The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter


Tuesday, May 24, 2005

You Can't change Who You Are

Just spent a couple of days out of town, during which time I had the chance to visit with an old friend.  We spoke on a variety of topics, but one that came up had to do with an opinion, held by his wife, that we can't change our essential natures.  He expected me to disagree--after all, I seem to actively promote the concept that we can change.  Somewhat to his surprise, though, I agreed.  We can't change our essential natures.  There's a trick, though...
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That trick is that we don't know who we really are.  We can only see our "presenting natures", our manefesting behaviors, our apparent personalities.  All of that stuff is ephemeral, all of it can change.  The true nature, the essential self that cannott change is not available to the ordinary mind.   It is very similar to saying that matter and energy can't be created or destroyed, only changed in form.  What we ordinarily do is identify with our outer shells, our circumstances, our actions.  Then we say that these things are "us" and that they cannot change.  How wrong, how tragically wrong we are.  However difficult it can sometimes be to make shifts, those shifts can be made, and must be made, if we are to live our true lives.
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What stops us from changing?  Fear.  That is the simplest answer. Fear.  We are afraid to die, to change, to lose. And by identifying with the very behaviors and circumstances that keep us in chains, we sacrifice the potential of an infinite, joyous life for the false safety of a limiting ego prison.  "this is me" we say.  No, it isn't .  It is merely all that you have allowed yourself to know of you.
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The road out is a daily practise that takes us closer to our true selves.  The twin arms of meditation (inner) and I.D.E.A. (outer.  The practise of setting balanced, measurable goals in a balance of body, career, and relationship) will begin to reveal our true selves.  This will trigger massive stress as we approach a true change point, a jump across quantum personality levels.  The stress coping mechanisms must be in place BEFORE we get to these spots.  The Five Minute Miracle is such a stress coping mechanism.  There are others, but in all honesty, the specific breathing exercise revealed within is the best I've found in forty years of searching.  Better, once  you've learned it, you can combine it with running, weight training, kettlebells, or clubbells or body-weight calisthenics.  By doing so, you increase your stress-coping ability MASSIVELY.  Stay on the balanced path, continue to meditate (dredging up you old "crap" that keeps  you from seeing yourself clearly!) and you will change.  Massively.
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Do yourself a huge favor.  Set balanced goals.  Take responsibility for your results.  Meditate or keep a dream diary.  And get the Five Minute Miracle.  And once you've got it, for goodness sake use it.  It will do you no good sitting on the shelf.

Your future is in your hands.

steve

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