Flow Is The Door

Byron Katie has four questions she uses to help people investigate their internal states. Taken deeply enough, they can have a profound effect.
1)Is it true?

2) Can you absolutely know that it's true?

3) How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

4) Who would you be without the thought?

Very good stuff.

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Flow is the highest state of "ordinary" mind (in the sense that most of us experience it, on a regular basis) and arguably the most basic of the higher mind states. It is a "threshold" to these states, and possibly the last stop for the rational, linguistic mind before something...else begins to take over.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has written at length on the subject of flow, and while his work is valuable, it is more important by far to actually experience it. And the first step it to recognize it. This can be odd, because for many people, recognizing flow pops you out of it. As you go deeper, it stabilizes, and you can actually observe yourself in flow without disrupting it. One of the reasons I encourage people to seek goals in all three arenas is that I think, based on what people told me after I'd swallowed their b.s. for years, that 99.9% of people want love, health, and success--according to their own values. But they grow despairing, and it hurts too much to think about it, and so begin to lie. "I never really wanted it anyway..." is easier than admitting you want something you no longer believe you can have. For the .1% who genuinely don't want these things...I think you know what I mean, and my intent, and these comments don't offend or disturb you in the slightest. If you feel angry, frustrated, or disturbed, on the other hand...yeah, I'm talking about you.

Anyway, that's one reason. The other is that if you learn to experience flow in these three arenas, if you overlap the experiences in a little Vin diagram, you'll learn something interesting about the commonalities. This became clear to me when I'd found "flow" in the following physical arenas: tai chi, yoga, running (the sense of standing still while the world is moving around you is simply phenomenal. The sense in Tai Chi that you are standing still while the universe folds and unfolds you like Origami is stupendous. And no, I don't experience that any more--I simply haven't done enough Tai Chi over the last decade). A little in karate and silat. Kali and escrima...yep. Got a great story about that involving psilocybin, but that was a long, long time ago. Honest. Scott Sonnon's TacFit is simply gorgeous for teaching flow, if you will actually follow his instructions and NEVER take the relative pain above a "3" while simultaneously seeking a level of technique at a "7" or above. Add the "Be Breathed" technique, and you have a genius-level way to experience one of the most powerful forms of meditation: physical flow.The dissolution of the subject-object relationship. "She's moved into the danger zone, where the dancer becomes the dance."

The last few seconds before you reach an orgasm, where the ego boundaries between you and your partner begin to fade, and there are no longer two people: "it" is happening. Speaking to women who are non-orgasmic, I've repeatedly heard the fear of "losing myself" expressed.

Anyway, I got it. Flow is also experienced by many people in the mental realm. Writing, drawing, ...many others. The place where the page just "opens up" and you fall into the story. Time dissolves. Outside distractions fade. In a sufficiently deep state, the room could be burning around you, and you wouldn't notice. The "absent minded professor" is dealing with such focused states. In fact, my own suspicion is that the core human talent is the capacity to focus on a single thing...and then another single thing...and then another, until the job is done, or the lesson learned.

Emotionally, this is trickier. Imagine a crystal tube filled with rocks. You pour in gravel to fill the spaces. Then you pour in sand to fill THOSE spaces. And now, when it seems full...you pour in water. The water is flow. Regardless of the obstacles in life, there is still something clear, and cool, and pure. Not the things you can see, or name. The space around the obstacles.

Anyone reading this blog knows that I've been dealing with major challenges on this level. My life, my environment, my career...many of the external things that I've used to define myself have changed massively, due to my relationship commitments. And it has been unbelievably painful and challenging, and has involved the death of much of my ego definition. And in the midst of that, I have to find a way to be loving, and connected, and supportive, and move on. The last weeks have, in other words, been a microcosm of life itself.

To do what must be done: love my family, do my work, care for my mind and body, find joy in a place I never ever wanted to be, begin to embrace a new existence by seeing the ways life is the same...in the depths, life is the same. Only the rippling surface has changed. I'm not there all the time, by any means. But more often I have that quality of focused release, of effortless exertion, that I recognize from martial arts, writing, and meditation.

And where all three of these things: body, career, and relationship overlap, there is a quality of being present, aware, alert but unattached...that doesn't quite have language to express. It is real, but unlabeled. When in that state, zen koans make perfect sense. I'd think this might be nuttiness, except that by the subjective measure of observers my martial arts are most efficient in that state. The writing I produce in that state is better. And the quality of my companionship is superior. It also feels better. The problems are there. The fear, the depression, the anger, the doubt are often there, like rocks in the tube.

But if I don't take myself seriously, my ego shrinks until I can flow in the water between the grains of sand, the gravel, the rocks. I start to laugh. It simply isn't serious: it is just life.

My mother died twenty-seven years ago. I have her ashes on the shelf in my office. Every day I ask her: "How'm I doing, Mom?" And in the way only a loved one who has passed on can do, she reminds me that none of this is important enough to attach to, to take seriously. And that therefore I have no reason not to do my best, and adhere to my deepest values at all costs, to move beyond pain, and fear, and doubt, and jealousy. To contribute every day, and tell the people I love that I love them.

Because none of it matters. And everything matters.
And that makes perfect sense when you flow.

“if you were a character in a story, and at the end of the story you got everything you wanted, what would the character do now?”

If you feel tired, achy, and depressed...and get less than 7 hours of sleep, until you plug this obvious energy "leak," look no further.

Ashtanga Yoga

I recently commented that Ashtanga yoga might be the single most powerful series of yoga poses in the world. I thought I'd leave a bread crumb trail of my reasoning.

1) This comment relates to the "1st Series" of Ashtanga, designed to heal, strengthen, and prepare the body and mind for the rigors of series 2-6. Series 4-6 is for mutants only.

2) K. Pathabi Jois, the core teacher of Ashtanga, was one of the three primary students of Krishnamacharya. the others were B.K.S. Iyengar (arguably the most influential hatha teacher in the world) and V. Descachar, creator of Viniyoga. A serious percentage of all yoga studied in the Western world derives from these three. Therefore, it is reasonable to suspect that Krishnamacharya can be considered a candidate for most important yoga teacher of modern times.

3) Krishnamacharya himself lived past his 100th birthday. I pay attention to stuff like that. It is reasonable to assume he was doing something right.

4) Ashtanga is an interesting beast. It uses the biomechanics of Iyengar, but is designed as several distinct series of poses, unchanging, each of which takes about 1-2 hours to perform. They are "aerobic" in the way hill walking is aerobic, using muscle locks and gymnastic jump-throughs to create inner heat. A good Ashtanga session is like a sauna. Amazing. Your body becomes rubbery.

5) Supposedly, Ashtanga originated in a document called the Yoga Korunta, found in an ancient library by Krishnamacharya and Jois. No one else has ever seen this document. Well, we've seen examples of THIS before, haven't we? It is reasonable to assume that it is possible the Y.K. never really existed, that what we have here is actually Krishnamacharya's statement on a lifetime of teaching. Iyengar style changes poses from class to class. Viniyoga is specifically the science of breaking poses down and individualizing them according to student needs. But Ashtanga is rigid, and one must find freedom within that rigidity. If that is the intent, then the poses chosen, and the methods designed to teach them, could reasonably be expected to be extraordinary.

6) An advanced Ashtanga instructor and athlete once told me she reckoned a well-done Ashtanga sequence was equal to "an hour of stretching, an hour of weights, and running a 10k." I don't know if I'd say that much...but I've noticed that if I do Ashtanga, my body works the way it did in my 20's. I'd say it creates a "false physiological profile" of a more efficient, energetic, lighter, stronger body.



Just morning thoughts on this terrific series of poses. The outer shell is very different from the inner world of breath control, muscle locks, visualizations and so forth. But look at Ashtanga on Youtube, and you'll see quickly that this ain't your Granny's yoga. Unless of course, she does an hour of stretching, an hour of weights, and runs a 10K every day. In which case the acryonym "GILF" may well apply.

Only when you don't need someone, when you know that your happiness does not depend upon them, are you truly free to love them.

Think you aren't a winner? Nonsense. You outswam 100 million other sperm for the right to be you. Own it. And never stop swimming!

There is a price for what you want in life, and the price is always paid in advance.

All it takes to get everything you need is everything you've got.

What you are aware of, you are in control of. What you are not aware of is in control of you.
--Anthony Demello

"Hanna" is an art-house "Kick Ass," an action film with heart, soul, and fight choreography by the great Jeff Imada. See it.

The nature of the rain does not change, but it grows thorns in the marshes, and flowers in the garden.

Raising the Wild Child

Some of you know that Jason has been a rambunctious trial--as of course, little boys should be. I'm sure my sainted mother is grinning from heaven. "Told you so!" At any rate, over the last year we had a wonderful therapist, Dr. Meyer, who oversaw our efforts to help him learn to obey, cut down the lying and tantrums, control his behavior, and in general mature. Dr. Meyer didn't object to the idea of spanking, but I noticed he smiled and scribbled when I decided for myself that I didn't want to take that path: didn't want Jason to associate my touch with pain. But discipline was necessary, and discomfort is a great teacher (one of the reasons drugs are such a bad idea for the immature, by the way: without pain, we simply don't learn whole swaths of critical life lessons.) At any rate, I began to collect a cluster of approaches, and test them (without testing, theories aren't much good) and Dr. Meyer was fascinated, and actually wanted to write an article with me for a journal of child psychology specializing in ADD kids. I hesitated because I wasn't getting results that were sufficiently positive. But as time went on, and I kept adjusting, I started getting those results. The move to Atlanta has of course added chaos to our lives, and we have to start some of this process over, but I'm still impressed by how much Jason matured during the time when I was applying these techniques.

The most important of them had to do with meditating morning and night with him, and teaching him hatha yoga. I spoke of this to one of my coaching clients, R., who is having issues with his own kids. R. asked me to provide him a break-down of my approach. The following note went out yesterday, and with tiny modifications I thought I'd share it.

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Dear R.--

Terrific talking with you today. Actually glad you reminded me of the breathing thing, and wanted to jot down a few thoughts in that regard.

1) Breath is the "canary in the coal mine"--it is the first thing to shift as the body-mind degrades from calm to stress to strain. Control the breathing, and you control the rest of the chain.

2) Breath is the only process that is both voluntary and autonomic. It is the doorway to control of ordinarily unconscious functions, such as fight or flight response.

3) The best way to learn any skill is to practice it multiple times during the day for short sessions (rather than expending the same amount of time in a lump).

4) I was using breathing with Jason in several ways. First, every morning and every night we would sit together cross-legged and chant "om" in multiples of ten. If everything was fine at home and at school, it required only ten. But for every level of difficulty, I'd add another ten, until sometimes he was doing it forty times morning and night, counting up to ten over and over again. "One. Ommmmmm. Two. Ommmmm." etc. Breathing slow, and deep in his belly. Most of the time, I would do this with him. Sometimes, I would force him to do it alone while I watched. I kept track to see which was more efficient and effective

5) Hatha Yoga is just a breathing exercise, tying knots in the flow of breath, then unraveling them and tying a new one, seeking calm and flow under increasing levels of physical stress. By the way, this is a core explanation of the transformative aspects of many body-mind disciplines: martial arts, tai chi, so forth. I chose the "downward dog" pose because holding it causes real stress. It is a bear. But if you use focus and proper form, as well as control the breathing, the "pain" becomes mere intensity, and can be ridden like a wave. When Jason has been "bad" I'll put him in Downward Dog position. Usually after 30 seconds, he's a hurtin' unit. I can remind him to breathe, extend, and focus, which entrains proper habits of body-mind integration under stress (remember: if stress does not become strain, it will not hurt you. Behaviors linked to fear and anger can thereby be controlled). This allows me to use the aversive conditioning of "talking" to his nervous system (pain) without anchoring violent physical contact into our relationship, and teaching him a VERY valuable skill simultaneously.

6) By identifying an area where he craves excellence (Judo) I've been able to use that as a way to teach principles of thought and action (Musashi's Nine) and relate that to success in proper behavior in other arenas...like school, controlling his temper at home, and so forth. "Do Not Think Dishonestly" and "The Way is In Training" work great for teaching discipline, homework, reliability, clarity, and a host of other positive values. He HATES being thrown, especially by girls. Heh heh. So by showing him how a discipline I want him to master will lead to results in alignment with his internal values. I get a serious twofer. Maybe a threefer.

7) Every day, in every way, I tell him and show him I love him, and that that love cannot be lost, damaged, and will never be withheld. I don't always like his behavior, but that is separate. He needs this like roses need rain. It allows me to speak to him honestly and directly about how I am helping him learn to be the man HE is committed to being. He wants to be a warrior. A hero. One others can rely upon. This is the only path I know that will educe such strength, and allow him grace in his journey.

Anyway, that's the basic stuff. Ask if you want more specificity!

Steve

Saying spirituality cannot exist without religion is like saying hamburgers cannot exist without McDonald's.

Saying spirituality cannot exist without religion is like saying hamburgers cannot exist without McDonald's.

Would you want me to love you at the cost of my happiness?

Only when you're ready to lose your life do you really live. If you're protecting your life you're already dead. Only the dead fear death.

If there is evil, it is deliberate cruelty. If there is true stupidity, it is lying to yourself about what we take with us into death.

An awakened person does not march to the beat of society's drum. He dances to the tune of the music that springs up from within.

Finding My Footing

Those of you who have been following me on Facebook, my blog or through emails know that due to an emergency in Tananarive's family, we've had to relocate from California to Atlanta, Georgia. Let's just say that's the last thing I expected to happen to me, shifting away from my family, friends, business connections, and the life I've grown quite comfortable with.

In short, I didn't want to go. Just being married to someone who needed to be In Georgia wouldn't have been enough to force me to move. A bi-coastal relationship would have been preferable on several counts. But there was another consideration: our son Jason. By my values, Jason needs two parents. I am one of them. That pretty much ends the discussion. I have choice, but I made that choice BEFORE we adopted my son. It was a sacred commitment to be there for him, to give him what my father did not give me, to be certain that he could stand on my shoulders, rather than in the hole I've been shoveling frantically to fill most of my life.

Can't back down from an obligation like that. And that has been the first foundational position. "I" made this decision. It was and is in alignment with my deepest values. How do I know? A simple test:

1) Does my youngest self agree with this? In other words, does it match with my childhood dreams and aspirations? Can I find a way to wiggle it in to what I needed and wanted as a boy? Absolutely. I wanted a father, someone to love and nurture and support me. There was no male figure. No father, no step-father, no uncles nearby. No older brothers. Wasn't athletic enough to attract coaches. All my teachers were women. Nothing, and the lack was achingly deep. I remember when my mother (briefly) dated a guy, and I was about six or seven at the time. He was sitting on the couch, and I was on a seat behind the couch, curled up like a little kitten, my heart aching. Wouldn't he reach back and tousle my hair? Tell me I was strong and smart? Play catch with me?

I remember crying myself to sleep. Was I so ugly, so stupid, so...defective somehow that no one wanted to be my daddy?

I will burn in hell before I put a child of mine through that pain. To serve Jason, to love and nurture him, is a gift to the boy I was.

Well, that's settled. That boy wanted a father, and didn't have one, but I could and did grow up to be the father he wanted and needed. You have two chances to experience the bond of parent to child: one when you are a child, and again when you are a parent. I'll take what I can get.

Then there is the second aspect:

2) Does my oldest self agree with this? When I see myself on my death bed, tubes up my nose and the doctors making long faces, what does that ancient think of my life? I watched my mother and father die. Mom didn't die well: she was filled with fear and regret. My father died well. While he had made mistakes in life, he had come to terms with them. He and I had forgiven each other, loved each other. And his ravaged image sits on my left shoulder, reminding me that life is a river that flows in a single direction: you don't really get do-overs. Be cautious.

To be on ones deathbed with conscious awareness of the curtain's descent is to step beyond ego and illusion. All striving is past. The fear and pain can grow so severe that one is force to do what the wise do far earlier: to cease identifying with the "me" or the body. My father said to my wise-fool (and I mean that in the very best and most appreciative way) Uncle Carver: "Carver, I have cancer."

"No," Carver replied. "Your body has cancer."

And that reply set my father free. He got the joke, in a way that those who have hope and ambition and clever egos can't understand.

To "Die before you die" is a Sufic expression for which I have great respect. It is a clue to the nature of that state called "Enlightenment." What is important to people in that state? It is not work, that's for sure. Not fame, or money, or fun toys like that. When death comes to the aware, it seems to have a purifying effect, illusion, doubt, fear, and ego burned away, and what remains is those values actually closest to the heart.

What does that elder say? To love my family. To live my deepest values. To take every step, every breath, as a gift to the world and to the divine and therefore to one's truest self.

My father's cancer-ravaged image, always with me, reminds me to tell the people I love that I love them EVERY DAY. To dance every day. To learn every day. To contribute every day. To live in the constant awareness that the curtain is descending. Play my part with full awareness, total joy, and take a freakin' bow. Enjoy the light, while it lasts.

And that older Steve knows that one of my father's greatest regrets in life was not being there for me. Well, then...that kinda settles that, doesn't it? Yeah. To live one's life is great, but to smooth the way for the next generation is the only way you can honor your teachers and mentors. It is the flow of life itself. The final step of the Hero's Journey that allows you to move on to the next level. The Student Becomes the Teacher. Then, of course, the Teacher becomes the Student once again. Ah...yes. I can "get" that. Feel it. Have lived it. There is truth there.

Now, then, the following is important: I have nothing more important to say than this.

Where the youngest you, and the oldest you, agree on the path...that is the road to walk. The youngest is your passion and hope and ambition and desire. The oldest is your wisdom, clarity and egoless grasp of reality. Do a Vin diagram. Where they overlap, where they agree...that is your path.

Do all you can to align them. Harlan Ellison said: "Success is to bring into existence, in adult terms, your childhood dreams." I love that.

And I have heard wisdom from elders in the Sufic, Native American, East African and martial arts communities say that wisdom is to live as if advised by your own self at the moment of death.

And the path between them may be hard...but while walking that path for a while I held my daughter Nicki's soft warm hand. And there was nothing more worthwhile I have ever done.

Jason's hand is as soft, and warm. He is mine to shepherd for just a little while.

Whenever I wonder what I should do, how I should be, what values I should hold dearest, to what I should exert my considerable energies, I ask myself a question: "how long will I be dead?"

Armed with that, I make my choice. Jason. That means I also choose his mother, Tananarive. That means that although this is not the life "me" wanted, it is the life "I" chose.

The rest is just details.

I have my footing.

If you look for the truth outside yourself,
It gets further and further away
--Tung-Shan

When you think as a con, or a lib, or a man, or a woman, or "as" anything except perhaps a human being...you have ceased to think.

It is not selfish to live your life by your values. It IS selfish to ask others to live THEIR lives by your values.

All the mystics and wise men of the world have tried to tell us one thing: all is well. The world is fine. The problem is in our Selves.

Only the adult you are can heal the Child you were

Yesterday I received an email from one of my 101/ TacFit Warrior students. It breaks my heart to say I've had dozens like it over the years. As with too many women she had childhood issues, and has struggled with her sexual expression and weight issues since that time. The following has been carefully redacted to protect her identity:

Dear Steve,

Hi, I hate to bug you when you're in the midst of such a huge move. I thought about posting to the 101, but there isn't really a topic this goes under and I don't know where to begin with backstory if I did try to post.

I've been giving myself permission to be pretty. I bought a few new things that look good on me and threw out some of the clothing so unflattering my friend K. makes me go home and change. I'm writing, and I even started putting up audiotracks for some of my poetry. I'm exercising (TacFit Warrior, pre-recruit) and deliberately nourishing my body. I'm losing weight, feeling good. People are noticing. I've been doing really good about not freaking out with all of my stuff. I just think of all the gorgeous women in my life who are not afraid to strut their stuff. Yeah, I can do that.

Then I get a facebook message from a total stranger who can't even keep his assumed names straight and I'm freaking out. Like I shouldn't have put up that profile pic where I feel all pretty and I shouldn't be posting audio tracks on my blog. I'm all kinds of down on myself like I should not be trying to get attention. I should slip back into the shadows where it's safe and stop putting myself out there like the weirdo magnet that I am. Yeah, I've got issues. I know I should not freak out over one message from a stranger on facebook. I mean I've had friend requests from strangers, I generally accept if we have a friend in common, but not if it doesn't feel right. I've just never been freaked out by a message before. I don't know if it's my baggage or his words, but it really got to me and I want to undo everything I've done in the past month towards allowing myself to be pretty. I'm gonna cut and paste our exchange and I'm sorry to bug you when I'm sure you're overwhelmed. I just want to know a) is he creepy or is it just my baggage setting off so many alarms? b) any suggestions on what to do about it, other than hide under a rock until I'm ninety? Any wisdom would be appreciated. It's been a long time since I've been this creeped out by someone.

Thank you,

X

(There followed a very obvious come-on from the "facebook friend." Yuck.)

Dear X:

Yep, he's hoping for a hook-up, but I wouldn't call it creepy. Just inappropriate. You dealt with it fine.

The other issue is the fear. You can 100% guarantee there'll be more, and you have to get ahead of it. Use the Fear Removal technique before you do TacFit, once a week ONLY.

If you don't remember:
1) be in a private space. Spend ten minutes thinking of your very worst case scenario. Really let yourself get scared, angry, guilty, whatever--do this until you are crying openly, and really feel the emotions.
2) Begin TacFit IMMEDIATELY. Just perform it. Don't think about the worst case any more. Just follow the directions. Tire yourself out enough to reach "second wind". This last part is CRITICAL. You must reach "second wind" at least once.
3) Work for flow. Follow your breaths, seek proper form, let the magic in TacFit do the rest.

Every time you do this, you should notice your fear decreasing by about 30%. This technique is absolute dynamite. Remember that you have decades of encysted emotion, hon. There is a way out, but you're going to have to process the pain. This will do the job incredibly well.

You need to figure that you'll be processing your emotions the rest of your life. It's what we all have to do, X. You have some special challenges, but nothing you can't handle.

much love,
Steve

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The important things to consider about the above:

1) When you wear armor to protect your emotions, as it begins to slip away, you WILL experience the fear. And that fear WILL sabotage your efforts unless you have coping mechanisms in place BEFORE YOU REACH THE FEAR. Get ahead of the curve.

2) Any aerobic exercise that takes you through second wind will work for the "Fear Removal" technique. For several reasons, "TacFit Warrior" is perfect, but you can also use dancing, running, Bikram yoga, or hitting the heavy bag (my favorite!)

3) Fear will hide as anger, guilt, and shame. Don't be fooled. What happened to you in childhood was NOT your fault. Every child has the right to be protected from predators, bullies, and neglect. Be that as it may, it is now your responsibility to heal yourself, or your life will slip away from you.

God bless the wounded children.

Within Darkness, the Light

Moving van arrives tomorrow. Chaos abounds. Too many moving parts in my life. My only course is to go deeper within, and trust that somewhere within the clutter, pain and anger there is peace. This has always been true in the past, and that is a good reason to believe it will be true in the future as well. It is the present that must sustain me.

During meditation, made contact with a very young Stevie avatar last week...he's been elusive since, but I don't think that's a problem. What I did this morning was check into a basic three-chakra meditation, using Belly Brain, Heart Center and Head Center as my floating targets. If I can visualize a mirror image, and see the balls of light clearly, I can do a trick: float up above my head and look DOWN through the three centers, see if there is overlap, if there is a Vin Diagram style core of pure light, indicating the degree to which my physical energy, emotions and intellect are all moving in the same direction.

As a "complex equivalent", this can be hella generative, and even the effort to find them is productive and healing, reminding me that my only way through this is to take control of those things I CAN control--my emotions and perceptions--and let the rest be what it is.

If you were judged by your actions more than your words and your words more than your intents or feelings...how would you look?

Pity the poor Latvians

I find myself irritated by the suggestion that one cannot look into a work of art and make judgments about the artist. Specifically, this comment arises often when a comment is made about a writer excluding or making negative images concerning women, gays or minorities. The same defenses arise about film makers, and probably playwrights and even graphic artists.

The common defense is that "he was creating for a bigoted audience." Or "she was lampooning the attitudes of her time."

Well...maybe. Twain in "Huckleberry Finn" certainly is asking his audience to question their attitudes toward race. He does this by contrasting Huck's assumptions with Jim's actions and words. In other words, as God in the universe of his story, Twain gives Jim inwardness, a quality of humanity and intelligence separate from Huck's (and the culture's) assumptions.

Margaret Mitchell in "Gone With the Wind" does not--her slaves are pretty much exactly what their masters--and Mitchell--think they are. Potatoes, solid all the way through. Simple creatures happy with their lot in life.

This rather noxious attitude, I think, slips into the recent "Never Let Me Go," the movie about clones bred to provide organ transplants for their masters. Raised in the equivalent of English boarding schools, they are informed of this fact when about fifteen years old. Not one protests. Not one runs away. They are not supervised, really, and in later years given freedom of movement and opportunity to drive around the country and meet "normal people." Not a single one refuses the burden. Not one has to be corrected, re-programmed, brought back in chains. None. One of them goes off and screams at one point. That's it.

It is tempting to wonder if the artists, the writers and director, who are God in this world--shared attitudes with the fictional society they depict. I suspect this may be true: I've seen about two dozen comments in defense of "Never Let Me Go" and every one seemed to hold the belief that you can actually program human beings to behave this way: without hypnosis, drugs, or brain surgery. If you just "train" them properly, while, they'll jump into your oven and let you cook them like Al Capp's Shmoos. Every one. Without exception.

That means that there are LOTS of people out there who really do hold that opinion. Reasonable to suspect that the set of people who think other human beings can be conditioned like cattle (actually that's rude to cattle. Slaughter houses are set up so that the cows at the end of the line can't see what's happening to the ones at the front. Even cows, warned ahead of time, will moo and stampede.)

They believe that oppressed peoples can actually be programmed to accept and even embrace the conditions of oppression WITHOUT A SINGLE ONE REBELLING. Wow. I'll make it clear: that is one of the most poisonous, damaging, unsupportable views of humanity I've ever heard, and I've heard it all my life. It is exactly what royalty, slave masters, and the upper classes in England, Japan, India, the Old South, or men who embrace a sexist society want to believe. This goes way beyond "Trickle Down" economics or Randian supermen. "They" down at the bottom are perfectly happy. If only those outside agitators would leave "them" alone, all would be well. A place for everyone and everyone in his place...

Without one single person protesting.

Yuck. Now, I can't really determine anything for sure about the people involved with "Never Let Me Go." But I'll tell you, if I caught this popping up two more times in their work, I'd need to see contrary, balancing images to convince me that this was not their actual world view.

I've run into this with comments about writers and editors, in some cases great writers or entire genres of writing. Yeah, that one. Why, the exclusion of group X was just a matter of selling to a prejudiced audience. The derogatory images of groupY were just lampooning bigoted attitudes. The depictions of violence against group Z were just pandering to style or politics.

This seems to arise from some bizarre need to believe that artists, writers, directors, editors, or whatever are better than ordinary people. They can't be "like us." Guess again. Yes, they are like us. Exactly like us. They ARE us. They are on average no more conscious, aware, alert, humane, mature, or intelligent than average. The best of them are certainly as focused, skilled and intelligent as highly skilled professionals in other fields. But that doesn't make them less vulnerable to the diseases of ego and fear--the root of so many human ills.

Cracks me up when I hear first-time convention goers talking about "wow! Such and such writer was just a regular guy..."

Yeah, he was. A regular guy who has expended his life energy and attention to developing a very specific set of skills. The same effort and attention could have brought him success in any number of other fields. It is admirable. It does not make him or her invulnerable to the ills that have plagued mankind since the beginning.

If you never mention Latvians in your writing, they aren't on your map. If you consistently present Latvians as inferior, or you arrange events so that Latvians die disproportionately to other groups, it is fair to wonder about your attitude toward Latvians. If you love Latvians and for the sake of money consistently exclude or defame them, you are a whore. If you defend your favorite director or genre that excludes or defames Latvians, claiming that any negative images were totally driven by the audience--you are blind, and probably have difficulty understanding human motivations in other arenas as well.

If no Latvians are employed in the entertainment, communication or artistic arena of your choice, and you think this is because "Latvians aren't interested" without asking Latvians if that is true, you aren't interested in learning the truth. If you think this despite actual, real-world Latvians actually saying they would LOVE to be in this industry, you are deluded.

If you believe that Latvians are not represented in an industry do to lack of capacity, you have a specific prejudice. It may or may not be true...but disguising your true opinion (Latvians just don't have what it takes) beneath a politically correct veneer is cowardice.

What are we? As human beings, the closest an outsider can come to understanding who we are is by watching our actions. For an artist, writer, director, the art produced is action. Insisting that "I Spit On Your Grave" was a Feminist tract, despite the fact that real actual women mostly found it loathsome and sexist is probably a failure of logic.

Sexism, racism, homophobia and other stuff is so culturally condemned that people would rather consider someone a total opportunistic sociopath than a bigot. Wallace's infamous "I'll never be out-niggered again" is a classic example of this. I've actually had people offer this as a DEFENSE of Wallace. As if triggering and supporting racist beliefs that destroyed hopes dreams and lives JUST TO GET ELECTED, even if he didn't actually "hate" black people somehow makes sense. Somehow makes him...more human. Dear God. No, it doesn't. It makes him a monster instead of merely someone with a world view saying one group is better than another, something utterly typical of human beings. That would simply be a vulnerability to the nearly-universal tendency to place your group--whatever it is--above others and then collect beliefs and values that support this need, born in the infantile desire to belief your daddy is the toughest, your mommy the prettiest, your family the best.

We love our artists. We do not serve them by allowing them to express their damage without comment, or with excuses. No, you probably cannot judge an artist by a single piece of work. But the scope of it? The attitudes, images, representations and plot turns in dozens or even hundreds of works? Really?

If we cannot judge someone by their life's work...what in the world CAN we judge them by? Either they are telling their truth, or have no moral fiber at all. I say it is critical to include the artist in judgment of the art. Of course many artists don't want this--it gives them no where to hide, and we desperately want people to accept our story about ourselves, rather than actually judging our actions. And make no mistake: everyone judges everything around them. Everyone around them.

By what are we to be judged, if not our actions?

I wonder if the % of adults who think kids' values are worthless is different from the % of kids who think the same thing of their elders.

juggling projects requires priorities, rotation, and making clean breaks between actions. Emotional and mental centering is critical.

Alien life discovered? NO JOKE.
http://ping.fm/RE6eh

Diamond Hour Radio!
Today, March 5, 2011 1:00 PM PST
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(724) 444-7444
Subject: Flow and performance

The Bourne-Again Identity

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

About three quarters of the way through this totally satisfying fantasy film (and make no mistake: this is Twilight Zone, not Outer Limits territory we're talking about) the filmmakers seemed to remember that this was an American film, and shifted into an action tempo, triggering the pun above.

It fits in the sense that this is a thriller that deals with existential issues that have been wrestled with since time immemorial, probably most familiar to American audiences as Christian theology concerning free will. But that is far too limited a scope.

From the moment Congressman David Norris (Matt Damon) meets VERY cute with dancer Elise Sellas (Emily Blunt) the sparks fly, and she inspires him to give a career-saving speech. He encounters her again three years later, and the romance is definitely "on" until Norris is informed by mysterious hat-wearing, unsmiling men (all members of the "Adjustment Bureau" seem to be male. Make of this what you will) that his life has been shaped by powers beyond his control, and he must never see Elise again.

What follows is a mystery, a suspense, a touching love story, an exciting chase. Beautifully acted and directed, especially by the attractive leads. Damon is the best "extraordinary everyman" since Harrison Ford, and if someone wanted to remake "Mr Smith Goes To Washington" I could absolutely see him doing it. Based on a Phillip K. Dick short story ("Adjustment Team") this is a fine piece of philosophical fantasy. Any attempts to actually make sense of this as a science fiction piece would, I think, rapidly devolve to confusion (the "Adjustment Team" knows everything and has apparently infinite technology...but can't give this guy a Roofie so he'll forget the last hour of his life, and meeting this chick? Really?) but if you go with it as a straight-faced fairy tale, it is just...just a terrific film. Heck, there is even a very obvious black Spiritual Guide aspect, and I didn't give a hoot.

I love movies like this, that ask us about love, and will, and fate. Love writers who demand that we work a little for our answers. I've already seen debates about whether "Adjustment Bureau" is SF or fantasy, yada yada.

What I think is that if they believe the original author really cared about niceties like Heinleinian definitions...they don't know Dick.

An "A", and not just for effort.

Corporations, as quasi-living "beings" have different priorities than the human beings who work for them. Forget this at your peril.

Diamond Hour Radio!
Saturday, March 5, 2011 1:00 PM Pacific
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(724) 444-7444
Subject: Flow.

Pot is like a lazy, friendly dog. Cocaine is a wolf. It is waiting for you to make the mistake of thinking it is a dog. Wake up, Charlie

No one can insult you without your permission.

An interview I did six years ago...
http://ping.fm/dFqse

Set goals in all three Earthly areas of your life. As you move toward them, you'll hit walls. Map the maze, and find your way out.

59 Years ago today, my mom did me a serious solid by bringing me into the world. Anything I've ever done, or ever hope to be, I owe to her.

I bought some eco-friendly fireplace logs Oscar night. And took them back immediately. I've seen baby underwear that was more flammable.

The only reason to Union-bust is if CEOs are innately more moral and honest than common workers. Why the heck would I believe that?

"The Bodyguard" is being remade. And Eastwood is directing "A Star Is Born" with Beyonce and maybe Gerard Butler. Anyone see a pattern?

When wondering whether you should pursue your dreams, answer the following question: "How long am I going to be dead?"

The End Is A Beginning

A friend and comrade, animation's gentle giant Dwayne McDuffie (Static Shock, Ben 10) , has passed away. We all deal with grief in our own way. I do it by committing to giving as much, loving as much, fulfilling as many of my dreams as possible. Making the world a better place than I found it.

So...no ads today. No talking about anything trivial. The core of this stuff is to live your life so that both the youngest/most passionate and optimistic and the oldest/wisest most practical parts of your personality agree with your actions and associations.

To have the little child you once were look at you and smile. And have the eldest you, watching from your deathbed, also smile. To live every day as if it is your last, but study and learn as if you will live forever.

To live your life in alignment with your deepest values, your truest Self. This requires constant digging, constant cleaning of the perceptual lens. To strive to be adult and awake. To balance fear and love within your heart. To work with joy, and daily refine your energy. To be intellectually alive, emotionally whole, and animalistically alive...our goals, values, actions and beliefs all working in alignment. To strive to be 1% more aligned and coherent every week. Just 1%. To live in awareness that life ends, and let that knowledge sweeten every day, every association, every action.

To waste no slightest drop of this precious life we've been given.

Dwayne was one of the good guys. Period. I thought I was going to be seeing him today, at a comic store signing. I was going to introduce him to my wife. Tell him again how much I admired and appreciated him. It is too late, dammit. It is too late.

Thank God I'd already said those things. But when your loved ones and friends and associates pass on, it never feels like enough.

Steve

To change your life have:
1) Goals
2) Motivation transceding ego
3) New Tools
4) Allies
5) A commitment to getting back up when you fail

The Diamond Hour
Saturday, February 19, 2011 1:00 PM Pacific
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(724) 444-7444
NLP and Changing Beliefs

All athletes surf the edge of overtraining. My personal test is the quality of sleep. I can usually drop out within 20 deep breaths.

The Diamond Hour Saturday, Feb19, 2011 1:00 PM PST http://ping.fm/KnJzC
Hypnosis, NLP, Changing beliefs (724) 444-7444

The Diamond Hour
Saturday, Feb19, 2011 1:00 PM PST
http://ping.fm/KnJzC
Hypnosis, consciousness, NLP
(724) 444-7444

If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been.
~ Robert H. Schuller

Humans are endlessly amusing, especially when they are asleep, dreaming that they are awake.

Musashi's First Principle: Do Not Think Dishonestly. Lying to others is bad enough. But lying to yourself destroys your life.

Egypt's army was forced to choose between their boss and their families. A prime example of why you do NOT want a mercenary military.

Mubarak has stepped down. Whoa!

Practice the small, important skills until they become automatic. At that point, your skills seem to practice you.

Stress, Strain, and Goals

"Chronically high levels of cortisol can induce neuron death in the hippocampus, important in so many of the neural pathways important for human life..." a lovely bit of info from the "Understanding the Brain" course I'm studying right now. Cortisol is related to stress-strain. Preventing stress from becoming strain, therefore, is a critical skill necessary to achieve potential. For those of us who believe (or experience) that "becoming" is a powerful pathway to happiness and meaning in life, this MUST be mastered.

In other words, if you have a dream, first determine if it can be transformed into a goal. A goal has a clearly defined end point (what will it look like?), can be approached incrementally (how much will you do every week?), is something you can actually believe to be possible, (who else has accomplished something comparable?) and can be placed on a time line (when will it be accomplished?)

Tad Stones' "Time Line" approach to goals suggests that you must have your value hierarchies, beliefs, and positive/negative emotional anchors all aligned in order to move toward your goals. While this gives you fuller access to your abilities, the list of other things is finite but intimidating: role models, clear images of end point, internal permission, positive associations with success and negative associations with failure, team building, error checking, resistance to "failure", emotional endurance and perceptual flexibility are among the skills that must be garnered along the way.

From the number of things that have to be mastered (really not much more than are needed to bake from scratch) it is easy to see why frustration will be an inevitable component of the process. High levels of energy are needed in order to feel that we can begin again, and again, and again if necessary (and it WILL be necessary!)

The stress-strain equation says that stress is NOT the problem. Stress is in fact the trigger for action and change that begins the evolutionary process. It is "strain" the system must avoid. So...you have to define your goal, admit that it would hurt to fail, and commit yourself. But you have to have systems in place to prevent the stress from kicking your butt.

However you organize this in your life, you need to have it, and you need to have it operating at the level of unconscious competence. I've found breathing to be the fastest, most powerful way of coping with this, programming in a re-integrative response by associating the fear-stress of cardio respiratory distress with that of life stress, fear, threat, etc.

In other words, your daily meditation or mindful breathing exercise, whether formal prayer, meditation, yoga, running or CST, becomes a rapid-feedback microcosm of your long-term attempts to build career, relationships, or prepare yourself to have a good death.

Who we are as human beings is expressed more clearly in our actions, our consistent, daily behaviors (and aberrations) than anything else: rumors, self-concept, hallucinations, social roles, or whatever. In order to reach any worthwhile goal, we have to dig down to the bedrock of our emotions, to the primal fear and love, and align them so that the fear, which never completely vanishes, drives us forward, and our love pulls us. So that the inevitable "failures" give us feedback without crippling negative emotion. That our inner voices are a cheering section and a circle of mentors rather than a chorus of nay-sayers playing "crabs in a basket". That our ego, which dies repeatedly as we change our actions and beliefs, can be eased into its grave rather than dragging our dreams with it.

It's a fascinating game. As complex and complicated as we choose to make it, or as simple: put your fear behind you, your love in front of you, and run like hell.

No one can insult you without your permission.

Be a dreamer. A friend once told me I had the unnerving habit of building dream castles...and then moving into them.

Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. ~ Scott Adams

I'm thinking about climbing Kilimanjaro next year. Had planned to do it seven years ago, but substituted a nature trip to the veldt instead.

Evil begins when we assume ourselves to have greater humanity, or a richer internal experience, than others.

Brain's consumption of oxygen during REM sleep is greater than during intense physical exercise! Protect your sleep...and live your dream.

"Music heard so deeply that it is not heard at all, but you are the music while the music lasts." T.S. Eliot

Inner Synergy

Understanding the amydalic response to fear is helping us deal with phobias, guilt, emotional pain, prejudice, and other disorders. Due to early imprinting, people have powerful aversive response to inappropriate stimulus. The usual treatments include drugs to suppress the programming, and then therapy to allow the frontal lobes to reprogram the response.

These stress responses were designed to help us escape a tiger...not to deal with the daily hammering of bills or social stress. The Limbic system is our friend, evolutionarily. And can rip us apart in modern life.

Exercise combined with powerful emotion can have a magical effect, tapping into that circuitry. Instead of long-term grinding stress, you are faced with the momentary, immediate need to perform. You brain understands this!

Instead of a cascade of corrosive hormones, you tap into fuel and burn it in the fire of your commitment. Your brain understands this!

Instead of a chorus of disparate voices, pulling you in all directions, as you work steadily and relentlessly toward a simple attainable goal, fatigue burns away everything but the need to breath, move, take one more step. Your brain understands this!

Instead of locking your pain, disappointment, anxiety, resentment and anger into a tangle of poisonous emotions, you can deal with your body's need for oxygen, a fear that dwarfs all others. Deal with this one, and you learn the secret of dealing with all of them.

Face every day as an empty canvas, presented to your mind and heart for your deepest expression. Empty your dreams onto the blank slate. Focus on the aspects you can handle today. Do what you can, and trust that as you take steps through the fog it disperses just enough to reveal what the NEXT step must be. And the next. And the next.

Mind, body, and heart were intended to be used together. Each is dependent upon the other two. Synergy is the law of the inner world.

We rarely move far from the values and morality they learned in childhood. Raise your children well--childhood is the root for all of life.

Emotion and Personal Growth

The Orbital Frontal Cortex of the brain is centrally involved in making moral, personal decisions. This is part of our evidence that the limbic system, and the emotions, are centrally connect to our sense of morality. What is "right" or "wrong" for us, for society, for our families. As anyone who has listened to highly politicized conversation knows, our moral and emotional filters not only color our world, but actually seem to control the flow of information to our logic centers. People will delete information contrary to their moral, emotional...(and possibly political) views of the world.

In order to not merely survive but thrive in the world, it is important that our emotions, our intellect, and our physical beings all move "in the same direction" much as the light-waves in a laser beam must coordinate in order to punch through a diamond.

"Self defeating" behavior is legendary. Trying to lose weight when you have a deep belief that being sexual is sinful or dangerous is futile. Trying to advance your financial career when you believe money is evil or corrupting or destructive is incredibly frustrating. Trying to maintain a personal relationship while dealing with deep feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness is a study in sabotage.

You can learn to control your emotions by controlling the images and sensations your mind uses to create them. This is one of the valuable things about meditation: when you get quiet enough, the images and sensations that make up the pre-verbal thought matrix will present themselves. By noting the sequence with which your old memories arise, you can begin to sense the way that your mind organizes reality to create your emotional states. Your emotions control your mental correlation and absorption of data. And these two in combination control your physical actions.

Emotion is most primary, but few people have direct access to them. The physical doorway is brilliantly effective, because you are already taking action--"stacking" emotional images and psychological attitudes while in exercise-induced high energy states has been used to program human beings for uncounted centuries. You can use it yourself, remembering that most (if not all--I personally have never run across one that does not) religions will modify the breathing at some point in their training, often playing around with the edge of oxygen debt so that you learn how to suppress panic. Learn to enter physical flow and you learn how to tip-toe past fears and internal voices.

But it is also possible to learn to increase this body-mind-emotion alignment by setting goals that challenge and stretch you. Scare you a little. Start with little ones, incremental goals that you can accomplish in a day or a week--rapid feedback is vital.

When you keep a goal, it is a promise to yourself. Celebrate. If you don't keep it, then chalk the result up to research. You have just experienced your sabotage mechanism. How did it work? How did it use your emotions against you? How did it use your environment to confuse you?

It is critical to judge without being attached to what you see here. To take a surgeon's detachment. There was something your mind wanted, your body had to do, and your emotions had to support.

If you can learn a little something new about your mind, emotions and physicality every day of your life, before long you'll be operating at a level of integration that baffles most people. There is nothing really extraordinary about it. It is the natural, healthy way of functioning. Our old programming, flawed self concepts and emotional baggage make it seem otherwise.

Healing Rage

I love the 101. Originally planned as a paying project, I intended to test it on a group for six months, and then take it commercial. It's been three years. The results have been so good that I can't bring myself to charge for it. Yeah, I know that's weird. But its true. I'll make money doing other things. This feels like my gift to the world.

Why? Read the following, posted today by one of my students. This is good, solid, meaningful work.

############

This is turning into a very different round. Last round I kept myself off of any supplementary self-help books in order to really focus on the program (I have a history of self-sabotage by exposing myself to more wisdom than I can absorb.)

This round, it's like my slate's been cleared for some serious supplemental work.

So, late in last round, I started getting a real clear look at my own worst side. It was like I'd at last discovered my inner child, and she was "a fat, sulky, spoiled fat year old who felt totally entitled to take from the world to make up for her pain." You should have seen my therapist dress me down for saying that-- I recall her words ending that conversation as "the age was the only part you got right in that description."

So in the meantime, the first of the self-help books I picked up, put back down, and put on hold until 2011 came in. Ruth King's _Healing Rage_. (For all you writers out there, _Healing Rage_ started as a self-published book that was supposed to come and go like a shooting star... until a copy fell into Alice Walker's hands and she declared it one of the most important books she'd ever read.)

So I ate up the first chapter and the second and totally delighted in the whole book right up until the little quiz where Ruth King gets the reader to identify the particular major disguise that the reader uses to cover her Rage: Dominance (active Fight), Defiance (reactive Fight), Devotion (active Flight), Distraction (reactive Flight), Dependence (active Freeze) and Depression (reactive Freeze).

I tested Dependence. I don't want to write that here, I don't want to share that with y'all, I don't want to listen to it myself, and if I had read the book two weeks-- just two weeks before I did... I absolutely would not have believed it.
But I could not ignore the results in the book exactly matching the journal notes I'd been making on what I see as I become able to see myself at my worst.

So, meanwhile, my therapist sends me home with a new sheet she'd entitled "Core Beliefs". I'm calling them "Fear Languages". You heard of the idea that we have primary "Love Languages"-- that if a Touch person isn't getting Touch all the good Words in the world won't get through, etc.? Well, this was a sheet of primal-level personal Fears-- that particular Fear that if it gets twanged, you're not hearing anything else, you're not thinking any longer, you are in the maelstrom.

Took us about ten seconds to figure out my Core Fear is Helplessness.

So-- the persona with which I face the world, the way I structure social situations around my Rage... is Dependence.
And the trigger condition which will totally unhinge me, is Helplessness.

Let's think about how those two constructs work in tandem.

I think I'm due an honorary engineering degree for this one.

So, that was the background. This week's breakthrough, I took a long hard look at what went well and what didn't on my first chaplaincy shifts, and nailed the tail of what didn't go well as it tried to shrink away. I didn't introduce myself to the chief nurse of my unit because the nurses were too busy to disturb. Uh-uh. That's not an observation, that there is an excuse: nurses are always busy. If I stay "nice" and "quiet" and "out of the way", my unit's chief nurse is never going to know me the way he or she needs to; I have to come out behind the mask to do this job right.

I have just reached the point where what I have consciously chosen to do with my life has locked horns with what I have unconsciously chosen to do with my life.

Plus, there's been a metric ton of schoolwork that I can barely keep up with.

###

Steve here again. Whoa. If this student takes action, she will experience genuine growth. Information that does not affect behavior has little value. I suspect there's gold in them thar words.

I'm thinking about getting my first tattoo...a little Musashi image on my left forearm. Just a little something to think on.

Goals must be accompanied by seething, burning emotion to motivate us. Don't just recite them, BREATHE and MOVE them, with joy and passion.

All it takes to get everything you need is everything you've got.

Drugs and alcohol disrupt the feedback loop that helps us govern behavior. We didn't evolve to "feel good" even when we perform poorly.

Quadraplegics undergo personality change, due to lack of motor feedback. We "forget" how our bodies work due to inactivity or obesity.

Sorcery

Last night I attended a screening of director William Friedkin's classic "Sorcerer", a little-seen adventure film starring Roy Scheider as a man on an impossible mission. It is a gritty, nasty, impeccably made film doomed to obscurity probably for the sin of using a supernaturally suggestive title designed to sucker in fans of "The Exorcist." Audiences resented the bait-and-switch, and a perfectly beautiful adventure film got exiled to the slag-heaps of history.

More on that later. But one thing that happened during the Q & A afterward (hosted by Oscar nominee Josh Olson, a lovely guy) was that Friedkin was asked what advice he has for young filmmakers. He didn't hesitate a moment: "Watch Alfred Hitchcock" he said, and then went into a short lecture on the critical importance of modeling the expert work of the masters.

I've talked about this again and again. There is nothing sadder than talking to an amateur, unpublished writer who will not read, for fear that she will accidentally imitate that writer. This is so incredibly wrong-headed, almost exactly the opposite of the successful approach. Invariably, the "best" in any field have an encyclopedic knowledge of those who have come before. Listening to Mike Tyson talk about the vast library of fight films he studied as a teen-ager is a revelation: no, the man was not just a physical marvel and an emotional wrecking machine. He was also a scholar of his sport.

From an NLP perspective, what are the three things you must examine when studying the work of an expert?

1)Belief systems. What does the expert believe about his craft? It's importance? Meaning? The origin of his creativity and focus? What does the expert believe about the nature of human existence? The purpose of life? The worth of art and commerce?

What you are looking for is the DIFFERENCE between the beliefs of successful people, and the beliefs held by...well, not to put too fine a line on it, failures. And it doesn't matter what the arena is...those who succeed have different beliefs from those who fail. Always. In business: failures don't match their actions to their abilities. Try too much or too little. Blame external circumstances with beliefs like "it takes money to make money" and "money is the root of all evil" and so forth. Writers who fail blame the market, avoid submitting their stories for fear of rejection, and so forth.

In relationships, they exhibit an inability to separate their specific and individual experiences from broad-based beliefs about an entire gender. Women and men who harbor the worst kinds of negative stereotypes about each other, or resort to dishonesty in an attempt to get sex. Who, in other words, have no confidence that honesty and openness will be rewarded. They look at their past failures as meaning either that there is something wrong with the opposite sex, or there is something "unfixable" about themselves. Very unfortunate.

And physically, of course...well, I don't want to go into some of the horribly self-defeating internal dialogue people have about their bodies. We store so much negative emotion here that it is rare someone will try to lose weight or gain muscle without a boatload of negative voices trying to convince you that body shifting is impossibly complex, or too risky, or too painful.

We've talked about these things before, but it is critical that you understand the impact of your belief systems on your behaviors.

And by the way: what could one learn about Hitchcock's beliefs from his films? Look at the way he was both hypnotized by, and wary of, human sexuality. Study "Saboteur" or "North By NorthWest" for some clues about patriotism, social obligation, even romance and human psychology. Hitch worked with his writers deeply and carefully, and his influence can be felt in every line of dialogue, every frame of film. By studying Hitch, it is possible to sense the interaction of elements you may not have even considered.

I repeat: if you want to increase your skill and success in a given arena, study the work and lives of people who are more successful than you. Associate with them. Note what they talk about, how they speak of their arenas.

Then...if you have the stomach for it, specifically study the attitudes and work of those who fail in your chosen arena. I promise you: their emotional attitudes are very different, whether it is about relationships, fitness, or success.

Study your arena, and make your choice.

King knew what he was willing to die for...and that empowered his existence. What are YOU willing to die for? The answer will define you.

The Diamond Hour
Saturday, January 15, 2011 1:00 PM pst
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(724) 444-7444

The Diamond Hour
Saturday, Jan 15, 1:00 PM pst
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(724) 444-7444
Second-Chakra energy and
TACFIT Warrior

The Diamond Hour
Sat, Jan 15, 1:00 PM pst
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Consciousness, Fitness, and Fun.
TACFIT Warrior!

Flow And Performance

Flow and performance

As long as you have a body, you will have an ego, a self-representation that is "you" for all practical purposes. It is composed of all your self-concepts, everything you have ever thought of yourself, everything you've ever been told by anyone you trusted or needed to please.

It is a mosaic formed of a million opinions, a cocoon spun from a million threads, and both protects and limits. You know this is truth: every time you've ever performed at total peak level, the normal "you" wasn't there at all. For me, this can feel like "stepping aside" or even better, there is no awareness of self at all, only the Thing Itself.

The doorway into this state is Flow. Flow might be considered the lowest level esoteric state...or the highest state of "ordinary" awareness. It can be described as dissolution of the subject-object relationship, the melting of boundaries and the conquest of time. It is "the danger zone, where the dancer becomes the dance" in those fine, enlightened words from "Flashdance."

We experience flow as the mind shifting from digital to analogue, from words to images, from images to sensations. I've experienced this in many ways: In writing, I melt into the page. In running, it feels as if I'm standing still, and the rest of the world is moving around me. In Tai Chi, I am standing still and the universe is folding me like origami. In sex, the artificial difference between the lover and the beloved vanishes as orgasm approaches. In driving, time vanishes and I reach home with little awareness of the intervening events. In fighting, there is no fight--just a dance of pressure, vector, and intent, two people engaged in, for a brief moment, becoming a single event.

Flow is flow. Whereever you find it in your life, watch "from the corner of your eye" as it were, to see how you are breathing, sitting, holding your facial expressions. And seek that same sense of relaxed focus in other arenas. Seek grace, focus, and form in all aspects of life. Seek peace in intensity.

If you have honor, nothing else matters. If you have no honor, nothing else matters.--
Scott Sonnon

Look. I'm a Liberal, but...

In listening to rhetoric about the Arizona shootings, I've picked up something that disturbs me. No, I'm not trying to make an equivalency between the actions of Left and Right. I'm merely commenting that there's something that makes me glad I'm not very political. It is this: on every Right-wing talk show there is insistence that talk had nothing to do with it. And on every Left-wing talk show, there is insistence that the Righties are lying sacks of shit.

And in the midst of all this, a simple question seems to have been forgotten: what will make this a safer world for nine-year-old girls? Remember after 9/11, when for a short period of time the whole world sympathized with us, and the Left stated (correctly, in my opinion) that America squandered an opportunity to take the high road, target the killers with surgical precision and use that cultural capital to build a safer world?

Well, something like that is happening right now. Every sane human being I've heard (and that is 99% of either Right or Left) has been appalled by the death of Christina Green. From a martial arts perspective, there is an opportunity to "Aikido" this: to look at the shared future and values held by everyone worth giving a damn about in this or any country. "Tone down the rhetoric on both sides" accomplishes EXACTLY what we want. Who cares if your damn feelings are hurt, because you think that implies that "your" side is equally to blame? What is it you're trying to accomplish: making the world safer, increasing the civility in political discourse and stopping the demonization...or being "right"? People die in bar fights every damn day because they had to be "right."

Here's the fact: whether they are responsible or not, NO TALK SHOW HOST IS GOING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for this without opening himself to legal action or civil liability. Never. Doesn't matter whether that person was Liberal or Conservative. It is simply absurd to expect someone to say "we caused this" without multi-million dollar law suits. So when you point and scream: "take the blame" you know very well you aren't accomplishing anything other than feeling "right" and counting coup. On the other hand, if you say: "both sides need to calm the rhetoric", you give everyone, regardless of guilt or innocence, protective coloration and the safety to drop their guard. Exhale and return to neutral corners. Consider what has happened here, and remember that we are all Americans, and most of us are mothers and fathers who love nine year old girls.

If the girl is important, be kind. Be gentle and remember that no fighter drops his hands while the other guy is still swinging. If you insist on swinging, then you are more interested in your ego than in the safety of children.

Of course, as Dennis Miller said back when he was funny, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Steve

Sex and Consciousness
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The real reason "mankind" might not ever embrace Utopia is that no two people have exactly the same definition of what it is.

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