The Man Project

Intelligence. Support. Honesty. Fierce love, emotional openness...these are the things women (all, I believe, over 20) have been saying they want from men. All we need to do, then, is coordinate this with what younger girls say, and see where the two overlap--this will be the generative material to attract women all your life.

Comfortable in their physical bodies. Prepared to defend their ideas and principles. Unafraid to be honest and open. Capable of total intensity, and total relaxation. Deep self-love and self-acceptance, enough to spill over to all those around him. Can walk with Alphas without intimidating Betas.

So secure that he has no need to dominate others...but God help you if you try to dominate him, or hurt the helpless. Polite to a fault, but capable of being a total kid at times.

Highly sexual--no guilt or pain in this arena. Capable of controlling and guiding those sexual urges (CRITICAL if you want to have a successful marriage. Hell...if you want a successful LIFE! Note "The mystery of sex transmutation" from "Think And Grow Rich").

Unafraid of his power. Unafraid of a powerful woman (and in fact would settle for nothing less!)

Talking to both boys and men, sons, fathers and grandfather and seeing what they ALL agree upon, will provide the generative material to gain the respect and admiration of men.

WHERE THESE TWO CIRCLES, MALE AND FEMALE OVERLAP is the generative material for a mature male human being, capable of sustaining a healthy relationship with a mature adult human female, and raising and protecting children.

Note: what does this mean for gay men? Or those who don't wish to have children? Separate from some social rituals, I can't imagine why the basic truths don't apply. Women seem attracted to most of the same characteristics that gay men are attracted to. And even if you don't WANT children, one or two of the little monsters should be safe in your care.

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For the last year I've been canvassing the real MEN I've known. This means both searching my memory, histories and autobiographies, and making new interviews. These would be the kind of men boys want to be when they grow up. When they walk across a playground, the kids follow them.

When they drop their kids off at school, the mothers check them out. Little girls like to sit in their laps, and are totally safe doing so. They will be responsible financially and personally--they don't hurt women (although they are VERY much catnip to the ladies), are capable of long-term relationships. They don't lie to get laid. Ass-kickers but don't start fights. Have faced life-and-death conflict without becoming brutal or brutalized. Take responsibility for the children they have created. Are intelligent to a fault (although not necessarily intellectual). Most will be over fifty--I want men who survived the teen testosterone flush, have raised families, and are often grandfathers--these are the ones who understand what the Game of life really is, from a masculine perspective. Most of them have lost their parents. THAT grows you up pretty damned well. All are self-supporting, all generate enough income to support a family.

ﾠTheir lives should be reasonably balanced, and they should have physical and intellectual discipline, even if only moderate.

ﾠThey should be capable of being intimidating. If not physically, then intellectually or morally. They must be kind and loving. VERY sexual (if married, I should be able to SEE the air shimmer between him and his lady, and her eyes should get slightly smoky when she talks about him,)

His face should soften when he holds a baby, and must be perfectly comfortable changing diapers and playing silly games. They should have MASTERED at least one discipline. Not "good". Not "excellent." MASTERED, dammit. Life is too short for mere excellence. The price we pay at the end of it is one death. I can think of no level of success that is more than we deserve, so long as it does not impose on the rights of others. They should be teachers, or have taught men who follow him willingly. Preferably, he has raised a son to be a good, strong, gentle man. Either an Alpha, or someone who can deal with Alphas handily.

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In other words, a worthy mate for a Beta OR Alpha female. Either, helpless and pregnant, should have confidence that Her Man Can Handle It, or will die trying.

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These are the things I'm looking for, as I sort through the hundreds of teachers I've had. I'm creating my list now. This will be easy: I was so wounded, so hungry to understand what I was, to find a way to draw out my own masculine energy. All my life, when I've met men who struck me as being both balanced and MALE (and that means being capable of being threatening: either physically, intellectually, spiritually, and/or financially. If you can't scare/fight the wolves from the cave door [or maybe know how to Build A Better Door], the children are not safe.)

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Boys want to know how to obtain and handle power. To "raise it" through all seven chakras, and "run it" through the ten steps of the Hero's Journey. To attract the kinds of girls who attract them. And to be respected by the boys of their tribe. Later, to be responsible adults without losing their childhood aliveness. And to be able to attract and hold a good woman in an honest, mutually supportive relationship, and simultaneously have the respect of men. And frankly, if men are just a little wary of him, that's fine with me. A touch of the predator is all right, if it's under his mental/emotional control. The most attractive, intelligent, and powerful women often have that "lioness" energy. What a lioness needs is a LION, not a damned dog.

I've been blessed to know a number of men who fit these conditions. Not all have had children. Not all are physical paragons. Not all are drop-dead brilliant. But all are good, and strong. All have made their mark in the world. All have taught boys to be men, one way or another. All are catnip to the ladies. All can laugh, and cry. All would stand between a woman and harm, in a heartbeat.

None apologize for their lives.

Martial Artists. Soldiers. Teachers. Therapists. Writers. Lawyers. Doctors. Business people. In traditional societies this would have been a CIRCLE OF MEN: fathers, uncles, grandfathers. When the young men of the village wanted to know what a man was, they needed look no further than the Men's Hut.

Now? Thirteen year olds get their advice from fifteen year olds. They watch cinematic images and mistake them for real life. They follow sports figures who are NIGHTMARES as men, but have advanced motor skills. Whoopdy do. That's like expecting Woody Allan to be a role model because he is a brilliant writer/director. They think sex equals love, and money equals maturity. That fear equals respect. That making a baby makes them a man.

They are wrong, and they are swarming our streets.

ﾠ have been BLESSED. God knows I needed role models like roses need rain. And I'm going to take what I learned from them about sex, love, life, and power, fitness and intellect...overlap those models, overlap that with what women of all ages say they want, and what I'll have is something I would be proud to give my son.

And if I love it, my son would love it, my teachers and mentors love it, and...well, not to put too fine a line on it my WIFE loves it...

ﾠI have the right to share it with the public. And only then.

Is there ANYTHING I've said here that raises alarm bells for anyone, male or female?