The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Within Darkness, the Light

Moving van arrives tomorrow. Chaos abounds. Too many moving parts in my life. My only course is to go deeper within, and trust that somewhere within the clutter, pain and anger there is peace. This has always been true in the past, and that is a good reason to believe it will be true in the future as well. It is the present that must sustain me.

During meditation, made contact with a very young Stevie avatar last week...he's been elusive since, but I don't think that's a problem. What I did this morning was check into a basic three-chakra meditation, using Belly Brain, Heart Center and Head Center as my floating targets. If I can visualize a mirror image, and see the balls of light clearly, I can do a trick: float up above my head and look DOWN through the three centers, see if there is overlap, if there is a Vin Diagram style core of pure light, indicating the degree to which my physical energy, emotions and intellect are all moving in the same direction.

As a "complex equivalent", this can be hella generative, and even the effort to find them is productive and healing, reminding me that my only way through this is to take control of those things I CAN control--my emotions and perceptions--and let the rest be what it is.


Anonymous said...

Sometimes the only way out is through the chaos, to darkness -- and scattered light.

Steve Perry said...

You driving out or flying and having the cars shipped?

Sarah said...

Good luck with your move! They are always chaos no matter how much you prepare or how many times you do it. I've found when I move it helps to locate the familiar in the new place like libraries and bookstores and favorite kinds of foods. Pick a place to walk or run every day and in a couple of weeks or a month it seems like you've always known it.
Best of wishes and safe travels.