The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Friday, January 03, 2014

Soulmate's Commandments #10: Thou Shalt Take Daily Action

10. Thou Shalt Take Daily Action To Become Thy Best and Truest Self.

And now we’ve come to the final dictate, the 10th statement in the Soulmate’s Ten Commandments.  Let’s take a look back at what we’ve done: clarified who we are and what we desire, committed to paying the price to be our true selves, demand that we settle for nothing less than a true expression of Self, and decide upon indirect action.  Now what there is is to find the flow within our lives, to spend our days being who and what we were born to be.    Finding a partner?   First find yourself.

Years ago, Tananarive went to a fortune teller on a lark.    She was told that she would find the love of her life AFTER she had evolved to the next level of excellence.  Specifically, after she had become a writer.  And so it happened.

One doesn’t need to be a fortune teller to know why this was excellent advice:

1) Even if she never met her future partner, she is engaging with life and fulfilling her dreams.

2) Being happy and engaged radiates positive “vibes”.   It makes us more attractive.

3) Writing exposes your name to the public.  People meet you, read you, and talk about you.  The name “Tananarive Due” was in the public consciousness, and a mutual fan eventually asked me if I’d heard of her.  In the same way, she watched one of my “Outer Limits” episodes and wanted to know who had written such a wierd, twisted, sick story.  Ahem.

4) Writers associate with other writers.  Eventually, our circles overlapped and we had the opportunity to meet, at a black SF conference in Atlanta.  The rest is pretty much history.

But if she had moped around waiting to meet someone…

If she hadn’t operated her life so that her actions and presentation revealed her values…

If she hadn’t been unwilling to “settle” in relationships with men who did not love her, cherish her and see her genius…

Both our lives would have been very different.  It takes courage and faith to walk alone in the world, while maintaining an open heart.  To keep faith that love is not only possible, but a natural consequence of living in a particular dynamic way.  To keep your eyes on the couples who commit for a lifetime, rather than the pity parties of men and women convinced that the opposite sex is worthless.

To see that, to a remarkable degree,  we create the world we experience.  What you do on a daily basis, and the way you do it, will determine who you are, and how the world sees you…and who you attract into your life.  Your emotions will determine what you are willing to accept. Your clarity will decide whether you can recognize what and who you are dealing with.

There you have it, in most basic form: The Soulmate Process.  It says that YOU are responsible for your relationship history, and that only you can change it.

The choice is yours.


1 comment:

Crystal said...

Thank you very much for this series of posts Steve. I read through the whole thing last Friday and on the way home I felt lighter/happier for no reason I could think of. Later that night it hit me. I had hope! I didn’t even know I was without it until I realized it was there. I could have a plan. And end up with someone. I didn’t even know I was looking. So thanks, I guess. We’ll see . . . to be continued.