the Hero's Journal #2

Hero Rejects the Challenge.
Why?  Because a challenge great enough to really expand you, or move you to the next level, will threaten your ego. Such a change is interpreted as "death," and will trigger the same fear response.  I remember attending a sexual magic workshop once, and all I was being asked to do was go back to my cabin and make love to a beautiful woman. I freaked out, and had such an extreme fear response that it felt as if I was going to die in the morning.   If this seems rediculous, you have to grasp what sexual magic is.  If you've never experienced it, consider that there are countless discipllines that alter consciousness through control of breathing alone.  Modifying the body's orgasmic response is exponentially more powerful.  The intensity of an orgasm is in direct proportion to the amount of your ego you release at that moment.  In other words, the more YOU are there, the less the pleasure is.  There should be a momentary sense of dissolution of ego boundaries between you and the lover, or you're doin' it wrong, friend.  Now, in such a workshop, we were playing with this response in fascinating and direct ways.  In other words, we were creating a Pavlovian Stimulus-Response loop between an egoless state and the most powerful positive sensation your body is capable of experiencing.  The ego, knowing it cannot compete, strikes back with its strongest weapon: fear of death.  I asked Swift Deer, the workshop leader, what I should do.  He said I should go out and talk to a tree.
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For those of you who don't know, the "Talk to the Tree" exercise  is done something like this.  Find a friendly-looking tree along a moderately-traveled road. Connect with it emotionally. Then wait until another human being walks by. Note the way your posture and carriage and facial expression shift as soon as there is another person.  This is the "mask", the ego weight you carry to conceal your true self from the world.  It is the cost you pay for being inauthentic.  One of the secrets to Mastery is to be the same way with people as you are with the tree.
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Well, I leaned my head against that tree, and sobbed my eyes out.  And I found my self saying, (to the tree.  Believe me, I know how nutty this sounds): "how can you do it?  how can you jsut be the same, no matter what?  Whether it's hot or cold, whether it's snowy or rainy or the sun is shining, whether they love you or hate you, how can you just be the same?"  And in some odd tree way, it answered me.  "I'm just a tree, man," it said.  "My roots go down, my branches go up.  I'm just me.  I can't be anything else."  Implicitly: so why try to be?
I got it.  And went back up to finish the exercise, and finished the rest of the workshop.
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But we do.  And the fear of dying, of shattering the ego walls, paralyzes us.  F.E.A.R.  We've all heard it: False Evidence that Appears Real.  And there's another acronym just as accurate but less appropriate for mixed audiences: F%$# Everything And Run.
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But running brings us to another, and incredibly powerful exercise for dealing with fear.  It requires that you have a physical activity that will take you into second wind.  Walking, running, clubbells, kettlebells, jumping rope, swimming, all will work.  This exercise, taught to me by Coach Sonnon, is so powerful it is almost like magic. 
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all right. 
1) Sit for 10 minutes and bring the emotion of fear into your body.  Powerfully directly.  Imagine worst-case scenarios, whatever you need, until you are shaking, crying out of your nose, sobbing.
Ten minutes.
2) Now begin your aerobic exercise.  Continue until you reach second wind, and for at least five minutes beyond that place.
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This just flat works.  The reason is that the physiological profile of hormone dump during cardio-respiratory distress is very similar to the hormone dump during extreme fear.  Instead of calling it "Second wind," call it "Second gear"--a cortical response, a neurophysiological adjustment to increase efficiency so that the body can function under the specific stress.   CRD is more primal than any fear you are likely to have locked in your body.  When you take this physical road, you are hitting the "reset" button on your neurology, clearing out years or decades of fear response in minutes.  Bizarre as it sounds, you can get a 20% (approximate, subjective) reduction of fear IN YOUR FIRST SESSION.  Then, of course, practise this a couple of times a week as needed.
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This is an example of a "mastery" technique.  This is not a game, and I am not b.S.-ing you.  You've just had a "hidden secret" placed right in front of you, for free.  All you have to do is try it.  Any aerobic activity that will trigger a "second wind" response will do it (second wind usually kicks in after 13-18 minutes of steady-state exercise).  This is why you MUST engage your body when you seek Master.  The mind will deceive you.  The body, subject to physical rule and laws, cannot.
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The "Five Minute Miracle" will get you started integrating mind and body, the cheapest and most efficient method I know.  Check it out!

Mother of the Matrix

A reader asked me this:
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What's your feeling about the Sophia Stewart Matrix thing. I am black and yet my programming allowed me to be surprised at this revalation regardless of my efforts to clean out the programming of my youth.
Chris | 12.13.04 - 1:40 pm |
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I've seen the controversy, and visited a half-dozen sites talking about it.  Not one of them was specific about what her screenplay contained, only rejoicing that a judge has agreed to look at her case.  Wow.  Folks, this means nothing.  Note that she is suing both the "Matrix" folks and the "Terminator" folks.  Couple of thoughts on this:
1) the major thing in common between these two franchises is that they deal with a revolt of the machines, an idea at least a century old.
2) Cameron was forced to admit that elements of "Terminator" were "borrowed" from Harlan Ellison "Outer Limits" episodes shot in the 60's.  Uh...you'd get me to believe pigs could fly before I believed Harlan stole this lady's work.  Sorry.
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There may be something to this case, but major Hollywood money machines often get sued, usually by people who never create anything else.  It makes me suspicious.  If someone produces a registered screenplay with elements unique and obviously ripped off, I'll be a believer.  Until then, it's just another Hollywood story.

The Hero's Journal #1

1) The Hero is confronted with a challenge

What is your character's steady-state existence?  What do they want?  What do they NEED?  (And only in a fairly evolved person will these two be the same.)  What is the gap between want and need?  Have they accepted responsitility for their existence?  If they are an adult, there is no more excuse for blaming society, parents, or anything else. These things may be problematic, but EVERYONE has a painful history.  Life doesn't care.  Either you use these things as motivations, or you are swept into the Vortex of diminished expectations and results and impact on those you love.   When you wear your dysfunction and pain like a badge of honor, people stop listening.

And this is where your journal comes in.  Truth be told?  I don't care if you're a writer.  That's an excuse to reach out to the world.  Keep a journal anyway.  Write in it every day, and quickly. After a few months, start reading back through it.  If you've written enough, the truth will begin to emerge: it is hard to sustain a lie, even an existential lie.  Note that this blog functions as my journal.  Note how close I come to blaming racial politics for disappointments in my life.  DAMNED close.  I manage to skirt it, most of the time, but it is clear I have damage there, and it's my responsibility to heal it.  Yes, there are cultural problems. No, it makes no difference.  Either I will parent my children, write my books, strengthen my body, and be an adult human being, or I will be a child blaming fate for my pain.  Someone has to be a grown-up, or the children are in grave danger.  I choose to be one of the adults, regardless of the price in honesty.
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If you're a writer, your journal will be your best source of understanding the human condition.    As you go through it, think of the different steps of the Hero's Journey, and how it applies to your life on that particular day.
What have you failed to take ful responsibility for?  Are you still blaming parents/  Society?  Have you accepted responsibility for your physical body,  career, relationships?  Are they healthy? (And you can generally tell if they are healthy by asking yourself if you would want your own children to live that way)
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the challenge is to master your life, to be a free, atonomous, fully alive and awakened adult male or female of the species.  Do you, or do you not accept the challenge? anyone who does, regardless of where they are on the path, is my brother or sister.  Period.
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What do you need to move forward?  Begin to pay the price.  What does your character need to grow to the next level?  Your story will be this very challenge.

Sunday

I did a Bikram Yoga class at 8:00 this morning.  Despite a certain "McYoga" reputation, it is a solidly designed class, well taught (altough I prefer more hands-on) and practised by sincere, nice folks.  I'm looking for a class I can trust Nicki with, and I think I might give it a whirl.  There is less upper-body work than Ashtanga, for sure, which might be an advantage when it comes to recuperation from tough workouts.  The room was heated to 105 degrees, with 60% humidity.  I sweat more than I have in months.  Wow!  I am gonna sleep well tonight, I guarantee you.

Before we begin

All right, I've been talking around it, but now I'm about to lay out a path to using this process, and we're going to go step by step through the stages of the Hero's Journey, and then back for the Chakras.  I'll take side trips from time to time, but it's going to be here.  Before I begin, understand that this is not some kind of cookie-cutter pattern. 
The ten steps of the Hero's Journey are like the 88 keys of a piano. You don't play each of them every time with equal emphasis.  But by understanding what each step represents, it is easy to decide how and when to use them.

FOR NON-WRITERS

Keep a journal, in which you record the events and emotions of the day.  Ask yourself how the dominant patterns of the day relate to the stage of the Hero's Journey we are discussing.  Also, when watching movies and television, or reading, ask yourself where and when the characters engage with a given stage.

Let's get going!

Heartbeat Meditation

The simplest, most powerful and safest meditation I know.  Simply sit or stand quietly and listen to your heartbeat.  If you have SERIOUS emotional issues, you will tend to fall asleep or be deviled with horrifically compelling distractions.  Standing quietly with eyes closed will help.  Relax.  Find your heartbeat.  This can be done while practising Tai Chi or Yoga.  But you must slow, and find the heartbeat.  The Triangle of breathing, motion, and alignment must be maintained in order to go inward.  This should be done for at least 20 minutes at a time...the first 15 minutes are filled with ego-mind chatter and distraction.  Your ego-mind, striving to keep you from your true self, will try to do anything to keep you from going this deeply: falling asleep, causing pains, making you think of trivial tasks, belittling your efforts, and on and on.  This is completely normal.  Heartbeat meditation is fantastic, and should be used until or unless you find a meditation teacher to work with you personally.  It works.  Use it.

Heal your Heart, Strengthen your body, Free your mind

That is the road to mastery, and that is what we're talking about here.  Not survival, not success in some limited sense.  Mastery.  It is a lifetime's endeavor, and is a road, a process, not just a place.  True, there will be evidences along the way--signs that you have achieved excellence. But the goal is to walk your talk, to speak your mind, and for mind and heart and body to be aligned.  You can start this process in one of two ways: through the heart or the body.  But NOT through the mind.  The mind will create its own reality, and warp all information to fit it.  There is nothing sadder than talking to someone who is clearly dysfunctional in body or emotion, and hear their self-justification, their eyes pleading with you to buy into their bull*&%%.  So sad.  Within, they are the same damaged children they have been for years, surrounding themselves with other damaged people so that they don't have to deal with the pain.  That is not what this blog is about.  I believe that every single person reading this can have a healthier, happier, more successful life, but it takes work and clarity and courage.
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So...start with the heart.  Heartbeat meditation is a great way to begin the healing process.  Or the body.  The five Minute Miracle cuts through a lot of bull.  EVERYONE has five minutes a day.  If you say you don't, you are just lying to yourself.  AFTER you have nailed down heart and body (begun the process...like I say, it is a path, not a place.  Once truely begun, you are ready to complete the triangle), create the goal triangle, and begin working and writing.  Journaling dreams and thoughts.  Blogging or creating stories.  What I call "running the aquarium filter on the fish tank of your soul."
Get working!

How much time per day?

Five minutes is minimum maintenance.
Fifteen minutes (Five Minute Miracle plus Tibetans or yoga) for slow  steady progress.
One Hour is probably the optimum, the best cost/benifit ratio plan.  During that hour, you can perform a combination of:
1) meditation
2) Exercise (Tibetans or  yoga plus clubbells, kettlebells, whatever)
3) Goal setting
4)Input.  I personally listen to one college lecture every morning, and read an act of Shakespeare aloud.
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this is minimum.  It would also be possible to alternate days of exercise and mach-speed writing output, pure flow.  In 1/2 hour of pure flow, you can produce 1000 words.  The next session could be polishing.  Done this way, you would produce about 1500 words a week, or 75,000 words a year, plus have all your emotional, physical and mental bases covered in only an hour a day.  Needless to say, if you can invest more time, GREAT.  But this system allows you to start with only 5 minutes a day, leverage yourself to an hour, and make steady, no-b.s. progress toward your goals.

Get started!

Who is Lifewriting For?

For Writers and readers.  For anyone who wants to take control of her life.  For anyone tired of exerting all her effort, all her heart, and getting no where.  For anyone with the courage to speak the truth about her existence.  Lifewriting was developed for writers, but I've taught thousands of "regular" people who have no interest in ever publishing a thing.  Applying it to your journal writing can be one of the healthiest things you can ever do.  And all you need is
1) A daily writing or journaling practise
2) A career goal
3) A relationship (with yourself, God, or a Significant Other) you are prepared to commit to, and
4) A physical discipline.
5) At least Five minutes a day
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Give me those things, and I'll give you your life.    How do you get started?
1) Create WRITTEN goals in the three major areas of life: relationship, career, physical fitness.
2) Five times a day, at every hour divisible by "3" (9,12,3,6,9), center your breathing for 60 seconds and visualize or think about your goals.  If it is safe, close your eyes and visualize a triangle.
3) Commit that come hell or high water you will move 1% closer to your goal every week.
4) Journal your results daily.  Tell the truth.

That's it.  I can't wait to hear about your results.  Get working!

The Mindworm

According to one of my writing instructors, there was a concept in Mideval fiction called the "Mindworm."  According to this theory, a story should be like an earwig, a little insect that crawls in one of your character's ears.  By the time it crawls out the other side, it should have eaten your character's mind.  It should, to put it another way, reveal everything important that there is to know about the character.  This means that there has to be a match between the character and the situation.  In fact, viewed this way, a plot is nothing other than what a character does in a given situation.  If the situation is too large or too small for the character, it is a mismatch.  this implies a level of balance between the inner and outer life that a writer must learn to understand or intuit.  You wouldn't want to watch James Bond deal with a 7-11 holdup, would you?  Entirely too small to expose his true nature.  Would you want to watch Spongebob Squarepants deal with a serious family crisis?  How about Woody Allen as a lawyer representing Micheal Jackson (no, wait...that might be hysterical.  Let me call my agent...)
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The inner and outer worlds must match.  We are what we do.  We manifest our true natures in the world.  This is another crucial aspect of this writing system, a system designed not just to make you a better writer, but a better, healthier, more balanced human being. 

Assignment:  Start with a character.  What situation would be his or her worst nightmare?  And how could it turn into the best thing that ever happened to him?  Or conversely, what would be his fondest dream, and how could it turn into his worst nightmare?

Ocean's Twelve (2004)

One of the most unneccesary sequels imaginable, OCEAN'S TWELVE offers the very real pleasure of watching a staggering array of A-list talent at play.  The story goes that Clooney and Pitt and Damon were to the Amsterdam hash houses what Sinatra, Martin, and Davis Jr. were to the Vegas gin joints.  Sigh.  The fun they had in production spills onto the screen, except that there is actually more intelligence on display here than there was in the original film.  It's sometimes confusing and told out of temporal sequence, this film of high-stakes theives forced to pull a job just to pay off a lethal debt is really terrific fun, and a quality waste of time. 
Give it a B, but that's a really solid "B".

4-Dimensional Performance Pyramid

Coach Sonnon promotes a brilliant concept he calls the "Three-dimensional performance pyramid."  I'm just adapting it a bit.  It operates in the physical realm, but the creative will immediately see the adaptation to the intellectual. 
1) At the base of my pyramid, there is sanity. This is where you have to begin--with the commitment to being a whole, sane person.  That means that you are committed to working through, and healing, the incongruities, the damage, the emotional cess-pool that can live undr teh "floorboards" of our intellectual life.  Often the legacy of childhood, we can build right over this, create lives that seem perfectly healthy, and are actually accidents waiting to happen.  The symptoms will always be visible in our relationships, our careers, or our bodies.
2) Physical Health.  This is not the same as fitness.  It is feeling good about yourself. Waking up full of energy and ready for the day.  Your joints feel great.  No sniffling or coughing.  You never, or rarely, get sick.
3) Fitness.  This becomes more specific.  You choose an activity, and learn the specific requirements necessary to practise it.  Endurance, strength, flexility, etc. In what proportions?  Each activity has its own demands.  Learn them.
4)  Skill.  Once you have the first three in place, begin to accumulate the specific skill-sets of your activity.
5) Competition.  This is where the rubber meets the road.  You must remember the Triangle of Breathing-Motion-Alignment.  Place yourself under competitive stress, sufficient to cause the Triangle to break down. this will show youwhere you need to work--in other words, a resistant opponent is your very best friend, showing you flaws in your structure.  The lessons learned here, regarding maintianing balance under stress, will teach you things that cannot be put into words.  Viewed this way, competition is a laboratory for life.
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Your homework:  How can you adapt the above to the arena of career?  Relationship? Be creative!

I.D.E.A.

Instinctive Designation of Energy and Attention.  This is one of the most important concepts in Lifewriting.  In life, one way to ensure success is to learn how to apply the proper amount of energy and attention at a given moment, to match  the "wave form" of focus to the task at hand.  To be appropriate.  To sleep when it's time to sleep, dance when it's time to dance, study when it's time to study, drive when it's time to drive.  No more and no less.  To be able to tune our energy and focus up and down as it is required, and be dead on.  Better still, you need to do this automatically, without thinking.  This, friends, is the road to mastery: to do instantly, instinctively , what you would do if you sat and thought about it for an hour.   this is not jsut something lofty and unattainable, you can place yourself on the road to such power and strength and precision. How do you develop this?   By setting balanced goals in the three major areas.
1) Relationships.  Take responsibility for your relationship history.  Heal yourself until you are able to attract and sustain a healthy relationship with a significant other, then make that relationship as honest and passionate and healthy as you can make it.  If you're not in a relationship, work on your "internal family", your relationship within, between yourself and God.  Our inner and outer relationships are mirrors.
2) Career and education.  You should do what you love, or love what you do.  Life is an intelligence test, folks.  Even a worm will move away from pain and toward pleasure.  Set a goal of making a living doing that which you would do for free, something you love.  Or of learning to truely, deeply love the thing that you do.  All you have is the days of your life: they should be filled with passion, contribution, learning, pleasure, knowledge, and honor.  Anything less is a waste of life.
3) Health and Fitness.  When you  strip, do you like what you see in the mirror?  Would you want to jump your own bones?  If not, you are not in alignment with your own values.  Got plenty of energy?  Wake up rested?  Can you work hard all week and still party on the weekend?  No?  Then you have work to do.
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ALL THREE MUST BE ADDRESSED SIMULTANEOUSLY.  This is awesomely important.  By addressing all three, I promise that every excuse, every lame reason you've ever had for not being who you want to be will rise up.  But by taking responsibility for all three, and the results you have gotten, for the first time, you will have an accurate life map.  You'll know where you are, and where you want to go. Without both, a map is useless.  With both, you develop a feedback loop both simple and profound.  You will begin to develop your instinct.  This is the very core of what I've been teaching.  It is, in my opinion, the very best thing you can do for yourself...get a good I.D.E.A.!

Note on body

I recently got a note from a friend concerning  her efforts to lose weight.  the normal mood swings were deviling her, as well as some confusion about how to use the "modeling" technique.  Several of the models she chose were themselves overweight.  No surprise there! We go toward what we're comfortable with.  At any rate, removing all name references to protect her privacy, my reply went like this:
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What you're doing is getting in touch with your pain.  You aren't as anesthetized to it any more, so it seems like its volume and intensity is increasing.  It isn't .  this kind of work is like running an aquarium pump filter--you stir up crap.   There are a number of programs that suggest small meals several times a day to stabilize the blood sugar: "Health For Life" for instance.  They involve a small balanced meal: protein, carbs, vegetables.  Dried apricots are food, for instance, but are WAY high in sugar.  You need to become very very conscious of what you are going to eat--remember that your unconscious is going to try to take you back to your comfort zone. 
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There is nothing wrong with exercising in short bursts.  If you have a 30-minute routine 4-5 days a week, that's plenty to get  you going.  But you could even break that up into 3 10-minute segments through the day.  That would actually be better metabolically!
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In terms of role models, you look for three things:
1) Belief systems
2) mental syntax (the order in which they do things)
3) Use of physiology.
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It is obvious that Oprah has conflicting belief systems operating, although she seems to keep her weight down when before the camera.  Obviously, she binges off-camera.  Her relationship with Stedman suggests to me that she isn't particularly healthy there, either.  The trick is that it's relatively easy to succeed if you ignore wounds in the non-success area. 
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Because you stay home during the day, it would be far easier for you to plan and execute small meals eaten 5-6 times during the day.  Remember that you don't need more carbs than you burn up as fuel.  Protein is needed for rebuilding tissue.  And vegetables contain the spark that lights the fire.  Be careful about greasy, heavy sauces and dressings: this is a common way for dieters to screw up: they eat vegetables, but cover 'em with slop.

Steve

First Chakra

Muladhara, the first or root chakra, is our entrance into the physical world.  For a character in a story, it begs us to ask questions about survival, fear, the basic way he or she relates to the physical universe.  In combination with the second and third chakras, it forms the "Belly Brain" or center of instinctual action on the physical plane.
There is little sadder than dealing with a talented and intelligent writer who forgets to describe his characters, who has no sense of the kinesthetic space a character moves through, the way that physical motion defines our existence.  it is also sad to meet someone who is completely out of shape, and is offended that they are judged for this.  WE ARE OUR ACTIONS, as any actor can tell you.  In conversation with the actor whose biography I might be writing (more on that soon), he said that "acting is not pretending".  It is, precisely, actions, actions that reveal who we are in the world.  The choice of this action as opposed to that one.  All actions open and close doors. And one of the arenas of life that reveals who we are is the domain of the physical body.  It reveals for all to see our values, beliefs, actions, discipline, health, fitness.
In addition, the body is like a sixth sense--the proprioceptive sense, the sense of where you are in three dimensional space.  If you have a broken connection here, you can be almost blind, with a distorted map of reality.  I literally know people who believe their bodies disobey the laws of physics.  So sad.  THIS is why I created the "Five Minute Miracle", the first exercise system created for busy writers.  It provides that crucial connection in the minimum time possible--about five minutes a day.  That body-mind link is the missing piece for accessing genius, folks.  It will give you the leverage to turn your emotional dreams and intellectual powers into real results. Why?  Because your body doesn't lie.  Get in touch with your body, and you can learn where you are on the road of life.  Painful as it may be, you will get accurate feedback, every damned day.  Painful sometimes, embarrassing, frightening...but also exhilarating and education.  We are physical as well as spiritual and mental beings.  Your body stores emotion, it marks out your presence in three-dimensional space, it teaches us, it attracts mates and sexual partners, it reveals our physical and emotional health.  So for the sake of your career, of understanding this crucial aspect of your characters, of healthier relationships and the energy to bring your dreams into reality, start moving.  Dance.  Do yoga.  Walk.  Swim.  Or get the "Five Minute Miracle." 
But for goodness sake do SOMETHING!!

Blade: Trinity (2004) afterword

I'd written a pre-viewing commentary which seems to have been lost.  So I'll make this a postscript.  There are a few basic principles I'd like to lay down:
1) Human beings most easily empathize within their "ego circle"--those they feel look, feel, act, or think like them.
2) Males are highly competitive, especially for breeding space.
3) Film viewing involves alpha-state, relaxed input, and therefore ticket purchase patterns indicate deeply held, private, and sometimes embarrassing attitudes in broad population segments.
4) Hollywood responds to these patterns.  It has few real political or moral attitudes of its own.  After all, "Hollywood" doesn't exist as a discrete entity.  It is a collective term referring to a dozen studios, and hundreds of individual production companies.
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That being said, I'll reiterate something I've said many times: brown-skinned men can't have sex in movies.  If they do, it trashes the box office.  It is NOT, as readers keep trying to suggest, that Hollywood doesn't want to do it.  They'll do anything that will make money.  It's that they have learned what the audience wants, and been trained as thoroughly as any orca at Seaworld.  Don't believe me?  Go to the Internet Movie Data Base.  Look up the twenty top films with white male leads.  Then the twenty top films with nonwhite male leads.  Compare the sexual content.  White guys get laid in about 80% of their movies.  Nonwhites in about 10% or less.  This represents not what studios make, but what audiences--predominantly white audiences-- will vote with their tickets to see.
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Remember that classic line from the original "Spider-Man"?  "This story, like any worthwhile story, is about a girl."  And there it is.  Boy meets girl.  Boy loses girl.  Boy gets girl.  It is the primary human story, right along with the Hero's Journey.  In fact, the most consistent motivation for  the hero t take the journey has to do with sex.  Take the feminine away from the masculine, and you get an emotionally closed hyper-male with little relationship to humanity.  In fact, you get Wesley Snipes' film image.
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People point to Vin Diesel and the Rock as evidence that things are changing,.  They are right, but they are also ignorant of another implication: that the humanity of a brown man is in direct proportion to his percentage of white blood.  Men as dark as Wesley need not apply.  It is a pretty solid rumor that David Goyer promised Snipes he would have a romantic relationship in Blades 2 and 3--and then reneged.  If you look at almost every Oscar-caliber performance, a sexual/romantic relationship was involved.  Our heart humanizes us, people!  When the natural human tendency (note: not a "white" tendency, a "human" tendency) to only fully extend empathy to those "like us" is multiplied out across a culture where African-Americans are outnumbered 10 to one, the results are a world in which little white boys see vastly more images of healthy, powerful, sexual young men and the path that takes them to being fully mature.  Males, being competitive, feel uncomfortable watching males of other groups engaged in breeding behavior.  Is that blunt enough? And young white males have enough purchasing power to their tickets to affect the box office powerfully.
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Why do I care?  Well, aside from this affecting my own pocketbook, or my own personal wish to see the kinds of images white boys get to see 24/7, I think that it reveals a deep psychological pattern that ultimately results in police officer reflexive shooting of unarmed black men.  In the 1/10 of a second that a cop has to make a decision before firing, a gigantic number of factors flash through the mind, and are sorted by the subconscious.  Both danger and the value of the target are taken into account.  Excuse me, but I just don't see enough instances of black cops beating and shooting unarmed white kids for me to think it's merely an alpha-male "outgroup" phenomenon. We've been taught for 400 years that browned-skin men are just not as valuable.  Further, that they are "the other" and are tolerable only as long as they are not sexual competition: for white OR brown women.  For at a time when white males can be seen in movies boffing Brown and Asian females left and right, African-American and Asian men are virtually neutered.  This is the internal fantasy world of the young male.  He, and those like him, are all that matter in the world, all that have true humanity. 
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It is undeniable that this has changed for the better.  It just hurts to see the distance we still have to travel.  I LOVE this country, and what we have achieved.  It just hurts, that's all.
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So over the years, Wesley Snipes, one of our most charismatic and virile actors, has become a cipher, unable to express his humanity in the same manner as his contemporaries.  As a result, his performances have become more and more emotionally shielded, his rage and fear and loneliness kept deep inside.  Unable to share his love, unwilling to share his pain, he has become an automaton, just going through the motions for money.  Whatever they're paying him, it's not enough.
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And writer/director David Goyer?  Well, he's writing the new Batman.  what do you want to be there's a love interest in it?  And if  they spin off the "Nightstalkers" from Blade, what do you want to bet it will crackled with sexual energy?   Just a coincidence, you know.  It has nothing to do with social, biological and perceptual factors.  Nothing to do with what the audience wants to see.  Nothing to do with a pattern that can be observed with a little simple statistical analysis.
Nothing to do with our wounded hearts at all.

Blade (2004)

The problems with this series have already been commented on, so I won't beat a dead horse.  That being handled, I'll say it was better than I'd feared.  There is much hyperkinetic butt-kicking, spectacular vampire deaths, some pretty decent one-liners care of Ryan Reynolds, and Jessica Biel looks great.  The action is edited a bit frantically, and characters disappear and reappear oddly enough to warp your sense of continuity a bit.  But it is hardly a disaster, and Blade fans will have fun.  I just wish...
Oh, shut up, Steve. 
For Blade fans, a "B."   General audiences, a "C". 

Second Chakra stuff

Studying Shakespeare's "Troilus and Cressida", his tale of the Trojan war, this morning during the Golden Hour.  Poor Cressida is definitely placed in a delimma, wishing to remain true to her lover, but having little power to protect her virtue in the midst of the Greek camp.  And the lecturer makes the inevitable comment concerning the status of women in a "male-dominated society."
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Before I go on, I want to make it clear that I don't mistake my opinions for the truth.  Those of you following the Lifewriting approach to fiction craft or life skills should understand that my purpose in speaking is not to convince you of the correctness of this or that position I take.  It is to illustrate the meta-position of having a core philosophical stance which you can then extrapolate into every important arena of life, and expose it for debate, and utilize it for characterization, plot, and determination of one's own life path.  So I understand that I'm about to dive into a culural whirlpool here, and ask that you not merely agree or disagree with what I say, but see how it is an organic part of the overall approach.
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First chakra is most basic: survival.  So to that end, I do tend to believe that the vast majority of human motivations and actions deal with survival: of the individual or the family or the group.  Second chakra is sexuality, and this is where a bit more of the duality of existence comes in.  Male and Female.  Although I was raised by women, love women, have spent far more of my life in t he company of women than of men, I'm sure there are sexist overtones to my point of view.  After all, I don't think men and women are equal.  Nor do I think one is above the other.  I think they are complementary, and that that sexual dimorphism exists, and the apparent power differential exists, not for the advantage of either men or women, but for the propogation of the species.  When you say: "in this male-dominated society..." you open the door to a buncha other questions, the most obvious being: "as opposed to what?" 
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There are precious few examples of "female-dominated societies" around, or even what might be called "partnership cultures," although some pre-agricultural societies come pretty close. As a post-industrial society I would argue that we are coming full circle and approaching what might be the most honestly "partnership" culture that has ever existed.  And about time.  But why has it taken so long? Have men, all over the world, gotten together in secret conclaves and decided to oppress women?  I think not, and if they'd been able to, I personally think that that would be evidence that women are inferior, which I most decidedly do not believe.
What, then, is going on, and has gone on, and how does it influence current gender relations?
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Remember: survival is paramount.  Which means that any form of social organization that allowed more children to be born, and for the culture to be replicated in their education, had a real edge and tended to go onward.  The implication is that the fabled "matriarchal" cultures didn't make the cut.  The fact that most of the cultures pointed to as "matriarchal" tend to be protected by jungles, or on islands, or atop mountains somewhere is quite suggestive.  In "The Chalice and the Blade," a provocative theory is advanced: Matriarchies are the best places to live in times of peace, and the worst in times of war.  In other words, they generally fail to survive first contact with a patriarchal structure.
But doesn't this mean that men are in charge?  Well, wait a moment.  In a male heirarchical structure, power is everything.  The men at the bottom are utterly disposable, and we have a cultural blind-spot for this.  I've heard women who complain about slasher movies where a woman is threatened, and they didn't even notice that twice as many men as women had actually been killed.  or notice that in film after film you've seen endless tableaus of thousands of dead, mutilated men washed up on Omaha beach, a spectacle you have never seen, and will never see, with a reversal of gender.  I've had women say: "Well, men start the wars..."
As if they do this capriciously.  Let's see...men march off to be killed and mutilated for just no reason?  Have they ever read the letters of these men, sensed their utter terror, and their belief that the only thing that justifies the carnage is the fact that they are protecting home and hearth?  Shielding their loved ones?  yes, men are more agressive and violent than women, but when I see social contexts that are dominated by women, they are just as controlling and dominating and cause just as much damage.  this is a human trait, not a male trait.  Males, in my view, are short-lived worker/fighter drones. They are manipulated (not by women, not by men, but by genetic forces) into insanely self-destructive behavior by cultural beliefs that they must protect women and children.  Men are programmed to believe they should die to protect women.  where in the world are women programmed to believe they should die to protect men? 
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there is a limit to how much men can dominate and control women, before the society falls apart.  Afghanistan was a great example.  Women were so dominated they could barely get medical treatment.  As a result, the infant mortality rate was the highest in the world. They would have fallen apart within another couple of generations.  Men and women are two halves of the same coin.  If men screw women over too badly, the culture will be out-competed by a culture that has a more reasonable approach.  I can't see an argument to this unless someone thinks that women contribute nothing to a culture.
And while the gender gap is similar to racial prejudice, it is not precisely the same.  After all, one tribe really CAN eradicate another, and have many many times.  Men may wish to control women, but not to eradicate them.  Women manipulate men using every tool they have.  Men manipulate women the same way.  And women manipulate women, and men manipulate men. 
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So in my opinion, who is in charge of the world, men or women?  My answer: no one.  the world is a place where women's dreams are disposible, and men's lives are disposible.  In the aforementioned Shakespearian play, it is horribly sad that a woman is placed in such a terrible ethical delimma.  Far more is made of that than the fact that little boys were programmed ffrom the cradle to believe that dying on a distant battlefield with an enemy sword in your guts, suffering slowly as the ant eat you alive, crying out for a homeland you will never see again, is somehow glorious.  We are all part of the big meat machine, folks. Our way out is to see beyond the dualities of male and female, black and white, and allow ourselves to evolve to a more loving and civilized place.

Pointing the finger of blame is just more of the same stuff.  We suffer, while our genes laugh at us.

Morning Meditation and stuff

I generally visualize a triangle at each chakra, and then feel my heartbeat in the center.  When I see light pulsing in the darkness, I know that my mind is centering.  This effect is what I call a "complex equivilent."  In other words, I've trained my mind to provide me with simple symbols for complex and complicated processes in my body-mind dynamic.  Darkness might represent fatigue, confusion, conflict, etc.  Light might represent energy, clarity, commitment, etc.  I don't always consciously know.  What I do know is tat the days that the light flows freely, I am way productive and energetic, and luck seems to come my way--especially if I get several of those days in a row, and most especially if I get that light in my 6th chakra.
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Today is yoga day, a day of renewal after the #$$-kicking I gave myself yesterday.  BTW--afterwards, I coached Nicki through a grueling 24-minute kettlebell workout.  She was doing O.K. until we got to "Turkish Get-Ups".  She complained that she couldn't understand them, but then when I explained, something clicked in.  She really engaged with them emotionally, and seemed to find a little extra uumph, a level of emotional, internal engagement I hadn't seen in her for a while.  Me likie that!  You have to engage body, mind, and spirit in any activity to get the most out of it, and the physical body is a great place to test this.  Way to go Nicki!

Alexander (2004)

There is a line at the end of Oliver Stone's new film "Alexander", where Anthony Hopkins as an aged Ptolomy reminesces about the career of the great general and king. Specifically, he speaks of Alexander's failure to unite the entire world: "His failures tower above other men's successes."  Well, frankly I feel much the same way about this film.  "Alexander" is a brilliant failure, doomed by the peculiar period of American history we live in today.  We demand deeper examinations of our cinematic heroes, but aren't really ready for the truth. The undeniable fact of Alexander of Macedonia's bisexuality sinks this film. They want to be honest about it, and cannot be, and that leaves a hole at the center of the film.  If his lifelong love of his best friend Hephaistion had been his love for a woman, the filmmakers would have been able to deal with it frankly and honestly, and as a simple matter of fact.  But they knew this would have doomed the movie.  Period.  Let's be honest about this. But then, by dancing around it, they created another kind of damage, an artificial sexual tension that must have driven preview audiences crazy.  Read the reviews, and check the number of barely-veiled homophobic comments.  But I'm not saying that it was audience perceptions alone that damaged the film, that it is great, and people just don't appreciate it.  I'm saying that the filmmakers had to work around the natural emotional core of the film, and in doing so, sabotaged the naturalness.  In addition to this, uncomfortable audiences, convinced they were ABOUT to see something they didn't want to see, said to themselves what audiences always do when things get uncomfortable: say "it's only a movie, its only a movie..." and tear up the artifice, something one can do with any film, any film at all, if suspension of disbelief is broken.  I've watched the exact same thing happen in black films reaching for a white audience, terrified to frankly show black male sexuality.  The hole rips the reality from the film. 
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That being said, the film is gorgeous, the story of a man with no center, no home, denied one by his vicious, scheming mother and broken father.  With no center, he searched endlessly for the edge of reality, hoping that by finding the edge of the world, he could then define the center.  There is no edge, so collapse was inevitable, and tragic.  Looking at the box office, the same can be said here.  But I'll say this in no uncertain terms: this is a film that flirts with greatness.  Fail it does, but by God it tries, and for that Oliver Stone has my undying respect.

Black hole at its core and all, I give it a B+

Morning Golden Hour

It’s official now: I both love and hate Coach Sonnon.  The 100-Rep Death march Density program has pointed out every flaw in my training approach that I never knew I had: insufficient recovery work, insufficient mental/emotional clarity and motivation, gaps in my “cascading” physical attribute chain, and more, and more.  It trashed me, no matter which way I approached it.

So, after I moved down to So. Cal, I went through another re-vamping of my exercise program.  Three days a week of pure recovery work (yoga).  On the other three, “advanced Tibetan” (Warrior Wellness, Be Breathed, Body-Flow Quad Switches, and Hindu Pushups) before I get to my resistence work, which is alternating Bruiser work and kettlebells.  During the day, Greasing the Groove with Softwork, Body-Flow and brief resistance training.

I’ve been using a “breathing” pyramid: one rep on the right (Gama Casts), take one breath.  Two reps on the left, two breaths.  Three reps on the right…and so on, up to ten. Then I do another ten, and start climbing back down to one.  Total: 110 reps.  Total time: about 24 minutes.  I’ll begin to reduce the number of breaths SLOWLY, and with hyper-awareness of the effect.  This approach my body seems to like just fine.  My attributes are developing in balance.  My morning meditations are a little “darker” than I like: I suspect a lot of old emotional stuff is getting stirred up.  So be it.  One thing about me: I slow down, but I don’t stop.  If I am physically and mentally capable of mastering the 100-rep challenge, I’m gonna find a way to do it. 

Thanks a whole bunch, Coach.  Arrgh.
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On another note, I was listening to a lecture on "Romeo and Juliet" this morning, follwoed by some pretty hot music as I pushed myself through that breathing pyramid. And yeah, the meditation this morning was a bit "foggy", but that happens.  I couldn't resolve my usual triangle visualization for sour owl poop.  Sigh.  Just the circle of life, I guess.  Three steps forward, one step back.  Today I'll take my daughter Nicki to enroll at Citrus College, which will be something of a thrill...just another step along the path!

I also need to do my 1000 words...let's see...I think I'll do it on the acting project I've hinted about.  Sorry--no names yet!

Steve

On writing Novels

I've been asked what I think about books instructing people how to write novels.  This is in light of the fact that I reccomend that you begin with short stories.  Well, I think they're great!  But they're something like books teaching you how to train for a marathon.  That's wonderful, but if you've never run around the block, you might want to start there.  If you just want to write a book, great, but if you want to write one that can sell, you'd better make sure you've got your chops together.  Chances are that if you had all the skills, you'd be published already.  The safe bet is to make your mistakes in smaller batches--much easier to spot and correct them.  The "Lifewriting" technique is a very specific model of writing that does not exclude any other methodology, although it does make a case for certain strictures: balancing plot and character, balancing work and life and body, taking small actions every day that lead you to your goal, becoming more and more sensitive to the connection between thought, action, and results.  I'm just being honest about a process I've seen work for hundreds of people.  Of COURSE there are other approaches.  I'm just presenting mine, and the reasoning behind it, as clearly and honestly as I can.

The Hero's Journey

I consider Campbell's model of the Hero's Journey to be THE best writing tool ever created by the mind of man.  And Campbell didn't create it, he just  discovered it.  It was the result of the joint work, over thousands of years, of millions of individual storytellers.  The pattern is so persistent because it matches the actual course of our lives, and therefore creates a phenomenally powerful link between the external organization of events and the internal fashion in which we organize reality to attempt to make sense of chaos.  The pattern roughly goes like this:
1) The hero is confronted with a challenge.
2) Initially, they reject the challenge.
3) They are forced or allowed to accept the pattern.
4) They set out on the Road of Trials.
5) they meet allies and gain Powers
6) They have their initial confrontation with evil, and are defeated.
7) They enter the dark night of the soul
8) They take the Leap of Faith
9) They confront evil again, and are victorious
10) The Student becomes the Teacher.
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This pattern is grade school.  It is the way you internalize your basics so that you can move on to more complex work.  It is analogous to juggling three oranges--if you want to juggle five chainsaws, you'd better have your basics down.  Far too often, I meet (unsuccessful) writers who don't have their basics, have never published a single short story, but want to leap directly to complicated novels.  In general, I know that these are the writers who will fail.  They refuse to understand that they haven't mastered their basics, and are riding on sheer chutzpah and ego.  It's a pity.
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So, how do you use this?  Follow a combination of Ray Bradbury and Robert Heinlein's advice:
1) Write a story a week, or a story every other week.
2) finish what you write.
3) Put it in the mail, keep it in the mail until it sells.
4) Don't rewrite except to editorial request.
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Stories should explore and express simple structure until you have mastered this (say, by selling 5-10 stories).  Then you can try longer form.  If you follow this advise, you'll be published within 2 years, guaranteed.

Steve

National Treasure (2004)

Oh, what the hell, lighten up, critics.  I'd heard so many bad things about this movie that, when Nicki and I went to see it last night, it tickled me to death.  "National Treasure", a sort of B-movie    " DaVinci Code," tells the story of a "Treasure Protector" (Nicolas Cage) whose family has, for generations, been searching for the lost loot of the Knights Templar.  The clues are scattered all over  Washington, most notably on the back of the Declaration of Independence (in invisible ink).  If you can swallow this absolute howler, you'll have a great time watching very clever people being deliberately dumbed-down for the sheer fun of it.  I had an enormous grin on my face for much of the ensuing action, which, by the way, is virtually bloodless.  It is a Disney movie in the almost-best sense of the words, absolutely suitable for the whole family.  Leave your higher brain functions at home and have a great time.
A solid "B"

Breathing, Motion, and Alignment

This, in short form, is the physical core of the Lifewriting system. Also the Five Minute Miracle.  Remember, I promised I would do my best to give it all away for free, right? The reason that something like the 5MM is possible is that it is designed to re-pattern the way your mind and body relate.  In other words, it's not about doing X amount of exercise in the morning.  It's about moving differently all day long, the concept Coach Sonnon refers to as "Perpetual Exercise."  In order to understand how this is possible, we first have to examine another core concept.
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Any physical technique is composed of three parts: Breathing, Motion, and Alignment.  For the sake of illustration, consider them mind, muscle, and bone.  The interesting thing is that each of them is created by the interaction of the other two.  Breathing is created by muscular contraction and a change in the relative position of rib-cage and hip bones.  Motion is created by the interaction of breath and posture.  And posture is created by proper motion and breathing.  These are not exact descriptions: no profound process can be put exactly into words.  However, if you can read between the lines,  you'll get it.  Better still, practise, and you will understand.  All profound movement systems: Tai chi, Yoga, etc., understand this, but they express it differently.  This is just a little difficult to understand without viewing.  If you see me at a convention, please ask and I will demonstrate.  Or go to Rmax.tv and look up Coach Sonnon's "Be Breathed" tape.  Or do google searches for Yoga or Tai chi breathing.  Or buy the 5MM.  I will try to answer questions to make this moving aspect clearer in the future, but in all honesty, it is very difficult to describe a dynamic movement in words--the chances of performing it wrong are massive.  Even when I demonstrate to knowledgeable movement artists, they usually do it wrong at first.  Sigh.  Please, don't think this is a come-on, and turn yourself off to a MASSIVELY valuable technique that could add years to your life.  We'll try to post more free video clips later.
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Now then, once you understand that each technique (walking, swimming, clubbell swinging, kettlebell lifting, whatever) has a unique BMA signature, you're ready for a second piece of data: stress tends to "dis-integrate" this structure.  When under stress, your breathing will grow shallow, your muscles tighten, your posture degrade.  In other words, as you grow more sensitive to your body, if you check in with your BMA for a few seconds every couple of hours, you can feel whether or not you are having an inappropriate reaction to stress.  If you learn to stay balanced while under stress, you will automatically grow stronger and more competant--it is the way the human psyche is designed.  If you are thrown off kilter, the stress will rip you apart.  In life, they pay you for how much stress you can take.  Learn to handle it right, and you will evolve toward your goal rather smoothly.
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So, in short form, this is why I am insistent upon the body being included in  your overall growth plans.  Try to leave it behind, and your career will dead-end.  How much time does it take?  I'd say a minimum of 15 minutes a day: but you can BEGIN with only 5 minutes a day.  To use it, take a pause multiple times a day: say, every three hours.  9, 12, 3, 6, 9.  Just breathe for sixty seconds, using a technique from Yoga, Tai Chi, or the 5MM.  Notice the interaction of mind, muscle, and posture.  Then after 60 seconds, get on with your life.
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Get it?  I just gave away the 5MM secret: it's not five minutes all at one time, it's five minutes in one minute increments, spread throughout the day, the technique called "Neurosynaptic facilitation" by Pavel Tsatsouline.  It is the most powerful means of developing the mind-body connection in the world. 
Use it.

The shoulders we stand on

I had another conversation yesterday with the actor whose biography I might be writing.  This is a man of enormous dignity and accomplishment, and I was struck by an element of his world view: that he is part of a chain, part of a line of human families that ultimately includes all of mankind, that all of his efforts, all of his actions impact all the world.  This kind of belief creates some of the strongest human beings who have ever walked the planet.  Their efforts do not rest on ego.  They rest on the bedrock of unwavering admiration for the great ones who have come before, and compassion for the children of tomorrow.  This is almost always given to a child by a parent or other adult figure: a mother, a father, a grandparent, perhaps a teacher.  In this case, he is part of a lineage of extraordinarily accomplished, talented and committed individuals.  The weight of such responsibility will crush you if you are not balanced.  If you ARE balanced, such pressure and heat creates diamonds.   It begins with the family.  It begins with a commitment to spirit.  We are all in this alone, together.

Indentured Servitude vs. Slavery

There was another conversational gambit that took place at Loscon, one that has happened numerous times, and that I would love to put to rest.  Basically, someone made the comment that slaves in America weren't just African.  Well, of course they're right--Native Americans were also enslaved, but it didn't work out to well because they could escape to their homes.  What these folks meant, however, was indentured servitude.  This angers me, because the two, while somewhat analogous, are hardly homologous.  Here's my take on it: Indentured Servitude is to Slavery as Prostitution is to Rape.  O.K., your ancestors chose to lease their bodies to get to the New World.  Great, Fine.  I have no problem with that.  But there is a world of difference between that and being dragged from your village, sold overseas, and the next five generations of your family turned into property without legal rights of any meaningful kind.  They just aren't equivilent, and I hope to never hear this mealy-mouthed reflexive B.S. again.  It   trivializes centuries of human pain, and is an unworthy conversational gambit.

Of Blood and Breath

Why is breathing so important an aspect of virtually every world spiritual discipline?  There is at least one simple physiological reason (and yoga suggests that the safe entrance to the realm of the spirit is found in only two places: the body, and the heart). That reason is that breathing is the only physical process that is both voluntary and autonomic.  As  you slow your breathing down to below about 4 breaths per minute, you will begin to feel discomfort as the oxygen/carbon dioxide balance begins to shift.  That discomfort is your body saying "hey!  Cut that out."  The resultant stress is very very similar to the stress caused by anger and fear.  If you go deeper, slowing the breathing to below about 3 breaths per minute, this deepens.  To relax sufficiently to reduce the body's need for oxygen, simultaneously "turning off" the CO2 alarm, is quite an accomplishment. That skill overlaps greatly with  the ability to deal with other life stresses with elegance and grace.  And especially, to deal with fear.  Fear is the great destroyer: fear of failure, success, separation, anonymity, fame, initmacy, lonliness, and especially death of body and ego.  Conquer fear, and you conquer your life.  This is a gross overview of the power of learning to control breathing.  We'll go into more subtle aspects of it another time.

Morning "Golden Hour"

Well, today I practised Ashtanga Yoga while listening to a lecture on the death of Falstaff.  It was sad, the way Prince Hal used his friends to establish himself as a ne'er-do-well, so that when he became Henry, King of England, people would be surprised.  Falstaff's heart was broken when Henry turned away from him.  Of course, Falstaff was a thief, a lecher, a drunkard, and a coward and a liar.  In one sense, he hardly deserved to be treated better.  On the other hand, he was an affectionate father figure, and one suspects Hal was slightly self-deluded to think he was carousing just to create a false image.  Yeah, right.  He was knee-deep in flesh so that future courtiers would be impressed.  If you believe that, our views of human nature are very different indeed.  Shakespeare knew human nature much, much better than that.  None of us have perfect self-knowledge.  We are all partially deluded about who and what we are.  to me, this was the Bard's art at a very high level indeed.

Plot, Character, and Form

Had a good long conversation with the star whose biography I might be writing. His career has been astonishingly varied and, seemingly, always driven by the urge to work, to improve and express himself, and to be of service. This is looking better and better. But one of my tasks is to find the right way to tell the story, and that is a difficulty. The idea is to find a form that fits the function, and a linear story is not always the best choice.

In the argument between plot and character, I come down with the choice that they are in essence the same thing: plot is what a given character does in a given situation. Character is what is exposed in action. Note that I believe our actions reveal our character more than our thoughts, or the opinions of others, although those are important. For instance, I can think I can fly, but only actual flying reveals this as an aspect of my being. On the other hand, if I think I can fly and I cannot, the gap between what is and is not about my existence reveals plenty of interesting stuff.

It is this observable reality, and the gap between it and our self-justifications, that provides the opportunity for characterization. To learn how to do this, one must observe others, and ourselves as well.
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Which brings me to another subject: weight. Some have asked me why this is such a hot topic for me. Well, partially because I've had too many friends actually DIE due to weight issues. Partially because I am furious that the diet industry makes billions obscuring the simple truth that weight management is primarily a matter of balancing the metabolic checkbook, €”calories in, calories out. Partially because ignorant people consider overweight to be a character issue. Partially because we store our emotions in our bodies, and overweight is often a matter of massive unprocessed emotional bilge'in other words, we carry our damage and dysfunction around for all to see, and then pretend not to understand when others find it unattractive.
No, it's not a matter of lack of character. The obese people I know are, in general, as good and basically decent as any one else. But they are like alcoholics who carry their bottles at their waists, drug addicts who can buy their drug of choice at the local supermarket, walking fortresses carrying their emotional battlements around their ribcages. We KNOW what is going on, it'€™s the elephant in the living room, folks. There is just a social agreement not to talk about it.

Every human being feels alone and afraid. The only question is: what do you do to deal with your loneliness and fear? And also, perhaps, what lies do you tell to maintain your defenses? Because when you distort reality, lie to yourself and others to keep that protective weight on, create scatoma, holes in your perception, to blind yourself to the extra calories you take in, "œaccidentally" injure yourself exercising so that you don't have to continue, place your body at the very bottom priority, lust after lean-bodies and then pretend to be outraged when those lean-bodies don'€™t reciprocate:
YOU ARE DISTORTING YOUR REALITY MAP. When you do that, you can't leverage your intelligence to accomplish your goals. People, we are all in this life process together, and we have to surround ourselves with people of like mind and values in order to have any chance to become who we really are. Our bodies are the reflection of our daily activities, and our daily activities are based upon our priorities and organizational skills, and our priorities are based upon our values and intelligence, and our values are based upon our emotional health and clarity. In other words, just like our relationship history and our careers, our bodies say HUGE amounts about us: our discipline, focus, emotional health, self-love, commitment, resiliency, knowledge, and wisdom. They do. And to pretend otherwise is to deny ourselves aliveness, to allow those who hurt us to win, even if they have been dead for thirty years. I love you all, and I love you too much to maintain the fiction that our lives bear no relationship to our essence. You won't find that here.
Just imagine trying to write a story where the character’s actions bear no relationship to who and what they are. If you don’t understand this connection, how in the hell will you ever write a realistic character? And only by facing your own devils, day by day, will you ever gain the wisdom to reach your ultimate skill as a writer.

It'€™s as simple, and heartbreakingly hard, as that.

Irritation at Loscon

I have to admit to a conversation at Loscon that irritated me. It was with an old friend, a very nice, good guy with whom a cross word has never passed. In discussing Heinlein's FARNHAM'S FREEHOLD, and my extreme disappointment that (possibly) the most prominent Black character in all of Mr. Heinlein's work is a traitor to his friends who joins the (black) cannibals, the subject of my disappointment with racial and social issues in SF came up. You see, science fiction fans consider their field to be progressive in these areas, and I think they couldn't be more wrong. Progressive racially? That word "progressive" assumes a baseline against which to measure "progress". Well...shall we try three? Society in general, literature in general, the sciences in general...let's throw in another. Genre literature in general. Well, how does it measure up?
1) what percentage of lead or secondary characters in SF are black?
2) What percentage of characters depicted on covers are black?
3) what percentage of fans are black?
4) what percentage of authors are black?

Gee. It seems to me that no matter which way you slice it, the percentage is way below statistical representation in general population, representation in the sciences, or in literature in general. Maybe there are more black characters in SF than in, say, Romance novels, but does anyone think that was what my friend meant? He back-pedaled, suggesting that perhaps they were in the books, but just not described. I find this so insulting that I almost lost my temper. Not described? Can anyone think of a good reason for this? I asked him if he'd ever read an SF story where someone described a consumer product produced in Sub-Saharan Africa, no matter how far in the future such a story was set. After some thining, he mentioned a product designed in North Africa, and produced in "colonized" states to the south. Wow. Great. I mentioned that, according to two very well respected SF authors, the most powerful and influential editor in the history of the SF field would refused to publish stories dealing with advanced African civilizations, believing that Africans were not mentally capable of such a thing. My friend in essence called these distinguished writers liars. It is so sad. Racism isn't evil, although some manefestations of it certainly are. It is natural, inborn (to a degree), and must be carefully guarded against and risen above. We've demonized it to such a degree that we feel pain to associate it with the things we love. I love the SF field, but the complete exclusion of people who looked like me form the ranks of the brilliant and brave depicted inits pages caused me more pain than I can possibly tell you. More on this another time. I forgive my friend, as I have so often in the past.. I'm not sure I can keep forgiving indefinitely, however.

Kundalini Rising

Some interesting Kundalini tickles this morning during meditation.  My morning meditation starts with the heartbeat, for about five minutes.  Then I'll (groggily) remember to use my sphincter lock, and lower abdominal lock.  When my attention wanders, I pull it back with a triangle visualization in each chakra, starting from the bottom.  Then, finally , I'll remember to use a glowing triangle in Anja, the forehead chakra.  That's usually where the fun kicks in.  Remember to breath in "the back", feeling the back of my rib cage expand with each inhalation.  This has taken me years to juggle, and now I'm starting to integrate Scott Sonnon's "Be Breathed" methodology, allowing slight movements to actually create my inhalations.

Visualize white light moving up the spine.  And...tickles.  Interesting.   A stealthy energetic crawling up the back.  This shouldn't have been too surprising.  T's mother noticed "a sweet smell" coming from my yoga area, and when I was in Quincy, Florida last week, squirrels were coming up to me without fear.  All these things are interesting, possibly meaningless coincidences or happenstances, but there is a weight of 'em that begins to correspond to both my previous experience, and traditional tales of Kundalini awakening.  If I'm right, I'm about two years away from something very interesting indeed.

Secret Project

Well, there's a project up that I won't talk about yet.  Let's just say that a very famous, very talented and distinguished television actor with some very important stories to tell wants to tell them in a fictional form.  Discussions are currently underway for me to assist his voice, and it is an honor to be chosen.  Boy, oh boy, if this happens, will fur fly!  This is so much fun--I took an enormous risk moving from Washington to Los Angeles.  This was the very essence of a "leap of faith," risky and stressful on multiple levels. But my family is safe in Southern California, my daughter already has a job and is about to be enrolled in college, my wife's movie "My Soul To Keep" looks like it might well get the greenlight at Fox Searchlight, Forest Whitaker wants to meet with us concerning her novel "The Good House", a certain famous and beautiful actress has expressed interest in starring in that very film, and I've turned in the first draft of my paleolithic murder mystery.  Larry Niven and I spoke deeply at Loscon on a possible fourth Dream Park book, and actually came up with a potentially dynamite idea, in concert with a verra verra friendly SFX guy named John Eggett, who has volunteered to help us brainstorm.  Jerry Pournelle thinks there's a third "Heorot" novel, and I agree.  He doesn't want to deal with the downturn in civilization.  Too depressing.  Good point.
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What's the point of all this?  Well, life is getting tres interesting.  By my count, I've got about 15 different projects at different stages of development, and I don't want to drop the ball.  That means:
1) write 1000 words a day.
2) Work 4 hours a day minimum
3) read 10,000 words a day.
4) read one act of Shakespeare aloud per day.
5) meditate daily.
6) exercise and eat for maximum energy
7) get plenty of rest.
8) get and give lots of hugs.
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I really look forward to this period.  I think in some ways I've been waiting for it all my life.  And by the way--my fantastic spouse Tananarive will be back tomorrow!  Hotcha!  Damn I love that lady!

What do you need to start Lifewriting?

Well, most importantly, you don't need to send me money.  This ain't that kind of party. So, what IS necessary? Three basic things

1) a career discipline or goal that makes your heart happy, and will support you in comfort.  The thrust of this blog will be writing, but squint a little, and you'll see all other life disciplines contained within the wisdom here.  Hey--it ain't my wisdom.  I'm just gathering it together and expressing it in my life.  As Musashi says:  "Know one thing, know ten thousand things."
2) A commitment to a healthy intimate relationship with another adult human being.  If you aren't currently in one, improving your spiritual/emotional relationship with yourself if a perfect start.
3) A physical discipline for daily practice.  That's right, daily.  You eat everyday, right?  YOur ancestors had to move every day to earn it.  Now, that doesn't mean a huge amount of time.  what is the minimum necessary to create the vital mind-body connection?  Probably about five minutes. What is the optimum to create serious health and fitness?  Probably an hour, 3-6 times a week.  anyone not willing to fall somewhere between these extremes need read no further.  Now--where can  you find the knowledge necessary?  Yoga, Tai Chi, Chi Gung --all are great and profound systems.  Look into Pilates, swimming, walking, weight training, or Tae Bo style work.  Efficient.  Go to www.rmax.tv, www.dragondoor.com or buy my own "Five Minute Miracle."  but you MUST make the body-mind connection alive, or you CANNOT maximize the strength of your emotions and intellect.  THAT is the position this blog takes.  That is lifewriting.  There are other paths--seek them out with my blessing (as if you needed it!).  But I must be inflexible about this.  The life of the spirit often attracts people so wounded they don't want to deal with the flesh.  guess what?  You can't get there without going through the body, the heart, and the community.  That's why the chakra chart starts from the most basic human needs and progresses upwards.  Trying to access spirit without having mastered the earthly disciplines is called "waking your kundalini up backwards."  It will literally drive you insane.
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So--that's it.  I will try to point you in the direction of free resources and other teachers with information that will help you.  But you must make a commitment to working all three arenas, or, simply put, don't come back--I can't help you.
But for you writers out there who want to tell your stories with grace and power, find your own voice, possibly build a career...

Have I got a life for YOU!

Steve

Epistomology

People ask why I insist on Body-Mind-Spirit as balanced goals in my students.  It is simple: if you can stay balanced in all three arenas, you can be fairly confident that your perceptual apparatus is working properly.   It is, in a sense, a way of using the tangible to touch the intangible, to develop an instinctive understanding of the world around us.  I know too many brilliant people who have lost their way utterly, and can't understand why they fail over and over again to reach their goals.  They argue about the reasons they can't succeed financially, or why their lives seem to have so much pain.  and usually, there is some clue sitting right in front of them: their maps of reality are distorted, and one can see it in their waist lines, their relationship history, or their inability to create goods and services cherished by their chosen community.  Accepting goals in these three arenas is a process of "re-calibrating" the perceptual apparatus.  It isn't lack of will power that creates obesity (we're not talking about a little `spare tire' here--that is probalby just lifestyle, and values incompatable iwth a lean body).  Ask almost anybody who's been 80 pounds overweight or more, lost it, and kept it off.  They'll tell you that the change was emotional.  They DECIDED to change.  They dealt with the abuse, confusion, depression, or whatever, and adjusted their habit patterns.
The same thing is true in relationships.  If you have a series of disasters in thiws regard...if you wouldn't want your ex's to be the ones holding the rope if you were dangling off a cliff, you have to look at YOU.  YOU chose them.  They were the best YOU could do at the time.  As Ian Fleming said in "Goldfinger", "Once is happenstance.  Twice is coincidence.  The third time, it's enemy action."  We are our own enemies.  Face the truth of what is happening within you, and you create the possibility of a new, better future.

Fear and Anger

On the "Lifewriting" discussion group, someone said that I thought Fear and Anger are the same thing.  No, I don't .  My comment is that "anger is a mask over fear."  In other words, anger is,  in a manner of speaking, a different vibration of the same energy.  Often, it is more useful (non-paralytic).  It doesn't freeze you, and alows action.  On the other hand, it can obscure what is really going on.  Next time you're dealing with an angry person, ask yourself "what might they be afraid of?"  You will probably find that question leading you to a deeper, better, understanding.

LOSCON

Attended Loscon yesterday, and today.  This is the local convention of the Los Angeles Science Fantasy Society, held at the Airport Marriot.  In general, I'd say a good time was had by all, although it was occassionally a bit tough to see some of my old friends looking a bit frail and...well, not well at all.  Sigh.  Time does catch up with us, time, and sometimes a tendency to treat our bodies as if they are disposable appendages.   Great people, not-so-great habit patterns.
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We had a panel today on mining our friend's lives for story characters.  Jerry Pournelle, Larry Niven, David Gerrold and I were on the panel.  Many amusing anecdotes were told (Jerry is a great racontour), but the point I wanted to make is that real human beings are impossibly complex, far too complicated to serve as story characters without major modification.  The most complex character in all of western fiction (arguably), Hamlet, is still only 1% as complex as a real human being.  One of the considerations is that there is a unity between character and plot: the are, in essence, two sides of a single coin.  Plot is what a character does in a given situation.  A plot must empty a character out, give us everything we need to know about the lead, or the story situation hasn't been thought through very well.
In life, it is reasonable to take the position that we are what we do.  True, this is not ALL that we are, but what we do is closer to this essence than what we "think" we are, or what others define us as.  Everyone knows that we judge each other on our actions, and it is childish to pretend otherwise.
We learn to characterize by formulating a theory of human nature, and then testing it against the people around us--our family and friends.  All throughout this blog, I'll be expressing a theory of human nature, one I am prepared to defend at great length.  Now, I'm not saying you have to accept it, but whatever your own theory is, you should understand it from every direction, and be able to apply it to understand your own strengths and weaknesses.
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Look at the three major areas of human life: body, mind, and spirit.  What does your body say about you?  Believe me, it says worlds about your values, discipline, emotional health, habit patterns and more.  What does your career say about you?  Are you operating at full efficiency there?  Do you complain about money troubles, but not do anything about it?  Do you dream, but not perform?  Or are you working at a job that you would continue to do even if you won the lottery? To me, this is a major sign of an active, healthy intellect--the ability to do for a living that which you would do for free.  What about your relationship with your husband/wife/significant other?  To me, this is where you reveal yourself most clearly.  You ARE your partner, flipped upside-down and inside out.  If you like what you see across the breakfast table from you, great.  If not, you have work to do.  Remember: whoever you see over there was the best you could do.   If  you could have gotten someone smarter, handsomer/prettier, emotionally healthier--you would have.  So take a hard look.  Often, you can learn more from a person's partner than you can from meeting the person.

Viewed in this way, there is a lifetime of study in understanding the people around us, and in understanding ourselves as well.  And a lifetime of potential stories in examining how people's flaws and gaps keep them from achieving their full potential.  It can be painful to look at this stuff, but the only thing more painful is being terminally untrue to your own spirit.  That, my friends, is a true tragedy.  Better the pain of awareness than the agony of self-betrayal.  By a long shot.



Check out my new blog site:
http://journals.aol.com/sebarnes/STEVESBLOG/

Statement of Purpose

Hi to everyone.  For those looking in  for the first time, my name is Steven Barnes, and for the last thirty years I've been fascinated by human development.  Over the last two years, I believe I've made some real breakthroughs, and am looking for the best way to share them.  I'm going to be talking about this stuff here on my blog, through the vehicle of discussing my life, which is pretty much an open book.

To be as brief about this methodology, which is called "Lifewriting", as possible, I have to relate it specifically to my own life and goals, specifically the process of writing, although it can be applied to just about anything.  A few basics:

1)  Joseph Campbell's model of "The Hero's Journey" is used to diagram the process of life, and the process of writing.  It joins the inner and outer aspects of the craft.
2) The yogic "Chakra" system is used to diagram character, and also the structure of the human being--the energies that one must master to master life.
3) "The Golden Hour" which is my daily practise designed to unite body, mind and spirit so that I automatically perform at whatever my greatest level of excellence might be.
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The concept of balance is crucial.  And that means physical health/fitness, spiritual/emotional health (measured in the health and sanity of your primary intimate relationship), and intellect/career.  All three must be factored in.  Almost everyone will try to short one of these three areas.   Common excuses:
1) "Oh, I don't have time to lose the weight."
2) "I don't have energy to pursue my actual goals"
3) "My husband/wife is the problem in my relationship...not me."

Let me be blunt.  The Lifewriting method is designed to help you reach your own full potential, but the only way to do it is to take complete responsibility for your body, your heartspace connections, and your career progress.  If you're a writer, this will be perfect for you.  If not, please post, and we'll discuss how to adapt it to your needs.

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You'll notice I sell a product.  Fine.  But this isn't what the blog is about.  In fact, I will happily tell you how to find free versions of most (if not all) of what is in the "Five Minute Miracle" tape/DVD, and the Lifewriting method.  I don't make a living selling self-improvement stuff.  I will answer any questions about the method, free, on this blog.

No, I don't think I'm perfect.  I don't think anyone is.  I think that enlightenment is a verb, not a noun.  A process, not a position.  I do believe that it is possible to make genuine progress toward self-realization.  You don't need gurus or teachers--although they CAN be helpful.  You have all the strength and knowledge and experience you need--if you will just begin to tell the truth about your experience of life.

1) Better Writing
2) Better health and fitness
3) Better relationships
4) Better sex
5) Peace of mind
6) More Creativity
7) Greater unity with your own, personal spiritual path.

I can promise any or all of the above.  I can't promise it will be easy.  It ain't.  But then again, few worthwhile goals are.  If they were, you'd already have 'em.


Steve


Check out my new blog site:
http://darkush.blogspot.com

SEED OF CHUCKY

So, allright, I have a weakness for Chuckie the killer doll. This installment, the first directed by Don Mancini, who has written all of 'em, is both more and less interesting than the others.
The addition of a quasi-hermaphroditic (actually "non-sexed") child voiced by Billy Boyd is alternately touching and rediculous. The body count is appropriately high, and most performers seem to be having a good time.
Still, there are major plot holes (how exactly did Chuckie track down that photographer) which torpedo the fun. Internal consistency is vital in a fantasy work. Still, except for rapper Redman suffering the inevitable fate of a black man who dares to both be IN a horror movie and to kiss a white actress (horrors!) it ain't bad for the fans. For those sickos give it a "B". For the rest of the sane and healthy world, give it a "D+"

Hipshot

Having a bit of a bad day. Had to put my dog Hipshot down this morning. He couldn't walk, could barely eat, or bark, or control his bladder. All he could do was love me, and that he did very well. They shaved his leg, and gave him a shot. I held him as he laid his head down, and then he was just...gone.

I'll deal. I guess it's not supposed to be easy, is it? I promised him I'd get him down to California. I wish I could have offered him more. I hope he never regretted chosing me as his master. I hope he knows how much I loved him.

Up Early today...

Today my dog Hipshot’s efforts to get himself from the floor awakened me at about 6:30. Hippy is starting to get pretty arthritic, and it hurts to see the difficulty he’s having in the most basic tasks. Sigh. Time catches up with everyone, but it’s sad how fast it hits doggies.

Anyway, I decided to cut my morning meditation short, and got up, checked my e-mail, had a cup of tea, and started my morning yoga.
These days, the “Golden Hour” (which actually varies between 40 and 110 minutes, depending on my mood) alternates between Ashtanga yoga (Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday) and either Clubbells or Kettlebells on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. On these days I’m also starting to filter in my Serak djurus, and what I call “Advanced Tibetans”, my experimental progression on the invaluable “Five Tibetans.”

Then I got to work on my current book project, a murder mystery set 30,000 years ago in East Africa entitled “Great Sky Woman.” This one has been almost grotesquely difficult, but, God, I love working on it!

Felt an energy crash come on about 3:30, after polishing 100 pages of text, so I took a nap. I’m just getting up now, and wanted to add an entry here, hoping to motivate myself to be more regular in my journaling.

That’s all for now…

THE INCREDIBLES

Just see it. Pixar's remarkable meditation on superheroes is damned near perfect. Maybe five minutes too long, but I'd be hard pressed to tell you where to cut it.
The story of "Mr. Incredible", forced to retire from the superhero biz, (shades of "The Watchmen") and "Elastigirl" his wife (voiced by Holly Hunter) is so moving, so excellent, so honest, and so fun that to praise it too much would actually detract from the process of audience discovery. Basically, if you have any inclination to see a movie likethis, you just won't be disappointed.
I'm giving it an "A+", with prayers that Pixar changes not a single member of its creative team for the next decade.

AFTER THE SUNSET

Starring two of our most photogenic actors (Pierce Brosnan and Salma Hayek), this "caper" yarn feels overly familiar, like a TV movie made from a favorite long-running show. Two retired thieves trying to make a go of Island living are pulled back in for one last heist.
Of course, everything is way complicated, and very very sexy. Don Cheadle is amusing in his affectations as a social-climbing ganglord, and Woody Harrelson plays an FBI agent who has been chasing Brosnan for too damned many years.
Frankly, it all feels like a live-action Lupin III film, with Harrelson as Zenigata and Brosnan as Lupin, and Hayek as Fujiko. In case those references go over your head, trust me--Lupin would have been more interesting. Give this a "C" for pretty scenery.

Regarding racial selectivity in Horror/SF Films

http://www.feoamante.com/Movies/racial.html