The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Inner and Outer Worlds--#2

Sexuality.  Can you think of anything else that is so much fun that botches us up as much?  I know of otherwise happily married men who can't get past the fact that there will always be new women unplucked.  Women who make one horrific choice after anothr in their intimate lives, and slowly kill their hearts.  People who got married because of a pregnancy, and spent the next twenty years hating their lives.  Ugh. How much guilt, pain, joy, about a woman I know, sexually denied by her husband, who fell in love with the voices of Right-Wing radio guys, because they were the only male voices she could "interact" with?  The guy who let himself believe that sexual attraction to a 14-year old girl was an indication that she was brilliant and mature and capable of deciding when to have intercourse.  He's now in jail in New Mexico, his life shattered. 
And yet...some of the very greatest memories of my entire life have been sexual in nature.  New friends, old friends converted...spontaneous actions, well-planned rendevous...intimacy and group gropes...good lord, there's just too much, and every one has a different meaning and a different story.  I'm tell one on myself tomorrow.  But does anyone out there have a good one today?

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