The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Tananarive returns today

She's coming in at LAX at about 4.  She'll take the limo in, so I'll see her at about 5:30.  Can't begin to say how glad I'll be to see her!  Bet Jason will grin until his head falls in half.
It is very, very difficult to express how much it means to me to have a partner like T.  She is simply perfect for me at this phase of my life, and I pray that that doesn't change.  I doubt it will--we have a kid to raise, and our values on that issue are pretty darned similar.
More importantly, I feel so relaxed and confident that I've found the woman who expresses the best part of myself.  Sure, we both have flaws, but our strengths are complementary in the very best way, and that is what makes this so incredible.  It is so painful to listen to people thrashing around in the outer darkness of dating hell, or marriage purgatory, unable to see themselves clearly, and therefore find their way to the light.  They blame their partner--or the opposite sex in general, because they are afraid to look more deeply at the fact that it is their choices that created their lives, and their lovers--or lack thereof--are direct mirrors of their own being.  If you want different people to be attracted to you, you have to mirror the essence of your ideal man or woman.  You have to heal yourself--a relationship should be a union between two autonomous human beings, not a co-dependant two-step between wounded beasts fanging and clawing each other in the tar-pits of love.
It's awful to watch, especially when one or both lack the honesty requisite to prevent finger-pointing.
Life is so damned short, and love is so damned precious.  Can't wait to see her!

No comments: