Twenty Questions #10: "How many times?"

(and yes, I'm skipping around a bit...it amuses me.)


"How Many Times Are You Willing To Hear "No"?"


Here's a big one if you choose to create a life of satisfaction and evolution.   "No" is a word , a look, a closed door, a rejection slip.  It is a failed diet, a training injury or loss.  It is a broken contract, a writer's block, a weakness of the body or mind, a lost relationship.


On the way to love, to success, to stability, to increase or healing of any kind, we meet failure.    And it is important that you ask yourself (and the different "aspects" of yourself, if clarity eludes...)
1) How many times are you willing to hear no?
2) What exactly does failure mean in this particular arena?
3) How many times did your role models fail before they achieved success?
4) What is the observed difference in what failure means to successful people in this arena, and UNSUCCESSFUL people in this arena.  I promise--there is a huge one.
5) What have you succeeded in in the past, after multiple failures?
6) How did you convince yourself to keep trying?
7) What does your "inner child" say about the meaning of failure?
8) What does the deepest, wisest being within you, your "inner elder" think of failure?
9)Is there any difference between what the male and female aspects of your personality think about failure?
10)  What would be the most empowering belief you could have, or action you could take, in relationship to a "no"?


Salesmen know that it is simply a numbers game: if you knock on enough doors, you'll eventually find someone who wants your product.  If you ask enough girls to dance, one will say "yes."  If you paper your walls with rejection slips, you are on your way to being a real writer.


In my own life, my mother tore up or burned my early stories.   My teachers and career counselors told me my dreams of being a writer were fantasies that would destroy my life.   I was told that people of my ethnicity "did not write".    Told I wasn't smart enough, lucky enough, talented enough.  Had story after story after story rejected, until I asked myself the critical question: how many more times am I willing to hear "no" before I quit?   And what I decided was that I would write, polish, and submit 100 stories and have them ALL circulating, before I even began to judge whether I was on the right track.   And you know what happened?  I got to about story twenty-two before I started selling, and have never looked back.


That was my commitment to myself.  It wasn't that I didn't cry, feel cheated, hear the negative voices, doubt myself, or anything else.   It was that I loved my dream of being a writer so much that I was willing to walk through the emotional fire, willing to push myself through pain, doubt, and fear...drawn by my dream of being an artist.  The little boy inside me adores my "adult" self for demanding that of myself.  And he rewards me with the energy and creativity I need to get up every day and hit is HARD and just love the entire process, even when it's hard.


And my "elder"?   He tells me life is both terribly short and achingly long.  Too short to live without getting that daily "juice" of becoming your truest self.  Too long to live with the regret of abandoning your dream. 


The choices are yours.  How many times are YOU willing to hear "no"?




Be the Hero in the adventure of your lifetime!
Steve

Ancient Child Question #2

2)  What small steps can you see toward your goal?  What action can you take today?

The second of the Twenty Questions is deceptively simple.   Basically, once you have determined your four basic goals (body, career, relationships, finances) you have a foundation to build anything you desire in life.   And there are two things you need to to to create optimal benefits in each:
a) Take some action toward your intended goals every day.
b) Never leave the site of a new decision without taking an action.

What you want is to create dynamism, momentum.  Enough momentum to keep you going when you are tired and discouraged, or apparently walled in.  These questions are used during your meditation time: you can simply imagine speaking  to your "child" self or "ancient" self.  You can write the question with your dominant hand, and write the answer with your non-dominant hand.   You can simply listen to the "child" and "elder" selves conversing.  The possibilities are limited only by your imagination. 

Yesterday, for instance, the following steps made a difference in my four major arenas:
1) Planned the next major chunk of the fantasy novel I'm working on with Larry Niven.
2) Forty minutes of yoga.
3) Forty minutes of reading with Jason (he loves the "Diary of a wimpy kid" series!).  Have  my little Oscar party with Tananarive, snuggling on the couch and cheering our favorites.
4) Organize the bank deposit I need to make today.

Now, most of yesterday was laziness, but even in the midst of my day off, I like to know I've taken some small step toward any goal that is important to me.   Forty minutes of yoga could have been five minutes of joint recovery.    The writing might have been just writing down a single idea for tomorrow's writing.

I asked my "child" self what the single most important thing I could do...and not surprisingly, it was "spend time with Jason."  So we ended up putting on the gloves and whacking each other around in the gym until he was exhausted with hilarity.  He just eats it up, and is developing a hell of a reverse punch, let me tell you.  My elder told me to take time to congratulate my friend on his Oscar nomination, just let him know win lose or draw how proud I am, and how happy for him.

It was a good day--because I listened, and took action.  What can YOU do today to deepen your understanding of your quiet voices, and move toward your goals?

Get to know yourself, and you'll never be alone.

Steve

Smoking and the "Ancient Child"

One of my FaceBook friends recently celebrated his fifth anniversary as a non-smoker.    I asked what his method was, and what he said tied in so closely to the Ancient Child technique that I wanted to share it.   The following back-and-forth took place:
###

FB: “I’m glad you asked. It's kinda personal but I'm not shy. I knew from personal experience about a psycho-personality model commonly referred to as the "inner child," which works for me though others may identify with other terms like "higher" and "lower" selves.

STEVE:  Different imagery produces different associations, and relates to different aspects of our internal territory.   Male/female, animal/spiritual, child/elder are just some of the possible splits.  The smart thing is to work with different symbols and see which ones, in which syntax, have power.

FB:  Anyway, that's a deep discussion/digression. Bottom line is that after trying many times to quit, I reached a point where I could almost see that "inner child" part of me that needed to rebel, to be pacified, to do what he wanted.

STEVE: Note the similarity between this and people who have difficulty finishing, say, a short story.  Or can’t decide which of several different projects to pursue.   Or have a difficult time disciplining themselves to endure an unpleasant “now” in exchange for a blissful tomorrow.  This could easily be seen as a “war” between the child who wants to watch cartoons, and the adult who pushes the completion of homework.

FB:    And so I had an inner dialog. Literally. I (the adult "I" who is more or less in charge) made him a deal. I said, "We both know this smoking is killing us, right? It's time to put it behind us. It's Sept. 5th. Let's agree to smoke like a chimney if you want until the end of the month. No restrictions, no judgment. And come Oct. 1st we put it down and don't look back. Deal?"

STEVE:   I’ve noticed that if I say: “Jason, it’s time for bed” he might flip out.  But if I say: “in two minutes it will be bedtime” he has time to make whatever internal shifts he needs, and can adjust far more easily.   “Stop now” produces no results.  “I will count to three…” is about ten times as effective.  Why?  Not sure.  But it works, and that’s all that really matters.

FB:  And I actually felt "him" acquiesce. It felt like I was at peace with this decision, instead of fearful like before. I didn't think much about it during September 2007, except to occasionally remind my inner kid when I lit up that we had a deal. And then the 1st came. And that was that. Never looked back. Very little withdrawal issues. Very little urge for a few weeks I guess and then none.That's it in a nutshell.”
###

Again, this is a lovely adaptation of the “Parts Party” theory of internal communication.  Version of this can be found in every meditative discipline I’ve experienced, many psychotherapeutic models, and in the spontaneously devised methods of successful people—when they can describe their internal process.  I strongly suspect that even people who CANNOT describe those internal processes are doing something similar.

Much, much to study and extract here!

Steve

Diamond Hour today. Call for questions!

I'm hoping you'll join me today on the Diamond Hour.
I'll be making the first public presentation of the
"Ancient Child" meditation, and addressing questions
of applying it to emotional issues, physical performance,
stress, goal setting, enhancing intuition, writer's block...the entire spectrum.
It is important to me that this fantastic technique, which
can be accessed in as little as sixty seconds a day, be available
to anyone and everyone. Please join us...and if you can't, please
ask for a specific application in your life, or the life of someone
you love, and I will gladly answer if possible.

The "Ancient Child" technique is not a miracle. YOU are
the miracle. The Ancient Child is just a mirror in which to
discover that truth.

Diamond Hour February show. - Saturday,
 February 16, 2013, 1:00 PM
Pacific Standard time (4:00 PM Eastern)
http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/77111
Connect via phone or VoIP (Skype, etc.)
(724) 444-7444

Request for Requests!

Tomorrow, I'm doing the Diamond Hour show I missed doing last Saturday. The "Ancient Child" meditation is an approach to the meditative systems I've studied for the last thirty five years or so. There is a unity between the internal spaces navigated by zen, yoga, Tai Chi, self-hypnosis, Transcultural Shamanism, Sweet Medicine, Flow State Management, NLP, and more. There really is, and all I've done is looked into the overlap. Amazing knowledge in these disciplines. What have the aspects of this technique been applied to?
1) Releasing Fear, anger, grief
2) Goal setting
3) Finding love
4) Healing childhood trauma
5) Stop smoking
6) Stress reduction
7) Increasing energy
8) Problem solving
9) Writer's block
10) Weight loss

And much more. My friends, students and clients have been using aspects of this for over twenty years. Tomorrow, I want to go "live" and discuss specific applications BUT I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT. The audio will be available later very inexpensively--or free to those in financial need. Please help me create something special. What do you want? The "Ancient Child" is not some kind of miracle. YOU are the miracle. The Ancient Child just helps you understand how miraculous you really are.

Diamond Hour February show. - Saturday, February 16, 2013, 1:00 PM Pacific Standard time (4:00 PM Eastern)
http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/77111
Connect via phone or VoIP (Skype, etc.)
(724) 444-7444

Diamond Hour/Ancient Child on Saturday!

We had technical problems last Saturday.  Let's try this again!   We'll discuss the Ancient Child meditation, and it's application to creativity, stress, self-healing, goal setting...everything.

Diamond Hour February show. - Saturday, February 16, 2013, 1:00 PM Pacific Standard time (4:00 PM Eastern)

http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/77111

Connect via phone or VoIP (Skype, etc.)

(724) 444-7444

Living the Ancient Child

I've finished basic recording for the
 Ancient Child meditation, and it
will be available the minute I have
the chance to edit. But meanwhile,
 I wanted to give away as much of
 it as I possibly can. After laying
down the basic structure, I decided
to use a non-linear approach to
unifying the inner and outer worlds.

To align your goals, actions, emotions,
values, beliefs, resources and emotions
 creates a kind of power most people
 have never experienced, and I
want that very attainable reality
to be available to each and every
one of you.

So...the purpose of the Ancient
 Child is to specifically concentrate
 on aligning your passion and your
 deepest values and core principles.
When you measure your day-to-day
 actions as if you are walking a
path between birth and death,
with BOTH your childhood
 dreams and death-bed values
alive in every action, every word...
we begin to align that internal
world. It is key to the "I.D.E.A."
concept, becoming a "human
laser" in the sense that your
brakes are off, you can go full
 steam ahead, running "downhill"
with no fear of tripping and falling.
So to do this, you begin by playing
 a game of "Twenty Questions."
   There is nothing special about
 any single question, but they
 have been chosen quite carefully
 and deliberately, and together
they link together your inner
world in a unique way.

So...here we go. The "Twenty
 Questions" are to be used this way:

1) Select a goal that will transform
 your life for the better.
2) Use a journal, and write your
 answer to the question(s).
3) Then...visualize your child
 self. Ask HIM (or her) the
 same question concerning your intent.
Note: is there a difference between
 what you say, and what your "child" says?
4) Then...visualize your Elder
self, beyond ego and ambition,
 clear on the meaning of your
life whether YOU understand
 it currently or not. Ask HIM
 the same question. Note: is
there a difference between
what you say, and what your
 "Elder" said? How about
between "child" and "elder"?

5) Get out of the way, and
allow "Child" and "Elder"
to speak together of these
things. Stay out of the
discussion as much as
possible. Write down as
 much as you can.

6) BONUS: Bring an appropriate
 role model into the discussion,
implanting at the appropriate
Chakra (for instance: if your goal
is to find a Soul Mate, find a role
 model who has been happily
 married long enough to enjoy
 their grandchildren together.
Visualize this person in your
 heart-space) and let them take
 part in the discussion. Record
the results.

7) ADVANCED BONUS: Visualize
 yourself in your inner mirror.
Transform your gender--flow from
male to female, or female to male.
 See yourself as you would have
been, if born into the different
gender energy. Ask your questions.
 Repeat with your child self. Repeat
with your elder self

Get it?

Now...here's your first question:
1) a) If you go full-tilt boogie
 toward your goal, what is the
 worst that could happen?
b) Exactly how do you know
what you think you know
about this situation?
c) How do you know you are
 correct? What is your
error-checking procedure here?


Oops. Is that four questions?
Maybe. But they all relate to a
single issue. Ask them of your
intention, and get commentary
 from your conscious mind,
 your child and elder selves.
If necessary, write their answers
 with your non-dominant hand.

Get ready for a bit of magic.

Steve

No "Side Effects"!

I just saw Steven Soderburgh's new film "Side Effects", which is terrific. On one level it is a psychological thriller about a woman dealing with depression, her husband's return from prison, and a maze of pharmacology. On another, it is an expose on the way our culture is becoming more and more dependent on these drugs...and vulnerable to their side effects.

Now, I'm not knocking the use of these substances if they are really necessary for our survival and welfare. I believe in having a powerful resource circle of experts, and our emotional health should be near the top of the list. But I also believe in not taking chemical intervention unless and until you have tried every natural way of raising our energy, clarifying our mood and living a life of joy and contribution.

So...if you are dealing with depression and stress, allow me to offer a few suggestions (and if you are under a doctor's care, please don't disregard their instructions!) that have no negative "side effects" at all...

1) Breathing 5X a day. Just taking five sixty-second "breathing breaks" during the day (one every three hours) can change your life.

2) Are your actions in alignment with your values? If any major aspect of your life: career, relationships, etc., are wildly out of synch with your deepest values, it will tear a hole in your heart. Find a way to bridget this gap.

3) Do you feel more pain than pleasure in connection with your actions and circumstances? Some part of you perceives threat in that arena. Anger and guilt are just sneaky versions of fear.

4) Do you move every day in a way that reminds you of your health, energy, and aliveness? It could be a brisk walk. Dancing. Yoga. Martial arts. But the fastest way to "reset" your emotions is to move in a new way. Get up RIGHT NOW, put on a favorite song and shake your booty. Breathe smoothly and stay WITHIN the flow of your breathing. Dance in slow motion if you have any physical limitations, but MOVE.

When you stop moving, you start dying.

5) Get hugs. Physical contact. We are herd beasts. We came to life within a living body, and would have died in infancy without contact. We are PROGRAMMED to need touch. Find a way to get a dozen hugs a day from people who respect, honor and love you.

6) If you don't have such connection (or even if you do) spend 15-20 minutes a day listening to (feeling for) your own heartbeat.

7) Write out the emotions that arise when you practice any of these great techniques.

The "Ancient Child" meditation is coming very soon, and it will be the biggest bargain you've ever seen (or FREE!). But I didn't want to wait to offer you hope.

Make TODAY a masterpiece!
Steve
www.diamondhour.com

"Side Effects" (2013)

"Side Effects" (2013)

From time to time you see a movie you don't want to review, because the less the audience knows about it, the more they'll enjoy it. Let's just say that "Side Effects", said to be director Steven Soderbergh's last film, is one of those movies. And that I think it's safe to discuss the first five minutes of the movie, and after that you're pretty much on your own.

Rooney Mara ("Girl With The Dragon Tattoo") is an emotionally fragile woman whose husband, (Channing Tatum) is just finishing a three-year stretch for insider trading. She seeks help for her bouts of depression from psychologist Jude Law, just as she did earlier from psychologist Catherine Zeta Jones.

Let's just say that all is not what it seems. Lying, cheating, suicide and corruption become topics of conversation.

I can tell you the performances are impeccable, the writing tight, and the suspenseful movie that emerges from this basic set-up is a twisty meditation on our growing chemical dependence, the industry that supports it, and the...oh, the heck with it. Just see it.

If this really is Soderbergh's last movie, he went out on a high note indeed. An "A."
####

Hero's Journey view: 
Hero Confronted With Challenge:  Sorry, I don't even want to give away THAT much!

Sex and consciousness

I just received a note from a lady in Canada who enjoyed some of my writings on consciousness, worldly action, and in this case, sexuality.  She is connected with a group that walks that path, and invited me to come and speak to her folks.  That might happen: we'll see.    She also very politely indicated that some of my teachers are or were...controversial.   Wow.  THAT'S news.  Show me a great teacher who ISN'T!   I wrote out an answer to some explicit and implied questions, and thought that it might be of interest.  Identifications redacted as usual...

###########

Hi, T.  Thanks for the note.  XXXX XXXX   is only SLIGHTLY provocative?    Hah!   Boy, would he be disappointed to hear THAT.  He's a trip to say the least, and one of my favorite people...but most certainly not to every taste.   I seem to have developed the ability to extract meaning and value from odd situations without being much influenced by the...provocative aspects.    Nicely languaged, there.
##
My primary connection to the little energy dance called reality is through the martial arts, my primary body-mind discipline.   Writing certainly accesses flow state, focus, creativity and deep empathy, but the physicality is kinda weak.  The world of relationships is closer, but the emotional component can be very confusing--it is easy for people to lose themselves in the complex dance of children, career, commitments and so forth.    Here, I have to admit that I enjoy Anthony Demello's question: "would you want me to love you at the cost of my own happiness?"

Unfortunately, too many people would answer "yes" and you'd best believe they will act upon it.   Your salvation is to be extraordinarily clear on what you want in life, and who you are.   And while much of this can be complicated, if you hold onto one arena where you have clarity, you can find your way through the maze.

Sexuality is one of these arenas--we love powerful, healing, shattering orgasms.  Yum.  The only thing more basic in life is survival itself.   My own breakthrough came from realizing that the intrinsic energies of Tai Chi or Aikido, the deep flow states I'd accessed in writing, and the deep burning calm of the run-up to an intense orgasm bore similarities both qualitative and quantitative, and that the sacred texts spoke of in certain deep meditations.    It was the same energy, manifesting on different levels.  And it flows between the youngest nascent self and the oldest, wisest "elder" who is beyond ego and self-deception.

The trick is to ride the "wave" of creative energy that surges through our lives, live as close to it as possible, "surf" it to destinations in alignment with our deepest values and beliefs.    Sex binds us to others and opens the doors of our own perception.   It can of course be deceptive--great sex feels like love, and the immature can be quite confused by the similarity.  But it is one of the most basic forms of life energy, something separate from any specific application of that energy.

What I suggest is that our sexual contracts be in alignment with 1)   the youngest self (are our partners respectful?  Supportive?  To the reflection they offer suggest we are on the right path?   There is little more disturbing to people than the notion that we attract what we are--but that butt-kicking reality opens the potential for us to take control of our lives in an extraordinary manner).   2) We have to align our sexual nature with the OLDEST self we can access.  Our "deathbed" self.   Are our sexual actions in alignment with our deepest values?  Honesty?  Compassion?  Self-expression?  Are we being true to our deep selves, or sacrificing our true in exchange for a little intimacy?

If either the youngest and eldest selves are discontent, there is work to do.  Aligning values, or changing actions.   But once you have that alignment, you have real energy.

The reason is that matter and energy are different forms of the same thing, and you can fiddle with the entire system by getting ahold of either end.    All the external things in life can be judged by their ability to raise and coordinate energy and pleasure in life.  And sexual energy can be a direct connection to intuition, motivation, creativity, partnering...flow state, ego dissolution...my, it does go on and on.

Parallel lines meet somewhere in infinity.   And all valid paths of self discovery converge as well.  The lovely thing is that, if you work long and hard enough, you begin to see how the whole thing fits together, even if the language to express it escapes you. The lovely thing about including sexuality in your personal work is that, beyond being efficient and effective...it is such delicious fun.

I wish you all the luck in the world in your journey, and thank you for reaching out to me.  If it is appropriate to both our paths, I'm sure we'll meet. That would be terrific.

Namaste,
Steve

"Machine" and "Ancient Child"

My "machine" is cooking along right now. Three books in active creation, proposals for three more, three different movies (a full script and two proposed adaptations) with the producer. 2013 is looking good.

What makes it possible to juggle such things? For me it is daily ritual. Just what I do day after day, whether I'm "up" or "down" or "sideways" (you've had those days...)

To do this, I use two things, the "machine" (the specific input-output equation for my chosen activities. For writing this is writing 1000 words a day, reading 10,000 words a day) and the "Ancient Child" meditation form, crafted from forty years of active meditation practice, culled from a variety of traditions which all addressed the same "mountain" even if they used different paths and different terminology.

When you create the rituals that enable you to move forward consistently, slowly and steadily improving...wonderful things happen. Once you have that, life gets simple. Intense, but simple.

Join me tomorrow on the Diamond Hour as I detail the "Ancient Child" technique.
Saturday, February 9, 2013, 1:00 PM Pacific Standard time (4:00 PM Eastern)
http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/77111
Connect via phone or VoIP (Skype, etc.)
(724) 444-7444

"John Dies At the End" (2012)

 

"John Dies At the End" (2012)

One reviewer said that this is a movie so twisted and knotted and surreal that she isn't sure whether the title is true or not. If you dig Cronenburg or Harlan Ellison, chances are very good that this won't bother you a bit.

"John Dies At the End", the latest film from "Phantasm" and "Bubbah Ho Tep" director Don Coscarelli, is a warped tale of a man named Dave (Chase Williamson) who is introduced to a very odd drug called "soy sauce" by a guy named John. To say more wouldn't be fair. It would also require watching the movie again, because I frankly had to absorb it as a series of independent mind-bending scenes as Williamson narrates his bizarre, apocalyptic tale to a reporter (Paul Giamatti, having great fun).

Look, if I suggest that this is exactly the kind of movie you'd expect a roomful of stoners to orgasm over, that would probably be accurate. I'm not sure what else is, however. If you like innovative low-budget monster films, sly and subversive humor, Trauma-style effects and actors clearly enjoying working with a rather legendary B-movie director delivering a creepy, smart, entertaining creature feature...see "John Dies At The End." You could do a LOT worse. I'd give it a B+, but then I'm sick.

And oh, trying to apply the Hero's Journey to this would require watching it a couple more times to sort it out. Also, it's too recent. That said, Dave is confronted with the challenge of sorting out what is going on, and what has happened to him. He rejects that challenge initially because it demands that he discard everything he thinks he knows about reality, as well as abandoning all hope. But forced to confront him because...ummm...let's just say it gets personal. And after that, you're on your own.


Steve

Healing Ourselves

I love Facebook. Such interesting conversations, if you scan carefully. For instance, I published the following comment:

"There are two basic ways to evolve your life. Either change the way you use your body: posture, breathing, motion, composition. Or resolve the conflict in your heart. Success in either is mirrored in the other. In this arena, the conscious mind is mostly useful to help accomplish one of these two. And unless these evolve, you have not changed."

A reader posted the following:

"I'm counseling a college student about dealing with her emotionally abusive, Taliban-level controlling parents. After long encouragement from me, she has started to regularly just sit with herself, breathing and observing thoughts (as a precursor to true meditation practice). She said last night that she just realized that every move/conversation she has made in her life (24 years) has been focused on dealing with how they will act to block her if she dares step even the littlest bit out of their control. Her seed of core strength is forming, from the small act of sitting. I hope she can escape safely, but at least she now sees that she can empower *herself* to work towards the Light."

I love this. Good, solid generative work. And replied as followed:

Dear XXX--sounds like she found a good mentor in you. May I suggest some manner of "inner child" work--she needs to re-parent herself with deep, unquestioning, non-conditional love. If she can be the "mother" to her own "child" she can sort of "wire around" the damage from her parents, and recover her power.
###

The capacity to heal ourselves, to align our dreams, values, emotions and actions, and to access our deepest intuition lies within you, within each of us. I am so grateful to my teachers over the decades, who led me to that light. The "Ancient Child" meditation is my humble effort to take the cream of this teaching and present it in a linear, incremental fashion. Please join us Saturday on the Diamond Hour, where I will address origins, methods, and applications.

Diamond Hour February show. - Saturday, February 9, 2013, 1:00 PM Pacific Standard time (4:00 PM Eastern)
http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/77111
Connect via phone or VoIP (Skype, etc.)
(724) 444-7444


Be the Hero in the adventure of your lifetime!
Steve

All paths lead home

Diamond Hour February show. -
Saturday, February 9, 2013,
1:00 PM Pacific Standard time (4:00 PM Eastern)
http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/77111
Connect via phone or VoIP (Skype, etc.)
(724) 444-7444

We'll be dealing with practical and esoteric applications of the "Ancient Child" meditation form
#####

"You have the right to your actions, but not to their fruits. Act without any thought of results. It is the only path to serenity."--the Bhagavad Gita

That is a hugely elevated perspective. For most, it is better to begin in a perspective grounded in worldly balance, which (for most of us) requires goals. Once our values, beliefs and emotions are integrated, goals can be disposed of--we naturally do our duties in life, and the very doing of them brings health and joy. But most times must be "grown through", not evaded or skipped over. If you don't have these worldly aspects mastered, you do yourself little favor to try to jump to a purely spiritual realm. I've seen as much damage done in such a way as I have watching people addicted to drugs or sex. It is a dream of evolution, rather than the path itself.

##

My work-flow between my Ipad and desk-top is still not ideal. Since there's no Scrivener for Ipad, I have to take relatively clumsy steps to email text, or send it from one program to another. This isn't ideal because it takes me out of flow, and flow is where all the artistic elegance originates. But...it's still enormously productive. Just need to use a bit more "adult" Steve than I really want to use.
##
Now, then...what do these two things have to do with each other? If it isn't clear, it is that I see my worldly tasks as gifts to my spiritual self. If you don't have such an intent, you can take advantage of this "mental streamline" technique, simply identify whatever YOUR highest value is in life. Family? Growth? Pleasure? Service?

Once you've identified it, look at your top four goals (body, career, relationship, and finances) and create 3-10 reasons that your actions will contribute and support your deepest loves. Describe this in such a way that your daily goal actions are empowered. Every word you write, every rep of exercise, every day you help your kids with their homework, every day on the job...EVERYTHING you do takes you closer to your core self. This is magic, on an individual level.

Submitted for your approval...
Steve
www.diamondhour.com

A letter today

Just got this today. Notes like this NEVER get old (name redacted to protect privacy, but yes, his name is Barnes!)
###########################
XXXX X. Barnes

Mr. Barnes,

As I am sitting here in my new digs in Beverly Hills, I took a moment to reflect back on the journey that has gotten me here.

When I was just a kid (about 11), I was dealing with a very rough childhood and life was not that great. I was a social outcast, abused, and had a very profound speech impediment (stutter).

So one day I was walking past a library in Washington DC and decided to go in to get away from the drug dealers that typical harassed me on my way home from school. I began looking thru the paperbacks on the shelves. I wasn't very interested in reading and my family didn't really encourage it. But I came across your book Street Lethal and saw that it was about a black man. And then I got a little happy because it was written by someone who had my same last name.

I sat down and began reading. I lost track of time as I BECAME Aubry Knight. I sat there so long reading that the librarian had to kick me out at closing time. She was nice enough to let me take the book home even though I didn't have a library card.

That day I became the definition of a voracious reader. I got a library card and would take home 15 - 20 books a week. All different topics, different genres, hundreds of authors. I read constantly to escape the hell that was my life. My grades went from failing to straight A's, due to my expanding vocabulary and the fire that was lit in my mind.

I also began training in the martial arts and improving myself physically. I became more confident which began to help me control my stuttering.

Anyway... Fast forward to the present and I now live in LA and have begun a journey in the entertainment industry for the last 3 years. I am in post production on my second feature film which I wrote and directed.

I wanted to take a moment to thank you, my brother. Your work changed the life of another potential statistic. My love of the written word has changed me and the ability to read and to write has opened up new worlds which a little scrawny kid from DC could never had imagined if it had not been for your books.

To this day I the Aubry Knight series is still my favorite.

Thank you for doing what you do. You changed my life!

One Love,

XXXXX X. Barnes

Writer/Producer/Director/Fan
########
Steve back now.  Whew.   I had to wipe away a tear.   Listen, people, NEVER underestimate the power of your dreams.  Never give up on them.  And understand that every action you take ripples out into the universe endlessly.   

submitted for your approval,
Steve

Building a Perfect Life

There is a child within us, just as there is an ancient who understands the meaning of life and death. The child holds your passion and creativity, but it also seeks approval. Choose those people whose approval gives you pain and pleasure VERY carefully. Those choices will determine the quality of your life.

Three things to pay attention to, with infinite depth once you understand the implications: your "child self" in the past, your "inner elder" in your future, and the YOU who exists now. Everything you want can be found in the interactions of these three. Everything you could ever want to learn about success and consciousness can be found here. A beautiful visualization.

Here's a brief exercise to demonstrate how this works. Say you have a job opportunity coming up, and want to be your best. Ask yourself a few questions.

CHILD
1) Is there an element of fun connected with this job? Something you would have enjoyed as a child?
2) Is there an aspect of this work that makes the world a safer, better place for children?

ELDER
1) Is this job providing goods and services that make the world a better place, according to your values?
2) Can you find a way to make a personal contribution, or find self-expression, through this work?

ADULT
1) Will this job enable you to care for your obligations in a moral and ethical fashion?
2) Will this job or career enable you to afford time and energy to do something that you DO love?
3) Will this job or career help you "play for position" by giving you skills, contacts, or experience you can parlay into a more suitable position in the future?

See how this works? Any of these reasons will motivate you to shine at your interview. But when you can align your childhood enthusiasms, adult responsibilities and mature understanding of the critical importance of dancing without fear, and living for the larger context...Something special happens.

And when you can set it up so that body, mind, and relationships all support each other, and all relate to what your child, adult, and elder "aspects" need and understand, you have taken your brakes off. Can act spontaneously and still perform at your highest levels. That is a miracle each of us can actually experience in life, one I wish for each and every one of you.


Namaste,
Steve
www.diamondhour.com

OMG. A clean, funny joke.

Lost in a bad part of town, a turtle was set upon by a gang of snails and mugged. The police took the report, and quizzed the poor creature, trying to get better descriptions.
"What happened?" they asked.
The turtle shook his head in confusion.
"I don't know, officer," he said. "It all happened so fast."

Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

After spending time in a mental institution, former teacher Pat Solitano ("Bradly Cooper) moves back in with his parents (Robert Di Niro and Jackie Weaver) and tries to reconcile with his ex-wife. Things get more challenging when Pat meets Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence) , a mysterious girl with problems of her own.

The coming attractions told me nothing useful about this movie, almost as if the studio was worried about it finding an audience. I knew Chris Tucker had decided to do something other than collect "Rush Hour" residuals, and that Di Niro actually seemed to be acting, but other than that...not much.

When I finally sat down and watched it, I was reminded of Lawrence Olivier's "Love Among The Ruins" in the sense that it is a story about two damaged human beings doing the porcupine mating dance--backing together very very carefully. Cooper was destroyed by his wife's cheating, is a twitchy, dysfunctional mess who believes he can hold himself together and hopefully reunite with his wife if he can seek out life's "silver linings." A dose of reality comes his way in the person of Jennifer Lawrence, a young woman just as damaged...but with her wounds in different parts of her personality.

She promises to help him reconnect with his wife (there is a restraining order) if he helps her compete in a dance contest. In and around this slender plot thread is Di Niro's obsession with football betting, and Chris Tucker's refusal to allow the mental institution to define him. The acting is wonderful across the board, and ultimately, by being specific enough about a particular difficult and fragile relationship, Silver Linings Playbook becomes about all of us, in our wounds and hopes and self delusion. And...astonishing capacity to stand up and reach out, again and again, despite the endless blows we suffer. To have faith that dawn will come, even in the midst of the darkest night. I was asked if I could recommend a "chick flick" for a reader, and if that term denotes a film held together more by dialog and emotions than plot twists and explosions, SLP over-qualifies. And it is enjoyable top to bottom. And yes, Di Niro is better than I've seen him in years. A "B+".
###
WARNING: SPOILERS
Hero's Journey analysis:
1) Hero Confronted with challenge: Released from a mental institution, Pat Solitano attempts to re-integrate his life.
2) Rejection of challenge: but he cannot do this without resolving his relationship with the wife who betrayed him. But little does he know that
3) Accepts Challenge: Tiffany, a young woman as damaged as he, is determined to drag him kicking and screaming back into life, by fair means or foul.
4) Road of Trials: he tries to get his job back. To heal his relationship with his family. To contact his wife. To lose weight and balance himself with exercise.
5) Allies and Powers: his family, nutballs though they are. His friend Danny (Chris Tucker), Tiffany, even his image of his wife. He has intelligence, passion, hope, resilience, a sense of humor...and finally, not a bad set of dancing skills.
6) Confront Evil-Defeat. That would be telling.
7) Dark Night of the Soul. His failure will mean devastation for his family. He has to take a certain very uncomfortable set of actions, for all the marbles.
8) Leap of Faith. In his own capacities, but more than that, in Tiffany.
9) Confront Evil--victory. He definitely has his moment, in which his choices determine the future path of his life.
10) The Student Becomes the Teacher--he is able to finally reach back honestly to someone who has emptied herself out trying to help him, touch him. Love him.

I saw myself a dozen times in this film. And if that isn't a measure of quality, I don't know what is.

Submitted for your approval...
Steve
www.diamondhour.com
 

The Five Questions

Who, Why, How, When, Where?

Everyone who ever took a journalism class (or saw a movie about journalism) has heard these: the basic information necessary to write a story. Since the "Lifewriting" method asks us to write our own Future History in advance, it is valuable to ask: do you know these five questions about each goal in your life?

1) WHAT: Have at least one goal in each of your four major life areas: body, mind, relationships and finances. Specificity has power. The goal should be photographable, tangible. In other words, if you say "improve my relationship" that is mushy. Say "have a second honeymoon in Maui" and suddenly you have specificity. But in brainstorming, prepare to be flexible: "you can have anything you want if you let go of how it's supposed to look." No, you can't flap your wings and fly off the edge of a building...unless you have a hang-glider.

2) WHY: You need reasons. Whenever people fail to reach a goal, or are lost in a position of poor fitness or sloppy finances, invariably their reasons for achievement are weak. They may have one or two thin motivations, but nothing to keep them going through the Dark Night of the Soul. And there WILL be a dark night of the soul, absolutely. It is idiocy not to anticipate the @#$$ hitting the fan, when you've seen it countless times in your own personal history. If you have 2 or three reasons, you'll fail. If you have 20 or 30 reasons, so powerful that when you read them you feel your juices rising, NOW you have leverage.

3) WHERE: Where do you have to go to get the resources you will need to bridge the gap between where you are and where you need to be?

4) WHO: Who are the allies and role models you need to achieve your goal? The safest bet is that IF YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT, YOU CAN'T DO IT WITH YOUR CURRENT RESOURCES. You will need to grow, and change. Change believes and re-organize values to reflect your current life and vision of the future. You will need help. The "Mastermind" technique is the ONLY known way to compensate for lack of talent or even intelligence. It demands that you bond yourself to people with the skills you don't have. How? Here's a hint: smart people need friends too. Offer genuine loyalty, honesty, open-hearted support in exchange for advice and support. Offer value in exchange for value. And keep asking until you find someone to say "yes."

5) WHEN: A goal without a deadline is just a pipe dream. You need to know when this seismic shift in your existence will take place. A date. And by studying role models who have accomplished similar goals you will gain the perspective needed to Time-bind your intentions. "There are no unreasonable goals, only unreasonable time frames." People who want to lose five pounds a week are probably going to fail, or get sick. One pound a week is perfectly doable.

Who, what, where, why, when. Write the story of YOUR life. Be the Hero in the Adventure of your lifetime!

Submitted for your approval...
Steve
www.diamondhour.com

1000 Words A Day

My 2013 plan is to catch up on my book backlog--I have about six of 'em stacked up in my head, and it's crowded in there. To deal with this, I've looked more carefully at what I call "The Machine"--the work-flow leading to finished, published product. Basically:
1) Write
2) Read 10X as much as you write
3) Finish and polish.

I asked myself: how much do I need to write to dig my way out of this hole in, say three years? Without overwhelm or burnout? If there are three different basic components of producing work (as opposed to marketing it, for instance) then research and planning, free reading, rough draft production and re-writing do seem to be the most essential steps. And the pinch point would seem to be the production of new text. Set this number too low (or let the work be intermittent) and there is insufficient production to reach goals, as well as lack of developing the specific "muscles" of production.

If I have to create 1000 words a day, that means reading 10k a day of various fiction and non-fiction works to "feed" my unconscious. It also means that I need to re-write at least every other day. Re-writing occurs at a MUCH faster pace than creation of original rough text, so every other day works fine. That first draft stuff needs to be worked every day optimally, sort of like stretching to keep muscles loose. Or dredging sludge out of a feeder stream.

So the morning schedule is: Up at 5: 45, meditate. Out of bed by 6am, drink my tea and do something kinda no-brainer, like look over emails and check Facebook. See if there's a morning essay (like this one) that begs to be written. Jason's morning ritual starts by 7 am. Afterwards, I have maybe thirty minutes to work out or relax, and then by 8 I have to start on my 1000 words.

This can be production of book text, creation of script (about 5 pages) or conversion of script to book text. Any of these fit the bill. Then a break (if I'm tired, this is a good time for a nap) work out, or begin morning reading. This is Aristotle and Shakespeare (that complete BBC Bard is just phenomenal).

Then...the rest of the day is polishing the text from previous days, and, most importantly, preparing for tomorrow's 1000 words. What do I need to know? What is happening next? What do my characters want? How will their world respond? What themes do I seek to explore? I research, think, plot and plan and even go to bed with such questions in my mind, allowing my "dream time" to work on the problem.

And in the morning? A thousand words feels insufficient. I have enough works and images in my mind to create maybe two thousand words, which makes 1k child's play. I don't create more than that, because testing has suggest that, over time, it can lead to burn-out. And I won't have as much time for re-writing, polishing, and researching. It feels like stress, but not strain.

And stress without strain is what triggers positive growth. I'm enjoying this program, and six months from now, if I've finished two more books, I'll let you know.


Submitted for your approval...
Steve

Musashi's Writing Advice

###

There is a relatively simple reason why I have focused upon The Hero's Journey and the yogic Chakras to both represent my reality and as a writing tool.

1) There are two things to write about: what is the world, and who are the human beings who inhabit it? These two tools describe the path of internal and external knowledge.

2) These, unlike almost any other writing tools I know of, describe both the writing and the writer. Therefore, any work I do on my writing teaches me about myself. Anything I do to improve myself also improves my writing.

3) Once you've accepted that the model is not the thing itself, you are free to enjoy a miracle. If you combine these two models, you have wrapped your mind around at least six thousand years of world wisdom about the path of life, and the nature of our experienced reality. It is like glimpsing the arc of a dynamic sphere of life, a construct larger than any conscious mind can grasp...but capable of intuitive navigation.

This is how you know you've reached this place: given any character, a story automatically suggests itself. Given any story situation, a character automatically suggests herself. You "see" and "feel" the connection between them.

4) To access intuition, the component skills of an activity must be absorbed at the level of unconscious competence. This means that you must reduce the basics to a finite set of components, and practice them until they are on "autopilot."

I know of no more effective way to create this internal intuitive wisdom than having your writing approach overlap with your life approach. As Musashi said, "let your combat stance be your everyday stance. And your everyday stance be your combat stance."

Write with passion!
Steve

"You can't know that!"

I was teaching Tai Chi at Arisia science fiction convention, and a lady mentioned that she had struggled with anorexia. I suggested to her that she might want to perform a meditation to make contact with the child part of herself, someone younger than any damage or discomfort life had given her, that that part of her probably had some interesting things to communicate. After the class, a gentleman approached me and said that I shouldn't have said that. That he has been in therapy for years, and that it is impossible to know enough about someone in a moment to make a call like that.

My reply is that there are certain knowings that exist in time, and others that take place in a moment. That certain types of information are available instantly to us, if our eyes are open. The most important determinant is that we are honest with ourselves about how we came to where we are in life, the decisions we have made, and the prices we have paid.

At the core of what we are as human beings, there isn't tremendous difference. I love the analogy that suggests we're much like mushrooms--apparently individuals on the surface, but look deeper and we see these apparent "individuals" are part of a larger mycelial mass beneath. Go deeply enough into your individual reality, and you emerge at the universal. I've never gotten into trouble assuming others are like me. The only difficulties I've encountered over my life have occurred when I assumed others are different.

The second thing he didn't understand is that I'm not a therapist. I'm a coach. the difference is that I have no idea at all of the specifics that this lady has been through. But I know what a healthy human being is, and what the journey is. It is like meeting someone trying to climb Mt Everest. I don't know the path that they have covered to get to base camp. But I can point in the direction of the peak.

That's all I did. I know that a healthy human being, self actualizing, has a healthy balance between the different aspects of their personality. One way to represent this is to speak of "child" and "elder" aspects. There is no downside in what I suggested:

1) Visualize the child self. Find a representation that is young enough to have avoided whatever damage has occurred in life, even if it is an embryo. A single cell. An image of light, prior to your current "incarnation." Whatever works.

2) Become quiet enough to allow that part to communicate with you.

This isn't therapy. I always suggest that my students work with their personal wellness team. Many times, I have worked with their therapists, if they give me permission to contact them. What I'm doing is similar to a geometry student who can be given three points, and from that extrapolate the rest of a circle. It is a matter of keeping my eyes on what the full arc and expression of our humanity is, and believing it is within our capacity to reach it.

He walked away unconvinced. But the lady in question approached me after class...and thanked me. And that, for me, is the only standard that matters.


Namaste,
Steve

Fake It Til You Make It?

"Another thing you can do is to think o fa time when you had a most sublime meditation and consciously dive deep into that experience. Think of its essence--how you were thrilled, how you were jumping with delight. At first you will just be imagining the experience, because you are not actually having that meditation. But if you enter into that world of imagination and stay there for ten or fifteen minutes, power will automatically enter into your meditation and it will bear fruit. Then it will not be imagination at all; you will actually be deep in the world of meditation."
--Sri Chinmoy, MEDITATION

I was actually surprised to come across this passage, even though I've re-read this particular book so often it is falling apart. Strange...I can only attribute this to the fact that our minds have an easier time absorbing different informations at different times, and now, this moment, was the first time I was prepared to actually hear it.

"Fake it 'til you make it" is a well known philosophy. ACT as if you have confidence, and you will. Do the things a courageous person does, and you will be what people consider courageous. Then, of course, you will discover what courageous people have known forever: that the internal state people call "courage" is often one of confusion and fear...but if the external aspects of calm voice and face and direct action dominate, guess what? It doesn't matter how you feel inside.

The same is true in many ways. Bravado, egotism, macho...there are many different terms that describe the adolescent forms of mature emotional states concerning "courage."

And in the realm of the spirit, "confidence" can be "faked" as well. In fact, "faith" as defined as "evidence of things unseen" is all about this. A sense that different aspects of the universe connect in a way the conscious, intellectual mind cannot quite data-crunch. That it makes most sense to you if you expand your definitions of "life" or "consciousness" so that the planet or the universe is a dynamic pattern that seems to behave as if it had what we consider will and ethical structure.

Or to take a further step, and believe (without evidence) that there actually is a living force, a being, that can be described in quasi-human terms, watching over us.

Or that the flows of nature best reveal their currents if we surrender the ego of individual identity and seek to feel the pull of existential wind and tide.

Or...

There are so many approaches. All seek to answer the question "how shall we live?" together and singly. All seek to align us with nature, with other human beings, with our own drives, both animal, child and adult.

All concern the journey between birth and death. The idea of clarifying who and what you wish to be, being certain that the idealized form of this is pleasing to every aspect of your existence, and then dedicating yourself to this process, is a wise one. It is a very rare individual who can just "zen" his way from one event to another and not feel rootless and without purpose. For most of us, the creation of a meaningful life demands purpose. But attempting to "become" something we seem not to be quite reasonably triggers fear.

Anyone who knew me in my college days can tell you that any true confidence I had in my ability to be a professional writer was covered up in ego and bravado. That shell was critical to buffer myself against a nearly universal opinion that my goals and dreams were impossible.

Anyone who knew me in the early days of my martial training could tell you the way I struggled to find a part of myself strong enough to stand up to the warrior-energy surrounding me. My false identity couldn't handle it, and surrendering to my true self, capable of flowing into any natural role, felt like dying.

Anyone who knew me in my early dating days would know how astonished I was to discover a woman was attracted to me, and how pitifully grateful when she accepted me into her heart or bed.

The answer in all of these cases was...I pretended to be comfortable with the circumstance. Regardless of the inner storm, I maintained the best exterior I could, and soldiered on until, at some point, I was astonished to discover that the pretense had become the reality.

The same is true in the spiritual arena. The surrender of our false self can feel like dying. When meditating, often EVERYTHING else seems more urgent and important. The moments of peace and power can seem far and few between. Still...it is those moments, however few, that point the way.

If you can force yourself to meditate day after day, you will almost accidentally find a moment when everything "flows." Remember those moments, seek to replicate them without obsessing about it (just have fun!) and you will find them starting to multiply.

Remember--your ego identity is a construct. It is "fake" to begin with. It is no greater fiction to imagine your self both great, deep, and insignificant in the face of universal truth. Nothing greater than you. Nothing less than you. No "you" at all...and yet you are in the center of it all.

Resolving that apparent conundrum is one of the major tasks on the path. If it seems impossible, welll...

Yeah. You know.



Namaste,
Steve

Every word, every step, every breath

The mind can be trained to steadiness through those forms of concentration which have relation to the sense perception.--The Yoga Sutras of Patangali

In "unpacking" the core meditation I was given by my teacher, it impresses me that it meets the student wherever he or she is. Merely beginning to "sit" and quiet the mind opens the door.

Becoming familiar with the cacophony within, and accepting it with humor and persistence. Listening to the heartbeat, with gratitude for life. Finding the youngest part of yourself that you can contact, something living before the strain of life warped your dreams. Nurturing that self, so that it can release you into the progenitive, nascent energies.

Cleansing the levels of your existence. Anchoring to your elder self, beyond all need to strive or pretent, beyond shame or pride, and having the courage to ask "Who are you?" of a being about to shed the flesh.

Every step in this process is an endless journey, impossible for the time-bound aspect of mind to plumb. But persist, and you begin to step outside that self, into a different world that cannot be described. There is a purity to that new experience that will spread back into your "ordinary" life, but understand: there is no place to "get to." It is the work itself that opens the door. The "you" that seeks to complete the journey is not the part of yourself you will encounter along the path. Some of this may make sense, some not. But the effort itself, the daily emptying, re-commitment, humbling and exaltation will teach you what is real and what is not if you build upon that foundation, extend it out into your sensory world, test the quality of your perceptions by noting the results achieved in the external world. When the inner journey and the outer journey begin to align, there is both peace and power. You will know when you are "there" and when you are not. See the direction of the light and be able to re-orient. It is quite a journey, and everything you do and learn can and should be just another way of exploring its depths.

Start with the heartbeat, or the breath. Embrace love and gratitude. Re-connect with your dreams. Align them with your values. Examine every action and thought so that it expresses this core, personal truth.

There is a lifetime of work in just the tiny sliver of wisdom I was given, and I am so honored to share it. Our imperfections do not matter. Our actions and commitments are as critical as our next heartbeat.

Namaste,
Steve