tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post1624578593153051916..comments2024-03-18T02:14:06.798-07:00Comments on Dar Kush: "...but thinking makes it so."Steven Barneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13630529492355131777noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-91517995537259860792013-03-12T06:01:53.852-07:002013-03-12T06:01:53.852-07:00Some of what we now call "bullying" is s...Some of what we now call "bullying" is simply the natural hierarchical male behavior, found in primates as well as every society in the world. It is a preparation for life, because, frankly, outside of your immediate family and friends, all the world wants from you is "what can you do?"<br />This push/push-back is older than civilization. Only half, at most, of the answer is to educate people, create social webs, and so forth. The rest, frankly, is individuals learning to stand up for themselves. You are quite correct: I was viciously "bullied" as a kid, but it wasn't until I was an adult that I realized it was nothing personal. Just these kids trying to find themselves in the world. And if you don't learn, as an individual, to "push back" when pushed (when appropriate) how can you ever help someone else? Competition is not innately vicious, but weakness brings out the predator in even the nicest people: not a pretty sight. The answer is BOTH compassion and group action...AND each and every one of us awakening the warrior within us. Self-protection is part of the wiring of animal in the world. Human beings have this aspect as much as they have the artistic, healing, or nurturing aspects. Anyone who tells you different is lying to you. We contain multitudes.Steven Barneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13630529492355131777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-826681287968513032013-03-08T22:16:27.391-08:002013-03-08T22:16:27.391-08:00Late to comment, but this one has been tickling th...Late to comment, but this one has been tickling the back of my brainstem since I first read it, and I think I've figured out what was bothering me.<br /><br />"That's how boys play . . . ". I find I'm rather put off by this idea. Thinking back to bits of my own childhood, I was sometimes intimidated and frightened by behaviors from my peers that adults excused by "that's how boys play" when in fact bullying would have been a better name for it. Kinda sounds like that may have been the case for you as well, Steve.<br /><br />I've met you and your wife on a couple of occasions, and I know you're some of the kindest and gentlest people I've every had the pleasure of meeting, so I realize that if the nurture side of the equation is at all determinative, the likelihood of the two of you rearing a bully is unlikely in the extreme. But should a teaching moment like this recur, I would suggest that you might want to let Jason know that sometimes boys might actually not want to play that way, and that he needs to know if and when he's got a willing partner in roughhousing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-66760703779187957312013-03-04T17:23:05.904-08:002013-03-04T17:23:05.904-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-23647243771833678082013-03-04T10:45:22.847-08:002013-03-04T10:45:22.847-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-89573229317354666012013-03-03T12:51:16.710-08:002013-03-03T12:51:16.710-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-70252329365509812242013-03-01T21:30:04.339-08:002013-03-01T21:30:04.339-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-71067153476663612992013-02-28T12:44:56.780-08:002013-02-28T12:44:56.780-08:00I love your stories about your son and how you rai...I love your stories about your son and how you raise him. Everytime I read something from you on this, it gives me ideas on how to raise my own children. I would love to hear more on this!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9339191.post-71671826500701567792013-02-28T08:43:40.243-08:002013-02-28T08:43:40.243-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com