Remakes versus Adaptations

Going to see "Black Dynamite" today. 85% on Rotten Tomatoes, starring Michael Jai White, the most legitimate action star America has right now (maybe Stallone?), and it can't get any traction at all. Opinions vary as to why. Yeah, right.

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You know, when I talk about the child part of our personalities, and how most of the reasons I hear for note spending an hour a week working on your weakest link sound like pure 5 year old ("I don't wanna!") I want to back up and assure you that my child self is the favorite part of my psyche. That little boy has done so much for me. He is so alive, and aware, and loving. So optimistic, and comfortable in the moment. But he wants to do what he wants when he wants it. If I listened to him, I'd spend all my time writing, reading comic books, watching movies, eating Screaming Yellow Zonkers, and smoking dope. Well, maybe that last part is my eighteen-year-old. The point is that Li'l Steve has all my creativity, all my aliveness, all my fascination with the world--in essence, almost everything that makes life worth while. But if he is disciplined by my adult self, I can create a safe place for him to play. I have to build the walls high, sweep the broken glass off my mental playground, and keep the pumas at bay. If I do that, he is not only safe, but the creativity produced fuels my entire life.

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If you DON'T discipline that child, you end up having the child part of your personality functioning in the adult world, and that doesn't work well. In fact, I rather look at it as pimping out your inner child, and that is a disaster by any standard. Most of the time when parents complain that they can't get their children to do something, it seems to me that their kids are just acting out some version of the parental habit patterns. Parents who drink are startled when their kids smoke dope. Parents who don't get off the couch complain that their kids don't want to go outside to play. Parents who live on starchy foods complain when their kids don't eat vegetables. Parents who hate their jobs complain that their kids don't want to do well in school. Well, why SHOULD the kids work hard, if the end of the line is a life spent toiling in a loathsome environment? Parents who suffer through loveless relationships wonder why their kids select bad partners. It is so sad, and so predictable. Kids imitate us slavishly, especially if it seems that we are happy in our lives. It's what they are genetically programmed to do. If we show them our lives, show them that we are genuinely engaging and that we've found a way to make our adult lives mature versions of our childhood dreams, not only are we providing the best role models for our children, but our lives have a sense of grace and elegance unavailable to those who ignore their inner drives...OR those who cannot discipline their childlike restlessness, sloth, and love of lying. This is the task before us. It is possible to become an adult without taming all three of these aspects, I'm certain. But taking at least the minimum responsibility for each is the surest road to creating a protective environment for the spiritual/emotional child within. You are now your own mother, your own father. And if Mommy and Daddy aren't home, the kids will burn down the house.

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Stallone apparently wants to make another Rocky movie. NO NO NO!! "Rocky Balboa" was actually a terrific good-bye to the character, and if he goes back to that well, I cannot imagine it being anything but a sad, compulsive, desperate grab at his past. Make all the "Rambos" you want, Sly--Rambo was always a cartoon. But Rocky was about love, and hope, and that first movie was genuinely great. Please, please please: I promise to go see "Expendables" twice if you will let Rocky rest in peace.

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The non-stop cavalcade of remakes, adaptations, sequels, "reimaginings" and so forth in Hollywood rolls on. This is nothing new: there have always been sequels, and probably in tough financial times they do more. After all, the movie industry is just that, an industry. Employing hundreds of thousand of people trying to pay their mortgages and put their kids through college. The auto industry doesn't change its line-up every year--it would be suicide. That said, we've had an extraordinary number of these things recently. Let's see...I'm gonna check and see how many of the top twenty films fall into that category (rustling of paper, surfing of web...)

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Well, how about that. Five in the top twenty fit that bill: Toy Story II (sequel), G.I. Joe (adaptation), The Stepfather (remake), Surrogates (adaptation), and Fame (remake). Is that a lot? A little. Hmmm. Just as an experiment, how does that compare with twenty years ago?

Top box office in 1989 included EIGHT in this category (that I could count): Batman (adaptation), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (sequel), Lethal Weapon 2 (sequel), Back to the Future 2 (sequel), Ghostbusters 2 (sequel), Dead Poet's Society (adaptation), Little Mermaid (adaptation), Christmas Vacation (sequel).

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How about fifty years ago? Again, I'm too lazy to fact check every one of these, but it looks like:

1) Ben Hur (remake/adaptation)

2)Sleeping Beautfy (adaptation)

3) Darby O'Gill and the Little People (adaptation)

4) Imitation of Life (remake)

5)Suddenly Last Summer (adaptation)

6) Anatomy of a Murder (adaptation)

7) On the Beach (adaptation)

8) Journey to the Center of the Earth (adaptation)

9) Hercules (adaptation?)

10) A Summer Place (adaptation)

11) Some Like It Hot (considered a remake of a German film)

12) Nun's Story (adaptation)

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Now, I've probably missed some, but there is an interesting pattern emerging I hadn't anticipated: Hollywood is basing its films more on its own past, where a generation ago films were more based on books. A drop in literacy? Intellectual cowardice? Statistical aberration? I don't know. What do you think? has remake/sequel fever gotten totally out of control?

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Ima Be Me: Wanda Rules

Wanda Sykes' HBO special "Ima be me" is brilliant stuff. Never seen her funnier, more vulnerable and honest, more powerful, more on point, more poignant, or, oddly...more attractive. It's as if "coming out" let her relax on some deep level. Just everything about the performance made me think she was the funniest woman I've seen in ages. She did a routine about how being gay was harder than being black, partially because no one ever had to explain blackness to their parents. God, I was howling. That particular little snippet of comedy was as good as any routine I've ever seen, anywhere, when it comes to socially relevant material, or humor that releases pain. Good, good for her. Wait till you see her bit about the salad bar on the gay cruise. I thought I was going to die laughing.

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Every morning I've been doing yoga and meditating with Jason. Pretty much, I can tell which days he's going to have his head together and which ones he's going to get into trouble. On "trouble" days he just can't keep his attention on what he's doing. He keeps looking off to the left rather than holding my eyes, and is easily frustrated. Keep my eye on that.

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Nicki is moving out...or "up", actually. She's moving up to Paso Robles to join a theater company with her mom. She'll get a new job up there, no doubt. Sigh. I'ma miss my baby, but I'll bet Toni will be turning handsprings of joy to have her girl close. Good for both of them.

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Jason gave me a bit of his cold, and it wakes me up at night just enough to throw my sleep cycle off. Bad bad bad...this makes me vulnerable like nothing else, and I need to jump back in bed until my body feels recovered. If I can do that, I'll probably skate through flu season...but have to be careful indeed.

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Going back through "Think And Grow Rich" reminds me of my childhood. My mother used to have that, and "Psycho-Cybernetics" and "The Power of Positive Thinking" and other records playing in the house until I thought I'd go nuts. But they obviously took hold. The most important things I'd remembered were having a Definite Chief Aim and being certain that your inner self-image actually matches your goals. Otherwise, you'll sabotage yourself, and rip yourself into pieces trying to follow two paths at once. Napoleon Hill suggests writing out your core statement of action and reading it twice a day, morning and night. Maxwell Maltz suggests spending a half-hour a day visualizing the new you. I'm not doing a Golden Hour right now--it's generally a half-hour, during which I exercise, do Coach Sonnon's Prasara yoga series, and listen to a Pimsleur Spanish lesson. Perfectly aware that yoga is best done with total concentration, but it's fun to experiment. To, for that 1/2 hour, try to carry myself as the person I aspire to be. Every breath in control, even as I twist and turn. To respond to the Spanish lessons even as I get a bit fatigued. It is definitely a challenge.

I think that the only things about our lives that CANNOT be changed are those things that cannot be changed with behavior. Smoking or drug usage can be ended. Money can be saved and earned. Honesty can blossom in troubled relationships. Bodies can be optimized. Lessons can be learned. Perceptual filters can be cleaned.

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It is grimly amusing when I hear adults making excuses they would never accept from their son or daughter (it generally boils down to: "I don't wanna!) , and then blame biology or genetics. Their only problem is that they let the child part of their personality make adult decisions. I suspect that this is why, for so long, parents sent unruly teens into the armed forces: to find them a "parental" figure who won't take crap. On some level, everyone would like to lay around all day, eat sweets and fats, have someone else take care of us, lie our way out of problems. If there isn't a strong parental figure to force us to take action, or help us see that such behavior will NOT get us what we want, people can damn well enter their 50's still operating as if they are 13 year olds who forgot their homework, coming up with some bizarre variation on "my dog ate my report." We look around for an escape hatch from adult responsibility, and fantasy can be a great one.

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Busyness is a great way to avoid the things you don't want to do. All you have to do is fail to prioritize, then get busy enough that the stuff on the end of your list never gets done. Oops! There goes balancing the checkbook, working out, having that tough talk with your spouse. Well, there's always Mañana. See? I knew that Spanish would come in useful.

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So...what is your favorite method of procrastination?

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Behaviors and Results

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I've been questioned about my position that our behaviors are influenced by our emotions and perceptual filters. Well, Duh. That's been my belief since childhood, and I see no reason to change it. And by looking at our three most basic arenas: relationship, career, and fitness/health, it seems that you have the complete foundation of our existence about as handled as it can be. Given that...who out there can deny that all three of these arenas are influenced by our behaviors? Now, if you take the position that balancing our checkbooks or our metabolic input/output or our urge to cheat on our spouse cannot be controlled because in some people emotions just get totally berserk, I can agree that we all lose our way from time to time.

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But nothing good has ever come in my life because people excused my bad or non-optimal behavior. On the contrary, I was blessed to have mentors who expected more of me than I expected of myself, and constantly guided me toward a purer and more powerful expression of self. Anyone who knows me (or has common sense) knows that I am far, far from perfect. That ain't what I'm selling. What I offer here is very simple: a point of view from someone committed to balance as a human being. If you want to hear someone who agrees that our emotions cannot be healed, our behaviors cannot be controlled, our perceptual filters cannot be cleansed, you will need to go somewhere else. Anyone who comes to this blog will find support for the idea that we can love ourselves and share love. Have a strong, healthy body within our genetic limits. Support ourselves gracefully doing something honorable and contributive, and expressive of self.

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The world is filled with pity parties that say relationships are impossible, our bodies are alien life-forms, and success with integrity is beyond our reach. My position is very clear: that is all self-pitying bullshit. Ego-protective lowest common denominator nonsense. It is whining at the world from the position of a sleeping child, rather than the powerful adult self that slumbers within you. Fitness, love, and success are all mightily influenced by behaviors. Control your behaviors, and you control your present and future. The only question then is: how do we control our behaviors?

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Go back to your childhood experience, or experience raising children, or training animals. In many ways, not much difference. Children have a vast array of behaviors they must change or adapt, and in most cases, they don't want to change. They complain that they can't, they are too tired, it isn't fair, other people don't have to do it, they've never done it, they're too busy to do it, it's too hard, etc. etc.

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Puppies want to pee and poop on the floor, chew the slippers, bark in the middle of the night, and jump all over the furniture. Unless both puppies and children are given loving discipline, pushed beyond their limits, they will remain or become shitty little brats. I often suspect that deep inside, we make a commitment: "when I'm an adult, I'll do what I want." I'll eat what I want, spend what I want, tell the lies that I want...and there will be no one to stop me.

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Every coach knows that his players will complain like children: I don't want to do it today. It isn't fair. You're asking for too much. The ego is exactly like that. Ask for too much, ask for it to change (die) and it will shriek.

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For almost sixty years I've watched people who fail in these three arenas, and those who succeed. And frankly, sorry, but I see dishonesty clustered there. I think it is reasonable to assume that 99% of people would like love, health/fitness, and enough money to pay all their bills and help their friends and family. And among those who don't have those things, better than 80% take the position that their results are not affected by voluntary behaviors.

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I MIGHT BE WRONG, BUT MY POSITION IS THAT THESE THINGS ARE INDEED INFLUENCED, OR CONTROLLED, BY VOLUNTARY BEHAVIORS. Given that, how can I help but assume that people are lying to themselves? They watch twenty hours of television a week, and then say they don't have time to exercise. They claim not to want relationships, and then complain about loneliness. They say they don't want money, and then complain about bills, lack of travel, or inability to help their loved ones. They lie, in other words.

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This is why Musashi made "Do Not Think Dishonestly" the very first principle. Because if you lie to yourself, you will distort your reality map, and become lost. Worst, you will surround yourself with people who agree with your distorted view of life, and feel that life is just out of control, there is nothing you or anyone can do, and anyone who believes it can change is just selling something.

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Fine. That's what you get "out there." I've gotten raked over the coals for suggesting that the depravations of slavery, Jim Crow, and segregation created genuine dysfunctions that ravage the black community, contributing to fatherless children, crime, disease, and inability to recognise opportunity. In other words, a cultural tendency to lie, those lies protecting the ego shell from the horrid possibility that Whites are correct to consider Blacks sub-human. Unbelievably damaging. And while I place the blame for the situation cleanly upon the dominating culture that dragged Africans here and brain-washed them, responsibility for climbing OUT of that hole is clearly on my racial brothers and sisters. There is no one else to do it, and it must be done.

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Geeze, I've taken crap for this. And it is precisely the same attitude I have toward individuals: 99% of people have more capacity than they've ever expressed, and what stops them is fear and lies. No, in no way do I think that the Right has more liars or deluded people than the Left. If I mention more of them, it's because the particular diseases of the Right impact my life more, and I think the country went out of balance in that direction. If things tilt back the other way, I'll probably shade toward Center-Right. At least that's what I tell myself--maybe that's a bit of self-deception right there.

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But a wealthy and powerful public figure who has a string of failed marriages, or is morbidly obese, raises questions instantly. If a wealthy person can't find the time to take care of himself (as little as an hour a week!) then none of us have any hope. Which is, of course, quite a comforting concept to our egos, which don't want to change anyway. No. If a billionaire says "I have to work 80 hours a week, even if it destroys my body, even if I lose my relationships" then they are saying that making money and accruing power is more important than anything else in the world.

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But that's not what they say on their death-beds. That's not what they say when they take their wedding vows. They want love and health, but are pulled in other directions by drives they don't know how to control, childhood vows to never be hungry again, never be manipulated again, never be abandoned again, never let anyone close enough to hurt us, ever again. Without being able to admit the conflicted goals, one cannot sort it out. And if you know that there are twisted, frayed wires in the head, one can either begin the process of un-twisting them, or you can avoid that pain and blame the problems on genetics, statistics, economics, or anything except your own behaviors.

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Frankly, most parents hear childish versions of these excuses from their children, every day. If the kids are lucky, the parents cut right through that bullshit and demand a higher level of excellence than the kids believe they can achieve. And time and again the kids actually learn to walk, or ride a bicycle, or do algebra, or read, or learn their lines, or hit the ball, or dance, or learn to lose with grace. Because there was someone who believed in them more than they believed in themselves.

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Maybe that's what's going on here: I believe in you, all of you, more than you believe in yourselves. I believe in the human potential for love, health, and happiness. Want to never be lied to again? Believe in human potential, and see anything less than excellence in these three arenas to be a warning sign. One sign...o.k. Two signs...a red alert. Three signs...absolute disaster, don't believe a word they say until you have a chance to observe their behaviors to see if they match their words. Yes, you will sometimes be too suspicious of people who really do have limited capacity and are doing their best. But far, far more often you will avoid the horrible feeling that "damn! Why didn't I see that coming? Why didn't I know he/she was a thief, abusive, a liar? Why didn't I see it?"

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You didn't see it because you are lying to yourself, and seek out relationships with others who are lying to THEMselves, so that they can't afford to call you on your bullshit. And unless their lies and distortions are a perfect match for your own, they'll throw you curves, and you'll squawk, and form a pity-party with friends who'll agree with you that the problem isn't your behaviors, it's the world "out there." Men, or women, or whites, or blacks, or Christians, or Muslims, or bodies, or Liberals, or Conservatives are the problem. Can't be you. Oh, no. Can't be that. The answers to all your problems can't be inscribed on your own soul. Oh, no. That would be just too cruel. That to fix the world, all you have to do is fix yourself? No, anything but that.

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If that's what you're looking for, look elsewhere. Period. Here, you will find a consistent point of view: you are more powerful, more wonderful, more capable of love and creation than you have ever dreamed. All you have to do is wake up, and take responsibility. And love yourself enough to soothe your wounds when, inevitably, you scrape your spiritual shins.

"Gotcha"

I hate "Gotcha" politics, and the Franken anti-rape amendment situation is an example of it. Look: on the surface, I'd vote for it in a moment. But the thirty Republican senators who voted against it (all male) are literally being called "pro-Rape." I don't know what aspects of the bill disturbed them. Probably something about government interference in private business contracts or something. But these guys have mothers, daughters, wives, and to suggest that they are "pro-rape" is really over the top. I've seen the same thing before, from the other side. People taking the very worst interpretation of a vote, and saying that someone is "pro-murder" "against the troops" "pro-terrorist" or some other crap. Sickens me. Good for Al, though. Wow. Maybe it really IS the Al Franken Decade.

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Couple of South Carolina politicos got quoted talking about fiscal responsibility being like having "A Jew watching your pennies." Oh, my. Does it feel to you like the flat rocks have been flipped over, and we're seeing more of the filth beneath these days? That motivates some people to suggesting that we're going "backwards" socially. I don't think so. I think we're just hearing a little more of how people actually feel about these issues. Remaining in denial, or hiding it, solves nothing. The recent piece about the Secret Service being stretched to its maximum by (among other things) an "unprecedented" number of threats against the POTUS was greeted by a predictable response: from the left, sorrow at the perfidy of the Right. From the Right, just denial or even justification. Those who are capable of waking up will hopefully do so.

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Watching "Dexter" is definitely one of my favorite entertainments. Almost as much fun is reading the "Talkbacks" on Aint It Cool News. Guys complaining about how Rita, the friendly serial killer's wife, is whiny and insecure...as if Dexter could possibly have a relationship with a whole and healthy female. Yeah, right. I suspect those guys might still be wondering why they can't date Supermodels.

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Jason is learning about lying. Basically, how well it works. Tananarive and I can't possibly watch everything he does, or know what he is thinking. So if there is an immediate punishment for telling the truth about something, he won't. Now, it can be hard to separate the lying from the "teasing"--which is another form of lie, of course. This one is going to take a very long time to work out. Musashi's first principle: "Do Not Think Dishonestly." Is a murderously hard one. And of course the easiest, and most dangerous person to lie to is yourself.

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Think And Grow Rich insists on re-reading your goals every day (wait a minute...I forgot to do that this morning. while I go and do it...O.K., I'm back now). This is because repetition of emotionally charged images programs the unconscious mind. How many times have grown adults told you that childhood criticism from family has negatively impacted their entire lives? Or conversely, support from their family set them on a positive path?

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Well...what if you didn't have a positive family environment? Then it behooves you to grow up, accept responsibility for your life, become in effect an adult. That adult can then create/provide programming for your "child" self, and that will change everything. Our beliefs (including political positions) can sway, slant and poison all of our perspectives. This corrupted information then feeds the unconscious computer to influence our actions. Information that doesn't fit our deepest beliefs is either deleted or ignored, or causes us deep distress. And how can we know if our lens is distorted? You know that my answer is to aim at balance in all three arenas, and to deeply examine any attitudes that take us away from this Holy Grail. If you have it, you don't need external teachers or gurus...although they can be useful. Ultimately, we have everything we need to make our way through life. We just have to embrace what Tananarive refers to as our "fabulousness." What if we were born not just to survive, but to thrive and grow? What if we were intended to have love, health, and success? What if everything other than that is a matter of emotional obstructionism and bad programming? I don't know if that's the truth, but it is one of the most useful lies imaginable.

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And since it's so hard to stop lying to ourselves, if I have to choose an intermediate position between being asleep and awake, it would be being asleep...and dreaming of hard, honest work toward a balanced, healthy, adult life.

Rush and "O"

The Justice of the Peace who denied a marriage license to an integrated couple made the national news. People squawked: "where is this Post-racial America?" Well, two things. First of all, you can't really get to Post-racial. This stuff is hard-wired in. Second, when I was a kid, or even twenty years ago, there wouldn't really have been any flurry about this. The fact that everyone is up in arms about something that was totally common a generation ago is about as "Post-racial" as you're going to get. Come on, people! We're doing the best we can.

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People ask: what can I do to help? In issues like this. And I'm sure that those who strive for Women's Rights, Gay Rights, and so forth are asked the same thing. I generally just advise people to be good, raise their children well, and watch what you say and do if you can't change how you feel. Now, I just ask people how long they want to live, and sincerely wish them health and happiness and all of those years...and then to die. Because what changes this stuff is time, and the roll of generations who are not invested in the pain of the past. Sorry, but I've stopped trying to change adults.

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One thing to remember, however: the people who claim to be "race neutral" or "they don't see race" are, at very best, deceiving themselves. Compare to a man or woman who says that they "don't see gender." It's nonsense. But one group profits by this delusion: racists. If they can just get the people of good will to pretend to "not see race" then they won't notice the automatic tendency of human beings to side with "theirs" and against the "others." In this arena, all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for people of good will to pretend not to be human.

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And if you'll notice, the most vicious demagogues protest most loudly that they "don't notice race." Yeah, right. If you want to know if Limbaugh could possibly be an honest person, look at two things, please:

1) his weight struggle

2) his miserable history with women.

Two-thirds of his life is totally out of whack. His career is through the roof, so there is no reason he could not spend all the time he needs to address his emotional needs and wounds. If he chooses not to do that, then he is clearly stating his priorities, his value hierarchy.

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By the way, Oprah has a very similar effect on my b.s. meter: the weight and her very public, very strange relationship with Stedman fairly radiates "unprocessed emotional baggage." In some ways its worse with "O" because she makes a huge case that we can heal if we have the right resources, find the right mentors and teachers, do the right exercises and eat the right foods. The subtextual message is: no, you can't. It is impossible to actually heal, really change, even if you have the resources of the most powerful woman in the world. This is very unfortunate, and gives millions of people excuses for not handling their business. "Well, if Oprah can't do it, why should I be able to..?"

Unfortunate, because in many ways she is one of the most powerful advocates of health and change we've ever had in the media.

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Ah, balloon boy stole the news cycle. It was amusing to hear some of the folks complaining about all the coverage, as if we aren't programmed--or hard-wired--to:

1) care about danger to children.

2) pay special attention to a dangerous thing we have never seen before.

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This, of course, was both. I am amused by the "why won't the news pay more attention to the things I care about politically?" I would fear for our species if we didn't drop everything to watch a flying saucer carrying away a child. What in the hell would we be?

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"Before forming your `Master Mind' alliance, decide what advantages, and benefits, you may offer the individual members of your group, in return for their compensation. No one will work indefinitely without some form of compensation. No intelligent person will either request or expect another to work without adequate compensation, although this may not always be in the form of money."

I recently communicated with an old friend who has been offered genuine and exciting opportunities to advance his/her career. Unfortunately, there is no support at home, and in fact, the spouse in question is dragging feet, fearful of change, fearful that if his/her partner advances, he/she will be left behind.

Totally predictable. There are several things here.

1) if you are in a committed relationship, it is not necessary to leave your partner in order to advance your life, in most cases. You MAY need to stop reacting to their childish, selfish, sabotaging behavior. As long as you are loving and honest and compassionate, not "rubbing their nose" in the fact that they can't keep up with you. Do you think Einstein's wife could keep up with him in physics? Do you think it mattered? Now, one thing is clear here: it is harder when women outperform their husbands, than if husbands outperform their wives. Try not to make the mistake of blaming "insecure men" for this. If you do, you are part of the problem. As a species, we have embraced some reproductive strategies that aren't great for us as individuals.

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If your partner loves you, and is an adult, they will want you to rise to your highest good. If they don't love you, or are not adult, there are problems that have nothing to do with gender. Relationships change and grow. This is a natural part of life, and we have to maintain communication and a loving open heart. People are genuinely afraid of abandonment: both men and women have walked out on their families. We have to be compassionate as well as ambitious. Be careful before you say "till death do us part." That kinda implies the obligation to make extraordinary effort.

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2) If you can reach outside your marriage or circle of close friends to find role models and master mind allies, it is totally possible to maintain your relationships and still find the support you need. But you do need to have things to offer the desired ally. If not money, there is knowledge, friendship, honest feedback...there are so many things. Honest admiration for accomplishment has earned me the time of some extraordinary men and women. Heck, offering to buy a meal will get you time with most people. What will you exchange?

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ﾠIf you are in a relationship with someone who will not change, who also objects to your change, you may have to think carefully if they work to sabotage you. What would you do if a mate tried to get you on drugs? Or encouraged you into prostitution? Or theft? You DO have to be careful to be true to yourself. I've seen men and women stay in horrible relationships with crazy people because that was the promise they made. They struggled to keep their families together under horrific stress...because that was the promise they made. These are heroes, especially if they manage to keep their honor and sense of self, their "soul' if you will, even under such pressure.

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I refuse to believe that these people are unique. And if you can maintain a relationship under tremendous negative pressure, doesn't it make sense that you can also do it as you reach for the stars?

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The point is that you mustn't allow a current committed relationship stop you from reaching for your dreams. You can bring the person along with you, you can isolate that part of your heart and allow them to remain as they are, or if necessary you can leave. But we have an obligation to fulfill ourselves so long as we do not violate the rights of others, or trash our honorable duties. When you die, you will go in the box by yourself. When you are in your death bed, looking back over your life, I think that the most meaningful things in life will be the contributions you have made, the people you have loved, the dreams you fulfilled. The degree to which you have honored the heart of the child within you. That fulfillment can be attained without being cruel to those who love you, and need to know you love them in return. This, I believe with my whole heart.

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Any disagreement?d