The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

What It Takes To Get Everything

Almost fifty years ago, a bully (backed up by his brother and two friends) were beating the hell out of me on Washington Boulevard near Crenshaw in Los Angeles, and I hit threshold, realized that I simply couldn't allow myself to be shamed and humiliated in such a way. I was being destroyed psychologically, one piece at a time. And knew I would rather die than continue being crushed in this way. And I walked out into the middle of the street, standing on the double yellow lines with trucks whizzing past me on both sides, looked at my tormentor and said "come out here and do that."

He looked at me, and I looked at him, and I thought to myself that if he came out, I was going to push him in front of a car. I was going to try my level best to kill him. He saw his death in my eyes.

And in case you didn't know, one of the real, basic secrets of the martial arts is the attitude: "I'm ready to die, and I'm ready to take you with me." You simply can't get stronger, more feral, more dangerous than such an attitude. This is one of the reasons that most martial arts systems have rule and laws about when the art is to be used: under what circumstances, what provocations, what people. This isn't just about being "a good person." It is about unleashing the most basic core of your survival energy. The person willing to die is a martyr. The person ready to die killing his enemy is a warrior.

This emotional "burning of the bridges" removes all the b.s. All the illusions. All the excuses. It is the most powerful position you can come from, and should only be accessed when defending your sacred honor, or the lives of loved ones.

Or...your dreams. The "Ancient Child" asks you to get in touch with your heart, and the love within you. Then to create an internal representation of the different levels in your life ("chakras") in which our unconscious mind can provide visual representations of your clarity and health (represented by light) on each of these levels. Then to create a representation of your "inner child"--the child you were before striving in the external world wore down your uniqueness. You take the love you've found in your Heartbeat Meditation, and pour it into this child symbol. You vow to protect that precious essence at ALL costs. There is NOTHING worth betraying this essential self. Nothing. Everything you do has to be in alignment with your dreams and core values, in one way or another. It is up to you as an adult to figure out how to do this--either adjust your attitude toward what you are doing, or you change what you do. But one way or another, if you want to live with the greatest passion, the greatest pleasure, the greatest success, every step you take in life needs to acknowledge who and what you are at the deepest level. Everything you do has to be a way of answering the two most important questions in life: "who am I?" and "what is true?"

Fifty years ago, the answer was: "someone willing to die before I will be broken." At that moment I found the bed-rock of my life. When I wanted to become a writer, I knew I had to want it so badly I was willing to die trying. When I wanted to create a healthy, thriving, passionate relationship I knew I had to be willing to sacrifice all my illusions about myself in favor of a glorious but sometimes frightening reality. Parenthood? If you aren't willing to do everything, EVERYTHING essential for your child, don't have them.

 I get two hundred and fifty bucks an hour for coaching, but I really don't want your money--I'd rather give you the technology for free or as close to free as I can afford without stealing from my family. I searched the world for answers, was willing to travel a thousand miles to spend ten minutes with someone who could give me a straight answer about how to deal with fear, doubt, lack of clarity or motivation, dishonesty, or any aspect of performance. And...found answers.

And my best, simplest way of conveying what I found is the Ancient Child technique. Master that, and you can bring your dreams into reality.

All it takes to get everything you everything you've got.


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