Sixth Chakra--resolving dualities

Remember, this is a core tenant of Lifewriting and what we’re calling The Mastery Technique: to see the balance point in all things (especially life) to have goals in all three arenas, to plunge into the maelstrom of life with the tools to prevent stress from becoming strain, and to process the emotional crap that arises from such a purifying process.If there is a pattern to some of my ranting on this blog, you are just seeing MY damage coming up. This is one of the places I’m venting. However, I try to see it all, once again, in balance. Some comments on how this all works out.RACE. Well, that’s a black and white issue (for me.) Anyone who looks at my picture knows that I am quite mixed: Black, White, and Native American. Because of the “One Drop” rule, of course, White America considered those who look like me to be black—so that they could be sold. Black America took this and tried to turn it into something to be proud of (“one drop makes you whole.”) Neither approach has the slightest amount of anthropological sense. It is purely social. I look at racial designations that way too—they don’t really shake out anthropologically or genetically, but they sure do socially. Looked at Socially, then, it is possible (but not inevitable) to say that there are three “real” racial groups: Caucasian, Negro, Asian. Black, White, Yellow. Call them the “primary colors” of the human race, from which all other groups can be formed. (Again, I’m speaking in terms of social reaction, not some biological distinction). Latinos, then, are not a separate group. Some are Black, some Yellow, some White, and most are a mixture. But socially, Latinos are mostly reacted to as if they are “exotic white people.” Why do I say this? The standard is this: how does America react to seeing a white woman being sexual or married to one? If there is some slight irritation, but mostly acceptance, then on a deep psychological level, they are “white.” For instance, Lucille Ball, America’s Sweetheart in the 50’s, and Desi Arnez. Ricardo Mantelban or Fernando Lamas as heartthrobs. No problem at all. What you won’t see is a bonified Asian or Black actor “crossing that line.” Dark-Skinned natives of India are also kinda “exotic white people” in the main. They also don’t seem to trip that negative reaction TO THE SAME DEGREE. And neither do Arabs. Danny Thomas (Lebanese), Omar Shariff, etc. etc. Exotic, yes, but “across the line” fully to being “Other”, no.
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This of course relates to the recent ranting about black men not being allowed to be sexual in films. A recent review of “House of Wax” in the L.A. Times makes much of the fact that Paris Hilton’s boyfriend in the film is black. And that nothing is made of it. NONSENSE. I don’t need to see the film to know that the “comment” is in the subtext. Both Paris Hilton and her boyfriend are doomed. They will both die horrible deaths—they crossed the color line. Again, this is 100% predictable without even seeing the film. If anyone out there has seen it and can tell me I’m wrong, please do so. Some will protest that it can’t be that cut and dried. Sorry. Yes, it is. I’ve been predicting this stuff for thirty years, and almost never been wrong. ##But this has less to do with black and white than it has with the natural tendency of human beings to assume “their” side is right and the “other” side is wrong. This leads to the next division:
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RIGHT versus LEFT. What fun this is to watch, especially on the touchy issue of race. The right tries to pretend that there are no substantive differences in the basic life situations that, say, blacks and whites find themselves. Then, they try to pretend that, given that premise, they aren’t saying that blacks are inferior. Wow! You can’t have it both ways, guys. The statistics clearly show blacks with higher incarceration rates, lower I.Q. scores, lower life expectancies, lower incomes, higher illegitimacy rates, you name it. You know, some of this stuff can be explained as invalid measurement systems, but some is pretty glaring. And when you look at it from a heads-or-tails perspective (which is, quite admittedly, too simplistic, but sometimes you need to be to cut to the chase), either the CONTEXT of the situation where black Americans find themselves is radically different, or the CONTENT of their genetics and/or character is radically different. Why mince words, guys? Stand up and be honest about what you’re saying! To me, the problem on the Right (in this regard) is that they can’t admit there are serious and pervasive difference. And the problem on the Left (in this regard—there are certainly others) is that there are deep and serious dysfunctional elements in black culture (hell, James Earl Jones probably put it better than I would dare to: “there is no Black culture.” No, not in the sense that Anthropologists speak of culture. That requires hundreds or thousands of years of relative isolation. That indicates separate languages, religions, cultural stories, philosophies, etc. etc.) There are hundreds of valid, deep, wise African cultures. But in the continental United States, the vast majority of black Americans are descended from those who specifically had culture, language, religion, names, and history stripped away from them, leaving them to be “programmed” with slave software. The problem is that they can’t go back to African culture, and they can’t just adapt the software of the majority culture—which holds that they are absolutely second-class human beings. The solution in my mind is to commit to going down into the “machine language” of humanity, to go deeper than culture, deeper than appearances, deeper than most groups of people ever have to go, and connect with the truth of this aspect of our existence—and then spread that knowledge. But to do it demands going beyond race, or left and right, to forgive, to find absolute self-love, and then embrace the totality of humanity. Nothing less will work. But you have to be able to look unblinkingly at the problems of being human AS THEY MANEFEST in left and right, white and black, male and female, etc. Nothing less will do.
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MALE and FEMALE. Men and women both have elements of “male” and “female” energy. Trying to designate these is a cause of much division and disagreement. I won’t get into that here. But both sides try to claim the majority of the “good stuff” for their side. Talk to a feminist about women being more nurturing, more intuitive, more peaceful and wise, and chances are you can lull her into agreeing with you. Ask her to list the balancing advantages of male energy, and you are likely to come up blank: anything men can do, women can do better. Talk to a typical piggy male and he will easily be lured into discussions about why 95% of the great art, science, political movements, etc. have been created by men—and they will (regretfully perhaps) have to do with, ahem, innate superiorities in men that it is not politically correct to discuss publicly. Both side do this crap. I remember in writing class I have a nasty habit of getting discussions of “male” and “female” energy going as follows (and please remember that this was designed to be deliberately provoking, not to reveal some deep, eternal, immutable truths). I would say: “If there was nothing but male energy in the world, the world would be a burned-out shell, strip-mined and hunted to extinction.” And the women in the class would cheer “right on.” Then I would continue: “and if there was nothing but female energy in the world, the entire population would consist of a few scattered bands of people living in grass huts in temperate zones, getting wiped out by the first predators that came along.” Needless to say, this always evoked yelps of protest. What? The second comment was less honest than the first? Really?
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The truth is going to be found BETWEEN the extremes. Be very, very careful of people who believe that it is heads or tails. No, it’s a nickel. It only looks like “heads” or “tails” to an ant crawling across the surface.
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What other issues can be peered into more deeply? Try: GAY and STRAIGHT (wow. The lies and hysteria around this issue, ranging from AIDS to gay marriage to what the differences between gay male and Lesbian lifestyles reveal about gender differences. I could write a dozen books…). AMERICAN and NON-AMERICAN. OLD and YOUNG, or one of my favorites…
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FAT and SKINNYIt’s interesting to see articles starting to appear on the Hollywood fad of actors losing and gaining weight apparently on cue. Robert Di Nero, Rene Zellwegger, Christian Bale…they just slide around the weight scale almost as if…as if…it’s relatively easy. And I think that’s what’s really causing the discomfort. The truth is that on a PHYSIOLOGICAL level, it IS relatively easy. Tie someone to a bed, feed them and don’t let them move, and despite the fastest metabolism, they will get fat. On the other hand, put someone in a concentration camp, deny them food, make them work eight hours a day, and despite the slowest metabolism, they will get skinnier. Period. It’s physics. Why, then, the difficulty losing weight for most people? Why the multi-billion dollar diet industry? Because our bodies are where we store PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN. Lose the weight, and you lose your armor. That, for many people, feels like death. I knew a guy who was already pretty skinny. At his job, a number of heavier people went on a diet program to lose twenty pounds, each of them putting in a hundred bucks to a “pot” to go to the winner. The skinny guy said, “hell, I can win that!” On the surface, you might have thought that it would be harder for him, because he didn’t have much to lose. Nope, it was easier, because he had no emotional attachments to the weight. He didn’t have circles of people around him who needed him to be fat. He was merely dealing with the physiology of it, not the night-sweats and nightmares, and fears and resentments and sexual damage. He won hands down. It wasn’t even close.
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What we don’t want to deal with here is that obesity (not just that extra 10 or 15 pounds, but when it gets up above, say 50 pounds of excess weight) is about emotion more often than physical disease. Everyone knows it, no one wants to admit it. So an obese person is almost exactly like an alcoholic carrying his bottle in plain sight. Then, of course, they complain that people judge them. Like we don’t’ judge alcoholics? We don’t judge people who can’t support themselves financially? We don’t judge people who have ANY dysfunction that we can determine easily?
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Does society treat the obese cruelly? Yep. And it should not. It treats them as sexless, lazy, over-indulgent slobs. None of which is true in my experience (well, maybe they get less sex than average. I guess that tends to be true). But that is no excuse for the jokes and cruelty. Not an excuse—but it is a reason…we project our own pain and fear and insecurities OUT of ourselves onto others who have the same problems, or represent what we fear in ourselves. The answer is not to suggest that fat people are not responsible for their condition, but also not to project guilt, blame, or shame upon them. Both are inappropriate, dishonest, and non-productive.Well, enough ranting for right now. But take a look at the dualities in your life: RICH-POOR, SHORT-TALL, CHRISTIAN-MUSLIM…where are you clear on what you really think? Where are you ashamed of what you really think, and would make public statements different from your private ones? There is no power, no joy, no truth in such behavior, and in the final analysis, you are robbing yourself of power. Because there are no fat people, no skinny people, no black or white or Jew or Christian or rich or poor or gay or straight or Right or Left. There is only you, friend. You create the world you see. And if it seems to be a confused world devoid of love or logic, that tells you more about yourself than it ever will of what is “out there.”