The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Monday, March 28, 2005

More on Heart Wounds

Fourth Chakra wounds damage the health, cripple the sexuality, create obesity and anorexia, limit communication, and confuse the intellect. The expression "you can awaken the kundalini from the heart out or from the bottom up, but never from the top down" was making direct reference to the primacy of the heart. In Lifewriting, we use two major tools for connecting with the heartspace: Heartbeat meditation, and the Dream Diary. There are other meditations, and therapies, but in many ways the very best medicine for the ailing heart is a healthy romantic/sexual relationship. For many people, the quest for love is a long, lonely road. I wanted to provide a few perspectives, and then in a day or two we'll re-visit what I call the Soulmate technique, an approach to finding and keeping the love you want.
In this first installment, I'd like you to consider an homilie: "In life, you don't get what you want. You get who you are." If you find that you aren't attracting people who you are attracted to, you may well have an unrealistic self image. Your lovers are mirrors for you, friend. You ARE your husband or wife or significant other, albeit flipped for gender and mirror-imaged. Searching to understand the ways that you and your partner are two halves of the same creature is one of the most fruitful things you can do--as well as one of the most educational. It can free you from anger and resentment. Folks, if you could have done better than your partner, you would have. If you misjudged them, whose fault is that? If you didn't have the awareness, the self-confidence, the clarity, whose fault is that? Every human being does the best they can with the resources they have. You traded your intelligence, your sensuality, your beauty, and your power and energy and mental health for the greatest good you could find in the arena of relationship. When you stop blaming and start grasping that we are all both victims and benificiaries of the human condition, you are on the road to healing.
And what if you aren't currently in a relationship? Well, I've actually got good news...if you're willing to risk your ego a bit. And we'll talk about that tomorrow.



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