The Home of Steven Barnes
Author, Teacher, Screenwriter

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Sex and consciousness

I just received a note from a lady in Canada who enjoyed some of my writings on consciousness, worldly action, and in this case, sexuality.  She is connected with a group that walks that path, and invited me to come and speak to her folks.  That might happen: we'll see.    She also very politely indicated that some of my teachers are or were...controversial.   Wow.  THAT'S news.  Show me a great teacher who ISN'T!   I wrote out an answer to some explicit and implied questions, and thought that it might be of interest.  Identifications redacted as usual...


Hi, T.  Thanks for the note.  XXXX XXXX   is only SLIGHTLY provocative?    Hah!   Boy, would he be disappointed to hear THAT.  He's a trip to say the least, and one of my favorite people...but most certainly not to every taste.   I seem to have developed the ability to extract meaning and value from odd situations without being much influenced by the...provocative aspects.    Nicely languaged, there.
My primary connection to the little energy dance called reality is through the martial arts, my primary body-mind discipline.   Writing certainly accesses flow state, focus, creativity and deep empathy, but the physicality is kinda weak.  The world of relationships is closer, but the emotional component can be very confusing--it is easy for people to lose themselves in the complex dance of children, career, commitments and so forth.    Here, I have to admit that I enjoy Anthony Demello's question: "would you want me to love you at the cost of my own happiness?"

Unfortunately, too many people would answer "yes" and you'd best believe they will act upon it.   Your salvation is to be extraordinarily clear on what you want in life, and who you are.   And while much of this can be complicated, if you hold onto one arena where you have clarity, you can find your way through the maze.

Sexuality is one of these arenas--we love powerful, healing, shattering orgasms.  Yum.  The only thing more basic in life is survival itself.   My own breakthrough came from realizing that the intrinsic energies of Tai Chi or Aikido, the deep flow states I'd accessed in writing, and the deep burning calm of the run-up to an intense orgasm bore similarities both qualitative and quantitative, and that the sacred texts spoke of in certain deep meditations.    It was the same energy, manifesting on different levels.  And it flows between the youngest nascent self and the oldest, wisest "elder" who is beyond ego and self-deception.

The trick is to ride the "wave" of creative energy that surges through our lives, live as close to it as possible, "surf" it to destinations in alignment with our deepest values and beliefs.    Sex binds us to others and opens the doors of our own perception.   It can of course be deceptive--great sex feels like love, and the immature can be quite confused by the similarity.  But it is one of the most basic forms of life energy, something separate from any specific application of that energy.

What I suggest is that our sexual contracts be in alignment with 1)   the youngest self (are our partners respectful?  Supportive?  To the reflection they offer suggest we are on the right path?   There is little more disturbing to people than the notion that we attract what we are--but that butt-kicking reality opens the potential for us to take control of our lives in an extraordinary manner).   2) We have to align our sexual nature with the OLDEST self we can access.  Our "deathbed" self.   Are our sexual actions in alignment with our deepest values?  Honesty?  Compassion?  Self-expression?  Are we being true to our deep selves, or sacrificing our true in exchange for a little intimacy?

If either the youngest and eldest selves are discontent, there is work to do.  Aligning values, or changing actions.   But once you have that alignment, you have real energy.

The reason is that matter and energy are different forms of the same thing, and you can fiddle with the entire system by getting ahold of either end.    All the external things in life can be judged by their ability to raise and coordinate energy and pleasure in life.  And sexual energy can be a direct connection to intuition, motivation, creativity, partnering...flow state, ego, it does go on and on.

Parallel lines meet somewhere in infinity.   And all valid paths of self discovery converge as well.  The lovely thing is that, if you work long and hard enough, you begin to see how the whole thing fits together, even if the language to express it escapes you. The lovely thing about including sexuality in your personal work is that, beyond being efficient and is such delicious fun.

I wish you all the luck in the world in your journey, and thank you for reaching out to me.  If it is appropriate to both our paths, I'm sure we'll meet. That would be terrific.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

no diamond hour saturday