What Lies Do They Tell?

At a party recently, political discussions arose, one attendee waxing enthusiastic about Obama to a well-known black actor. The actor maintained a neutral expression for most of it, and then informed the speaker that he was working for Clinton. There was a bit of tightness about his face, and I had the definite impression that he had been forced to be defensive about his choice. My reaction was “may the best person win—whoever would do the better job, I hope they win.” Relaxation. Whew. Dodged that bullet…
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Then of course over the last weeks, we’ve had lotsa controversy about whether race or gender should be the stronger determinate. It may or may not mean anything, but I’ve seen dozens of speeched, articles and posts specifically about “a woman in the white house” (including some by the candidate herself). Draw what conclusions you will about what it means that women speak much more bluntly about this than black people do about “an African-American in the White House.” I’m sure we have opinions about what that means, but that’s another conversation. I found myself quite annoyed that Oprah was accused of being a traitor to her vagina by supporting Obama. Much as, obviously, the actor was pressured to vote/support according to his race. Sigh. You know, it’s the most natural thing in the world. No one could look at the history of the U.S., with every president and every major presidential contender of the first 200 years being a White Male, and not think that human beings vote or contribute according to race or gender—unless you think White Males are just vastly superior, OF COURSE that’s what people do.

Until they feel safe enough to connect more deeply with their sense of individual existence, and divine guidance. At that point, you can grow past the tribal/gender stuff, and see more of the qualities of human beings separate from these relatively trivial things.

Whatever decision you guys make, I hope to God that you wouldn’t vote for Obama or Clinton primarily on the basis of race or gender. If you do, friend, you are a part of the problem, no matter what your intentions.
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How do you rise above this stuff? Those of you who have watched me struggle with racial issues here should guess the answer: you have to process it. Go into it. During your morning meditations or journaling sessions, be honest about your wounds, fears, resentments. If there is someone you hate or resent, first connect with your own heart, and then see if you can connect with theirs. Can you understand their actions without placing yourself above them? Can you look at a thief, molester, murderer and still find their humanity? A terrorist, without assuming superiority or demonizing them? Can you grasp that someone might have felt America was deserving of 9/11 without either considering them crazy or “correct” or stupid? Can you look at your negative relationship history and see your own responsibility for the disasters without hating yourself? Can you forgive someone who has cheated you without dropping your guard against the next con artist you meet?

The ability to face fears, pains, betrayals, attacks, disappointments, without either losing your sense of personal power or considering yourself superior to others is the way to resolve those dualities and move on to the next level in your life. Every time you do it, you free up the energy invested in maintaining the artificial distinctions.

This does NOT mean not protecting yourself, or having priorities in life. I don’t have to have negative feelings about illegal aliens (I’m sure I’d sneak across the border too, if I was in their place) to know that we have as much of a right to protect our nation as Mexico has. Last time I looked, they had laws and borders and don’t appreciate them being disrespected. I have few rules, but one of the most important is that I will NEVER accept being treated with less respect than the other person demands. I will watch the way they behave, the way they react to being interrupted, or yelled at, or deferred to, or whatever. If they then demonstrate those behaviors toward me, I assume that it means whatever THEY thought it meant. That’s their language. Clearly, Mexicans consider national boundaries to be important. It is therefore hypocritical and pure politics to pretend that we’re doing something wrong to protect our borders. We’d be just as hypocritical…don’t get me wrong. But I can “get the joke” and still want employers punished for hiring Illegals, and still want to offer green cards to Illegals who turn those employers in.

I don’t have to hate a mugger to thump him, or hate a child murderer to execute him. I just don’t. The easiest way to get peole to march is to stir their emotions. I plead with you to look into your fears and resentments. YOU CAN’T THINK THROUGH THIS STUFF. You have to FEEL your way through it. Intellect will just try to convince you that hell, YOU don’t have unconscious motivations. You don’t have unreasoning prejudices programmed from childhood. YOU aren’t driven by fear and pain.

The more people protest that they aren’t, unless they have perfect bodies, perfect relationships, and perfect careers…I know they are in deep denial, driven by drives with which they have no conscious contact.

One of the best ways to learn to detect this in yourself is to watch the way it works in others. Look at their relationship history, their physical body, and their career satisfaction. IF they are responsible for the results in these arenas (and aren’t Adults supposed to be responsible?), what do their results suggest? Assume that every human being walking the planet feels two things:
1) Alone
2) Afraid
Choose someone in your life and apply the Question of the Day:

1)What do they do with their loneliness and fear?
2) What lies do they tell about it?

Remember: pay FAR MORE attention to what you see than to their explanations. When you’ve done this to a few hundred people, you’ll start seeing right through your own bullshit. Kind of scarey, really.