Unleashed (2005)

I'd been waiting almost a year to see this, ever since I'd heard of the casting (Jet Li, Bob Hoskins, Morgan Freeman) and the original title ("Danny the Dog") and the writer/producer (Luc Besson). finally saw this tale of a man (Jet Li) who has been abused (by a snarling Bob Hoskins) into being an attack dog, and his slow climb to humanity at the hands of a blind piano tuner (Morgan Freeman, in best Spiritual Guide mode) and his daughter. One critic suggested that it is as if someone built an entire film around the Frankenstein monster's encounter with the blind man...and that's a pretty good comment. I'll say this: the movie is good enough that I wish it was better. It is certainly and by far Jet Li's best English-language film, so good that I can easily see how it could have been a classic, given certain changes. But also, it was probably about as good as it was ever going to be.
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for those of you sick of my rantings about certain sociobiological problems manefesting in the rigid roles of non-whites in film, I'd suggest you stop reading now. Rant time is about to begin. ##
Basic premise: that non-white males are not allowed to have sex in movies. That this is due to audience distaste, not "Hollywood" squeamishness, and that the fact of this can be determined simply by looking at box-office receipts over the entire history of film.
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How could "Unleashed" have been better? Well, let's start with the obvious fact that if this had been a film starring, say, Jean-Claude Van Damme (back when he was a star of consequence), it would have included his sexual awakening. In fact, there is clearly a moment in the film where he is supposed to get his first kiss. He states that it is "wet...and nice." Much like the comment made by Dustin Hoffman in "Rainman." Of course, in that film, Hoffman is kissed on the lips, and in "Unleashed" he is kissed on the cheek. The lack of this core reality, that human beings are sexual, creates an uncomfortable unreality about films like this, where the directors and writers strain to portray humanity without allowing the characters to do what they would naturally do. Morgan Freeman is a beautiful example of this. This great actor has had...wait for it...exactly ONE screen kiss in his entire career. Please stop and think about how incredibly artificial that makes many of his movies, including the two suspense films "Along Came a Spider" and "Kiss The Girls", both made from novels in which the lead character was quite sexual. Both converted, on screen, into the kind neutered male image white America seems most comfortable with. (Remember, people, that my premise is that if the conditions were reversed, black males would be just as aversive to allowing whites to drop trou onscreen. In no way am I suggesting that whites are special in this, or any other regard.) What is a "Spiritual Guide"? An image of a white or black person, usually male, who exists only to help a white person succeed, or learn a life lesson. Spiritual guides have no outside interests or relationships or on-screen human connections. "Bagger Vance," "The Karate Kid," "Crossroads", "Bruce Almighty", "Driving Miss Daisy" and countless other films contain this beloved, acceptable, non-threatening image. In all fairness, Morgan Freeman's role in "Unleashed" isn't quite a spiritual guide by this definition. He has another human connection--a daughter. And, of course, Jet Li isn't white. But it is interesting that his daughter is white--a step-daughter. Sociobiologically, he is a genetic dead-end investing in another man's progeny. But even I can admit that is a bit mean-spirited of me...
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The fact that the film-makers would not allow Jet Li to be a fully fleshed male (even a dog has the instinct to rut), and that they are flirting with the image of the sexless Spiritual guide in the same film where the white character, Bob Hoskins, is presented as a fully-sexed hyper-male banging white and Asian women, borders on the offensive, and suggests that they were at a bit of a remove from the very questions of humanity that might have led them to balance the story a bit. You'll rarely hear this from me, but...they could have used a bit less violence. It didn't need to be so cartoony if you allow the characters to be more than two-dimensional. And this story of a fragile, wounded family in a hostile world could have used more threat at the end, with a not-so-invulnerable Jet Li, suddenly aware that he is flesh and blood, struggling to keep the only people he has ever loved, and have ever loved him, safe from harm. This was, potentially, a martial arts masterpiece. Hell, forget that--it was potentially an action-film masterpiece, a suspense masterpiece. Well, that might be a LITTLE bit much, because although Li did the best acting of his English-language career, he is still only adequate in that regard. His real acting is his incredibly kinetic body, which can do things far beyond the norm, and, surrounded by the right cast, and the right script, and the right people, might have created a breakthrough blockbuster. But on the other hand, it is entirely possible that that film still would have been rejected by the audience, for reasons we have addressed.
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What do I think? I think that the audience is ready. That the right film, made with courage and vision, could break through and even become a social event, making money hand over fist. But someone would have to have taken a risk. And no one wanted to. So instead of a classic, it's just the best film Jet Li has done outside of Asia. No small thing, but it could have been so much more. I'll give it a "B+", and pray for better days to come.

Rest, Exercise, Nutrition

One of the things most interesting about the entire process of increasing or maintaining fitness is the necessity to maintain...(wait for it) balance between three aspects: rest, exercise, and nutrition. You know, if you have too much or too little of any of these things, the organism will not adapt successfull. Remember: as you attempt to increase stress on your body, you have to give yourself time to adapt to that stress. Your body doesn't grow stronger when you stress it: it grows stronger when you rest. The exercise, in that sense, is just a message to your brain that you have to get more physically fit in order to function in your world. There is a great deal of specificity in this: tell your body you need more endurance, you get more endurance. More strength, and you get more strength. More explosiveness, and you get more of this.
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Recently, I was pushing myself in some core ways, playing with the Bruiser (more on that later), Hindu Squats and Pushups, and a new exercise protocol I won't talk about yet that Coach Sonnon is working with. I'll just say that it's arguably his most significant development, and will make his ideas available to an entirely new market. Very exciting.
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But over the last year and a half, I've been dealing with mega-stress: new baby, moving, massive career upheavals. I've told you guys about some of the good stuff, but what I haven't stressed is the magnitude of the "Dark Night" that I had to go through to get there. Wow. Trust me, I will at some point. The reason I bring this up, however, is that rest has been hard to come by, at the same time that I've been hitting myself with massive physical, intellectual, and emotional stress. I'm afraid that that stress was doing everything in its power to become strain, and I had to use every trick I know to keep that from happening. Wasn't always successful, and that manefested as a sore, tired, weighed-down feeling, a descending spiral of fatigue and discouragement. The physical and emotional reinforce each other (which is why its so powerful to work on both simultaneously) so this felt like slogging through mud with a log across my shoulders.
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So, I worked on every aspect of the Energy question I could think of. Rest: was I meditating enough? Getting enough quality sleep? Nutrition: was I eating well enough? Of the right quality and quantity of food? You know, both of these areas were pretty good. But in the exercise arena, I think I found a culpret. I'd actually been pushing myself too hard. The yoga, martial arts, Hindu Squats and so forth were simply taxing my recovery ability beyond its threshold, leading to a chronic sense of fatigue, where I never had a chance to catch my breath. Yuck. So as much as I hated the idea (ah! An exercise addiction symptom!) I backed off from the six day a week plan, and am now floating at around four days. We'll see how it works out, but today, having done nothign but the Warrior Wellness drills yesterday, I awoke feeling considerably better. And that's a necessity: the opportunities opening right now are vast and wonderful. I have to be ready for the challenge!

Steve

What the (bleep) do we know (2004)

Alternately exhilarating and deeply disappointing, this thinly disguised propaganda tract for a woman channeling a 25,000 year old Atlantean warrior named Ramtha (!) actually has some good ideas concerning Quantum Physics and the way our consciousness affects our reality. But by mixing science, philosophy and psuedo-science so blatantly, they have done the public no service.

Understand my delimma: much of what they say, I agree with, but I don't like the way it was presented, with their talking heads commentators not identified clearly until the end of the film, when their lack of rigorous credentials felt, to me, deeply disappointing. (A chiropractor, A grad student, What?) Sigh.

Worst of all are occassional comments like "Earth is the only planet in the entire Milky Way" where the God-concept has been so corrupted. What? I almost wanted to cry. Marley Matlan filmed dramatic sequences demonstrating how an uptight wedding photographer has created netagive results in her life through her attitude (and I'm sorry--it was VERY difficult to understand her doubtless painstakingly cultivated speech.

She's done better, believe me. To have everyone acting as if she was perfectly comprehensible was, in itself, a distraction.) I wanted to love this movie. I came within a hair's breath of leaping to Amazon to buy a copy, thinking that I knew people who needed to see its insights into the way consciousness affects health. And now...I'm not sure. Need to think about it more carefully. Folks, when you are playing with the "edges" of reality here, it is important to clearly label what is opinion and what is current scientific fact. Cherry-picking your experts is one thing. By the end of this overlong tract, they've entered new territory.

Still, with that caveat, it's worth a look, and I'd give it a "B". Without that caveat, I give it a "D". Sigh.

Writer's Yearlong 5-11-05: You can run out of clever...

Some of you think that I haven't been supporting the year-long writer's program. Hah! Read between the lines, people. There is Art, and there is Craft. Craft has been addressed rather thoroughly on the structural level--the Hero's Journey, which comprises the best, and most universal story structure that has ever existed in this world: becuase it mirrors the course of our lives. Please note that you aren't supposed to simply line up your story elements, one for each of the ten steps, and think you have a story: no more than you can jsut play the 88 keys of a piano in order, and think you have a composition. But Once you understand the emotional resonance each of these steps has, you are free to create.
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If I were you, I wouldn't listen tot he cynics who blame the Lucasfilm prmo machine for "creating" a link between Campbell's work and Star Wars. If promotion machines could create a hit, no movie would ever fail. Believe me, the studios would love to believe that all they needed to do to make a profit was promote. What happened to most of the American Idols? What happened to the synthetic pop groups created by reality shows? What happened to Gigli or Cleopatra or any of the countless high-profile studio films that just flat tanked? They didn't catch the public's eye and ear and heart. And they bombed. No. Lucas didn't create the link. You can look at any film that has earned over 100 million dollars, and you will see, quite clearly, the mark of the Hero's Journey. Because it is life. And when film, book, or story does not reflect life, all you have left is some individual's philosophical or conceptual position, which appeals to a much smaller audience. Nothing wrong with that--but jsut understand that that is what happens.
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The Chakras are the most comprehensive model of human psychology known t man. For six thousand years, they have reigned supreme. Jung believed that in comparison, Western psychology was only half-way to the top. All you need to do to create an endless source of stories is look at every single human being around you. All are flawed and damaged. None are perfect in every chakra. "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." Now...ask yourself which chakra seems to hold the most damage for them? this will be an arena where they react with fear and anger. This may also be an arena where they have achieved unusual levels of excellence. For instance, I know several martial arts masters who had a stunningly horrific home life in early childhood. Where they were physically and emotionally threatened almost daily. What else would motivate them to achieve such advanced levels of lethality? Organisms are quite parsimonious. They do the minimum necessary to get an effect. When you see someone who has invested huge amounts of energy, do the math.
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Sexuality? Rape, abuse, and premature sexual awakening leave clues and scars. I know several men and women who engaged in sex quite early in life. Sometimes abuse, sometimes seduction, often representing the betrayal of an older authority figure. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM is having enormous problems, or had enormous problems, creating that conservative, one-on-one bonded relationship. Every one. Most have stormy, short-term relationships, are serial cheaters, or reject such relationships altogether. Many are obese and emotionally dysfunctional. Some became predators themselves.
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Power issues? That's my arena. Being raised by my mother and sister, my father not being there, and the culture telling me I was garbage, I became obsessed with the "what is it to be a man" question. The added burden of my skin color made it difficult to accept the cultural answers. I went into the martial arts, but my geekdom and blackness combined in some really poisonous ways, such that I was never able to simply enjoy the give-and-take of sparring like normal guys. It always impacted emotionally on me as if it was actual combat, and took an enormous toll, anchoring massive pain to what shouldhave been a pleasurable activity. One of the great regrets of my life. Yeah, I stuck with it long enough to get two black belts, but as my confidence in my ability to defend myself rose, my internal motivation to continue putting myself thorugh the grief was harder and harder to sustain. Like I said: one of my life's great regrets, and those who have worked out with me over the years know exactly what I'm talking about. Just being honest here. By the way, in actual confrontations I actually have LESS adrenal overload response than in "play sparring."! Go figure.
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Heart/emotion? Who hasn't taken blows here? Who hasn't blown relationships, or had them blow up around us in devastating ways? Those kinds of hits create scar tissue, and as our emotions become less flexible, we lose our spontaneous joy in living, and start building small, careful, joyless lives.
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Communication? Who ever feels that the world really, truely, deeply, understands us? That is an existential delimma that cult recruiters and abusive husbands play on to vast effect.
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Intellect? Who doesn't struggle to understand the world, to gain that elusive sense of "having it all together" and grasping the total meaning. Who isn't intimidated by someone's intellect, or hasn't dealt with the world being intimidated by our own?
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Spirit? Who does not fear death? Who does not wonder about the ultimate destiny of those parents, friends, and mentors we have lost? Who does not want to knowo where we fit inthe overall structure of Things?
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The road from one of these chakras to the next is the Hero's Journey, a process of accepting responsibility, moving forward (or inward) , gathering allies and abililties, facing our limitations, finding our faith, and teaching others. Identify the wounds in the people around us. Heck--identify your own frigging wounds. Design a series of events that would force that person (or yourself!) to grow, or give them a chance to fail tellingly. And then write the story, ladies and gentlemen. Don't worry about being clever. Just be honest. You can run out of clever, but you can never run out of the truth.

Where is Spirituality?

One of the most frequent questions I get is: "where is spirituality in your equation?  Fitness, Relationship, career...doesn't seem to be much room for God there, now is there..?"
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I'd laugh, if this weren't such a serious issue.  And if I have to explain this a thousand times, it could never be too often.  Look again at the chakras.  Spirit is the tip of the tree, the top of the chakra ladder.  As such, it is dangerous  to attempt to approach it directly.  "You can awaken the kundalini from the base up, or from the heart out, but never from the top down."  I have known many, many people who considered themselves spiritual, but were completely blown out in the more basic arenas, and spent their lives wandering from church to church, guru to guru, seeking inner peace.  they craved relationships or material success, and hadn't the slightest idea how to find it.  They wanted healthy bodies, but would rapidly lose the first five or ten pounds...and then be stimied.  And not understand why.  After all, they are spiritual.  God (in all His/Her worldwide aspects) promises health and happiness to those on the true path. The ability to manefest miracles.  Why, then, are these simple arenas of fulfillment denied?
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All right, I'm going to come out of the closet on this one, and speak plainly.  Because these people are deluded.  They think they have spiritual connection, and what they have is a despreate grip on a mirage.  Yes, I've known people I considered deeply spiritual who were "overweight", or "broke" or "celebate."  But that is not the same as a person who fails at diet and exercise, struggles with their finances through failed business after business, or is stuck in a loveless, sexless marriage.  Sorry.  You can't take your failures and hold them up as badges of honor.  The acetic "small boat" is not for most of us, and I'd say that better than 99% of the people who claim to have a direct connection to God while their families splinter into dysfunction are simply conning themselves.  It is so sad.
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The reverse, on the other hand, is much more direct.  It is my believe that in 99% of the cases, a person who is healthy in body, who provides goods and services valued by his community--and has the self-love and self-respect to demand what he is worth, and has a healthy, sexy relationship with his spouse and a loving intimacy with his children...that person lives in the light of God.  It is very difficult to imagine otherwise, although I'm sure there are cases out there.  It is the "big boat", the path to spiritual development that is available to all who are willing to take responsibility for their past results, and commit to a balanced, healthy future.
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Connie Rae Andreas of NLP Comprehensive in Colorado has a process she calls "Core Transformation."  It is unbelievably beautiful, and a major breakthrough in my conceptualization of these things.  What I believe she proved is that all human behaviors, no matter how brutal and destructive, are attempts to access the divine.  That's right--including rape, murder, arson, and robbery.  We are trying to satisfy those basic Maslowian needs for power and security in such a way that we can feel secure, and rise to the next level.  And if those needs are fullfilled, the natural and indeed inevitable result is that evolutionary surge.  It is natural, as natural as all water eventually making its way to the sea.
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God is like the wind.  Invisible.  You can't see the wind, but you CAN see the effects of the wind--the grass blowing.  Our eyes and minds cannot directly address the divine.  but by chosing our "grass" carefully, we can see which way the wind blows.  I've chosed body, career, relationship.  Some of those on this board have made other choices, and I honor and love them.  I can't pretend to read minds, to know if those choices are genuinely satisfying, or if t hey are deluding themselves (as, indeed, I may be deluding myself.  There are no absolute answers this side of the grave.  That's why they call it Faith).  However, I've never seen a single person hurt themselves if they DO take responsibility for these three arenas as I've described them.  And, as long as they understand progress is slow and gradual, and will involve many Dark Nights of the Soul along the way, they grow and change and blossom.  That is what I wish for all of you. 
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So where is spirituality?  It is in the center of the triangle describe by body, career, and relationship.  It is the place behind your eyes, the thing you cannot see.  It is the human soul itself, hidden in the last place you would ever look.

Within you.

Control and Responsibity

I spent some time recently with a friend who is in a bad marriage, and who struggles with health issues: weight, energy, etc. It was interesting to note that, pressed for explanations, every bad circumstance in her life was the responsibility of someone else. The bad marriage? Her husband talked her into marrying him. He wasn't really her type, but there was no one else around. Her chances of re-marriage are nill: look at the statistics, and you'll see it's easier for men than women. Her weight? Genetics. Alienation of friends? She didn't want to invite them to her home, because then her husband would invite HIS friends, and she didn't want them around. She had no choice...
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Yada, yada, yada. When she looks into the future, she is worried because she sees no way to have control or serious influence on what happens. When she looks back, she has no responsibility for the way her life has turned out. And there, of course, is the problem.
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She can't see that if she divorces her husband, she will simply go out and find another version of him: old wine in new skins. And of course, she won't recognize the similarities until it is too late, because she'll be focussed on the external aspects. And because she doesn't see how she and her husband are mirror-images. He just "happened" to her. Her lack of self-confidence, personal responsibility, and clarity are precisely matched by elements in his own personality I won't go into: I have no right to identify them in any way. But trust me, it's there. And until she takes control of herself, and takes responsibility for the decisions she's made, the same patterns will repeat.
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Why does this happen? Because we're afraid to really see ourselves, really look within. This is a person I've told for over a decade to meditate, and she simply won't do it. She is afraid of what she might find inside. My interpretation? On a deep, deep level, she does not love herself, treasure herself, value herself as a precious daughter of God. This is borne out in some other attitudes she has, which, once again, I won't go into here.
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But this self-love is so incredibly vital. It gives us the strength to begin that inner journey, knowing that all we will find within in the divine. As we run into layers of ca-ca, (which is inevitable), no matter how painful it may be, be can have faith that, deeper down, we will reach spirit once again. Without this faith, we wait for someone to rescue us, or sell ourselves short, or believe we have no power to affect our lives. We have some vague, fragile sense of our own worth, one easily shattered, and throw ourselves into the arms of any doctor, therapist, pundit, politician, or lover who says that they have answers. The answers we are looking for are within. The world outside is, inevitably, impossibly complex for our conscious minds to control or ultimately understand. But within, there is peace, as there is in the eye of the hurricane.
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Within, there is the assurance we need to let our egos die. And the motion from any one phase or level of our lives to another involves the fear of ego death. We can either take these steps deliberately, or wait for life to force our hand. There is no avoiding the death...but we can take it small doses at a time, more on our schedual than according to the vagaries of fate.
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The path to "control" of your future is "responsibility" for your past. Your body, your relationships, your career. The less control you feel you have in life, the more stress rips you apart. Go within, and you gain responsibility and control. Go deeper, and you will find that "you" have no control at all, but that something deeper and wiser and more powerful within "you" does. The ego must surrender to discover this. Ultimately, your ego always surrenders. Don't wait until your dying breath to discover this. "Die before you die."

House of Wax (2005)

Yeah, it sucks, but I have to admit that it was better than I had feared. After reading a whole host of reviews about this teens-versus-slasher re-imagining of the old Vincent Price classic, I was pleasantly surprised that Paris Hilton's acting was no worse than the typical blond sex object in such films, her black boyfriend's death no more humiliating than average, the teens acted in general with less idiocy than average,and that the third act was actually creative and fun. Quite violent once it gets started, it's more of a "Friday the 13th" type death-a-thon than a suspense movie, but does generate some suspense. Dark Castle, the production company responsible, probably has a modest winner here. I'll give it a B- for horror fans. For those who like entertainingly bloody FX, however, a solid B. All others beware.

Spirit-- and Will Smith

Wow.  I love Will Smith's new album "Lost and Found."  Not only does it feature some great dance jams, but for the first time he seems to be taking a page from Eminem's book and actually dealing with the circumstances of his life, his real feelings, the only true source of art.  Not that I'm saying its art, but it  strikes me as a quantum jump ahead of what I've heard from this remarkable man in the past.
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One of the tracks hits me especially hard, considering that we're wrapping up the chakras, dealing with issues of spirit.  That track, dealing with "an old friend" of his (who I strongly suspect was his ex-wife) who has become "a holy roller."  This lady, according to Smith, spent a lifetime screwing up and around, and now has found Jesus and screetches at the top of her lungs that anyone who doesn't act and believe as she does will attract the wrath of God.  The hook goes:

"Miss Holy Roller new Angel
Got your Bible out shoutin' and you're ringin' a bell
Mid-life Reborn!  Can't wait to tell
How if I don't believe what you believe, I'm goin' to hell."

The song is so dancable, so well done in a playfully-angry sense that it would be possible to miss the deadly serious intent, despite the fact that at one point Will drops the rhyme and speaks directly to his "friend" about her bigoted, fearful fundamentalism.  It's blistering, and I can't hear it often enough.  I hope it makes "Holy Roller" makes it to the radio, but I doubt it.
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Because spirituality is so intensely personal, our individual ways of making peace with the inevitability of our mortality must be treated with kid gloves, respected.  This is one of the things about America I love--it's intent to preserve religious freedom.  That is something worth dying for.  I've often said that I would rather live in a country run by the Mafia than the Church.  At least the Godfather won't torture you to death and tell you its for your own good.  I strongly suggest that meditation and prayer are avenues to vast reservoirs of inner strength.  I also suggest that if you have genuinely made that journey, you will see God everywhere, and aspects of God in all religions, and develop a vastly deeper ability to understand the myriad ways human beings have attempted to approach this ultimate question.  Some of the most spiritual people I've known were atheists, strange as that may sound to some of you.  Me personally, I describe myself as a Zen Christian--in other words, any of the principles of Christ I can verify in the interactions of animals and natural forces, I believe.  The rest, for me, is just politics.  Spirituality is like a beautiful tree bearing delicious, nourishing fruit.  The creators of all of these spiritual systems saw the Divine and planted trees...but as soon as they died, their followers, not blessed with the same vision, cut the trees down and built lovely buildings.  Those buildings are shelters, certainly.  But they're not alive, and they don't bear fruit.  The individual buildings must be animated by the spirit of the ministers, Shaykhs, Rabbis, priests, priestesses, whatever.  You must be a discriminating consumer, especially in this most vital arena of your life.  And genuinely spiritual people are rarer than rappers who don't curse. 

The American Dream

A reader notes:"Good post, but at the top of it you wrote:> I will also answer a question here about the younger generation of Black Americans, and some differences, positive and negative, that I see.##
Mike is correct. I DIDN'T answer that. As I've noted several times, these entries are just about stream of consciousness. I don't edit myself much, barely spell-check, and in the above case, didn't read back over to see what I'd promised to do. So, I will now.
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Do you want to know what I think of the opportunities available to black Americans right now? I think that this generation--the post WW2 generation and beyond, are, in those classic words, the Hope and the Dream of the slave. When slaves held each other and lay in their shacks, bones aching from labor, not knowing when the overseer might come and rape their wives or daughters, they could only pray for milk and honey on the other side. Or some few of them might pray for a better day, when bone-cracking effort from dawn till dusk might actually be invested in their own children rather than their masters. If those slaves knew that so many kids today believe that "nothing has changed" they would laugh and laugh...and cry and cry at the chilling, frightening ignorance of that attitude.
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Those born post 1970 have no idea at all of the suffering and deprivation their parents and grandparents went through, and in general they wouldn't WANT to know. I watch how little my darling Nicki wants to know about those days, and who can blame her? There is so much pain there, and so little joy.
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the cynical side of me says that Black Americans gained their rights exactly one generation after large numbers of Black men returned from WW2 knowing how to kill white people. But that's just my cynical side. The truth is that America isn't a nation, it's a dream of freedom that has been building in te human race for about three thousand years, ideas twining together from around the globe, with some major evolutionary bumps among the Algonquin, the Greeks, and with the writing of the Magna Carta, among others. The seeds took root on the last major piece of un-Westernized or Easternized land--the Americas. Unfortunate for the Native Americans, of course, but, heck, almost everybody's gotten screwed in this game.
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Young Americans, especially those who have not traveled outside the country, sometimes have some bizarre notion that America is some horrific, vampiric entity crouching over the planet and sucking its resources, the most evil and dominating force that has ever existed. Young African-Americans, lacking the historical perspective that plagues kids white AND black, often see nothing but the downside, in the same way that fish don't know they're wet. We've got a strange situation in America where obesity is a sign of POVERTY. What? If that isn't the most topsy-turvy bizarro-world reality imaginable, I don't know what is. Black Americans are, in the main, the wealthiest, most powerful, best educated Black people who have ever walked this planet, but it is hard to see that, because our only points of comparison are whites, who have (on the average) even more. Being black in America is like being an abused child in a wealthy house. But that is the material side. What of the spiritual?
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And there, Africans have us hands down. they know who they are. they have their land, their language, their gods (although many of them have accepted Christianity or Islam, every African also knows someone in his family who knows the old ways), their names. They know who they are, and even if paralyzed by the deprivations of colonialism, they know what they lost. Black Americans don't even know what they lost, and often deal with a crippling fear that they ARE as inferior as many whites consider them to be. And that is the most horrific legacy of slavery.
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I remember when "The Bell Curve" came out. I bought and read a copy of that vile piece of propadanda immediately. If the premise was false (and so I believe it to be) then I needed to be able to refute it. If the book was accurate, on the other hand, then the disease needed to be properly diagnosed and remedies found, if remedies there were. One does a patient no favor to ignore the symptoms of a deadly disease. But my black friends gave me ENDLESS crap about reading that book. They virtually accused me of being a race traitor. Remember what I say about anger being a mask over fear? Well, if they were angry (and they were) then what were they afraid of? THAT THE BOOK MIGHT HAVE BEEN RIGHT. That blacks really WERE and ARE inferior intellectually. Hell, we'd been told that, directly and indirectly, every day for four hundred years. You don't think that that sinks in? The most egregious legacy of slavery is the belief systems that kept it in place. Slavery could exist because whites told themselves, each other, and black folks that slavery was good for black people. Heck, these poor ignorant stupid savages were being uplifted by their imprisonment and brainwashing. Rape was good for their gene pool. Go ahead--do your research. This was their position. The real problem is that the belief systems outlived the institution that they were designed to support.
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And there is the problem. As segregation crumbled in the 60's, the integrity of the black community, as a geopolitical entity, crumbled with it. I was there. Once upon a time, pretty much all blacks lived in the same neighborhoods: rich and poor, educated and ignorant, preacher and junkie. It was a full community, with all the strengths and weaknesses of any other community. There were limitations: we were told point-blank that there were schools we could not attend, jobs we could not hold, hotels we could not sleep in, restaurants we could not eat in, neighborhoods we could not live in, women we could not marry--although white males could, and have always, had access to our women. Come integration, the most visible barriers crumbled, and those who could get out generally did. Instead of holding together the schools and businesses in the inner cities, in the "ghettos", they went to good jobs on Wall Street, Beverly Hills, Washington, Century City...whereever else competant, capable, energetic people went. And if it took them 110% effort to get what white people got for only 100%, well, what of it? Their parents reminded them daily that once upon a time, a black man could exert 200% effort and get only 50% of the results. In comparison, that looked damned good!
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And now? There is virtually no arena of human endeavor where I don't see intelligent, well-educated, focussed black people kicking much ass. Are they represented in the proportions I would like? Nope. But the progress, just in my lifetime, has been stunning. And please note--that progress would have been IMPOSSIBLE if the majority of white people were not good, decent, caring people who basically just want to create safety and security for their own families. the number of helping hands out there are literally countless. Liberals want to help you out of guilt and love. Conservatives want to help you because, if you measure up, you can help make a stronger America...and out of love. Yes, there are bigots, but they no longer have the force of law behind them, and just two generations ago, they did.
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Young black Americans are, too often, unaware of their history. So are white Americans, but their safety net is vastly stronger. They don't need the strength that comes from knowing your roots, knowing what you have survived. Remember the Dark Night of the Soul? The accomplishment of ANY goal takes you to that point. And brothers and sisters, if you have ANY excuse for failure,--too black, too young, too old, too short, too gay, too female, too fat, WHATEVER, then your inner demons will whisper to you, and you will succumb to the "I Can't because" crowd. And they are legion.
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So what do I see? I see legions of smart, proud, capable young black people in colleges all over the country. They are starting businesses. They are working their way up the corporate ladders (more females than males, for obvious sociobiological reasons--they're less threatening). they are doing well in countless ways. And, they are also filling jails and projecting negative images through some of the most ignorant, lowest common denominator music and popular entertainment in the history of the communication media. Popular radio now has a far wider spectrum of possibilities, and blacks sing opera, play classical music and jazz and rock--but the specific image systems of rebellion and pain have always been intoxicating to rebellious teens, so white teenage money drives the engine of the Rap moguls. Political rap is driven to the edges, angry and vulgar rap with simplistic beat and zero melody takes center stage, and there is a gigantic money engine keeping it that way for the time being. And young black Americans, if they are as angry and alienated as their white counterparts, can find a hundred times as many reasons to believe they can't make it--even if, as I stated earlier, the answers for how to focus and uplift your life can be found in any Waldenbooks in the country. Unfortunately, too many of these kids, because of the collapse of the geopolitical black community, have no role models of possibility, so they slide into the belief that they cannot.
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I have criss-crossed this country, and seen some of the wealthiest and poorest people in America. I've traveled to Europe and Africa, and seen poverty the likes of which most of these kids cannot even imagine. I know that people the world over have watched America flail like a wounded giant, and make bad choices, but still love us. Still know that, in the main, we have used our power with greater conscience than any empire in the history of this planet. America is a dream worth sharing and preserving. And this generation of black Americans is the hope and the dream of the slave.

Seventh Chakra--Spirit

And now, at last, we come to Sahasrara, the seventh chakra, the abode of spirit.  Faith.  God.  Goddess.  However you conceptualize the ultimate realities of existence, that frontier beyond our rational minds. "What was the shape of your face before your parents were born?" and "what is our ultimate destiny after death?"  Every civilization on the planet has wrestled with these questions, and because flesh is mortal, so must we all.  However you engage with them, the answers you evolve must work for you.  You're not going to be able to lay this one off on parents, or society, or church...no one is responsible for your soul but you.  No one will be taking the step across the line between life and death with you.  This is your journey, and you have to come to conclusions about it that will get you through the night.
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This arena is so incredibly rich.  More people have fought and died for its answers and questions than for any other single reason in human history. The potential power locked within the issues of life and death and ultimate meaning is simply beyond calculation.  Some say there is nothing beyond the veil. Others, that there is everything.  WHAT IS YOUR TAKE ON IT?  YOUR BELIEFS?  If you haven't questioned the explanations given to you in childhood, it may be time to examine them anew.  You need to have serious reasons for your position on the universe, whatever that position is.
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Remember the Hero's Journey?  It states, very clearly, that no worthwhile goal can be approached without entering the Dark Night of the Soul, the moment of dispair, when all of your personal resources have been exhausted.  A completely disproportionate number of world-class champions in every endeavor of life have a belief in the divine.  This, of course, doesn't prove the existence of God--it does, however, suggest that a belief in something larger than yourself is one of the most useful things to have if your intent is to reach your ultimate potential.  In striving for excellence, we all reach the end of ourselves.  We all have times when there is nothing left.  What then sustains us?  Well, according to the Hero's Journey, there are only three things:
1) Belief in Self
2) Belief in Companions
3) Belief in a Higher Power.
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That's it.  And if you run out of all three, man, THERE is some depression for your butt.  It is horrifying to encounter someone who has run out of all three.  They can be absolutely paralyzed with fear and fatigue.  Believing there is nothing left, they just wait to die, give up completely. The trick, of course, is that there is always something left. The truth is that we never know how close to victory we are.  We never know if one more shovel of dirt will hit the mother load, one more pitch get the sale, one more push will beat the opponent.  We don't know.  It is not ours to know such things.  It is ours to choose life paths worth dying for, and then spend our life in the pursuit of excellence. 
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So we come to the end of the basic structure of Lifewriting: the Hero's Journey on the X axis (horizontal), and the Chakras on the Y axis (vertical).  Meld the two, and you have the beginning of a truely profound understanding of your life.  Because the Hero's Journey is a description of the path from one chakra--one level of development--to the next.  Because every good story is the tale of a human being rising from one level to the next.  Meditate on this, and the value of balance, and the management of stress, and you will find the secret of mastery.  You won't need teachers, or gurus, or therapist, if you can walk this road.  It is not for everyone.   It is for people who are basically healthy, capable of self-governance, and willing to seek career success, fitness, and a bonded relationship.  You now have the basic pattern.  Next, we begin to play with it.  See you then.

Steven Spielberg--and the FIVE MINUTE MIRACLE

Well, friends and neighbors, I had pitch meetings for THE GOOD HOUSE, the movie Tananarive and I are writing from her novel, set up at Gold Circle Films and Fox Searchlight and Fox 2000.  The meeting with Gold Circle went great (the president of the company asking, of course, if the race of the characters could be changed.  He's a great guy who dealt with us honestly and in a refreshingly straightforward manner.  The racial politics of his concern is another matter.)   At any rate, after that meeting, we were on Cloud Nine.  Forest Whittaker (our director--another great guy, who, by the way, practices Silat!) was enthusiastic, and Nia Hill, our producer, was ecstatic.  I knew that even more important meetings were coming the next day.  That's today. 
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I woke up this morning feeling stressed out.  In many ways, these meetings were what my professional career has been aiming at for all my life.  These were the highest-level pitches I'd ever had, and I knew I could do it...but was also roasting with stress.  I called my good friend Mushtaq to ask his advice.  He suggested that I use the Be Breathed technique as a meditation to center myself.  And I did.
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First, I spent 90 seconds generating the fear response, then did 15 minutes of Hindu Squats, Hindu pushups, and Be Breathed (using the Cards technique).  I came out of that recharged.  Driving to 20th Century Fox, every time the butterflies began to surface, I steadied my breathing with Be Breathed.  Before the meetings I did the same thing.  And the result?  Well...let's just say the whole day was golden.
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First, we found out that T's movie MY SOUL TO KEEP is going into production in the Fall.  Fox is cutting us a "big check" next week.  Heh heh.  The president of Fox Searchlight came to the commisary table where Nia, Forrest, Tananarive, Blair Underwood and I were having lunch.  The SOUL director, Rick Famiyuwa, just happened to be in town, and stopped by the table.  And having lunch just behind us was...Steven Spielberg.  Yep.  Doing post-production on WAR OF THE WORLDS.  Both Blair and Forrest have worked with him, and Forrest introduced us.  Nice man. 
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I sailed through today.  I think we have a movie deal (knock on wood!).  I turned stress into energy by keeping it from becoming strain, using the FIVE MINUTE MIRACLE.  Folks, I don't make my money selling these things.  Most of the money has gone back into the product, trying to make it better.  I wish you'd believe that if I could give you all free copies of it, I would.  But I can't, and my business partner would kill me.  So what I can do is try to let you get to know who I am, and tell you that I absolutely believe that we can have our dreams--if we define them clearly, keep them balanced, proceed toward them slowly and methodically, embrace our passion...and keep stress in check.  Get a copy today, guys.  You won't regret it.  You may or may not shake hands with E.T.'s poppa, but you'll deal with stress a heck of a lot better.  And that, in itself, is out of this world.

Sixth Chakra--resolving dualities

Remember, this is a core tenant of Lifewriting and what we’re calling The Mastery Technique: to see the balance point in all things (especially life) to have goals in all three arenas, to plunge into the maelstrom of life with the tools to prevent stress from becoming strain, and to process the emotional crap that arises from such a purifying process.If there is a pattern to some of my ranting on this blog, you are just seeing MY damage coming up. This is one of the places I’m venting. However, I try to see it all, once again, in balance. Some comments on how this all works out.RACE. Well, that’s a black and white issue (for me.) Anyone who looks at my picture knows that I am quite mixed: Black, White, and Native American. Because of the “One Drop” rule, of course, White America considered those who look like me to be black—so that they could be sold. Black America took this and tried to turn it into something to be proud of (“one drop makes you whole.”) Neither approach has the slightest amount of anthropological sense. It is purely social. I look at racial designations that way too—they don’t really shake out anthropologically or genetically, but they sure do socially. Looked at Socially, then, it is possible (but not inevitable) to say that there are three “real” racial groups: Caucasian, Negro, Asian. Black, White, Yellow. Call them the “primary colors” of the human race, from which all other groups can be formed. (Again, I’m speaking in terms of social reaction, not some biological distinction). Latinos, then, are not a separate group. Some are Black, some Yellow, some White, and most are a mixture. But socially, Latinos are mostly reacted to as if they are “exotic white people.” Why do I say this? The standard is this: how does America react to seeing a white woman being sexual or married to one? If there is some slight irritation, but mostly acceptance, then on a deep psychological level, they are “white.” For instance, Lucille Ball, America’s Sweetheart in the 50’s, and Desi Arnez. Ricardo Mantelban or Fernando Lamas as heartthrobs. No problem at all. What you won’t see is a bonified Asian or Black actor “crossing that line.” Dark-Skinned natives of India are also kinda “exotic white people” in the main. They also don’t seem to trip that negative reaction TO THE SAME DEGREE. And neither do Arabs. Danny Thomas (Lebanese), Omar Shariff, etc. etc. Exotic, yes, but “across the line” fully to being “Other”, no.
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This of course relates to the recent ranting about black men not being allowed to be sexual in films. A recent review of “House of Wax” in the L.A. Times makes much of the fact that Paris Hilton’s boyfriend in the film is black. And that nothing is made of it. NONSENSE. I don’t need to see the film to know that the “comment” is in the subtext. Both Paris Hilton and her boyfriend are doomed. They will both die horrible deaths—they crossed the color line. Again, this is 100% predictable without even seeing the film. If anyone out there has seen it and can tell me I’m wrong, please do so. Some will protest that it can’t be that cut and dried. Sorry. Yes, it is. I’ve been predicting this stuff for thirty years, and almost never been wrong. ##But this has less to do with black and white than it has with the natural tendency of human beings to assume “their” side is right and the “other” side is wrong. This leads to the next division:
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RIGHT versus LEFT. What fun this is to watch, especially on the touchy issue of race. The right tries to pretend that there are no substantive differences in the basic life situations that, say, blacks and whites find themselves. Then, they try to pretend that, given that premise, they aren’t saying that blacks are inferior. Wow! You can’t have it both ways, guys. The statistics clearly show blacks with higher incarceration rates, lower I.Q. scores, lower life expectancies, lower incomes, higher illegitimacy rates, you name it. You know, some of this stuff can be explained as invalid measurement systems, but some is pretty glaring. And when you look at it from a heads-or-tails perspective (which is, quite admittedly, too simplistic, but sometimes you need to be to cut to the chase), either the CONTEXT of the situation where black Americans find themselves is radically different, or the CONTENT of their genetics and/or character is radically different. Why mince words, guys? Stand up and be honest about what you’re saying! To me, the problem on the Right (in this regard) is that they can’t admit there are serious and pervasive difference. And the problem on the Left (in this regard—there are certainly others) is that there are deep and serious dysfunctional elements in black culture (hell, James Earl Jones probably put it better than I would dare to: “there is no Black culture.” No, not in the sense that Anthropologists speak of culture. That requires hundreds or thousands of years of relative isolation. That indicates separate languages, religions, cultural stories, philosophies, etc. etc.) There are hundreds of valid, deep, wise African cultures. But in the continental United States, the vast majority of black Americans are descended from those who specifically had culture, language, religion, names, and history stripped away from them, leaving them to be “programmed” with slave software. The problem is that they can’t go back to African culture, and they can’t just adapt the software of the majority culture—which holds that they are absolutely second-class human beings. The solution in my mind is to commit to going down into the “machine language” of humanity, to go deeper than culture, deeper than appearances, deeper than most groups of people ever have to go, and connect with the truth of this aspect of our existence—and then spread that knowledge. But to do it demands going beyond race, or left and right, to forgive, to find absolute self-love, and then embrace the totality of humanity. Nothing less will work. But you have to be able to look unblinkingly at the problems of being human AS THEY MANEFEST in left and right, white and black, male and female, etc. Nothing less will do.
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MALE and FEMALE. Men and women both have elements of “male” and “female” energy. Trying to designate these is a cause of much division and disagreement. I won’t get into that here. But both sides try to claim the majority of the “good stuff” for their side. Talk to a feminist about women being more nurturing, more intuitive, more peaceful and wise, and chances are you can lull her into agreeing with you. Ask her to list the balancing advantages of male energy, and you are likely to come up blank: anything men can do, women can do better. Talk to a typical piggy male and he will easily be lured into discussions about why 95% of the great art, science, political movements, etc. have been created by men—and they will (regretfully perhaps) have to do with, ahem, innate superiorities in men that it is not politically correct to discuss publicly. Both side do this crap. I remember in writing class I have a nasty habit of getting discussions of “male” and “female” energy going as follows (and please remember that this was designed to be deliberately provoking, not to reveal some deep, eternal, immutable truths). I would say: “If there was nothing but male energy in the world, the world would be a burned-out shell, strip-mined and hunted to extinction.” And the women in the class would cheer “right on.” Then I would continue: “and if there was nothing but female energy in the world, the entire population would consist of a few scattered bands of people living in grass huts in temperate zones, getting wiped out by the first predators that came along.” Needless to say, this always evoked yelps of protest. What? The second comment was less honest than the first? Really?
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The truth is going to be found BETWEEN the extremes. Be very, very careful of people who believe that it is heads or tails. No, it’s a nickel. It only looks like “heads” or “tails” to an ant crawling across the surface.
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What other issues can be peered into more deeply? Try: GAY and STRAIGHT (wow. The lies and hysteria around this issue, ranging from AIDS to gay marriage to what the differences between gay male and Lesbian lifestyles reveal about gender differences. I could write a dozen books…). AMERICAN and NON-AMERICAN. OLD and YOUNG, or one of my favorites…
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FAT and SKINNYIt’s interesting to see articles starting to appear on the Hollywood fad of actors losing and gaining weight apparently on cue. Robert Di Nero, Rene Zellwegger, Christian Bale…they just slide around the weight scale almost as if…as if…it’s relatively easy. And I think that’s what’s really causing the discomfort. The truth is that on a PHYSIOLOGICAL level, it IS relatively easy. Tie someone to a bed, feed them and don’t let them move, and despite the fastest metabolism, they will get fat. On the other hand, put someone in a concentration camp, deny them food, make them work eight hours a day, and despite the slowest metabolism, they will get skinnier. Period. It’s physics. Why, then, the difficulty losing weight for most people? Why the multi-billion dollar diet industry? Because our bodies are where we store PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN. Lose the weight, and you lose your armor. That, for many people, feels like death. I knew a guy who was already pretty skinny. At his job, a number of heavier people went on a diet program to lose twenty pounds, each of them putting in a hundred bucks to a “pot” to go to the winner. The skinny guy said, “hell, I can win that!” On the surface, you might have thought that it would be harder for him, because he didn’t have much to lose. Nope, it was easier, because he had no emotional attachments to the weight. He didn’t have circles of people around him who needed him to be fat. He was merely dealing with the physiology of it, not the night-sweats and nightmares, and fears and resentments and sexual damage. He won hands down. It wasn’t even close.
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What we don’t want to deal with here is that obesity (not just that extra 10 or 15 pounds, but when it gets up above, say 50 pounds of excess weight) is about emotion more often than physical disease. Everyone knows it, no one wants to admit it. So an obese person is almost exactly like an alcoholic carrying his bottle in plain sight. Then, of course, they complain that people judge them. Like we don’t’ judge alcoholics? We don’t judge people who can’t support themselves financially? We don’t judge people who have ANY dysfunction that we can determine easily?
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Does society treat the obese cruelly? Yep. And it should not. It treats them as sexless, lazy, over-indulgent slobs. None of which is true in my experience (well, maybe they get less sex than average. I guess that tends to be true). But that is no excuse for the jokes and cruelty. Not an excuse—but it is a reason…we project our own pain and fear and insecurities OUT of ourselves onto others who have the same problems, or represent what we fear in ourselves. The answer is not to suggest that fat people are not responsible for their condition, but also not to project guilt, blame, or shame upon them. Both are inappropriate, dishonest, and non-productive.Well, enough ranting for right now. But take a look at the dualities in your life: RICH-POOR, SHORT-TALL, CHRISTIAN-MUSLIM…where are you clear on what you really think? Where are you ashamed of what you really think, and would make public statements different from your private ones? There is no power, no joy, no truth in such behavior, and in the final analysis, you are robbing yourself of power. Because there are no fat people, no skinny people, no black or white or Jew or Christian or rich or poor or gay or straight or Right or Left. There is only you, friend. You create the world you see. And if it seems to be a confused world devoid of love or logic, that tells you more about yourself than it ever will of what is “out there.”

XXX: State of the Union (2005)

What can I say?  I was absolutely right.  Even more disgusting than I had feared.  Go back and look at my comments from earlier in the week, and grasp just how deep the rot goes.  The second worst moment in this Super-Hero secret agent nonsense starring Ice Cube and Samuel Jackson? When the new XXX gets out of prison and says that after nine years there's one thing a man wants...a hamburger.  And the worst moment?  When a beautiful blonde shucks him out of his clothes, tells him to take a shower, she'll be right back, and by the way...is there anything she can do for him?  "Anything?"   He asks.  She smiles suggestively.  "How about a hamburger and fries," he says, giving an answer that no heterosexual male, black or white, could possibly imagine himself saying, thereby rupturing all rapport.  God, it's scary.  If you want to count the cost of Melanine, look precisely at the drop in sex between the first and second movie.  Then go over to RottenTomatoes.com and see that some critics STILL complained that there was too much girley interaction.  What? Just how frightening are we?  Apparently, terrifyingly so.  The filmmakers should be ashamed.  On a comic book level, oh, I guess I'd give it a "C."  On the social level, once  you understand the racial/sexual dynamics involved, it deserves an "F-"  On the other hand, if you're a lover of mindless spectacle, this cartoon version of "Seven Days In May" is possibly the stupidest, least believable, loudest, most insulting movie ever made...give it an "A+."  And Sam Jackson made "Shaft," too.  I'm starting to get pissed off with him.

Thank you, guys

I love this blog.  I love being able to direct the discussions to questions  of balance in the personal, physical, professional, and political arenas.  I promise to always be open to questions of my own fairness and courtesy, because I expect that from others.
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I am venting here because I honestly believe that I see the path to greatness and mastery, as many others have seen it.  The only way I can be certain is to share as much of my thought and process as possible, and let smart, good, energetic people of many persuasions do their best to tear me a new one.  Unless I can explain and defend, my "mastery process" concept is a joke. 


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A student recently asked me to help her find a new spiritual goal, now that meditation was steady.  I told her to go more deeply into that meditation, and find her own answer.  This is what she just sent me.  superb.
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My room is the most important thing to my spirit.  The night I sent my
husband the e-mail letting him know where we stood I emptied out our
bedroom, threw the queen-sized mattress and box-springs on top of the
derelict station wagon in our garage.  I cleared the room out
completely.  When he got home I offered it to him because he'd been
bitching that he didn't have a place for his stuff.  I told him he
could take it, but if he did I wanted all of his crap out of the office
in a timely manner.  If he chose not to take it I would give him the
office and endeavor to get my crap out of the office instead.  He
didn't approve of the dismantling of our marriage bed.  He refused to
put a thing into that room he felt was a mistake and a tantrum, except
for to possibly help me put the bed back in there.  I refused.

Now I have my own room.  I put in a twin sized bed underneath the south
facing window and I watch the moon travel its course like I had through
the south facing window of my childhood bedroom.  I meditate in the
mornings to the ocean mimicry of wind through the evergreen that shades
me from the rising sun.  Now I have a space of my own.

As a child I endured a lot and early.  I think I've come out stronger
and healthier than most with that resumé.  I attribute my success to
having had a safe home.  Neither my mother nor my stepfather were
remotely abusive. I knew I could sleep safe in my bed and the adults
sleeping nearby would go above doing me no harm to defending me from
any threat.  Once I was out of the apartment it was another matter, but
my home was safe.  Everything I've healed I've healed because I had a
safe place to do so.  My husband took that away from me.

He decided when; every fight, every reconciliation, was on his terms.
He would follow me, badger me, bully me until I gave in to him.
Sometimes he'd seem fine and then snap over what seemed like nothing to
me.  He's never laid a hand on me, he's a wall puncher and a yeller,
and a master guilt-tripper but he's never touched me in violence.
Still I flinch from him because he gave me no safe place no ability to
predict if it was going to be a good day or a bad day.  So I have taken
my safe place.  I have my room and I will not give it up until he can
convince me that ours will be a marriage of partners respectful and
supportive to each other.  He can lecture me as long as he wants to
about promises of "for better or for worse" but he has not honored or
cherished me, he has chosen to give me worse when he could choose to
give me better.  No man is getting into my room again without earning
the privilege.  What my spirit needs from me is a safe place.  Because
that is where I heal.  I don't care if he thinks I've taken too much, I
don't care if the therapist we see this Sunday thinks I've taken too
much.  What all parties involved need to understand is that this
marriage is not being pulled out of a nosedive, we're going through the
wreckage to see what can be salvaged.  We are not bringing the
therapist into the cockpit we are bringing the black box to the
therapist.  My husband does not have me anymore, he merely has dibs.
For now I am my own, but if any man is going to claim me again, he gets
the first chance to earn me.

So it seems a feeble little goal but for now standing strong and
defending my right to a safe place of my own is my goal.  I will make
it a room that nurtures me.  Maybe someday my husband and I will be
able to build a mutual sanctuary together, but until I can trust him
without question he doesn't get my room.  More than anything I have
lost in this marriage I miss having a safe place.  I deserve that much
dammit!  So there it is.

Firewalls

Actually, I am glad that the gentleman took exception to my comments, and expressed that (and I am paraphrasing, sorry) it was not possible to "upgrade the psychological software" because the requisite data is behind a firewall in the other community.  Nicely put, but inaccurate.
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I will also answer a question here about the younger generation of Black Americans, and some differences, positive and negative, that I see.
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In almost any bookstore in America, as well as Amazon.com, you can find the software needed to "upgrade."  My mom introduced me to it as a child, and I have drawn on it extensively in these blogs: 
1) Spiritual texts from around the world.  Don't pay attention to their differences.  Pay attention to what they all say in common.
2) Great literature from around the world.  Usually dealing with men and women under extreme stress, and the attitudes and actions that help them survive and thrive.
3) Inspirational writing from around the world.  But especially texts written over the last century:  "the Power of Positive Thinking", "Think and Grow Rich", "Unlimited Power," "the Richest Man in Babylon", "The Greatest Salesman in the World", "Psycho-Cybernetics" and countless others.    Or if you think the problems of Black Americans are so unique, try "Think and Grow Rich--A Black Choice" by Dennis Kimbro (inferior to the original, but still good), or the excellent "Unlimited Power--A Black Choice" which flat-out rocks, and was written by a Black man I have met, and admire.
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Know something?  You don't even have to do that. If you got a hundred Black Americans who have risen from poverty and prejudice together in a room, what they'd have to say would please neither Left nor Right.  To the embarassment of Right-Wing talk show hosts, Condi Rice and Colin Powell, their poster children, agree that Blacks have suffered systematic, historical, unique and damaging disadvantages stemming directly from slavery and the 100 years of oppression that followed it.  this the right never mentions.  But they also believe in focus, hard work , sacrifice and holding oneself to high personal and moral values as a way OUT of that trap.  This is rarely focussed on by the Left.  Failure leaves clues.  Success leaves clues.  Those 100 successful black people would have a remarkable commonality of beliefs, values, and actions.  Those beliefs, values, and actions would be more or less congruent with the principles put forth in "Think And Grow Rich" almost a Century ago.  Ignore what they are saying at your own peril.
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I think that the average white person, born into a black skin, would do about 10% worse financially and emotionally than they do currently.  I think that the average white person resentful of Affirmative Action would be a ball of neurosis and poisonous resentment of white privilege if they were slipped into a black skin.  And I think that the average borderline bigot, you know, the kind who says "black guy" when he means "nigger"?  Would, if he'd been born black, want to kill every white man in sight.
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I don't believe in Reparations.  Not because I don't think Black Americans "deserve" them in some abstract sense. Hell, if I could push a button I'd gladly reverse the relative positions of Black and White in America and in World History.  It would be SO amusing to watch white folks, whose barely controlled contempt for Melanine I've dealt with for so many decades, suddenly become aware of the vast ocean of privilege they once enjoyed that has drained away.  God, that would be fun. In a heartbeat, they would suddenly understand.  No, I'm against Reparations because I see no way to implement it that wouldn't make the situation even worse, create more resentment (and that is an important factor when you're outnumbered 10 to 1), and sell a legacy of 450 years of real agony for a few dollars.  No.  I play to win, people--not for the appearance of winning.  I don't give a shit about symbols.  I care about the future of this country, and this planet, and every boy and girl now growing up.  Black and white and yellow and brown.  I want a world that will work for all of them, or it won't work for any.
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I don't know a single person who doesn't have a perfectly good excuse to fail.  Let's list some of them:  too old, too young, too black, too poor, too gay, too fat, too skinny, too female, too short, too uneducated, too dysfunctional, too handicapped, too Jewish, too Christian, too pagan...are you on the list somewhere?  Of course, the more of these you cluster in one person, the more problems they're likely to have.  Which is more painful: being black or being a woman?  Easy to answer: ask a black woman. If you haven't asked a dozen black women which they find to be a greater problem, I'm not going to tell you the answer.  I've done it.  Go out and do it yourself, OR YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMMENT.  How about Gay or Black?  Do the same experiement.  And on down the line.  Otherwise, you're one of those philosophers who think they don't need to count the teeth in a horse's mouth in order to know how many teeth a horse has.  Pitiful.
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I am into the basic truths, the things that go beyond race, and gender, and poverty, and abuse, and obesity and all the rest.  Strip all of that away and what is left is HUMAN.  Strip that away and you have the soul, the spirit itself, manefesting in myriad forms of life.  Strip that away and you have existence.  Strip away existence and non-existence, and you have the Tao. 
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I would never say that this or that group hasn't had disadvantages.  I have laid my own pain out here on this blog as clearly as I can, and will continue to, because vomiting up our past poisons can be a way of getting to the real tissue of our emotional "guts."  It is not that I do not have empathy.  but in life, you either have reasons, or you have results.  You can't always have both.  In fact, the less you look at the reasons, the more time you have to seek and create results.  It's not fair.  But it's not unfair, either.  It just is.

Steve

Software

Here, precisely, is the comment the following reader took exception to:

"And too damned many black Americans are running crappy software.  Then again, they didn't write it, did they?  Then again, that's irrelevant: it is their responsibility to upgrade."
That's the comment.  Let's take a look at the comment it elicited, and I'll give my reactions.  Before I do, I'd like to thank the gentleman for expressing himself.  Here we go...
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He says:  "How can a device with faulty software upgrade itself??? Particularly when the current software package was coded to limit upgrade opportunities, the network in which the device is located is set off in a workgroup with a firewall...."
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Because we're not just machines, and we're not just our skin color, even if bigots in the majority culture would like to define us as such.  We can change, and the only way we can change is by taking responsibility.  The exact same argument could be made if we were  sexually abused by parents, or physically beaten and jailed by oppressors.  The responsiblity is still with the spirit of the individual to find a way.  Countless others have risen from any given level of oppression.  I do not deny the oppression is there.  I just know that, from time immemorial, the individuals who have escaped, risen above and conquered are those who said "enough!  I'm taking responsibility for my life."  That may seem cold and cruel, but it is a reality across race, gender, or political lines.  I REALLY believe in helping my fellow man, but the best advice I can ever give, or I ever got, is to face life as if no one will help me at all.  Mysteriously, when you do this, help comes to you.  This principle has nothing to do with American racial politics.  It is far older than any European culture.  It is, I believe, simply a truth of our existence.

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he said:  "The software packages throughout American culture are faulty."  Yeah, but I think that, far more often than whites,  Black Americans are programmed to play a game they cannot win.  Unfair as it may be, they have to dig deeper.  I don't like it, I never have, but that's just the way it is.  It used to be phrased as "you have to work twice as hard to get half as far."  I'd say that at this point in history it's "Work twice as hard to get as far."  Talking to my father and my grandfather about their experiences, that seems about right.
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He said:  "I work with (Black, White, Asian) folks who make good money, have families and have 'bad' software." 
Yeah, but Whites and Asians have vastly more role models of success available in every medium (Asians have Asian television, even if underrepresented on American television), and role modeling is incredibly important to learning on all levels.  "Bad" software for them is not as catastrophic.  They have their names, language, culture, religions--going back a thousand generations.  In general, Black Americans have about six generations of history before they are mired in a swamp called slavery.   I am astounded with how much we have accomplished, given that handicap.
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he said:  "Steve, I take exception to the whole 'Ghetto Black Culture' paintbrush you are using..."
Gee, did he read what I said?  "too damned many black Americans are running crappy software."  Did I say "whole Ghetto Black Culture"?  No, I didn't, nor is that what I meant.  Please criticize me for what I say, not an exaggeration thereof.
He said:  "there people struggling within these communities to raise children and build a better standard of living with little access to the resources
that many Americans enjoy. It is EXPENSIVE TO BE POOR. One must work longer hours just to maintain,"
Yep, and the way out of that poverty is to take responsibility for GETTING your family out.  This is, obviously, above and beyond the call of duty for most people, black, white, or Asian.  I never said it was easy.  I never said it was fair.  Life isn't fair and easy.  It is what it is, and either we find the strength to rise above, or we will drown.  The average white person, born black, would perform like the average black person.  It has ( in my mind) nothing to do with genetics.  I speak to the power of individuals.  Born with a slow metabolism?  You can either bitch and moan and talk about how "unfair" it is (and many do) or you can make your peace with the fact that you will always have to work harder than a "naturally skinny" person if you want to  have the advantages of fitting the cultural model.  All adults get to make those choices.  When I saw the pretty girls going after the athletic, powerful guys, I could have pitched a bitch and said "its not fair!"  Instead, I chose to spend the next twenty years healing myself, creating a career and a body I could be proud of, and actually having a woman that was everything I wanted--body, mind, and emotions--because a woman like that needs a man who pushes himself as hard as she pushes HERself.  Nothing less will make the grade.  Say this five times;  LIFE ISN'T FAIR.  I've known hundreds of people born in bitter poverty, many under oppression far greater than exists in 21st Century America.  Those who created lives of grace and power and fullfillment took responsibility for getting the hell out.  Every one of them.  Not one of them waited for someone to rescue them.  And many, many, many of them--myself included, do as much lecturing, contribution, mentoring, and teaching as we can.

He said:  "and despite what you and your cheerleaders think, most folks in the 'Ghetto' are maintaining...legally and without the garbage you see marketed on TV."  Hah!  You obviously have absolutely no idea what I do or don't think about Black Americans.  Where I grew up, what I went through.  Again, none of my statements, or to my knowledge statements of people on this blog, could be taken to imply that "most folks in the `Ghetto'" make an extra-legal living, or are not maintaining, or that I get most of my information from television.  You do not read well, sir.  Oh, and thanks for the chuckle about my "cheerleaders."  I invite criticism from any and all, and demand courtesy toward all who visit my blog.  I will ask you please to attack or comment on what is actually said, and not your best guess as to my intent or political position.  Just ask a question, and I'll be happy to ask it, as long as the question is courteous.

Steve

Sixth Chakra--Intellect

I might as well have called this one: negotiating the reality map.  The usefulness of a map, however accurate, lies in two presuppositions:
1) that you know where you are going.
2) that you know where you are.
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The second is, of course, incredibly more important (since you can look at a map to DECIDE where you want to go.)  Not knowing where you are in the process of your life, not understanding your true resources and limitations, being unable to judge your actions and reactions or evaluate the worth of your allies...all of these things will inhibit your ability to leverage your intelligence and skills to accomplish your goals.  But how do you do this?  How do you prevent yourself from becoming one of the vast legion of smart, educated people who are downright miserable and unfulfilled?
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Remember: any creature, from a worm to a college professor, will attempt to move away from pain and toward pleasure.  Whereever you are in your life right now, your subconscious mind has done its level best to minimize the pain.  In other words, it literally couldn't see greater pleasure for you out there.  If you are stuck, then all it sees is different painful options.
The truth is that there are ALWAYS more options than we see.  Always.  We are limited by our blinders, preconceptions, cultural filters, fears, beliefs, and emotional damage.  Oftimes, the cost of clarity is admitting that we are in pain.  As savage as that can be, at least it allows us to set out in the direction of goals.  If those goals seem impossibly far away, we can lose steam.  This is why our daily activities must have joy and fulfillment as an integral part of the process.  If the rewards seem impossibly far away, the "short term pleasure" part of our personality will kick in, and we'll jump back into a box of Screaming Yellow Zonkers.
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BALANCED GOALS.  I keep saying this, because there is no other way I know to zero in on where you actually are.  Once you have done this, the intellect can begin to calibrate. If you are in denial, directing your attention to some arena in which you have mastery and ignoring the vast areas in which you suck, you can run your engines at full blast, and get nowhere.

MEDITATION.  Going inward until you find a place of peace, a place that is its own reward.  I would suggest making contact with your younger self, because this metaphor will allow you to converse with the part of you that remembers what makes you happy.  This connection can sustain and inform you through and beyond any external circumstance.
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Study the Hero's Journey.  In each major arena, where are you on the journey?  Still accepting the challenge?  On the Road of Trials?  if you are slogging, look at hte quality of your allies, and your resources.  Do you need to improve either?  Are you in the Dark Night of the Soul?  In that case, what types of Faith do you need to increase?  If you have had a victory in one or another arena, have you given away your knowledge to the world, to make room for new discoveries?
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We'll play with Intellect for a while, because it is vital to understand the proper use of the mind.  CAVEAT--I come as close as I can to speaking the truth, as I see it, in this blog.  Of course, I'm going to be limited by my humanity, and my personal "edges".  I engage in these discussions as much to encourage you to clarify your thinking as to convince you that I am "right."  ENGAGE.  Think.  Look at your life and see how you have succeeded and failed in these three vital arenas.  Share your thoughts.  Let's grow together.

Hans Selye--the father of Stess?

The following is quoted, with minor additions:
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Although Selye was fluent in at least eight languages, including English, and could converse in another half dozen, his choice of "stress" to describe the non-specific response syndrome he discovered, was unfortunate.  He had used "stress" in his initial letter to the Editor of Nature in 1936, who suggested that it be deleted since this implied nervous strain and substituted alarm reaction.  He was also unaware that stress had been used for centuries in physics to explain elasticity, the property of a material that allows it to resume its original size and shape after having been compressed or stretched by an external force.  As expressed in Hooke's Law of 1658, the magnitude of an external force, or stress, produces a proportional amount of deformation, or strain, in a malleable metal.  Selye several time complained to me that had his knowledge of English been more precise, he would gave gone down in history as the father of the "strain" concept.
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The ability to handle stress is directly related to your capacity to achieve peak performance.  Stress is not to be avoided: STRAIN is.  biofeedback, meditation, massage, therapy and many other techniques are used in this effort, and I support them all.   The approach I personally use and reccomend is;

1) Learn the "Be Breathed" technique.
2) Use it in the "Five Minute Miracle" format, so that your body becomes a walking biofeedback machine.
3) Create balanced goals in the arenas of body, mind, and spirit, taking full responsibility for the results in each.  Not guilt, blame, or shame--responsibility.  In other words, the ability to respond.  Move toward these goals at a rate of 1% per week.
4) Meditate and/or keep a dream diary.
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that's it.  Simple, incredibly powerful.  There are infinite resources available to help you toward your goals--simply cluster them in a balanced matrix, and pay attention to the messages your body, environment and subconscious send you as you do.  YOU are the teacher.  YOU are the guru.  YOU are the therapist.  You need only pay attention.
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Do yourself a favor.  Order the FIVE MINUTE MIRACLE today.  Find a buddy, and practise together.  It is the cheapest education in the actual structure of your universe that you will ever find.  It's worked for thousands of people.  It will work for you.

Steve

Weakness on the Left

I recently did a Google search.  The intent was to take a look at the top ten Conservative books, and the top ten Liberal books, and see if there were substantive differences in the ways they sorted information.  I promised myself that even if I came up with something I didn't like, I would report it honestly.  What I found was a little scary.
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When I Googled "Top 10 Conservative Books" I drew up a number of web sites, mostly reasonable and intelligent, with lists of books with non-hysterical titles setting forth Conservative ideas and action plans.  Very nice.  I was pleasantly surprised.  When I did the exact same thing "Top 10 Liberal Books" I found...nothing.  Maybe way down fifty entries or so there was something, but there were just no web sites setting forth a list of the books (I know they exist--I've read some, and seen many in bookstores, and on bestseller lists) representing the Liberal position.  What the hell?  Could Conservatives be THAT much better organized?  Yes, I think they are.  And that is a major reason for victory of in the last election.  In time of war or major stress, people want ANSWERS, not QUESTIONS.    And the Right was far better organized in this regard.  "This is our position.  This is what we will do."  It was clear, and black and white.  Like it or not, agree with it or not, right or wrong or whatever, the position was clearly stated. And that is what people under stress want--leadership, not more choices.  If you don't understand this about human nature, you will lose.  And as the Left thrashes to find itself, they had better understand this, and get it together.
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As I've often said, I think the health of America depends on a movement BETWEEN left and right.  There are dragons hissing and coiling on both sides of the aisle: on the Left, a false egalitarianism.  On the Right, a false hierarchicalism.  Take either to their extreme, and they shake hands and rip our freedoms away.  Be very very careful, America--the balance is in a diseased state.

Black and White Rednecks

A reader sent me the following links:

http://sisu.typepad.com/sisu/2005/04/quotthe_redneck.html

http://sisu.typepad.com/sisu/2005/04/how_the_scotsir.html

They deal with a theory by Black Conservative commentator Thomas Sewell on the origins of some rather dysfunctional elements of black culture.  I don't have the specific knowledge to support or refute his theories, but thought some of you might well find them interesting. 
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In general, however, I say a resounding: "black ghetto culture contains some horrifically dysfunctional aspects."  There.  I said it.  This doesn't mean that they were not, and are not subjected to damage.  If you examined a forty-five year old adult who was sorely abused for the first thirty years of his life, you would expect to find dysfunctional behaviors, negative believes, crushingly distorted self-image.  Well, American blacks were enslaved for three hundred years, and free for about 150--the same rough proportion.  If there were not DEEP problems, we would be super-people.  And we're not.  We're just people.  My belief is that the primary difference between groups is their software, not their hardware.  And too damned many black Americans are running crappy software.  Then again, they didn't write it, did they?  Then again, that's irrelevant: it is their responsibility to upgrade.
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Another comment.  On one of the blogs, there is a typical comment about "politically correct" language.  I am so disgusted by the hijacking of that term, the implication that language, and news, and culture are only "politically correctly" slanted to the left.  This is just an absolute lie.  I have seen countless movies where anything non-white or non-American was presented as sub-standard.  this is what the audience at the time wanted to see, and that was a clear slanting to some of the more hierarchical elements on the right.  Movies where the domination of the environment was presented as good and right, where Biblical story-telling was presented as historical fact, where the founding fathers were presented as flawless paragons, etc. etc. etc.
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But the ONLY time you hear the term "Politically Correct" is in a criticism of the Left.  For God's sake, people.  Both sides have their flaws.  Domination by EITHER side would be disasterous.  Wake the hell up, or we're in trouble.