, very complicated--if it weren't don't you think someone would have created a fool-proof, simple philosophy by now?  Jeeze, they've been trying for six thousand years!
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Remember the quote by Nelson Mandela?  The one that says the world needs all the light it can get, and we don't have the right to play small?  That comes in here.  Our friends are as damaged as we are.  As we "hang out" with them, we all convince ourselves that we're cool, and doing the best we can, and that this is as good as life gets.  We're anesthetized by drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, food, TV, whatever.  Now then.  If you start to change, you realize that you've been sitting in a cave, mistaking shadows for light.  As you move into the daylight, your friends will fear the fear they've buried--and it's not pleasant. They will try to drag you back, to test you, to "blame you for making them feel bad" and so forth.  In a dysfunctional family?  Just try to get healthy and watch mom and dad guilt trip you to try to force you back into whatever position they understand and feel comfortable with.  There is no end to it, and peoplle will literally drag their loved ones down into the grave with them, attempting to hold onto the familiar and the "safe."
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But guess what?  If you can change healthfully, AND STILL LOVE YOUR FRIENDS, while never allowing them to hurt you, BUT NOT REJECTING THEM, slowly, they will come toward the light.  After all, they desperately want to heal, to grow.  They've simply lost confidence.  They've been lied to  so many many times, told to feel guilt, blame and shame about the failures in their lives.  They are waiting for you to abandon them, as they perceive the world has.  If you don't, but simultaneously lose that weight, or stop drinking, or find a healthy mate, or a healthy career, slowly, they will come to you and whisper that they want to know how you did it.  But you have to keep the love connection, you cannot judge them, you have to continue to see the divinity within them, and NEVER see yourself above them--although your behaviors may well be more enlightened than theirs.  Man oh man, is this a delicate balance to maintain.  Yow! YOU HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO SUCCEED, to be happy, and healthy, and sane, and wildly in love.  Then, you are the light that shows them the direction to go.  You become an avatar.
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On a much simpler level, the "Mastermind" group must contain only those who are in complete alignment with you.  A single horse pulling in the opposite direction will upset the carriage.  Better to cut him loose.  You can have such a person as a friend, but never in the Mastermind that meets at least once a week to coordinate goals and plans.  If you have no one, then you must align your own subconscious, and jsut learn to trust yourself, walking alone until you have healed enough to earn a place at a "higher" level, with the enlightened souls you will find there.  And let me tell you--they will be happy to see you!  The climb is lonely, and we all lose people along the way.  Have faith.  There will be new friends.  And if your old friends, and family, see that you have moved up without moving away, you become a force in their lives too. 
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Want to save a drowning swimmer?  Get your own damned feet on dry land and then throw them a life preserver, otherwise they'll drag you down with them.  And hate themseves for doing it.  Deep inside, your friends are praying you make it.  It gives them hope, even if they can't tell you that.

Steve