tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post1649838191179106874..comments2024-03-25T17:38:55.490-07:00Comments on Dar Kush: He's my boySteven Barneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13630529492355131777noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-61562515412744300302012-01-17T02:29:35.368-08:002012-01-17T02:29:35.368-08:00I liked the posts and cool layout you have here! I...I liked the posts and cool layout you have here! I would like to thank you for sharing your experience and the time it took to post!! Two Thumbs up!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.vitanherbs.com" rel="nofollow">natural minerals</a>saimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18281551295502083429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-80956229116019165482011-08-03T15:46:33.544-07:002011-08-03T15:46:33.544-07:00as you wish - you're boss. say "your"...as you wish - you're boss. say "your" it mean that he will YOUR. all rightbuy homeworkhttp://aplusa.org.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-45013691153856804612007-11-28T08:38:00.000-08:002007-11-28T08:38:00.000-08:00I did not really write what I meant, I think. Wha...I did not really write what I meant, I think. What I observe is that your (Steve's) comment about white men in my demographic group made me aware, on a much more "real" level than I ever had been before, what a black person must feel when told "You are not like those <I>other</I> black people," or "You don't <I>seem</I> black," or words to that effect. I had only had an intellectual understanding of this before, but here is something to which I have reacted in a similar way.<BR/><BR/>Don't apologize, Steve. It was a very useful experience, even if unpleasant.Pagan Topologisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01611788563582362688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-32561529538296920862007-11-27T23:11:00.000-08:002007-11-27T23:11:00.000-08:00Hear Frank now and believe him later -- while ther...Hear Frank now and believe him later -- while there is a real condition behind ADHD (brains mature more slowly than usual) -- even kids with the biological condition do catch up and reach neurological maturity, <B>regardless of whether they're medicated.</B><BR/><BR/>I'm not a medical expert and I'm not going to sit in judgement of other parents -- but someone would jack one of my kids up on Ritalin over my dead body. Cocaine addicts given a blast of Ritalin can't tell the difference in their response ...<BR/><BR/>The first medical professional who tried to tell me one of my sons had ADHD had talked to him for 20 minutes ... that boy is now in the 6th grade, getting As and Bs and having no discipline problems, at school or at home. And that schmuck with his bare face hanging out said he seemed a candidae for medication ....<BR/><BR/>~~~~~<BR/><BR/><I>The world is full of contention and contentious people. They will not tell you the time of day or day of the month without their little display of hostility. I have argued with Meyer about it. It is more than a reflex, I think. It is an affirmation of importance. Each one is saying, "I can afford to be nasty to you because I don't need and favors from you, buster." It is also, perhaps, a warmed application of today's necessity to be cool. ... <BR/><BR/>If I were King of the World I would roam my kingdom in rags, incognito, dropping fortunes onto the people who are nice with no special reasons to be nice, and having my troops lop off the heads of the mean, small, embittered little bastards who try to inflate their self-esteem by stomping on yours. I would start the lopping among post-office employees, bank tellers, bus drivers, and pharmacists. I would go on to checkout clerks, bellboys, prowl-car cops, telephone operations, and U.S. Embassy clerks. By God, there would be so many heads rolling here and there, the world would look like a berserk bowling alley. Meyer says this shows a tad of hostility.</I><BR/><BR/>John D. MacDonald, <I>The Empty Copper Sea</I><BR/><BR/>~~~~~<BR/><BR/>My list is longer than John D's. :-)Daniel Keys Moranhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12992599044462413412noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-52703211447512454582007-11-27T16:21:00.000-08:002007-11-27T16:21:00.000-08:00Oh, and Rory? I never thought of Kami as a prince...Oh, and Rory? I never thought of Kami as a princess. More of a Queen.Steven Barneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13630529492355131777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-33288764968407803132007-11-27T13:39:00.000-08:002007-11-27T13:39:00.000-08:00Thanks, Frank. I will.##And David: I'm not talkin...Thanks, Frank. I will.<BR/>##<BR/>And David: I'm not talking about you, or anyone in particular. It's not about individuals, it's about statistics. I don't try to change people any more: These days, I just talk to those capable of and willing to change. My suggestion? Be one of the 20%. Take care of yourself. Love your neighbor as yourself. Leave the world a little better than you found it. The rest will work out, in time. It's not about you and me, and never was. It's about our children and grandchildren.Steven Barneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13630529492355131777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-86919912235581203162007-11-27T13:01:00.000-08:002007-11-27T13:01:00.000-08:00You can go to the Internet Movie Data Base and che...<I>You can go to the Internet Movie Data Base and check all-time box office records. Look at the movies that have earned over 100 million.</I><BR/><BR/>Yes, I could do that. But then I would have to watch all those films and grade the sex scenes. I'm just not gonna do that.<BR/><BR/><I>There is nothing that can be “done.”</I><BR/><BR/>But, in a larger sense, you are noting that the media to a large extent is a mirror for the culture whose audience is the target. And there is something to be learned about us, and who we currently are, from what is popular. An aspect of which you are noting. <BR/><BR/>(I wonder what it means that at one point (specifically when I was growing up) people like Frank Sinatra and Ray Charles were pop, and today it's, um, Brittany.)<BR/><BR/>But our relationship with media is more complex than that, as there is clearly, some elements of a feedback/control loop going on: People get what they demand from the media, but the media has at least some autonomous effect on the audience. How much of an effect, though, is hard to say, but I would venture to guess that it is overblown by (wait for it) the media.<BR/><BR/>With regards to growing up boys: I had one of those and I worked it pretty much the way you did. But I will warn you of this: when your son goes to school, the teachers are not interested in the fact that he was defending the weak.<BR/><BR/>They will want him on Ritalin at the very first sign of aggression.<BR/><BR/>Or questioning.<BR/><BR/>Heads up...Frankhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15123761608738909200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-8055704883295423832007-11-27T12:25:00.000-08:002007-11-27T12:25:00.000-08:00I wonder whether this hands-off policy would work ...<I>I wonder whether this hands-off policy would work today, and whether it would be really unsafe for a black child.</I><BR/><BR/>That kind of hands-off policy has always been unsafe for some children. I think part of the problem is that there are at least two different kinds of "getting into fights as a child" situations, the ones where it's one on one, and the ones where a whole bunch of kids are ganging up on you and physically attacking you. Kids may initially describe both situations the same, because they don't always have the language or understanding to tell adults the difference.<BR/><BR/>I was a girl who was in the latter situation at school (boys ganging up on me, not girls), and at one point, in a discussion with some guys online about bullying, it was made clear to me that we had <I>completely</I> different assumptions about what, typically, "bullying" actually meant. I assumed, from my own experience, smaller child having to physically fight off a whole gang of bigger and older children, while they assumed, from their experience, single boy trying to bully another single boy and backing down quickly if the other boy actually gave him a fight (as for girls, I think they were assuming that girls didn't get in fights, and boy didn't normally hit girls). I got in way more than two fights as a child, always with boys who were bigger than me. That kind of situation needs <I>some</I> kind of adult intervention (though what adult intervention actually works best, I don't know).<BR/><BR/>Similarly, some adults assume too quickly that <I>girls</I> aren't talking about actual <I>physical</I> fights, and so they give advice like "Just ignore it," or "He's just doing that because he <I>likes</I> you." <I>Bad</I>, bad advice, if what he's doing is actually physically attacking the girl.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05790817191064960963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-51797392093808036902007-11-27T12:13:00.000-08:002007-11-27T12:13:00.000-08:00"The mighty warrior in gleaming armor with deadly ..."The mighty warrior in gleaming armor with deadly weapons on the fiery steed. But all of that lethal skill was…(flourish of hat)… “at your service, m’lady.” <BR/>...<BR/><BR/>Or, to explain my love of Kami, every thug needs a princess.Roryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08483616030072739190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-71405252118696914192007-11-27T12:02:00.000-08:002007-11-27T12:02:00.000-08:00Steve,I agree with your points about raising boys....Steve,<BR/>I agree with your points about raising boys. The concept of the knight is definitely what is missing. Teaching boys that both physical aggression AND manners are manly and correct under appropriate circumstances is something that we definitely need to do more of. While I'm not entirely sure that I would want my son to go through what I went through in military college (VMI), there is something to be said for teaching young men to both box and tip their hats to ladies.<BR/><BR/>Gene L.Reluctant Lawyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06840736619081764445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-17285951597338851522007-11-27T11:18:00.000-08:002007-11-27T11:18:00.000-08:00Steve,You sound like my dad with the son raising.....Steve,<BR/>You sound like my dad with the son raising...lol. He did the same with my brother, who is now a high school English teacher at age 28, so something worked. I used to be the big pushover, now I'm aggressive. <BR/><BR/>You made some excellent points. I majored in psychology and am involved in a career in that field. I agree with what you said about people "wearing" t-shirts. I have worked at some interesting places the past few years and that has shaped how I relate to all people. It's uncanny how I can talk with complete strangers because I read them so quickly.<BR/><BR/>I'm also rewriting my novel and plan to have an agent by early next year. I've been writing for years. I have to make certain I buy all of your books. I already have ALL of Tananarive's. What? I love horror! LOL. :*)Tyhitia Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14070000168178880911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-76908339413015984262007-11-27T10:20:00.000-08:002007-11-27T10:20:00.000-08:00Beautiful, Steve. I think there may be a conundrum...Beautiful, Steve. I think there may be a conundrum for your son that I did not face growing up white. My father would not listen to anything regarding fights at school. He said that boys got into fights from time to time, and they needed to take care of it themselves. I got into two fights as a child. Both times I was soundly beaten. My father offered neither punishment nor sympathy. I wonder whether this hands-off policy would work today, and whether it would be really unsafe for a black child. But I suspect that it is unrealistic to think that young males will never get into physical confrontations.<BR/><BR/>I admit to being a little troubled by your assessment concerning white men born before 1950, since I am a white man born in 1944. But it certainly reminds me of what it is like to be lumped into a group and feeling that it is unjust that I be so. <BR/><BR/>Like Frank, I find myself wanting to do thought experiments about what can be done about the problem of black men behaving sexually in movies. (Never thought I would agree with him about anything.) Even <I>Idlewild</I> was not immune, though it was a movie I really liked. I also like Spike Lee films a lot. I think that this issue is at the root of my recurring wish that Wesley Snipes be cast as James Bond someday. I have wanted to see this ever since <I>Passenger 57</I>. Of course, my opinion here is one that does not count for much, since I very rarely watch movies. I prefer to read a book more than 99 time out of 100.<BR/><BR/>David BellamyPagan Topologisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01611788563582362688noreply@blogger.com