tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post3844449344579851996..comments2024-03-25T17:38:55.490-07:00Comments on Dar Kush: On Mom's Weary ShouldersSteven Barneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13630529492355131777noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-72140206921285303532010-02-04T21:07:37.340-08:002010-02-04T21:07:37.340-08:00Follow up report:
I started doing this with my c...Follow up report: <br /><br />I started doing this with my children, and I thought you'd like to hear what happened... <br /><br />The other night, my youngest one climbed into bed with me. Still mostly asleep, I asked her:<br /><br />Me: Who's my favorite 5 year old?<br />Child: Me. <br />Me: Are you sure?<br />Child: Yes. [yawns]<br /><br />Me: How long do I love you?<br />Child: Couple of weeks... ?<br /><br />After I finished laughing, I 'corrected' her answer, and now she always gets it right... even when she's half asleep... thanks for a great idea, guys!!LaVeda H. Masonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04452087711993638577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-59116221365779021342010-01-27T05:26:16.197-08:002010-01-27T05:26:16.197-08:00~~I've tried it, and watched his eyes light up...~~I've tried it, and watched his eyes light up. Now I ask him, from several different directions, "How long will I love you?" And he enthusiastically answers: "forever and ever!"~~<br /><br />This is wonderful! I tell each of my children that they are my favorite __ year old [whatever their age is at the time]... and I ask them all the time, "Who's my favorite __year old?!?" And they respond with"ME!!"<br /><br />Sometimes I 'play' with it, and say, "Is it Mrs. Such and So?" [Who is WAY over the age in question], or is it "So and So?" [Who is also __ years old]... they giggle at the older person's being my favorite little one, and confidently dismiss the other same-age child's 'claim' on my affections. <br /><br />I will be adding this to my childrens' love talk... because it's absolutely true, AND they need to hear it, as often as I can say it. <br /><br />Dan: <br /><br />Amen!! Conveying the emotion is more important than pleasing the 'grammar police'. It's a more accurate statement too, in my opinion.LaVeda H. Masonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04452087711993638577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-80088286940711232272010-01-27T05:16:35.094-08:002010-01-27T05:16:35.094-08:00" I do believe that he was afraid we might ta..." I do believe that he was afraid we might take him back to the "baby store." How he got that notion I do not know or care. "<br /><br />You may want to do some gentle probing and find out where he got that bit of stray negative programming; Jason may be dealing with someone who was taught this, and passing it on to him from their own pain. <br /><br />Sometimes too, adults use this kind of thing to frighten a child into compliance; many times, people who should know better say things without thinking. And, unfortunately, there are also people [yes, who work with children] who confuse verbal abuse with discipline [!!!]. <br /><br />When you have an idea where this programming comes from, you can let Jason know that people sometimes say or do things that may hurt his feelings or scare him, but it has nothing to do with him or his value... thereby building his 'shields' against other, more insidious negative programming that he may encounter when he is not around you. <br /><br />And that you love him forever.LaVeda H. Masonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04452087711993638577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-50992492314502111872010-01-26T17:10:25.022-08:002010-01-26T17:10:25.022-08:00Pretty interesting blog you've got here. Thank...Pretty interesting blog you've got here. Thanks for it. I like such topics and everything connected to them. I would like to read a bit more on that blog soon.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-4149331746443745072010-01-26T14:51:04.083-08:002010-01-26T14:51:04.083-08:00I was saying the other day that I find it somewhat...I was saying the other day that I find it somewhat illogical that singles rarely ask happily married people for advice. They usually go to their other single friends for advice and then if one of those single friends gets married than they're considered "other" and no longer sought out for advice, b/c they don't "get it." My BFF married early and I sought her advice throughout all of my courtships, and I think that's why I'm happily married today. <br /><br />I don't believe in hitting for the same reason that I didn't believe in credit when I was poor. I knew I didn't have enough real money to handle a credit card, and in general, I know I don't have enough patience with myself or others to incorporate hitting into my child-rearing routine. <br /><br />Also, my mother was one of the few black women I knew who didn't believe in hitting, and I believe my sister and myself to be shining examples of what can happen when you use "clever punishments" as opposed to "hitting" to get the behavior you desire. <br /><br />We were terrific teenagers and I think that was because we learned early to talk out our problems with our mother and that hitting just wasn't okay for her or for us.Ernessa T. Carterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17765310225042942524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-42427148497011281422010-01-26T14:10:08.622-08:002010-01-26T14:10:08.622-08:00:-) You're pretty terrific yourself.
The only...:-) You're pretty terrific yourself.<br /><br />The only comment I'd add is that when I use it I drop the "will" ... it might be ungrammatical, but it changes it from a statement of intent to a statement of what <b>is</b>. When my now-14 year old stepson was about 4 I said, "I will love you forever," and he said (immediately), "No you won't," and without even thinking about it I said, "I do. I love you forever right now," and that got him over it and we had a hug, and he was better. And I stopped using the "I will" phrasing. "I love you forever."Daniel Keys Moranhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12992599044462413412noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-87446526714666995522010-01-26T12:19:07.142-08:002010-01-26T12:19:07.142-08:00>I've tried it, and watched his eyes light ...>I've tried it, and watched his eyes light up. Now I ask him, from several different directions, "How long will I love you?" And he enthusiastically answers: "forever and ever!" <<br /><br />Great idea! I'm going to try that too!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-26856677304225173092010-01-26T09:19:51.164-08:002010-01-26T09:19:51.164-08:00>I've tried it, and watched his eyes light ...>I've tried it, and watched his eyes light up. Now I ask him, from several different directions, "How long will I love you?" And he enthusiastically answers: "forever and ever!" <<br /><br />That is really wonderful. I've got to remember that.<br /><br />--<br />Mike R.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com