Jason the wonder-kid...

We just bought Jason a new bed. It looks like a blue sports car, and has no rails—he can get up out of bed now, and that creates new risks, and new opportunities. I punish him (a little) for sneaking around at night, but this morning he did something pretty wild. God, I love that kid.

At night, he sleeps in a diaper, even though during the day we have him in underwear. Well, he woke up wet, got out of bed…and changed himself. Took off his diaper, put on a new one, and threw the old one away! Kid cracks me up.
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I finished my first 4X7 cycle using a Density technique for Bruiser Gama Casts. Got up to 10 reps per set, from an initial volume of 5 reps per set. Did yoga Saturday, and felt serious toxins wringing out of the old body. THEN I realized that I was at the end of the 4X7, and that it was appropriate to feel a bit trashed…especially since I felt strong as hell in my last workout. Now, four days of recover, and begin my next cycle on Thursday. It will be interesting to see how far I progress this time. I’m really going to take it slowly, though…
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A dear friend who was sexually active at 13 with grown men has chimed in on the issue of my old training buddy, whom we’ll call “Wally” right now. Her judgment is that I should wipe the slate clean—not hold his past against him, but also consider that my “friendship” bank has been emptied. She spoke with great clarity about her position. And I trust her judgment: she knows how hard it is to climb out the emotional hole she dug for herself. One of the men who abused her was another old friend of mine, and when I found out, it permanently damaged my ability to look him in the face. Wow. When I look at some of the wounds around me, it really makes me wonder about myself. Clearly, my associations mirror my own core. I can’t point the finger. But I can continue to clarify and refine my relationships…and continue to heal my own rips.
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I’m thinking about getting a “Life Coaching” credential. Sounds like an interesting framework to make some money doing what I ordinarily do for free. Does anyone out there have experience with the iPEC coaching organization? Or any of the others? I would LOVE to speak to someone who has dealt with these folks. Right now, they look like the best of the bunch, but if anyone has contrary data, I’d appreciate hearing it.

Free Copy of FlowFit for every American

Good Lord. I haven't talked to Scott about this, but apparently RMAX has decided to give away FREE copies of their FlowFit program. Basically, it has all the benifits of the Five Tibetans, plus most of the benifits of a decent yoga program, PLUS it has the ability to take almost anyone across the aerobic threshold, meaning you can use it for Fear Removal. I taught this to a 300 pound guy with diabetes and half a foot. And you can also tax an athlete. Add FlowFit 2, and you have a program to take anyone from completely un-fit to fine condition, in about an hour a week.


http://www.rmaxinternational.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15796

DO THIS BEFORE HE COMES TO HIS SENSES. It's nuts. But it seems to be true. FlowFit is a wonderful exercise protocol, and they're putting their money where their mouths are about making Americans healthier. Just do it!

HPP and a long-distance call

For the first time in fifteen years, I listened to my very favorite hypnotic tapes (well, MP3 actually) this morning. It’s one in a series by Dr. Lloyd Glauberman, using a sophisticated technique called “Hypno-peripheral processing), an exceptionally clever and complex way to create a subliminal program. What Glauberman does is create two “therapeutic metaphors” (stories containing embedded suggestions that will resonate with the subconscious of the listener) and play one in each ear, simultaneously. There are specific phrases in one story that actually “cross over” to emphasize or reinforce what’s being said in the other ear. Because you can’t consciously listen to both simultaneously, you drop into a deep and receptive trance quite nicely, thank you. The HPP program is called “The Pursuit of Excellence” and it’s worth seeking out. To my knowledge, only three people have ever made tapes using this process: Glauberman, a bodybuilding guru named Frank Zane (with Steve Reeves, the most beautiful athletes in the history of the sport. Astounding symmetry! Then again, he was a math teacher) and…me.

Yep. Years back, when I was conducting the Lifewriting workshops, I created a version of an HPP tape using my then-wife Toni (she has a great voice!) as the narrator of the second story. I created two scripts, printed them in parallel columns so that I could time them approximately, and adjusted the “embedded commands” so that they crossed over from one story to another. Then we practiced for a day or so, getting the timing right, and recorded a dummy version on my TEAC Tascam Mini-Mixer. Once we had that, we just went into a professional studio, put on headphones and listened to the reference track, and repeated what we heard, concentrating on vocal modulations. Sent a copy of it to Glauberman, and he told me I should hear from his lawyers…no, not really. He thought it was really good work, and that I should produce them for sale. I never did…
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We had our meeting with the movie company yesterday (teleconference from Toronto) and it went great. We’re now in rewrite, to deliver in 6 weeks. Yowsa! And I told Tananarive that if my back is to the wall, she can be certain that I won’t screw the deal up with my racial politics. We’re playing for position, and I have to keep my eyes on the ultimate prize. The safety and security of my family is more important than ANYTHING. Writing comes second. Martial arts third. That’s the order of priorities in my life, and everything else comes in a distant fourth. So if I have to choose between a Harvard education for my son (I’d love to see him as…oh, an FBI agent, or maybe a Congressman…) and my ego, there’s no choice. Some wheels grind more slowly than others. The important thing is this: I don’t have to be a genius to have a career in this town. I have to be professional. That means that I have to learn to speak in pure visual metaphor, negotiate the ego traps of this whacko town, and provide the highest quality work I can on-schedule and without meltdown. That would put me in the top 1% of writers. I believe Steve Perry said that his goal was to “be a faster writer than anyone better than me, and a better writer than anyone faster than me.” I love that. Replace “faster” with, oh, I don’t know…saner? Nicer? More professional? Something like that. And you’d have a big chunk of my strategy.
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To Mike—be careful with the KB. It is a VERY serious tool. Work into it slowly, no more than three times a week. On alternate days, CAREFULLY stretch, or better still, begin to develop a yoga practice. KB and yoga together could create a killer program for performance, appearance, and longevity. Let the first six weeks be your break-in period. Go lightly, have fun, just take a time period (15-30 minutes, maybe) and experiment with different fast and slow lifts. ALWAYS do less than you think you can do. Take one day a week off COMPLETELY, to check in with your body. Warm up your joints before practice: the Five Tibetans, Sun Salutations, or Coach Sonnon’s Warrior Wellness program would be very cool indeed. Also, look into Sonnon’s Be Breathed and FlowFit. Both of them will teach you things about your body that can’t be put into words.

I LOVE Kbs, even though I’m not using them at the moment. I’m on a roll with the Clubbell Bruiser Century challenge. Today, I’m doing 12 sets of 9, starting one set every two minutes. It’s gonna be killer. Then later, I’ll do my martial arts workout (today is a “heavy” day, using Scotts “4x7 protocol. Tomorrow is a recovery day, and I always take Sundays off). Monday, it’s back to the BKF Kenpo class, hopefully having made the necessary adjustments in the last two weeks to do my workout AND theirs in the same day without overtraining. Being careful there—my pulse is low in the morning, my joints feel fine, and my overall energy is good. All indicators that I’m not pushing too hard.
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I will probably go see “Shoot ‘em Up” today. Supposed to be great, brainless entertainment, a tribute to the phenomenal John Woo’s “Hard Boiled.” I also want to see “3:10 to Yuma” and the retro-slasher movie “Hatchet.” “Hatchet” will probably wait for DVD, but “Yuma” might go down on Sunday afternoon. Maybe. Going Salsa dancing with my cousin Oliveen later that night…life is just a cornucopia of delicious opportunities right now. I really have to pinch myself sometimes.

No idea what will happen next month, but right now, I’m feeling great.

Oh! Oh! Last thing: Bought Jason a new bed. Not a crib. No side-rails. It looks like a blue sports car. He’ll be able to take himself to the potty. Sniff! My little man is growing up.

Media Bias

http://www.newsroom.ucla.edu/page.asp?RelNum=6664

The above link is to a UCLA study with some provocative insights into media bias. Take a look, and give your impressions. The study seems to have used fair and intelligent methodology.

Media Bias

http://www.newsroom.ucla.edu/page.asp?RelNum=6664

Emotional Membranes

Today at 11am, we’ll have our next conference call with the studio making our movie. After that, another story meeting, probably face to face, with our producers (both very very smart ladies). And after that…T and I dive into the re-write on The script. Her novel deals with a black family moving back to an all-white town in the Northwest (curiously, T got her inspiration for this while we were living in Longview. Hmmm.) In writing the script, and dealing with the studio, I’m becoming aware of a casting issue.

It’s like this: the lead character, has a rather nasty husband. She also has a love interest who develops after the husband bails on her. Now, one thing any studio wants to do is recoup its investment. They want the film to play to the widest possible audience. This, of course, is why we were asked: “do the characters HAVE to be black?” This is in practical acknowledgement of that “5-10% disconnect” that I’ve talked about so much. Now, I’m seeing a casting situation that might very well develop: the husband will be cast black, and the love interest will be cast white. This sort of “color-blind casting” (it never really is. There are very specific types of roles that can be “color-blind” we all know which ones can’t.) could very easily happen if no one is watching. My own leverage isn’t great in this situation. I can easily see a situation where a black man is cast as the husband, and oh, Matthew McConaughey is cast as the love interest. And I can see the studio looking at me quite innocently (in the form of numerous execs) and accusing me of racism if I object. I think that my best defense is to point out the creative bankruptcy of the “evil black man, white guy gets the black woman” model. I’ve seen variations on it so often I’m tired of hearing my own voice on the subject, especially since it seems to be a lone voice in the wilderness.

Wow. Would I have the balls to risk the best chance I’ve ever had to get a movie made, based on a point of honor? And if I rolled over, would I really be doing it to be a “team player”? Or to maneuver myself into a stronger position for future gain? Or would it be simple cowardice and creative fatigue? I don’t know, but one of those interesting life tests might be right around the corner.
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This has all been brought home a little more sharply with the release of the AOL “Top 25 love scenes” list. Before I looked at it, I predicted the following:
1) None of the males would be Asian or Black.
2) “Monster’s Ball” would be high on the list.

I was right, of course. There were a couple of Latino males on there. I tend to use a more sociological than anthropological approach to racial typing. The fact is that there are interestingly “exotic” types that don’t seem to push the “Other” button as hard as I’d think. On the surface, some of these are often considered “non-white” but in practical emotional reactions, they are clearly “whiter” than Asians or Blacks.

And the standard I use most often? Simple: do we see them in natural romantic/sexual interactions with white females, without the ethnicity being a gigantic factor, massive pain being anchored to the relationship, or the relationship leading to death for one of the partners.

Clearly, Latinos fit in this category. Desi Arnez and Lucy, anyone? Arabs fit. Danny Thomas or Omar Sharif? East Indians seem to be sliding in there as well. Examples of this are smaller and less blatant, but I suspect its there. Although the skin color can be dark, somehow it doesn’t trip the tripwires that a Chinese, Japanese, African, or African-American does.

Strange, and interesting.
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I think that there are psychological “membranes” relating to certain kinds of change or evolution in our lives. For instance, someone with a serious weight issue carries 250 pounds. They can lose maybe 10-15 pounds of that before hitting a psychological “wall”—if they lose more, they are exposing themselves in some way, and will panic. I’ve simply known too many people who can lose about 10-15 pounds, then put it back on. They stay in this cycle, constantly (on the surface) satisfied by their “progress” and not “noticing” that they are in a loop.

The same thing would HAVE to be true in finances (you can earn 10-15% more, or clear up your finances to X degree, before you freak out and self-sabotage) and relationships. Harder to quantify here, but the most blatant thing I’ve seen is people who have massive wounds in their own psyche, but think that they are “more advanced” than their partners. It’s very human, and is in my mind, a revulsion for what they see in the emotional mirror.

I’ve seen this with smoking as well—people who are always “cutting down” and then backsliding and “cutting back” and so forth. And pretending not to see that the game is to SEEM as if progress is being made without actually getting anywhere.

Well, I’ve noticed this in myself. As I approach the 170 lb mark, I can feel that my subconscious is confused. It doesn’t recognize the guy in the mirror, who is looking really RIPPED these days. So…on Fasting days, by the evening I find it much easier to talk myself into, oh, just a little piece of salmon jerky. Which triggers Limbic Hunger, and leads to more eating. I KNOW this will happen, but the voices in my head talk me into that first bite anyway. Just one bite, they say. What’s the harm?

Man, that’s like a philandering husband saying: what’s the harm with one drink in her room? Or a thief saying: who’ll miss a single dollar?

It opens the door, folks.
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Somehow, this ties into my friend (did we decide to call him Wally?) Wally is a child in an adult body. He has serious impulse control problems, and blames his actions on the external circumstances. “I was stressed because of my divorce” “she was so mature” “I was depressed.”

And here is where the rubber has to meet the road. Whether the true reality of Mankind is either nature or nurture is probably the wrong question. We’re really looking at a complex interaction of genetic and environmental factors.

But one thing is certain: if someone consistently has a negative reaction to stimuli which does NOT trigger such a reaction in others, you have to look at this very carefully. It doesn’t matter that “in there somewhere” is a good person. In my mind, the safety of our children is paramount. The safety of our society is precious. A person who might, with infinite resources, be salvaged is a tragic case, because we don’t have infinite resources.

And where we spend our resources, and our time, is the best indication of our true values.

Thanks!

I want to extend thanks to you guys for cautioning me about my old friend. I will be very, very careful, keep him at a distance, and offer only generative help--he has to do all of the work. I think he is perilously close to a completely wasted human being: I pray there is a spark left in him, but I don't know. I really don't.
This is hard for me, but as Dan Moran pointed out: I've seen this before. The people I grew up with are mostly dead. Life is easily wasted. And he betrayed a primary trust in life: the care of the young. Even worse, in my mind, the care of a young woman. Sex is so incredibly precious to me, and the thought that he violated the trust of a girl NICKI'S AGE makes me so murderously angry that I have to process my emotions with care. I wonder: is part of my wish to help a reaction to my own repulsion? Am I "not living up to" my own self-image in some way?
One thing I know is that I don't have energy, time, or resources to waste. And this is as close to a lost cause as I've seen in a long time. But what I won't, and can't do, is kick him off the bottom rung of the ladder. I'm sure I can find some compromise...

But again, thank you for caring.

R is for Reading

Here's one I REALLY need to pay attention to,
myself. It is easy, so very easy for a writer to
forget that he must read. In general, the
minimum safe ratio is ten words read for every
word written. If you don't, it's much like
working out without eating--you can get away
with it for a while, but then your body will
devour itself.

And it isn't just a QUANTITY of reading we're
talking about. It's also the QUALITY. As I've
said before, please note that if you eat steak,
you excrete feces. If you were to BEGIN with
feces I don't even want to speculate what
the end product would be. Yucka.

The point is that your output will be one step
down from your input. You can't read comic
books and write classics. Sorry. Here's a
joke I always tell students:
"If you want to write comic books, read pulp
fiction. If you want to write pulp fiction,
read popular fiction. If you want to write
popular fiction, read bestsellers. If you
want to write bestsellers, read classics.
And if you want to write classics..? Choose
your grandparents very carefully."

Yeah, I know, I sneer at the concept of
talent. I believe only in "hard work and
honesty." True. But there's another side
to it, and that's that obviously an organism
is created by both nature and nurture.
We cannot change that immutable aspect
of Self given to us at birth. So we must
learn to mold our clay most effectively.

For writers, this means reading. Even if
you are screenwriting, your depth of
knowledge of human nature, plotting,
texture, the history of drama...all of these
things are fed by writing, even more than
watching film. Even though you are
manipulating visual and auditory input to
create emotion, you have a responsibility
to know what the craftsmen who came
before you accomplished. And this means
reading.

Me? Sigh. Too damned often, I don't have
the discipline to both put in a hard day's
writing, AND get my reading done. So I
start my day, every single workday, by
reading one Shakespearian scene aloud.
Even if I can't read the 10,000 words I
know are necessary to hit my peak, I'm
still feeding my subconscious some of
the highest-protein quality input on the
planet. Hopefully, I'll cope.

Q is for Question

Q is For Questions

There are times when you simply get stuck, when
the literary road you are traveling seems to have
come to a dead end. The answers simply will not
come.

And this is when it is important, in fact vital, to be
certain that you actually understand the questions.
In truth, I find that correctly formulating a question
will place you closer to the answer. In fact, a
properly formulated question will often jar your
mind from its stagnant track and get you moving again.

A recent example:

I'm working on a film treatment for a major action
star, based on elements created by other writers,
who had been developing the story for about two
years.

Where do I start? Well, I have to identify the most
important aspects of the project. What is my end
point? Well, how about a movie that is well-received
by both critics and public, and is deeply satisfying
to me as well.

What is the point previous to this? To create a
script that will excite a studio, stars, the technical
and financial people necessary to produce,
complete, and distribute a film.

What is the point previous to this? To create a
script that will excite the executives who evaluate
the projects that come through the door of a
studio, so that the higher-ups will take it
seriously, and set up face-to-face meetings in
which the possibilities can be discussed. And
the script will be purchased.

What is the point previous to this? To create
a treatment that all of the producers involved
in the project can agree upon.

Now, this is where the very human element
comes in. The people who originally created
the project are just people, with egos and
emotional needs. They invested themselves
in this work, and although there are aspects
of their vision that are...shall we say non-optimal?
There are other aspects that are quite
impressive, ingredients that could actually
make a tasty cinematic meal.

This situation (and at least one person reading
this knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
Hi, Sweetie!) is delicate, somewhat akin to
entering a kitchen after three other cooks
have half-finished a meal, and being asked
to make an exquisite dinner.

If feelings are hurt, people will kill deals just
for spite. Happens all the time. So I have a
"stew" of odd parts, that doesn't work as a f
ilm. But... what if I had to make it work?
What if someone offered to blow my daughter's
brains out if I didn't make it work? Or to put
a million dollars on the table if I did?

Then...another question. What if I look at the
treatment I was handed as a newspaper story
about actual events that happened. Some of
the facts may have been garbled. Some of
the witnesses interviewed may have been
wrong, or their words distorted or
misremembered. They may have lied.

But SOMETHING actually happened.
Something very similar to what was written
down. If I can dig deeply enough, think
broadly enough, I can reconstruct the actual
event.

And then find the way to tell it most creatively
and honestly and entertainingly...
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Do you see how this process all began by
asking questions? And that if you follow
the right questions to their conclusion, you
can dismantle a creative log-jam? Try it.
Try writing five vital questions about the
project you are currently working on. Until
you get your own, try these:

1) What is my climactic scene?
2) What is the dominant emotion of this piece?
3) What is my lead characters great desire,
his grand obsession?
4) What is the hidden truth of the lie my
lead character uses to justify his existence?
5) Who is the audience for my story, and
how can I most deeply satisfy them?
##
There are more questions. Infinitely more.
Start with these, and keep going.

An old friend resurfaces...

Nicki’s been out in Las Vegas at an Anime convention this weekend. I’m still getting used to her having this much mobility and freedom. Ah well, it’s all to the good. She takes off for college in three weeks…
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I want to attend classes at the BKF school down in Leimert Park. My most serious concern is one of balancing the exercise with my personal recovery work. Can’t let the workouts there interfere with my private work.

The reason for this is that my own private workouts are tuned to my physiology and psychological makeup, designed, to optimize my health and performance. The workout at a martial arts school is designed to maximize your performance in that particular style. Often, they are a collection of exercises that produce generalized fitness, or some particular set of attributes considered desirable by the teachers.

Often, these are exercises that are more appropriate for teenagers than those of us over forty. Long sets of pushups certainly produce upper body strength and muscular endurance, as well as a certain amount of overall dynamics. But they also court repetitive stress injuries in sufficiently high numbers, and need to be monitored for joint damage. They knock off a hundred pushups and situps in a class, so I have to be able to do that, but also have to integrate that preparedness into my overall plan.

So yesterday was a test. Full “Density Cycle” workout in the morning (12 sets of 9 Gama Casts, starting one set every two minutes) nd then a game of “Cards” starting at 8pm in the evening—the time a class starts at the Leimert Park school. I chose Hindu Pushups, Situps, 16-KG Kettlebell C&J, and the “Over and Under” 3-2 punch combination that is the core of BKF Kenpo. Assign each a suit, shuffle the cards and off I go. I completed the deck in 33 minutes and 57 seconds, and felt a little (but not a lot) wrung out by the end. The trick is to:
1) make my home workout tougher than the one in class
2) See what it takes to recover effectively.

I don’t feel sore today, but I’m betting that’s an illusion. If I don’t do my yoga, and maybe Spa as well, I’m gonna be a hurtin’ unit tomorrow…
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I have a situation that I’d love some comments on. An old friend of mine, call him Wally, made a hideous mistake, in the form of initiating a sexual relationship with an underaged girl. Even worse, he was an assistant instructor at her school at the time. We were all shocked when it happened, and I was very disappointed by his apparent inability to understand what he had done wrong. After all, she was a VERY mature thirteen year old…

Jesus Christ. Anyway, he’s just finished almost six years in prison, and is out. As you can imagine, his life is pretty close to destroyed. He would love to be in touch with me, and I spoke to him on Saturday—he lives in another state. I’m really not sure who he is anymore, how prison might have/must have changed him. He could be broken, he could be dangerous. I just don’t know, and I have a sinking sense that there is nothing I can do for him. I’ve tried so hard over the years, and he just wouldn’t listen. I certainly didn’t see THIS particular problem coming, but there was a lack of adult responsibility, as well as some serious impulse control issues.

He has done some terrible things…but he is also someone I care about. If there is anything I can do to genuinely help him get his life together, I really want to. But I’m afraid there is nothing, that he is too far gone, and that I’d be pouring my energy down a sinkhole.

This is especially important to consider because of the opportunities opening to me right now. If I can keep my act together, this is the moment I’ve waited and worked for my entire life. Success at this point, at this time, in these ways means not only fulfillment of personal dreams but the ability to contribute to my family, my community, and the culture at large. But…I fear that I am tempted to throw away a human being who is holding on to the edge of the world by his fingernails. Terrified, ashamed, possibly close to just checking out.

What do you do? When do you let go of an old friend?

HAPPY 60TH STEVE PERRY!

“The secret to Life” said Old Perry
“Is to eat, and to drink, and be merry.
To my very last breath
I’ll outrun Mr. Death
Til I’m too goddam ancient to bury.”

Almost there, old son. Another few years, and they’ll have to re-set your odometer. HAPPY 60TH, STEVE!!
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Dammit, I have to miss a free trip to Antigua this year—I’m already booked for the Miami Book Faire, and a Black Speculative Fiction conference. If you’ve never been to Antigua, you’re missing a fabulous vacation spot.
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On the Michael Vick dog-fighting case. Abominable. But I doubt if people would have been as upset were it, say, cock fighting. Why? Because we don’t eat dogs, that’s why. If I was a rooster, I might very well prefer to being a fighting rooster—at least then I’d have a chance. Much like being a bull in a bull-fight. At least you have a chance, however small. But we love our dogs, and the spectacle of Man’s Best Friend bred, raised, and conditioned for such savagery rips our hearts out.

What do I think of him as a human being? Well, he’s not likely to be as empathetic to the condition of his fellow man as the average person. While the inability to empathize with animals doesn’t necessarily map over to humans…I still have to say I doubt I’d want him as a neighbor.

What of his career as a football player? We’ll see what’s left of him after his jail time. A year or two is a lifetime in the career of a professional athlete. Even if he still has his chops, sports is show business, based not merely on ones stats, but the ability to hold the loyalty of the crowd. I suspect that he may have crossed a line, such that the next time that he takes the field, he’ll get booed.

Is that fair? For him to have made a mistake that denies him the ability to use his skills to make a living? Well…you know, that’s life, in one way. It won’t be the government taking his livelihood away, in the final analysis. It will be the market-place. Yes, Mike Tyson was still a big draw after his rape conviction. But I think that’s because people had put him in the category of “barely human animal we like to watch nearly kill people” rather than “athlete.” Athletes are linked to the warrior ethic, where the young men of the village compete not merely to demonstrate prowess but to refine it. Ultimately, we react to them as we do because we understand that the safety of our children depends largely on the strength of those who guard the walls.

We NEED our warriors to be capable of great violence, but expect them to keep it under control. How many dogs were found on his property? Forty corpses? That’s a serial killing. How many dogs are worth a human life? Some would say thousands. Others that animals are more precious than humans. Most of us are somewhere in-between. When we see someone of formidable physical skill, if they are also violent, it is frightening. It unravels part of the fabric of our society—our trust in those more physically capable than ourselves.

At the least, we can no longer hold such men and women up as heroes to our children. They become cautionary tales at best. But we want more than that. We want them to be heroic. Exemplary. We want them to be destinations to inspire our children, and ourselves. So we pay them vast sums of money to exhibit their very special skills. And we are, in my mind, fully justified to withdraw our affection when our trust is betrayed.

Yes, he’s just an athlete. No one should take that away from him. But a rich and beloved athlete? That we deserve a vote on. It’s our money, ultimately. Even more importantly, it’s our love.

Lifewriting Theme song?

Someone pointed out that Liberals tend to use the term “Neocon” as an umbrella term for whatever they don’t like on the Right. I think there’s some truth to that. But to complete the position, it seems to me that in casual discourse and on talk radio, Liberals use the term “Neocon” the way Conservatives use the term “Liberal.” There seems to be genuine venom there, even the “Hah-Hah only kidding” venom of the old bumper sticker “If they take away our guns, how will we shoot the Liberals?” that I used to see. Hah hah.
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I remember when Liberality per se lost me. It was during the initial debates on Nuclear Power. It seemed to me that Liberal Democrats were debating on primarily emotional basis, and most of the technical, scientific information supported the position of nuclear power as a viable alternative, with its risks and rewards—like every other form of power. The protestors certainly had their valid thoughts, but there seemed to be a huge amount of sheer raving emotion there as well.

Of course, a strange variant of that seems to be happening now with Global Warming—only from the opposite side. And I think it’s just as sad. But the Conservatives lost me during the Civil Rights era, where they were very clearly fighting every piece of legislation, and to this day love bringing up Martin Luther King’s sexual peccadilloes as if that had something to do with his position on social justice. As if Thomas Jefferson’s ownership of slaves diminishes his position in the historical firmament. Yeah, right.

Of course, I can’t go Libertarian, either. I’ve heard Libertarians—all white, of course—suggest that Federal intervention during the Civil Rights era was a mistake. That blacks being lynched and beaten should have just “moved north” rather than ask the Feds to intervene, and try murderers for “depriving of civil rights” slain poll workers. Why, just because the local authorities wouldn’t try them, is no reason to tread on Double Jeopardy territory!

I consider this to be moral cowardice of the very worst kind, the kind of thing that implies a total lack of empathy for other human beings, if they are not of your tribe. I would not want such a person as a neighbor.

So…I have no political home, really. But I’m not at all certain I need one.
##
I was just asked to do a commentary piece for a Philadelphia paper on the subject of King Tut. Specifically, does it matter if he was Black? It’s so interesting being a cultural bridge. No matter what group I’m around, I’m asked to explain the positions of the other group. Story of my life.
##
Lifewriting Theme song?

Two weeks ago I was listening to the radio, and heard (again) Natasha Bedingfield’s terrific song “Unwritten.” It seemed extraordinarily beautiful to me, and I suggest you hunt up the lyrics. But a quote from them (all rights reserved to Miss Bedingfield)…


“I am unwritten,
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, yeah…”


Oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines, oh yeah yeah
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way oh, oh

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins…”


Wow. Nobody can tell me that today’s kids don’t have spirit, or can’t write music, or don’t appreciate the wonder of life. Love that song.

I was asked who my favorite poets are. I love Shakespeare, and Poe, and Emily Dickenson, and Maya Angelou, and Rumi, and the Bible, and many, many more. And in music I enjoy (while not considering them at the level of those mentioned) any number of poets, from Prince and Kanye West and Snoop to Harry Chapin (“A Better Place to Be” is incredible) and Bob Dylan to Stevie Wonder and Shawn Colvin ("Sunny Came Home", a devastating song about an abused girl incinerating her abusers, really hits my buttons) and others.

P is for "Poetics"

If someone wakes you up at five in the morning
after the wildest bachelor party of your life, and
asks you what a story is, you should be able to
give a coherent answer. The most basic aspects
of your craft should be so deeply engrained that
they live at the level of "Unconscious Competence"
--the same place that basic walking, bike-riding,
or bladder-control skills reside. If that seems
odd, please remember that, once upon a time,
you had none of these. They are all learned, and
only when you had learned them thoroughly
could you move on to more advanced behaviors,
skills, or responsibilities.

For a decade, I had considered "Story" to consist
of an interaction between plot and character.
Then my good lady wife, Tananarive, convinced
me to add a third: Poetics.

By this I mean two major things: the sounds of
the words as they interact, and the music of
the imagery. In books and stories, you write
in multiple sensory modes: taste, touch, smell,
sight, hearing. Your characters experience the
world in all of them, and you have the opportunity
to create a harmonic flow that can be absolutely
captivating.

In film and television, you have two senses:
visual and auditory. And eighty percent of
the audience's experience is visual in nature.
Film, especially, is what you SEE. So the "poetics"
of film is found not just in the language, but in
the use of visual images, the way that they play
off one another, resonate with each other.

When writing your first draft, it might be smart
to leave out dialogue altogether, to see how
close you can come to telling the story with
pure images--as a silent film. Then comes
dialogue. In your first draft, simply have the
characters say what is on their mind. In
subsequent re-writes, search for ways to
move text to sub-text, to have characters
talk "off the nose" so to speak. What they
DON'T say can be more important than what
they say, because it forces your audience to
engage with the process of communication.
If you've done your job right, the poetry is
created in their minds, as they search the
visual images, the sounds, the words said
and ideas unsaid...and find their own
meaning in your scenes.
But to teach yourself this, I suggest reading
a poem every day. Every single day. Learn
to understand the poet's craft on a level
beyond language. Language is the TOOL
that they use to accomplish an intent. It
is the medium, not the message.

N is for "Never Give Up"

I heard a story once--not certain whether it's
true or apocryphal. It's said that Winston
Churchill was asked to give the commencement
address at a British school. He mounted the
stage, looked out at the audience of fresh
young faces and said: "Never. Never. Never.
Never. Never. Never. Never give up."

And sat down.

It's never, ever, ever been said better. In life,
you should choose an occupation, a career,
a livelihood that you feel that strongly about.
Me? I'd rather fail as a writer than succeed
at anything else. I've typed my fingers bloody,
cried myself to sleep, wrestled with my demons,
read until my eyes were bleary, sought out
any and all advice or help I could find, wherever
I could find it.

All because what I wanted, more than anything
in the world, was to be a writer. Most people
can't handle rejection, not realizing that
rejection, in any arena from getting published
seduction to sales (and aren't they all really
just the same thing?), is just a numbers game.
You have to get rejected twenty times for
every "yes" you get. Or thirty. Or fifty.
Whatever.

The person who wins is the one who gets
up to the plate one more time after his
heart has been broken. Who gets back
on the horse after all his friends are wincing
and limping back to the bunkhouse. Who
asks yet another girl to dance after a
dozen have said "no."

It's a numbers game. When you start
collecting rejection slips, keep a scrap-book.
Paper your walls with the little suckers.
Consider every "no" a victory--you are one
of the few with the guts to keep going after
it gets tough.

And make no mistake, it's going to be tough.
Even writers who seem to have utterly
charmed careers have their personal struggles,
I promise you. They just don't wear their
hearts on their sleeves. You see the finished
product, not the hell they went through to produce it.

You must believe that your efforts will be
rewarded, if your goals are clear, you work
to the edge of your ability, tell the truth,
continually improve your circle of allies,
and have faith.

Go back over everything I've taught you
about the Hero's Journey. It is the combined
wisdom of all the world's elders, condensed
to comprehensible form. While nothing and
no one can promise you success, I can
absolutely guarantee you failure:

Just roll over and give up. That'll do it.

Most Bizarre I.F. Story yet...

I subscribe to an I.F. mailing list, and the following letter was in my box today, from a lady who owns a farm:

###
"FWIW, in one group we had 6 people all try IF at the same time. Most
of us lost weight. But one person, who was underweight, gained weight. I
think if you want to have weightlifter-type huge muscles, it won't work as
well as the standard weightlifter diet. But if you want to be lean and
muscular, it might work well.
>
> I base this on my chicken experiments ... ok, chickens aren't
people. But breeds known as "meat chickens" have huge muscles (the part you eat)
> although those muscles are not very strong (typically they can't
walk well, and spend most of their time sitting down). I raised some meat
chickens on an IF diet though (all they could eat, once or twice a day) and they
came out strong, healthy, and lean. They still have a good deal of
muscle, but it's not as big as the ones fed all day. There is very little fat
though, and they are far more active and healthy. They can actually fly,
which is VERY unusual in that breed.
>
> -- Heather
###
Well, there you have it. Treats cancer, heart disease, obesity, Alzheimers, nerve damage, increases longevity...and can teach your chickens to fly.

Bootcamp, anyone?

Tananarive is back from Texas, where she’s been visiting her sister for a week. We should get our notes back from Searchlight today on THE GOOD HOUSE. And the next Tennyson novel is in the chute. This is going to be interesting.
##
Looking forward to working out with the BKF tonight. I want to adopt that little school as my private charity. Think I could do some good…
##
I think my next computer is going to be a Mac with Bootcamp (their PC emulation software), so that I can run some of the Windows programs that are kinda useful. Anyone out there with experience with Bootcamp?
##
So…my meditations work something like this: connect with the core “fire in the belly” energy. Bring it up and align it with my heartspace. Are my emotions clear? If not, meditate until the light gets a little brighter. Bring it up to my throat. Have I been speaking the truth? Communicating honestly with my family and allies? Then the head. Is my mind clear? Do I know what has to be done today to further my goals and intentions? Are my emotions and physical energies in alignment?
And then last I take the energy up to spirit. Are my actions and intentions in alignment with my spiritual values? Am I prepared to die for the principles I am expressing in my actions today? The macro must be expressed in the micro. Ultimately, what we exchange for our daily bread is another chunk of our lives. Be certain its worth it.
##
There’s a film trailer for “Alien Versus Predator 2” floating around, and damned if it doesn’t look pretty good. I can’t believe the first one. Dark Horse comics has done a slew of good stories in the Aliens-Predators universe, so there’s no question it can be done. But whatever idiots green-lighted a PG-13 sequel to two R-Rated movies obviously had contempt for their audience. They had no idea at all what they were doing. Hope this works out better…

A commentary

I am moved to address the following post:

""If some neo-con positions are based on pure naked self interest, then things are more frightening than I ever thought. For example, the only possible self interest based reason for a male to be rabidly anti-abortion and anti birth control is if he hopes for many more huge wars of conquest and figures we are going to need every woman to have six or so kids to provide the needed cannon fodder a couple of decades in the future."
##
1) I didn't say "some" positions, I said "all" positions are based on self interest.
2) I didn't say "naked" which might imply "direct".
3) Conversational language is a tricky thing, and we take for granted that a certain looseness oils the wheels of communication. I'm sure what you meant to say was not "the only possible reason" but rather "the only reason I can think of" or something of that kind.
4) Another possible reason is actual spiritual/philosophical belief that abortion is murder, that life begins at fertilization. Taken further, there are those who believe the only purpose for sex is reproduction. A person who believes either of these things might reasonably be expected to be against abortion or birth control.
5) A sociobiological theorist might, however, take the position that such religious beliefs actually relate to exactly what you said: the drive to increase population to produce larger armies and/or work forces. These needs become cultural programming, and work their way into the spiritual texts of a culture so that they are "unconscious competance." After all, the "DINK" lifestyule (dual income, no kids) can be quite fancy-free and luxurient. Makes perfect sense for an individual couple to desire it. But no self-replicating society could ever encourage it, right? I mean, that's social suicide--the society collapses in one generation.
##
Why do I sacrifice for my children? Self interest. I LOVE being a dad, and consider the investments I make in time and energy the soundest of my life. But there isn't necessarily DIRECT payoff.

Viewed through this lens, there are many reasons to, for instance, invade Iraq. Among them are both "positive" and "negative" reasons, depending on your frame of reference. (I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with any of these, I've just heard them in discussions by sincere, intelligent people)
1) Spreading Democracy. For its own sake. Help those people!
2) Spreading Democracy. For our sake. We are safer if they think like we do. Democracy decreases psychological dissatisfaction on the part of a populace, makes suicide bombers less likely.
3) Spread Christianity. For its own sake. Muslims are deluded by a false prophet. We should save their souls.
4) Spread Christianity. For our soul's sake. We get brownie points in heaven for bringing souls to God.
5) spread Christianity. For our security's sake. We'll be safer if the Middle East thinks more like we do.
6) Stopping terrorism. Saddam was a sponsor of terrorism, directly or indirectly. He dominated his people and stockpiled WMD's. He defied the United Nations and blocked our weapons inspectors. He was a clear and present danger.
7) Stopping terrorism--indirectly. By destroying the infrastructure of an establishm government, we sent a message to the rest of the world: if we even THINK you had anything to do with hurting us, we will kill you. Whether the rest of the world agrees with it, supports us, of whatever...we will kill you. Don't even DREAM of providing aid and succor to anyone who would hurt us. Or we will kill you.
8) Oil. Altruistic Americanism Our society runs on energy. Iraq has the second-largest reserves in the world. We need that oil to keep our country strong. Our people want it, but Americans are so nice we don't want to believe we're an empire. So we need an excuse to go take it. American's won't ask too many questions. If we don't do this, in a few years freezing Americans will ask us: "why didn't you?" I'm willing to die to provide a secure future for my children. (This is someone who would welcome an alternative energy technology)
9) Oil. Honestly greedy American. I'm in the oil business. My friends and I sell oil and oil infrastructure. If we invade Iraq, we'll make beaucoup bucks. (This, in it's purest form, is someone who would squash an alternative energy technology unless he owned a big piece of it.)
10) There are other reasons--some more positive, some hideous. But the above probably covers better than 95%
##
I actually think that everyone involved in the decision to invade Iraq had some combination of the above (or other) reasons--I don't think it was simple at all. Some, I think, made their decisions for what I would consider honorable, honest, positive reasons. And some for the most cynical and evil reasons imaginable. Most were somewhere in-between. But ALL were responding to self-interest, "naked" or not.

I can understand an abortion-clinic bomber. If I REALLY believed that doctors are murdering babies in there, and that the law wouldn't stop it...I might have to blow one up myself. It would be like killing Nazis to free Jews in a concentration camp, or John Brown killing white men to free blacks. Issues that deal with the nature of the human soul are hideously difficult to resolve. I don't know when life begins. I know that I'm willing to stand on the following position: by the time the fertilized tissue can survive outside the mother's body, it is, to me, "alive." I may be wrong, but that's the position I'm willing to defend. Before that point, it's the mother's business. I'm not willing to stand between a woman and her body. Too much evil has been done in the name of God, by well-meaning people who believe that THEY understand the ultimate nature of the universe better than others. I won't go there.

But I can't pretend that I don't understand people who do.

Masters of Science Fiction

Tonight's episode was written by Harlan Ellison. In addition, he (and his co-writer Josh Olsen) have a cameo at the end. Should be a don't-miss.
##
You know, all those years reading Jonny Hart's "B.C." comic strip, I always thought he was joking. Then I came to discover that he was an evangelical Christian who actually believed that the earth was only 10,000 years old or so, and that humans and dinosaurs were contemporaries. Blew my mind. It also disturbs the living hell out of me that about 30% of the American public believes this. WHAT??? I'd thought those percentages were far, far lower. And we wonder why America is lagging behind in technology? And our overall academic scores are sinking in comparison with the rest of the industrial world? Only 5% of Americans who describe themselves as "scientists" believe this (thank God) but it implies that 95% of our technical folks are coming out of 70% of the population. I do not, in any way, believe that those 30% are stupid. I DO think that they are viewing the world through coke-bottle perceptual filters, arguing backwards from a premise downloaded into their brains before they had control of their logical faculties. Before you (or I) point the finger, though, you'd better ask: and what belief systems got layered into MY brain that I have never really examined, that distorts or filters every piece of data I've processed since childhood?
I think that racism, sexism, political extremism, religious intolerance and so much more relate to this. Whatever we were programmed with before the age of 12 has to be dynamited out by adulthood.
So when someone asks me "what can be done about racism?" (in, for instance, movie-viewing choices that impact box office for certain images) my real reply is that time will do it. Two things will make a tremendous impact on racism: When no group has a simple majority, and when 80% of white males born before 1950 are dead. Sorry, guys, but the natural human tendency to think "we rule and you drool" is powerful. People only change when they can no longer pretend the world revolves around them.
##
Saw "War" with Jet Li and Jason Statham yesterday. A pretty good idea, marred by muddy direction, but still intertaining. And no, Jet Li doesn't do a ton of martial arts stuff--he says he's done with that, and I can understand why. At his age, it's probably not a lot of fun to train hard enough to get into the kind of gnarly shape it takes to make, say, "Hero." But this re-working of "Yojimbo" about an FBI agent (Statham) chasing an assassin (Li) who killed his partner, certainly has its entertainment value. Li sets out to pit the Yakuza against the Tong in a bloodbath that certainly could have used a John Woo or Antoine Fuqua level of visual style. No such luck, but I finished my popcorn and enjoyed myself.
##
WARNING: SAMBO ALERT
##
The movie has one black character, who dies protecting the white guy. The sad, sad thing is that that movie's director is black. The rot runs deep, folks.

Screenwriting Expo

Today was an “easy” day on my 4X7 cycle, but also a Bruiser day. So I modified the load by cutting overall reps: 9 sets of 6 reps, starting one set every two minutes. Takes about 30 seconds to do 6 Gama Casts, so that gave me 90 seconds rest between sets. At about 50 reps, it stopped being fun, so I knocked off.
##
Got my schedule for the 2007 Screenwriting Expo, October 24-28 at the LAX Marriot. It’s the biggest in the world, and I’ll be giving four talks: plot, characterization, horror, and SF. I strongly suggest you check out the Expo, whether or not you hit my events. Michael Reaves will be there, talking about his new Star Trek episode—he’s a great guy, and if you are any parts of a Trekkie, be there.
##
I’m reading “Julius Caesar” right now, and suddenly realized that, somehow, I’d missed ever reading it before, although I saw the Marlon Brando version a loooong time ago. The sense of dread and shattered honor is palpable.

the back of your eyelids

I was having lunch with a friend who has a “friendly” abusive relationship with his wife. He insults her a lot. He can’t help it. When she’s in a good mood, feeling strong, she insults him right back. But…frankly, he’s faster and sharper than she is, and she can’t always do it. And I’ve watched her eyes surreptitiously. She adores him, and his comments sting.

So after one of his verbal sallies, I turned to him and said: “yeah, and you know the sad thing? She is absolutely, totally, the best you can do. What does that say about you?”

Well, THAT hit the reset button at the table, and he spent the next hour trying to get under MY skin. The funny thing was that he was trying to attack my basic sunny nature. It was obvious that he can’t quite believe that I really love people as much as I do, that I love life as much as I do, that the world I inhabit really has as much light as I see, even in my darkest moments. He can’t really believe it, and thought he was jabbing pins into some deep dark ugly secret inside me. I thought it was cute.

I mean, when we argued about whether Jews are white people (My position is that there are no absolute standards for what is what. So I tend to lump people into large groups that help me understand sociological reactions. From this point of view, I consider Jews to be a sub-set of “white” in the same way Zulus or pigmies are a sub-set of “black”, not a separate racial group.) or whether my career has been helped or hindered by my race (I think this one is hysterical, and contains a soupcon of unconscious racism. If blacks are as underrepresented in the field as we are, blacks MUST be different from whites, either in their ambitions, interests, or capacities--or so I believe their unconscious preassumptions indicate), that there must be a deep dark cloud down there.

Well, anyone reading this blog knows that I regularly tap a sea of emotional oil, and some of it is negative. But you just can’t ruin my day by pointing it out, as if I’m not aware, or think it’s a big secret that I’m not a perfect angel. Zowie! What a revelation!

But a conversation a few days ago with a lady who had recently broken up with a friend of mine, as well as another conversation with a lady I’ve known for some years, linked odd connections in the back of my head.

The lady who broke up with my friend (let’s call her Sheila) is an energetic, intelligent lass who is hurting right now. She clearly wonders what it will take to find a healthy relationship, and blames him for all that went wrong. She believes that he cheated on her, big-time. You know? She may be right. My own hackles raised a little bit when I met one of his “friends.” Or she may be wrong. I don’t know. But only one thing is true beyond doubt—her future happiness is based on her ability to see clearly. In other words, don’t trust people, ever. Instead, rely upon them to do whatever it is they believe to be in their own self-interest, and then improve your ability to determine what that is.

(Here’s an interesting game: flip around the web, and visit web sites dedicated to different political persuasions. Liberal, Conservative, Libertarian, whatever. No matter what their arguments, assume that what you are seeing is naked self-interest disguised as political theory. What dishonesty and distortion do you see? What projecting of their guilt and greed and fear onto the “other” do you see? Each political polarity plays a somewhat different game, but they all play. Even better, each of them uses different tactics to sway their “faithful” into believing that it’s the OTHER guys who are actually the dishonest, inhumane ones. It’s pretty damned funny once you get the joke)

So what Sheila has to do is heal the part of herself that is balanced by a domineering, cheating man. What is that? I really don’t want to speculate, but the answer is written on the back of her eyelids. If she’ll just slow down and quietly contemplate her own Self, the answer will come within a hundred hours. Guaranteed.
##
Then there was the conversation with the lady I’ve known for some time. She was criticizing my sense of racial isolation in the SF field, saying that my comment that I was “alone” (ethnically and genderically speaking) was only justified if I was incredibly selective in my categories. That she could use the same filters to seem completely “alone” in her field, because she is the only woman in her technical specialization in the small town she lives in.

Fair enough. I disagreed, but kept my disagreement to myself. In my mind, the parallels would be valid if she was the only woman in her specialty in the WORLD, not just in East Nowhere, population five thousand. After all, she can pick up the phone and talk to another woman in her field any time she wants to.

In my entire career, I have NEVER been to a Science Fiction convention (and I’ve been to hundreds) where there was even one, single black male writer other than myself. Never. Ever. Frankly, I doubt she can even really wrap her mind around the implications of that.

That’s not the point. The point is that in other conversation, she went on and on about her spiritual beliefs, and how men, and male energy, have dominated women throughout history. On and on she went about “The Patriarchy” and its damage to the planet and our spiritual essence. And she expected me to agree and consider this all self-evident.

Fact is, I DO see ways that the Feminine energy needs to drive more of this planet’s action, and that men have been repressive. And I’m sure that there are things I don’t understand here, that would make me even more sympathetic.

The point is that she just couldn’t see my issues. Couldn’t see them. Thought I was whining to believe that there were problems related to ethnicity. And implied that an intelligent, aware person doesn’t do that. And then she immediately launched into her own beliefs that women are being kept down by men.

Hmmm. Would I suspect that my friend has a bit of problem projecting her own “inwardness” into others? Seeing their humanity as clearly as she feels her own? Or might it be that, yes, she grasps that groups who hold power will tend to use that power to hold others back…but when the criticism is of HER group, she shuts her mind down?


Now, both these women have recently ended relationships. In speaking of the “why,” both completely externalized the reasons: it was “him.” And in both cases, the problem involved other women. In both cases (in my opinion) unless they figure out where THEY fit in the equation, the mistakes THEY made, they’re going to run right out and repeat the pattern. And continue to repeat it until either they simply believe that “Men are dogs” or they wake up and grasp that, in both relationships, they were absolutely doing the best they could do. And if they want better relationships, they have to be better, stronger, clearer, more centered people.

THERE’S NOBODY OUT THERE. There is no black or white, male or female, Christian or Muslim, Conservative or Liberal. There is just you. And the degree to which you dehumanize the “other” and believe them “evil” in comparison to you says nothing except to reveal what you think of your own secret self. “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”

And when you fall short, what do you do? Think you are an evil, twisted thing? Or a being of light, struggling against darkness? Or a little piece of protoplasm, doing the best you can?

How do you represent reality? I promise that what you say about others is the secret language your heart uses to represent your own failings and foibles. If you tend to call others “idiots” when they make mistakes, what in the hell do you think you call yourself?

Be very very careful, people.
##
I recently had a conversation with a friend who, despite his genius and accomplishment, is not a happy man. He feels that the external world has not given him the opportunity he deserves. And that if it only would, he would be happy. No. He has it exactly, precisely backwards. FIRST be happy. THEN you will attract other happy, healthy people, who will enjoy being with you, want to play with you, create opportunities for you. The external world can NEVER make you happy. Happiness, love, contentment must come from within you.

The tabloids are filled with stories of people with money and power who are miserable. They thought that external accomplishment would change their internal states. It’s so sad.

Sit quietly. Find the essence within. Connect it with whatever concept of an external divinity that works for you. Be very very still, and listen to the conversation.

I promise it is miles different from the “he-said she-said, they-suck, all-is-lost” crap you hear on the radio, in bars, at the water cooler.

You deserve better than that. And the answer is written on the back of your own eyelids.