“In physics and nuclear chemistry, nuclear fusion is the process by which multiple atomic particles join together to form a heavier nucleus. It is accompanied by the release or absorption of energy.”
Last Saturday, lecturing at the Sherwood Oaks Experimental college, I told a group that part of the reason for the “energy” people feel at an Obama rally is the fact that he is a “natural” at resolving dualities. Damn near every speech he gives, and everything he represents, is about taking things that seem to be opposite and showing how they are just two sides of the same thing. He is seeing the entire game from a higher level. Now, if you don’t like him, you may disagree with this, or you may agree and consider it to be an unworthy philosophical position. Fine. But I have to get this out this morning—it was the direct result of the morning meditation, and it’s important that I not filter this through too much political correctness. I’m not going to slow myself down by constantly saying “according to some theories…” or “I seriously think that…”
Hopefully, the intelligent reader will take those as given, and not need me to say it over and over again.
Here we go. He aims to resolve, or hopes to resolve, or represents resolution in, or hallucinates that he can resolve:
1) black and white
2) red states and blue states
3) Conservative and Liberal
4) Christian and Muslim
5) American and non-American
Etc. And to the degree that he can, or that people believe he can the energy expended in maintaining the illusion of duality is released, and can be accessed and utilized.
An example is the energy released in “burning away” ego walls. The newborn infant is undifferentiated consciousness. The only hard-wired emotions are fear, love, and anger. The basic sensations are Pain and Pleasure. Subtler emotions and sensations are outgrowths of these, and as the infant begins to learn about those things that produce these emotions and sensations, knowledge of the subjective/objective world is accumulated, and later labeled through language.
A side-note: I find it sad that there are people who really believe you can’t form thoughts without language, or that language contains all experience. It merely means that they have either never experienced something beyond words, or that their minds can’t process anything that is meta-linguistic. Pity.
I’ve noticed for years that I don’t fully process my most powerfully negative emotions. My mother’s death didn’t slow me down for even an hour. It was “oh, well” and I kept going. It’s processed slowly over the years, rather than having a real, deep, thorough impact at the time. I would watch other people grieving with a slightly sociopathic sense of disconnection, and an almost anthropological distance. Hmm. Human emotion. How interesting.
In Hawaiian “Huna” magic, they have an interesting set of theories about human consciousness. One is that the function of the subconscious is to keep us alive, and one of the ways it does this is to create “black bags” of unprocessed emotion, encysting the emotional “toxins” that we are not ready to process.
Often, by the way, this stuff is stored in our bodies. The difficulty many people have in losing weight—especially if that weight was the result of sexual or emotional abuse, is that you MUST process the emotions “held” in the tissue. As it comes up, nightmares and phobic responses are commonplace. This is why therapy, dream diary work, and meditation are critical.
That infant beginning to perceive the world “learns” that there is a difference between “it” and “not-it.” It learns what to touch and not touch. How to manipulate Mommy and Daddy by smiling and crying and pooping. It learns, finally that life makes most sense if it assumes there is an “I” perceiving the world. This is as opposed to many high philosophies that suggest there is a single life force (called, for instance, the “Jowk” in many African cultures) that takes many forms, like mushrooms apparently differentiating from a single mycelial mass.
We invest energy in the differences, because understanding differences promotes “individual” survival. Groups invest energy in their differences, because it promotes group survival. In the 60’s there was a great movement toward believing black and white were not as different as all American culture had been led to believe. There was a great outpouring of energy, as the culture “exhaled” with relief, releasing some of the energy that had been invested in the lie.
In my study of spiritual sexual practices worldwide, those cultures who bother to talk about such things seriously say something to the effect that the intensity of an orgasm is in direct proportion to the amount of your ego that you release at that moment.
It is sexual fusion.
The energy bound up in “this, not that” is gigantic, and we pay the cost. In terms of playing this game, in this world, that cost may be worth paying. But for most of us, the basic opinions we have about race, gender, culture, and religion were formed before we had any conscious or logical functions. We simply absorbed them from our environment. Logic, forming later, then seeks to justify what we believe we must believe to survive.
All data that conflicts with the most basic core beliefs is tucked into “black bags.” I’d bet ANYTHING that the vast, vast majority of those who don’t believe in Evolution got the basic building blocks of those beliefs before they were five years old.
I teach the Fear Removal technique, a phenomenal method for literally removing fear from the human body-mind. Or, rather, diminishing the effects fear has on behavior. I’ve been shocked at how few people will actually try it. I thought for sure that people would jump on it like crazy.
No. Their subconscious feels that it needs that fear. That without the fear, they will be hurt again. Huna suggests that if we learn the lessons, we don’t need the emotions. So the really grotesque “zinger” is that the intellect we pretend to trust so much we actually don’t trust at all. We don’t believe we can actually learn the lessons necessary to navigate our lives without terror. We won’t let go of the fear.
And NOTHING drains our energy, stops our lives, inhibits our passion more than fear, and fear always relates to the ego shell and what it perceives to be a threat: death, loss, injury.
So the ego lies to us through the intellect, gathering whatever information we need to justify the underlying beliefs and ignoring the rest. We get to feel so reasonable and smart, think we are navigating the world consciously, while actually being led around by our emotional noses.
This is one reason it is so difficult to sustain a meditation practice. Or lose weight. Or resolve dualities.
Personally? As my meditation practice takes me deeper into myself, I’m running into all of the emotions I’ve stuffed. Obviously, a lot of it has to do with race.
Reading yesterday, I came across several comments from women about how they were told “if you show boys how smart you are, the boys will reject you.” I’m sure that was devastating to many of them. What was I told? “If you show white people how smart you are, they will kill you.”
Good Lord. Sorry, but First Chakra (survival) trumps second and fourth chakra (sex and emotion) by a country mile. That is seriously fucked up.
And yet in order to reach my goals, I had to be express as close to 100% of my capacity as possible. What a conflict. No wonder I buried it.
Another note on the cost of being black. I think a great number of people would think (although possibly not say publicly, but then I have no sense) that Barack Obama is remarkable, but MORE remarkable for a black man than he would be for a white man. Yeah, I think so. But the differential between those two is exactly the price paid, or the weight carried, by the average black person in America. Obama, being African rather than the descendant of slaves, knows his name, country of origin, language of origin, and faith of his fathers—even if he rejects it. He has visited the village his people came from.
Remember “Roots” and the fantastic outpouring of cultural energy attendant? It dissolved the wall between black Americans and their past. It said “we came from somewhere” and told, in somewhat fictionalized form, perhaps (after a literal mountain of research on Haley’s part—I have personal knowledge of this) the story of a man who managed to, for almost the first time in American History, pierce the veil used to cripple three hundred years, ten-fifteen generations of people to keep them in physical or emotional bondage. A fantastic, incredible, almost inconceivable amount of energy, released in a literary phenomenon.
When a martial artist begins to sense that he and his opponent are one being, he reaches an entirely new level of efficiency…and deadliness. Aikido is built on this. The only problem with Aikido practitioners is that they try to avoid violence, unable to resolve the apparent duality of violence and peace. Ueshiba had no such problems, I promise you.
To find peace, you travel to the center of the storm.
Sigh. This is rambling a bit, but then there are no direct words for what I’m trying to say.
Meditate. Connect breath and visualization and heartbeat to the “Hara” or “Tan Tien” or “Muladhara”, the point two inches below the navel and three inches in. Move from there. Breathe from there. Learn to “Be Breathed” and to express “Perpetual Exercise” from this point. With every step you take, connect to this point.
Notice that when you are fearful, or angry, it becomes more difficult to keep this focus. Regain it. In meditation, go so deeply into it that your flesh and bones melt away. In yoga, follow the breathing there, and release all tensions from the body. In sparring, release the conscious mind and allow the body to express itself, and then release attachment to the results, even at the cost of your own life.
Death comes to everyone. And everything. Don’t wait until you die to gain the greatest gift life has to offer.
Those who think there is some great difference between black and white, Liberal and Conservative, Christian and Muslim, American and non-American, Men and Women, are stealing energy from themselves, congealing it and using it to build ego walls that become prisons.
It is, in the grand phrase from “Terminator 2”, “delusional architecture.” Tear down those walls and free the Force.
In life, you can have a shell, or a spine. The ego fear is that if you tear down the walls, you will be hurt.
Only if you’ve never found your spine. Only if you’ve never found your core. Only if you believe that the “you” that whispers to you is a real thing.
You are not the voices in your head. You are the one listening to the voices. Even more correctly, there is no “you” there is only Jowk.
Infants come from the jowk. And to jowk we return in death. And if you can only get the joke, and wake up, you can gain all the power you lost protecting yourself from fear, while there is still time to play this wonderful game. It is not a game for children, or those who need to remain asleep. There is nothing requiring more courage or clarity.
There is nothing better to do with the days of our lives.
And finally, there is nothing.
This nothing is Everything.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Posted by Steven Barnes at 6:54 AM