Self-Image and success

Tomorrow I take off for Iowa. Today is a mad dash, getting everything together for the trip. Included in what I have to do is talk to Jason's preschool teacher. Apparently, he was making reference to the karate games we play, talking about how he was "going to kick Daddy in the face and the back and the butt..." Needless to say, she was a bit disturbed.

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I think that Nicki hit a node of insecurity about her future chances to be an actress. Self-doubt is a part of human existence, and for the artist...fuggitaboddit. In general, artists either have a drive to create that obliterates considerations, or an ego so huge that it overshadows their fears and doubts. What I have to do is help her craft another way...born of genuine Self-exploration. I may need to guide her toward more of a safety net, however. Say...a Masters, which would allow her to teach. But this Summer she will be serving an Internship at a small movie studio. That will give her some real-world experience, and hopefully, a taste of the real world.

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I suspect her self-image is going to have to shift, and that will be a tough one. It requires either major life shifts or long hard work to shift our concepts of self. They form to protect us (or our society) and any break-up of these constructs can be traumatic.

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The trouble is when your self-image is "A" and your conscious goals or values are "B." You can tear yourself to pieces, and destroy your self confidence battering into the limits of image as you strive to reach goals, lose weight, form healthier relationships, or whatever.

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The "Psycho-Cybernetics" approach is to visualize (and emotionalize) the successful completion of your task. To see yourself vividly as the kind of person who can do it. This probably requires about...twenty minutes a day. That number keeps coming up.

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A deeper approach is to clear the mental stage altogether, and then build upon that empty clarity. This requires more patience--it doesn't seem that anything is happening at first. The advantage is that progress, when made, seems more genuine. To visualize the goal without removing the rubble of past self-image and personal history can be like building a house over a cesspool without draining it.

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From my perspective, the difference between art and craft is that art demands both craft (technique) and self-expression. The deeper your contact with your true self, the easier it is to eschew what others have done in your field, and make a genuine contribution to the cultural dialog, based upon clarity rather than imitation.

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Jerimiah Wright is genuinely rat-fucking Obama's campaign, so far as I'm concerned. And this is where I think that the idea that Obama's race somehow works to his advantage is absurd. IF he could LOOK black without any of the load or damage, perhaps. That goes along with my observation that he has an advantage in his father being African, rather than African-American. He did not inherit certain aspects of slavery's legacy. On the other hand, in order to have a community, he had to associate with those who did and do suffer that legacy--the walking wounded. Unless he wanted to walk alone (or almost exclusively among whites) he probably had to look at himself as a doctor among patients. Wright's politically loaded sermons probably hit him as "wow. People are really, really hurt and frightened. I must find a way to help." When stuff started coming out on Utube, the politically expedient thing to do would have been to utterly reject. "Not "A", but rather "B". Instead he tried to resolve the duality, "Both A and B"--the comments were abhorrent, but represent an honest set of emotions that whites would feel were historical positions reversed.

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The controversy was dying down until Wright started his traveling show. Now, regardless of what Obama says, one thing is true: he is constantly reminding America that he is black. Over and over again. Endlessly, in every news cycle. And that (I believe) is a losing position. In my own professional life, I've noticed that if I can keep people's attention on the project, I can get the job. But if race comes up in the conversation before the deal is sealed...I'm screwed. If he could have kept the conversation off race, he had a chance.

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Like I've said: if Will Smith can't get laid, Obama can't get elected. And vice-versa. Just my take on it. But it looks to me like Jerimiah Wright's ego is out of control. He claims to be protecting "the black church" but most of his comments have been personal. Sadly, I don't buy it.

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But if Obama doesn't win, the sad thing will be all the black folks who say: "see! Nothing has changed" without realizing the absurdity of that position. Massive change has occurred. A path has been marked out. A black man with zero baggage can make it now--that simply wasn't true a generation ago. A generation from now, he'll be able to have baggage, like a normal human being. I see nothing but ultimate positives in what has happened here, in the sense that an accurate diagnosis is ALWAYS better than having the doctor lie to you, or make a mistake. Unless I believe blacks are inferior, I know we'll work it out. The only way to do that is with clarity. I think Barack Obama is remarkable, really more of a philosopher than a politician, and it will be fascinating to see how this all plays out. I'm determined not to be too depressed or exalted, no matter what. And as long as Hillary fights (relatively) clean? I'll be happy to vote for her.